A fly went bye (1923 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.37 on 70 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by tshia (View user info) at 2004-06-07 22:56:25 EDT
There once was a creature small and agile
6 legs 2 wings all small and fragile
Around a field it flew in a widening gyre
Fast and fleet was the nimble flyer
It passed through a grove of sunflower trees
Quite pleased by their flowery lees
In one awful instant there was an awful collision
Everything happened before it could make a decision
The poor thing had struck a silken strand
Suspended between flowers, hovering over land
Out came the black wife of the dead
The trapped airman was filled with dread
She set her long thin legs over both his side
Mouth wide open she begged to be his bride
Spewed forth from her body an ejaculate thick and white
It caught him he couldn't escape try as he might
Her legs bowed she leaned in for the kiss
Filling his body was the antithesis of bliss
She tore from his body organs and gore
Till finally he could feel no more
User Reviews
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2004-07-20 02:12:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it was good.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-07-20 02:05:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree with those who commented on the rhythm and meter being off. I probably would have liked this better if it were a story and not a poem.
Despite that, it's still good.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-07-20 01:49:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:11:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
OHH! Now I get it. The guy fly's sperm is so sticky that when he pulls his fly penis out of her fly vagina it drags all the contents of her guts out and she all shits and barfs everywhere. I gotcha! That's pretty gross Tshia.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA. Tom, you bitch.
Submitted by satchel (user info) at 2004-06-22 13:53:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
awful. just fucking awful.
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-06-10 16:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope you are joking Lojope, he has maybe one post that deserves a positive ranking (http://www.ubersite.com/m/33096) his best post is that picture of the towel dog, "best ever posted on Uber"? Hardly. He is a vile rank talentless half wit who has the sole mission of saying mildly offensive things in a public forum.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-10 16:32:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, shitfuck is a very talented writer when he wants to be. Go through his old posts, there are two or three that are some of the best ever posted on Uber.
He posts what he usually does to get a rise out of people.
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-06-10 16:17:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shitfuck whatever happened to ignoring me? Can you get started on that now? I don't care if I am a good writer or a bad writer, sometimes I like to write and so I will continue to do so, I have no delusions about my skills as a writer.
Speaking of people who suck at writing do you think you could try using coherent sentances once in a while? Honestly all you appear able to do is mash out long unoriginal and uninspired strands of insults "Fucking snaggle toothed, four eyed, fuck". Let me give you hint using the word more often does not make you more offensive or clever.
If you have not noticed the only people who like you are users who are small immature children (convicted_child_rapist). You post only the most offensive thing you can think of and pretend it makes you a good "edgy" writer. Guess what dipshit? You are not.
Submitted by convicted_child_rapist (user info) at 2004-06-10 12:04:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This girl is crying out for me to rape her in the asshole.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-06-10 12:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's funny is that you think you have talent.
But you don't.
Join the club of about a hundred or so other users that suck my motherfucking cock. You fucking talentless jerk stream.
I bet you refuse to shave your pussy and your asshole is hairy. Fucking snaggle toothed, four eyed, fuck.
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-06-10 05:19:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
conrad I apolgize but it honestly seems like you are trying to insult me by continually suggesting the same thing. Believe me when I say that if I could edit this post I would of course include punctuation, I would also rework the wording to make it sound nicer to the ear. I understand and even agree with most of your complaints but I can't do anything about them. Earlier I was trying to explain what I had done since I assume you realize I am powerless to edit this after it has been posted
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-06-10 05:16:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shitfuck I have never been happier than when I read that you avoid my posts. Please do so, if I never read anything written by you or about you (excluding obituaries) then I would weep for joy. You are the most vile disgusting peice of shit I have ever had the misfortune of encountering, you are a dim witted attention whore, your talents at writing are virtually nonexistant, the fact that you dislike this post exonarates it in my eyes forever.
If a magic genie came to me and said he would grant me any wish with the only condition being that he would grant you whatever I wished for 2 fold I would wish that my life expectancy was cut in half. I sincerely hate you with every fiber of my being, I am disgusted that other people actually tolerate your pathetic attempts at getting noticed. You sicken me to my core.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-06-09 12:03:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Goddamn, you are one stupid fucking bitch.
I don't mind poetry, but this ain't poetry, it's trivial shit.
In fact, most of your posts are a fucking joke. Don't bother with a comeback, I won't be reading any of your useless shit ever again--
I avoid your posts like the plaugue.
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-06-09 09:40:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am not trying to insult you, just to point out that SOME stanzas are wanting in terms of cadence - I'm sorry if it came across otherwise. My view is that this could be quite good if the stanzas that seem jarring to I, and others, were reworked, but you will not accept the critcism for which you asked. Even a mere apostrophe in the line which I mentioned would improve matters, but that's it for me.
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2004-06-09 03:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn, that's a misquote. Sorry.
"Dragonfly in a tidal wave..."
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2004-06-09 03:53:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"Dragonfly on the tidal wave..."
