Ubersite
Home - About Us - Contact
"Bow Chicka Bow Wow"
Welcome to Ubersite!
Search Ubersite
Search for:

Most Recently Reviewed
  1. A Stoned Question
  2. This isn't creepy at all...
  3. Stop! Weathertime, Boring...
  4. Part III (For jumpinjellyf...
  5. What's your Theme Song, Ub...
  6. Animal Match-Ups In .gif F...
  7. Super Important Question
  8. Sleep now?
  9. I'm Back!
  10. Wuthering Heights – A book...
more...
Most Heated
  1. Sleep now? (85 heat)
  2. What's your Theme Song, Ub... (49 heat)
  3. Super Yum? (31 heat)
  4. This isn't creepy at all... (30 heat)
  5. 2012: It Could Happen... (25 heat)
  6. SPT, I know why Shlongy di... (23 heat)
  7. Wuthering Heights – A book... (21 heat)
  8. Stop! Weathertime, Boring... (20 heat)
  9. Le Post de Jeudi - Avec Merde (18 heat)
  10. Super Important Question (17 heat)
more...
Most Viewed Messages
  1. The Ultimate MS Paint: It... (1216809 hits)
  2. "If I cum now, will it be ... (774102 hits)
  3. How The Hell Do I Get Out ... (507661 hits)
  4. Exploiting Peer-to-Peer Ne... (427341 hits)
  5. Motivating the Weekend (383706 hits)
  6. How To Pick Up Chicks (352522 hits)
  7. Knockoff porn movie titles (327834 hits)
  8. My J-Date Misadventure (317727 hits)
  9. Masturbating on Skype with... (313685 hits)
  10. Badass Australian Cows (275450 hits)
more...
Most Viewed Authors
  1. Bart Cilfone (1572746 hits)
  2. S. William Moore II (1562185 hits)
  3. Razor (1536156 hits)
  4. JMG114 (1496972 hits)
  5. Sydeburnz (1433051 hits)
  6. MickGinny (1400425 hits)
  7. loki (1143751 hits)
  8. Jonukah (1084191 hits)
  9. VACANCY (1071552 hits)
  10. Sayonara (1065609 hits)
  11. weeeeep (1026954 hits)
  12. Obama Fofana (993893 hits)
  13. Yankees! (979697 hits)
  14. Tom (923202 hits)
  15. THE MIGHTY APOLLO (847621 hits)
  16. I Got A Life So I Don't Ha... (833598 hits)
  17. ++TIGER++ ++LILLY++ (815369 hits)
  18. Sorrell (805583 hits)
  19. Wally (797892 hits)
  20. RIP™ (778871 hits)
  21. Tremble, hetero swine! (760373 hits)
  22. Phallic_Cymbals (751918 hits)
  23. RON PAUL 2008! (749269 hits)
  24. HIDDEN101 (741484 hits)
  25. Will Zone (728033 hits)
  26. T then ToM (719901 hits)
  27. User Blocked (714453 hits)
  28. iddqd (701020 hits)
  29. kaos-king (687759 hits)
  30. kaos-king (670209 hits)
Click here to return to the list of messages.

How I Won the Cold War OR The Incredible Story of a True JAG Warrior (1067 hits)

Category: None

Rating: 2 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by CATAL (View user info) at 2004-06-02 12:31:47 EDT


Part One: ROTC, Chapter One: The Draft


The following is true. These are the memoirs of my father, a Major in the US Army, and his experiences as a JAG officer during the Cold War. These stories are written in the first person for sake of convenience.


*****


When I was 17 and entering my freshman year of college at Georgetown University, while the United States was still involved in Viet Nam, the Student Deferment from the Military Draft was finally brought to an end. Before then, any student enrolled in college was allowed to complete their college education before being subject to the Draft. Of course there were other exemptions from the Draft, such as being married and having children. I was not exempt from the draft, though.

The Student Deferment was thought to be unfair to families that could not afford to pat for their children to go to college, so my class would be among the first to be drafted into the United States Military.

