The Horn (527 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.5 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DancingHobo (View user info) at 2004-06-05 18:30:15 EDT
I live in the suburbs, and not the cool part of the suburbs where everyone has 2.5 kids. No, I'm stuck in the part where the elderly flock to. The elderly aren't my major problem however. Sure they give me the evil eye when the grass gets over a foot(I'll mow it tomorrow Dorothy). My anger doesn't come from them however, it comes from one child. The couple who lives a few houses down the road has 5 children ranging from ages 5-20. The 4 elder children don't give me any problems, but the youngest one, he may just be the spawn Lucifer.
The child I am speaking of has downs. I don't hate him for that however. He is just learning how to ride a bike, and the parents thought it would be a good idea to get him a bike horn to go along with his new bicycle. This horn is the root of the problem. If you know children, you know they love to make noise. This combines with their love of grabbing things to make the bike horn an insanity machine.
There is no way to stop this madness. I am faced with a choice between listening to the horn 24/7, or closing the windows, and dying of heat stroke.
"Why not turn the AC on Dancinghobo?" you ask. I am not one of the privilegded enough to own one.
"No AC? How do you live?" A sad misrable life. I digress.
I am forced to keep the window opened and listen to the madness. Each honk takes something away from my sanity, and adds to my rage. Today I decided to end the madness. I ran across the street and hid in the neighbor's bush. I waited for the boy to round the corner. The sound of the horn increasing in volume. The kid turned, barely missing a tree which would have made my job much easier. As the child neared I readied myself. I sprinted from behind the bushes at the unknowing boy. When he finally noticed me he tried to turn, but it was too late. I executed a Ray Lewis like tackle on the kid, knocking him into the road. He hit the ground, lying limp with blood gushing out of his head. I ripped the horn off his now broken bike and ran off.
That'll teach the little fucker.
User Reviews
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-06-06 13:22:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Why don't you just sneak out and night and remove the horn?
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-05 21:23:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Uh... The words just left me.
Submitted by hitoshi (user info) at 2004-06-05 19:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You get one point for making fun of retards, -2 for crappy drawing, plus 3 for some humour. and minus one for no monkeys.
Submitted by DancingHobo (user info) at 2004-06-05 18:39:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn, good thing I didn't have any money to bet. At least Smarty didn't win.
It's not true, but I've played it through my head hundreds of times.
Submitted by sixmilliondots (user info) at 2004-06-05 18:35:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
is this for real?
Submitted by DancingHobo (user info) at 2004-06-05 18:33:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
GO MASTER DAVID WOO!!!