I see where Lojope is coming from. The rhythm seems to change with each stanza, making it quite hard to read in places, and some of the descriptions do seem a little forced. That said, this is still rated higher than when I posted lyrics so I can't say it's that bad.
Your transition from happy to grotesque works well, but the way you get there could be refined a little.
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-06-09 03:36:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lojope I appreciate you're responce but as Insanethemind pointed out and as I myself wrote the purpose of this poem was to combine things which to me are complete opposites. For example I thought the rhyming made the poem sound childish and simple so I combined it with an ideas I think are complex. Namely death and murder.
I also tried to keep my diction and tone light and cheery, I think "sunflower trees" and "flowery lees" create images which are pleasent and happy. I am amused by thinking of a fly hiding behind flowers and the size of the flowers relative to the fly, so I combined what I thought was the light cheery atmosphere with the capture and murder of the the insect.
I can't really refute your complaint that you don't think the poem sounds nice when read aloud, as I mentioned to conrad earlier I believe it is in partly a matter of personal cadence. I admit in some places I used a somewhat arcane vocabulary but this was not to make myself sound smart, rather it was because I was trying to think of how to complete my rhyme scheme without diluting the basic plot.
To conrad more specifically; I'm growing weary of your feeble attempts at insulting me conrad. I am not trying to prove that this is the best thing ever writen, I have never tried to prove it was even good, I have expressed this to you before yet you seem insistent on ignoring what I have written.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-08 12:06:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah well, to each his own, Insane. :o) I didn't like it.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-06-08 11:59:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-08 10:40:48 (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope you don't take this as cruel, because I am not meaning it that way.
But...
To me, this poem reads like a third grader with a thesaurus wrote it. The idea is very trivial and the words are very big
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To the contrary, Lojope, the things you have listed above are exactly what caught my idea about this poem. It flows smoothly, the words aren't 'big', they are everyday English grammar.
He's writing about the normal, the mundane, but obviously putting a little imagination into it, much like a child would, except his usage of grammar is a little better.
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-06-08 11:47:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
One would indeed need a unique sense of cadence to think this a stanza pleasing to the ear:
Spewed forth from her body an ejaculate thick and white
It caught him he couldn't escape try as he might
Unpleasant, if only for the clumsy, run-on effect of the second sentence. Still, whatever; you're clearly convinced that this is the best thing since "Le Bateaux Ivre", and probably "The Inferno" too, so I'll leave it at that.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-08 10:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope you don't take this as cruel, because I am not meaning it that way.
But...
To me, this poem reads like a third grader with a thesaurus wrote it. The idea is very trivial and the words are very big. It doesn't fit together well.
Not only that, but the size of the words make the poem worse because they screw up the rhythm. You would have been better off using less flowery language, and making the lines sound nice as a whole. Reading this out loud makes me feel like I am stuttering and stumbling.
(And no, before you are a smart ass, it's not because I don't understand or can't pronounce the words, it's because they don't fit together well.)
Basically, it comes off not as if you are trying to create an attractive sounding work of literary art, but more as if you are just blabbing and trying to sound intelligent.
If you are smart, you don't have to force it down the reader's throat.
Submitted by Dragon (user info) at 2004-06-08 06:13:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Line after line,
round after round,
empty shells fall to the ground.
-KMFDM
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-06-08 05:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
How the fook can anyone not understand it?
It's hardly cryptic.
Didn't think it was that great though. But not that bad..
My work mate, clicking fingers to his indie music, is a fat nobber.
Submitted by digsy (user info) at 2004-06-08 02:42:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/35253
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-06-08 02:36:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
conrad
I meant to respond to your critique on my the literary merits of my poem. First let me say I found it quite refreshing, even if misled. I admit my poem did not have a consistent metre, the syllables varied wildly from line to line.
What is important though is that not all poems follow the same rules of formations, I wrote mine with the constraint that it followed the rhyme scheme AA BB and so that it sounded pleasent when I read it aloud. Granted everyone has a unique cadence, but when I read the poem to myself it sounded light and whimsical while at the same time, I found this especially interesting as the plot was about the death of a bug.
Tom
I can't tell if you're joking or not
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-06-08 02:20:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh for God's sake, the thing's perfectly bloody comprehensible - there really aren't two ways of reading it, and I think that you, Tom, are taking great pleasure in feigning ignorance of that which is very obvious.
The (main) reasons for which I dislike the thing are shown below, but I cannot fault it for clarity. I do hope that Tshia isn't classing amongst those who "just don't understand it" those who raised concerns of poetic merit, and who couldn't care less about the linearity and comprehensability of the bloody story.
Submitted by SoxSexSax (user info) at 2004-06-08 02:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:10:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry Sox, I'm not female. I think you got that from Shandy's post, I was just messing with him."
That's cool...I'd always assumed you were male until you posted three times that you were female. :-)
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-08 02:02:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, here's what I really think. It's a pretty good idea for a poem. It was, however, hard to grasp. You made it so that people just couldn't understand it. In fact, refer back to what Method said originally before you went ape on him for the criticism that you so gleefully asked for.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:49:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was really good. The only word I didnt like, that didn't flow, was antithesis.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:44:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i was talking about other people's reviews on this post.
nothing to do with you.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:44:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This shit will get on most heated.
