Gay Sex (1130 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.09 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Malone (View user info) at 2004-06-02 01:42:10 EDT
Reading over the local papers in the section where citizens call or write in with opinions about everything, this gay sex & gay marriage thing is a hot topic. A glance over Ubersite also turns up some gay discussion. Never in my life have I heard the words "gay" "lesbian" "homosexuality" than over the past years. Honestly I'm sure some wizard at MIT has done statistics on the frequency of those words appearing in public over a time curve. I'd like to see it. I'm getting tired of hearing about the gays. As a matter of fact, I'm getting so tired of the gay issue that it begins to annoy me being around some of the gay people I know. My fellow American neighbors and brothers, take a step back, take a breath, and relax.
What's all the hub bub about? If you don't know or aren't sure then read on and I'll tell you what all the fuss over gays is.
Ever since the gays came over on a boat from Paris, America has been getting fidgety.
A long time ago in a country called America, the people were more concerned about what was going on in their country than who was doing what in somebody else's country. It must have been a refreshing time to live in. During this period, gays stayed in the closet, which is to say that they were not openly gay. However they did spend a good deal of time in the closet because that's where the wardrobe was kept along with the shoes, and Lord knows that what was worn a week ago cannot be worn again until exactly one year later.
People who were gay did not let on about it due to the widespread public fear of forced anal sex by gay strangers who "came out."
Some time later in more recent times everybody is gay. Well, that's not entirely true, every other person is gay (except me, I masturbated to the JC Penny catalog just today, TWICE!) Everybody knows that gays only jack off to the Sears catalog because of the Craftsman tool section which reminds them of hard working men with hard hats and hard bodies. If I say hard once more that will be four times. There.
The military used to have a long standing position on the gay subject. They were not allowed to join. Today, this is no longer the case but if you are in the military and let everybody know you're gay they will kick you out. The reason behind this is complicated but boils down to two things. First, straight soldiers assume that the faggot has queer hands and will throw down his weapon in battle and instead of fixing the bayonet, will argue and slap it out with the enemy. Secondly the soldiers are afraid of showering or being in the same unit with a gay person due to the widespread public fear of forced anal sex by gay strangers.
Now people are freaking out about gay marriage. The outrage to me shouldn't have gone beyond wardrobe concerns. Who wears the tux and who wears the train? But I must think different than you.
What I think is that the whole shit storm over gays, the whole big stinking shit storm over gays is sex. Gay sex. Gay sex has nothing to do with morality, and has nothing to due with social acceptance. Gay sex has everything to do with FUNCTIONALITY.
The purpose for human intercourse (that's fucking) is for reproduction. That's it. That's why it feels so good and hurts so bad to do it. It feels good enough that you want to do it, but hurts just bad enough to keep the population in check.
Gay sex is not for reproduction. Gay sex serves no functional purpose. No baby will come from gay sex. The sands of time do not record gay sex as having any value. Gay sex is pointless. No king or queen has ever come out of gay sex. Gay sex is pointless, purposeless and lacks total value to humanity. Gay sex is wholly recreational. So the whole fucking situation that has people screaming "Fuckin Liberals/Fuckin Conservatives" is all about functionality.
Big deal.
User Reviews
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-09-29 05:55:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
as the rest* sorry for the typo
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-09-29 05:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think gays should be able to get married. Why not let them be as miserable as of the population? I mean gay sex is just as reproductive as a straight man and a straight barren woman having sex. It shouldn't matter what sex or orientation you are; if you want to get married, you should be able to.
Submitted by steph (user info) at 2007-09-29 02:17:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No king or queen has ever come out of gay sex.
--
But queens have gay sex all the time!
Submitted by Eric_Rice (user info) at 2004-10-17 14:53:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-06-03 06:13:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My stock is expensive Malone are you sure you have the dough?
Good post.
Fuck You! You are teh suckage!
:-)
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-06-02 11:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Men have always been assfuckers...goes back since the erection began.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-06-02 06:29:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree. But then again, if a supermodel started sucking you off, would you tell her to stop because it doesn't make babies?
Submitted by SoxSexSax (user info) at 2004-06-02 05:45:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty good. Kill the queers!
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-06-02 05:22:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damnit i was expecting pictures or a swf at the least!
Submitted by Malone <malone.at.luciferindustries.com> at 2004-06-02 05:22:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not logging in for this, but Jewdo you're right which is why I DID say that it's "wholly recreational." I thought about taking a detour to talk about causal sex in general because that's what we can goes off into, but decided not to in order to keep the post on track and shorter.
Malone
Submitted by JewdoMaster (user info) at 2004-06-02 04:13:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I disagree, in part. Yes, it serves no 'goal' - but it is done for pleasure. Why do you have a job? To get money. Why do you have money? To have a nice house, and some good food and maybe some luxury. Why that? Because you want to be happy. Take a short-cut and just have some sex. Gay or straight, it's all the same when it's done for fun.
So, as with regards to that, I disagree. You get a +2 because the quality of your writing was good.
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-06-02 03:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
But we (malone and I) have gay sex all the time!
Submitted by DMWJorge (user info) at 2004-06-02 03:45:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's pretty funny. I like it.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-06-02 02:31:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-06-02 01:58:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Malone you are a whore.
A hit whore.