The Cactus Man Chronicles Ep.1 (330 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.14 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Don'tEmailMe@don'temailme.com (View user info) at 2004-06-03 19:25:17 EDT
Saturday, April 12, 1992: A cardboard box somewhere in California.
I sit here in my dusty box, a middle aged balding man. I sit here pondering the meaning to all those dirty underpants. I wonder:
"Will I go to the carnival tomorrow? Or no?"
Life is ever so complicated.
I sit here in my dusty box, staring out the "windows" into a blank abyss I have come to call home. But there IS meaning to my life. There IS a goal hidden inside of the very things I do.
I must find it.
WANNANNANNANNA!!!
Somethings happening...
WANNANNANNANNA!!!
I feel... different... somethings...
WANNANNANNANNA!!!
Making...
WANNANNANNANNA!!!
Me mad....
WANNANNANNANNA!!!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!"
WANNANNANNANNANNANNANNANNANNA!!!!!!!!!
I, am Cactus Man.
------------------------------------------------------------
Saturday, April 12, 1992: Precisely one minute(s) later.
I am still Cactus Man.
It all started when I was a child, this... this thing indside of me. This... Cactus. There was a terrible accident, something so tragic it will take me another episode to explain so I can leave you with a major fucking cliffhanger.
WHO IS CACTUS MAN?
WHAT MADE HIM A CACTUS?
IS HE REALLY A CACTUS?
REALLY?
ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS... AND MORE!! IN EPISODE 2 OF..
THE CACTUS MAN CHRONICLES!!! DOO DOO DOOOOO!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by LottaPasta123 (user info) at 2004-06-03 19:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If I were on AIM I would insert a smiley and the occasional "lol" but I'm not, so I won't, but the LottaPasta Master thanks you kindly
Submitted by digsy (user info) at 2004-06-03 19:48:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It was a compliment to the pulling power of cactus man!
Submitted by LottaPasta123 (user info) at 2004-06-03 19:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My intellecutal capacity won't allow me to register that properly as a comment or insult, so I think I'll just smile and nod my head profusely until my heart bursts.
Submitted by digsy (user info) at 2004-06-03 19:45:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I googled actually, but that would be scary. There was a bloke on TV the other week who could tell you what day any date was. ANY DATE. Through some freaky visualisation system. They asked him to name some date in like 1832 and he got it right. He's the sorry sick bastard.
Bet he doesn't pull the birds like cactus man however.
Submitted by LottaPasta123 (user info) at 2004-06-03 19:41:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My God on the earth almighty, how the fuck could you know that you sorry, sick, bastard?!
:)
Submitted by digsy (user info) at 2004-06-03 19:38:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Coincedentally, April 12th, 1992 was a sunday. I know I'm sad, but Jesus I'm bored.
Submitted by digsy (user info) at 2004-06-03 19:36:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked the quirky randomness. And something about a cactus man just amuses me. Har har.
Submitted by LottaPasta123 (user info) at 2004-06-03 19:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
For all you outs there, this isn't really meant to be "good." If anything, I know it's pretty bad, but rate accordingly, because this is just a setup. The story will definitely pick up.
Submitted by digsy (user info) at 2004-06-03 19:30:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Cue 70s theme tune involving xylophones
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-03 19:29:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
KICK ASS!!!!!!!!
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-06-03 19:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Mmmmmmmkay?