I found a white hair on my head. (2312 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.77 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Malificent (View user info) at 2004-06-01 11:30:00 EDT
Last night I found my first white hair.
I have very dark hair. I was staring at myself in the mirror (don't deny you've all done it before) and there it was. I swear it was mocking me. I thought any second it was going to sprout eyes and a little mouth and start hissing at me like one of Medusa's snakes. The worst part was that the white part of the hair was at least six inches long, so god knows how long it's been that way, festering until such a time as it could make itself known to me and damage my self esteem as irreparably as it has.
I must have stood staring in disbelief at this white hair for about three minutes. I cannot begin to explain the plethora of terrifying thoughts that can plague a person in three minutes, least of all a twenty-two year old person who has just found a white hair on their head. I suddenly fancied that I could see five or six new wrinkles that hadn't been there before. Thoughts such as "Is that a liver spot?" and "Holy fucking shit, I think I see love-handles" were among the many.
"What the hell are you doing?" my sister asked.
"Dude," I exclaimed, "can you see that on my head?" I pointed frantically to the offending hair.
"Haha," the twelve-year-old spawn of Satan said. "You're getting old!"
"Shut the fuck up and get out."
This white hair is going to haunt me, I thought. How am I supposed to sleep knowing it's there...mocking me...spreading its evil propoganda regarding lack of pigmentation to the rest of my hairs until they all join the bandwagon and I wake up looking like Cruella De Vil?
After another two minutes my boyfriend sauntered in. "What's up babe?" he ventured, blissfully oblivious to the personal purgatory that I was going through. Distraught by this time, I merely motioned pitifully to my head and make a high-pitched noise that sounded something like "Myyherrswyyyte!!"
"...you stupid bint," he declared, and in one swift motion he plucked out the hair and threw it in the bin.
I stared disbelieving at him for a second or two, until he smirked and said "Wanna go get a pizza?"
I sighed.
"Sure thing."
User Reviews
Submitted by Charred (user info) at 2005-03-31 17:37:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
In the last month or so I've had to pluck two white hairs out of my heard.
What? I'm young, I shouldn't have to do that!
I hear if you pluck a white hair, three come to it's funeral.
God I hope that's a myth.
Submitted by Amusingly_shaped_semen_stain (user info) at 2004-10-06 07:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The other day I noticed that I had 2 gray pubes, but when I pulled one out, my left bollock fell off.
I left the other one alone.
Submitted by Malificent (user info) at 2004-10-06 07:41:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks Alah -- I did have trouble with the title at first so I used something I had written previously and tried to work an angle on that. Such is the nature of the beast. Remember when the brackets first went up and I said I would make you my bitch...? ;-)
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-09-26 21:25:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratz :)
Good luck against Loren, I'm rooting for you!
+2's for life for kicking my ass so bad.
Lemme ask you though: Did you have a hard time with the title?
Remember to keep it very vague: I don't want to get you DQ'd, so don't mention ANYTHING about what the title was or what the subject of your post was!
Again, congratz!
Also: I don't find any white hairs: How good my day is going to be is based apon how much hair is in the drain after my morning shower.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-09-06 19:43:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
boo-flippin-who I have a few gray hairs and I'm only 17, (noticed them when I was 16)
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-09-06 19:33:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I had this experience just a few weeks ago. Devastating.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-09-06 19:21:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no white hairs... but then again, I dye my hair often.
and, NA, I miss you.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-06-01 12:04:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
Why didn't you invite the white hair to get pizza with you?
Inconsiderate bint!
On a side note, I no longer have ANY hair on my ample nutsack.
Submitted by triple_optics (user info) at 2004-08-26 05:06:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If your going to be picky mate.
propoganda?! Wrong Dip Shit.
propaganda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're a Cock.
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2004-06-03 11:12:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Just for Men did wonders on my fire crotch
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-06-01 17:02:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Don't forget to check your six. There could be a spot on the back of your head developing. ;)
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-06-01 12:14:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i heard if you pluck a gray/ white hair 2 will grow
in it's place. next time grab a box of clairol
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-06-01 12:04:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why didn't you invite the white hair to get pizza with you?
Inconsiderate bint!
On a side note, I no longer have ANY hair on my ample nutsack.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-01 11:56:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Malificent (user info) at 2004-06-01 11:39:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-06-01 11:36:10 (#)
Ranking: -1
Thought i was reading about your first white head for most of that.
Made me remember seeing my own white head, squeezed from a large shoulder mountano, in my lady friends hair and face. oh the joy "
If I could give a +2 to a review that would have got it.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-06-01 11:36:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Thought i was reading about your first white head for most of that.
Made me remember seeing my own white head, squeezed from a large shoulder mountano, in my lady friends hair and face. oh the joy
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-01 11:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Made me smile