Emotion, Men and Women (1539 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.83 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Alfa Veloce (View user info) at 2004-06-06 16:47:50 EDT
Ok so here I am after yet another frustrating, maddening, rage-filled, finger flippin', day of dealing with women. I have come to the conclusion that the popular conceptions of the differences between men and women are dead friggin wrong!
It has long been a long held belief that men have a hard time expressing and dealing with their emotions. I am hear to challenge that. I can be so bold because I am right damn it and I dare you to say otherwise! Lets take a simple yet nuanced emotion like anger.
You see when men get angry we fly off the handle, yelling, screaming, and breaking things like bones, cars, doors, walls, and expensive handmade frilly things that should never have been brought into our presence in the first place. Then we settle down, deal with it and then things are done. There is no second guessing, no interpretation, no de-coding of CIA proportions. Just plain, simple, and uncomplicated anger. When we get pissed at our friend we let them know...more or less. This message may be transmitted in a number of ways but they all carry the same message, with the same connotation, denotation, and meaning. These avenues of transmission can be a quick jab, roundhouse, uppercut, etc. However those are reserved only for extreme cases of offense like dissing a girlfriend/wife, or just the offending party being a general asshole. In most cases, which we regard as minor cases, we settle thing with a quick, "dude that wasn't cool," or "what the F@#$@k?" or less mainstream but still classic, " If you ever do that to me again I'll (insert inane, non-committal, non serious threat of life here)." There are even some cases where the offending party either refuses to concede committing an offense or repeats the offense. In these cases things get very simple. We simply cut off ties with the person who has pissed us off o the point of no return. There is no conversation no nothing just a simple, surgical severing off ties. If there is to be reconciliation both parties usually just have a beer admit faults, leer lecherously at women, making obscene comments that we would never repeat to other people and if not for the alcohol would be loathe to make and then friendship would resume with no other strings. There is no archiving of the offense for later use, no subtle hinting that past grievances, and no mind games.
Then we have the opposite sex. The sex that beguiles us. The sex that frustrates us. The sex the excites us, frightens us, enrages us, infatuates us, invades our every other thought, makes us happy, makes us sad, makes us envious, makes us act, look , and feel like bumbling, incompent, socially inept, and stupid fools. All the while holding the power to make us feel like we are the greatest person ever to take stride upon the earth, and infinitely happy and content. Okay enough about the chicks and back to the issue.
Women have long been credited as better with emotions than me, but in my experience that ain't the case. From mothers to wives and every type of man-woman relationship in between, there are hurdles, and "bumps in the road" that are the approximate size, height, and about as tough to overcome and navigate as the White Cliffs of Dover, Everest, the Sahara in peak summer, and the Pacific in a canoe combined. Thus a man who has had a successful relationship with a woman, meaning having a meaningful relationship for more than 18 years that has been relatively calm, should be awarded more praise and admiration than Sir. Edmund Hilary and Tensing Norgay, and most certainly Magellan. The reasons for this are simple.
Back to our example of anger. When women are angry the person they are angry with has to figure it out. Their anger is a code and you don't know if they really angry at you or at some one else. This is because they express their discontent in very different ways. They don't lash out, at least not immediately. No, their wrath is slow and well fueled, ours is fast and loses steam quickly. Their anger utilizes many other emotions. As if the anger wasn't hard enough to deal with women also employ the guilt. This is a favorite weapon of the mothers. The guilt usually follows the anger and often times even if the offending party is in the right, they end up giving up or conceding even though they have no reason to do so. If guilt was a weapon of mass destruction the Prez. would have bombed every women into the stone age.
When a woman is angry she hides it. And though we try hard not to, nine times out of ten we stumble upon it like a wayward soldier in a minefield. Though we may not lose limbs or our lives we will most likely lose any hope of affection let alone sex, and that can feel like losing an arm or leg. Women will talk to everyone except the person they are pissed at. Instead the mope, and act like we should know exactly what has set them off and God help us if we ask what's wrong. Because if by chance we are the ones who have set them off we will be faced an explosion the like of which only the poor souls of Hiroshima and Nagasaki circa 1945 have experienced.
You'll see that a woman's scorn is so complex, mysterious, and frustrating that I cannot fully explain it. So I say to my fellow men, "Grab a bottle and don't let go!" Let me conclude with a plea to the women: Let us know what's wrong and hear us out when we try to explain. Cut us some slack once in a while and if you're mad at someone don't take it out on us and if it is us you're ticked at give us a bottle and crash helmet first and then start yelling.
User Reviews
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2004-06-25 23:48:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you for pointing out this article to me. It took me a long time to learn to let my hubby vent when pissed, and also to stay the hell out of the way. Now I consider this a good thing, because once he gets over it, it's over. You've made excellent points here.
I think women drag it out because we are taught early on that it is not okay to be blunt, to express our displeasure or be negative. For instance, in my family, my Dad had a saying which he frequently said to me or my Mom: "Don't rock the boat." 'Nother words, do not go against my authority. I can honestly say I have never seen my Mom blow up at him. Whenever he'd do something that pissed her off, she'd take it out on me by being grumpy the rest of the day. Consequently, due to the chain of command, I'd not talk back to her, but go outside and kick the dog or something. If I'd had a little brother or sister, they would have felt my wrath.
I was also informed, not in words but through example, that being straight up about my feelings was unladylike. Ditto stomping, running, speaking loudly.
Sometimes we just don't know how to get it all over with, so we hold it inside and use it as a tool, or go way overboard because we never learned to control anger, having never been allowed to experience it fully. To this day, I remain nonconfrontational.
Regards,
Ferretnose
Submitted by Alfa_Veloce (user info) at 2004-06-11 01:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nope not married.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-09 09:20:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bookmarked this the other day because it looked really good, (even though there were MAJOR warnings flashing). AND..... *drum roll* I was right!
Good stuff. Are you married? If not, you could/should be. *wink*
Submitted by joeyi (user info) at 2004-06-07 16:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-07 16:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Since you now have all of the answers we have to change all of
the quesitons.
Thanks for the extra work. like ironing, cooking and constant blow jobs wasn't enough!!
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2004-06-06 18:00:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree on the "Well written."
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-06-06 17:55:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written.
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2004-06-06 17:49:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-06-06 17:32:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Werd.
Submitted by Domochevsky (user info) at 2004-06-06 17:23:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/32362
Chaos theory, man. Pure chaos.
Submitted by Neptune222 (user info) at 2004-06-06 17:02:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent breakdown of a woman. Bitches are crazy, however, like all stereotypes there are exceptions. My girl was pised off about something last night, she told me to go out and party with my friends, then when I came back I got all the sex I could handle. Also, you can never get rid of anything you did in the past with women. You'll get in an argument and she'll bring up something that happened like 5 years ago and somehow relate it with why you think her cooking sucks.
Submitted by Dufflady (user info) at 2004-06-06 17:01:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The best you can hope for is the bottle and the helmet. I'm just not capable of dealing with my anger in any reasonable way. And it's just too damn fun witholding sex.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-06-06 16:55:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"The sex that beguiles us. The sex that frustrates us. The sex the excites us, frightens us, enrages us, infatuates us, invades our every other thought, makes us happy, makes us sad, makes us envious, makes us act, look , and feel like bumbling, incompent, socially inept, and stupid fools. All the while holding the power to make us feel like we are the greatest person ever to take stride upon the earth, and infinitely happy and content. "
God, all that power I never knew we had, and no man to use it on!