What they would do is get two big drums. One drum would contained the numbers 1 through 365; the other would contain dates from January 1st through December 31st. So somebody would draw a date out of one drum and a number out of the other and if you were born on that date then you would be assigned your Draft number according to the number that was drawn. For example, when my birthday was drawn, December 18th, I was assigned the Draft number 13.

Then when they would begin to draft people, they would go through the number ones first, and then continue on in increasing order. The previous year, they had gotten up to about number 125, so my drawing of number 13 pretty much assured the fact that I was going to be drafted.

Now I knew a guy who attended the Draft lottery. Many reporters and few kids were there. One reporter approached him, and asked why he was there. He simply responded that he just wanted to know what his draft number was. Now in the middle of their conversation, his birthday was drawn, so he told the reporter so and they both waited to hear his draft number. As chance would have it, it was number 1.

Now this reporter was thinking that he had a big scoop, and apparently so did every other reporter in the room, so a sudden flock of reporters crowded around him. What the reporters did not know, and few people do, is that a second lottery was drawn for each number. This went alphabetically by last name. In one drum would be letters A though Z and in the other drum would be numbers 1 through 26. Now my friend was named Terry Barnich. As luck (or misfortune if you prefer) would have it, the number 1 letter happened to be B. After the number one letter they went to the next letter in your name. He was Barnich. B, the number one letter, and then A. Terry Barnich might have been the first to be drafted.

But I digress.

Now at this time, I was not in ROTC (R Officer Training C). I was thinking, 'Well, there's no way around it, I am going to be drafted. I might as well be an officer, though.' So I went down to the ROTC department to see if I could apply late, because it had already been going on for a month. In order to apply late, I had to be interviewed by a Colonel and give my reasons for applying late. I fed him some bullshit about my father being at Pearl Harbor and my older brother being a Captain in Germany at the time (both of which were true).

About 50 people applied to get into ROTC after the Draft, they accepted two: myself and Terry Barnich. So we were protected from the Draft. Now the irony of all this is, that they never actually drafted anyone into the military. I stayed in ROTC for two years and once they ended the Draft, I got out of ROTC.

All of this has just been a preamble, though; just an introduction into how I became involved in the military and the resulting shenanigans that ensued.


Submit to Digg Submit to StumbleUpon

User Reviews


Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2005-01-12 22:57:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

yay for jag

Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-06-03 14:45:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Chapter Two: http://www.ubersite.com/m/34928

Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-06-02 22:38:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Nicely told. Looking forward to the next post.

Submitted by GhostWriter (user info) at 2004-06-02 20:06:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Very nice. Much more interesting than most series posts because this one is a true story. Keep the stories rollin'.

Submitted by jake_plummer (user info) at 2004-06-02 14:22:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Gravy Train

Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-06-02 13:56:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I am indeed his son, and this was entirely true as will be the following stories. These are all stories he often told myself and my brothers repeatedly over the years.

I finally decided to write them down for him as I get refresher stories from him. I did know the acronym, I just forgot it at the time I was writing it.

I should have proofread it though, as I read through it just now, it did indeed kill the flow.


Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-06-02 13:53:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

If you are the man's son, you should know the acronym, really.

I was in JROTC in high school and it's not exactly tough to memorize.

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-06-02 13:51:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Actually, the not-konwing the acronym lends the story more believability that it is being told by the man's son and makes it more realistic.

Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-06-02 13:48:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Just make sure you proof-read the next one and change some of the errors. It kills the flow, but this was good anyway.

Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-06-02 13:37:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

oh shit, Bob, I totally forgot to fill that in. God damnit, I forgot what the R and C stood for at the moment I was writing it and toally forgot to check what it stood for. God damnit, it taints the whole thing! The next one should be up tomorrow.

Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-06-02 13:33:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

concise and interesting so far

Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-06-02 13:31:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Usually, I hate series posts.

But this one has lots o' promise.

Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-06-02 13:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Reserve
Officers
Training
Course

Give us more!

Submitted by Anjie (user info) at 2004-06-02 13:01:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Keep it coming - can't wait...

Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-06-02 12:42:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Ooo, I can't wait to find out what happens.


Television -- teacher, mother, secret lover!

-- Homer Simpson
Treehouse of Horror V