The Hazards of Work (730 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Disektor <random.address.com> (View user info) at 2004-06-04 02:26:07 EDT
About two weeks ago I was at work perfecting the art of cutting potatos. An exciting and interesting task.
Time was speeding along like a snail stuck in glue when I noticed a flock of teenage girls appear at the counter. I perked up.
I smiled at them, they smiled back. One in particular was giving me the eye so it was up to me to play hard to get. I casually went back to cutting potatos while shooting a glance toward them every once in awhile. This went on for about 20 seconds when one of the girls got a shocked look on her face. She passed out. Now I started to wonder what was going on, I'm not good looking enough to cause a girl to pass out, or am I? No, I'm not.
Of course her passing out attracted the interests of the other customers, and they too were overcome by looks of shock. I raised my hands where I happened to notice a spot.. no, a pool of blood that was flowing down my arm. I looked up and noticed part of my middle finger on my left hand was missing. Shit. I looked towards the bucket holding the potato and there, floating in the water was my finger.
The weird thing was I couldn't feel anything, I guess I was in shock. I looked at my bloody nub of a finger, and like any self-respecting 18 year old would do, I shook it all around and started pointing it at people. Apparently they didn't find it as funny as I did. I got a few dirty looks, and a lot of profanity directed towards me.
I started to feel a bit woozy at this point, so I meandered on over to the potato bowl, retrieved my finger, and used my detached appendage to dial an ambulance.
By now many of you are probably thinking "bullshit, no one would so something as cool as that."
Well, you'd be right. I actually cried like a little girl before passing out on the floor. They did manage to attach my finger and oh so luckily for me the security cameras at work happened to catch the whole incident. They sent me a copy of the tape with the label "1/500" on it. Bastards.
User Reviews
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-06-04 06:04:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny.
Are you my mate Dill? He's hacked off more parts of his finger than, well i don't know, but it's a lot.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-06-04 05:48:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I laughed. Loudly enough to wake up my sleeping colleague. Just be glad the blood wasn't running down your leg, I'd hate to see a deep-fried manhood in with my fries.
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-06-04 04:06:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Indeed.. I need to work on tying things together better.
Well thanks for the input, I'll try something a little different on my next post.
Submitted by SausageKing (user info) at 2004-06-04 03:59:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This is actually pretty funny. It just requires some better writing and it would be a fucking classic. Spouting blood is fun.
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-06-04 03:18:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Review this Ubercunts. I don't care if it is 1:30 or 2:30 in the morning.