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:40:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I realize that no one understood it Tom, and that is the reason for my numerous complaints. I also tend to think that the problem is on the end of the people who do not understand. Speaking of people who don't understand I'm afraid I don't understand your review Donitsu2002 unless you meant for that +2 to be a -2, then it would make sense.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:39:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
sorry but......no.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not a Poetry expert, but i do have quite the gift in "douchebagocity" i can tell a douchebag from posts away...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:30:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Or was it "Opposites attract" by Paula Abdul. I honestly can't remember.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:29:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I blew my first load watching the discovery channel. Those dung beetles and the way they handles that poo was just such a turn on.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:29:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The first time I ever masturbated was to the music video for "Walk like an Egyptian" by the Bangles. Unfortunately, there were no spiders or flies in it. Insensitive bastards.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:27:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Charlottes Web gave me wood
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Heh, Tshia, nobody understood your plot.
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:23:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well then let me explain it Tom, a fly is flying by some flowers (flowers!!! what the fuck?! Goth alert) and gets caught in a spider web. The spider, a black widow, kills and eats the fly. it rhymes.
I should have known that you, a 16 year old boy, wouldn't understand such a complicated plot and would therefore decide it was perverted.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well YOU SAID EJACULANTS. I'm a 16 year old boy. What do you expect me to think?
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:18:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tom
I am not mad, and for the last time it is not a perverted poem, I understand you have difficulty realizing what it is about, maybe they will study poetry next year in 8th grade and then you will learn how to better understand this.
Spiral_Abraxis
Just remember, if you don't understand something you can always attribute it to a random group of people with similar characteristics.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:15:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
look at me i can write poems too and then wear all black and hang out with my other gothic friends and cry about the conformist government and how they suck but we just sit around all day and smoke pot and get drunk and have sex with animals we are so cool us gothics that write poems are so awesome fuck the preppys that wear abercrombie hot topic is the only way to go you conformists see im hurting your feelings by calling you conformist you all suck now lets go cut ourselves and drink the blood and worship satan we are so cool and you are not
666
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:13:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, in all seriousness, if you're going to write a perverted poem:
A) Make sure people can understand it
B) Make sure you aren't denying it later and
C) Don't get mad when people talk about it
Sheesh.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:11:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Woa, you mean a spider is boning the fly? Christ you sick sick little person.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:11:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OHH! Now I get it. The guy fly's sperm is so sticky that when he pulls his fly penis out of her fly vagina it drags all the contents of her guts out and she all shits and barfs everywhere. I gotcha! That's pretty gross Tshia.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:10:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry Sox, I'm not female. I think you got that from Shandy's post, I was just messing with him.
If I were female, I would be staring at my tits in the mirror for hours instead of replying to this god awful piece of trash.
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
maybe another minus 2 would help you understand?
First of all the "she" is the spider, the black widow, the "black wife of the dead" and not another fly. I'll leave you to figure out the rest, but I'll give you a clue, why would a spider standing near a fly trapped in its web open up it's mouth? It has to do with the phrase "wife of the dead"
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:08:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
See Spot run..
See Dick, dick Jane.
*burp*
They're right, there are a couple lines that don't gel together very well.
But I'm no fucking Robert Frost either. Thank you and come again.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:06:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Mouth wide open she begged to be his bride
Ok, so the one fly is offering the other fly oral sex? I don't get it.
Submitted by SoxSexSax (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:05:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I believe Method insits on his persistant childish ranking because he has been so wounded in our somewhat less than stunning duel of wits."
I think you'll find that
A) Method is female
B) Method is a far more respected user than you.
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tom you stupid fuck let me put it this way. Ejaculate does not mean cum. Please just go and imagine other Uberusers fighting
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-08 01:00:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Tshia, let me put it this way. If you talk about cum and flies, someone is going to get grossed out.
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-06-08 00:57:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I believe Method insits on his persistant childish ranking because he has been so wounded in our somewhat less than stunning duel of wits. He has a point though Matt, his winning, poorly articulated, reviews are literaly overflowing with constructive critisim, like say his last review a responce to you. You should no better than to respond to the almighty Method without being addressed though Matt. Shame on you.
"I am also very offended that you believe my review had anything to do with gender discourse" Right, as you say it had to do with my "atrocious use of sexual terminology". Which is completely different from gender right? Maybe not. At any rate what sexual terminology did I use pray tell? I sincerely hope, for your sake, you are not refering to the word ejaculate as being sexual in its denotation. It is most assuredly not.
I do not claim to be an expert on poetry and I did not quite spend hours of effort devolping the characters in this poem. It is not meant to be a ground breaking epic, I like rhyming and I have never read a poem about a fly. Therefore I wrote about a fly, if it dead not fulfill your insaitiable hunger for new, innovative poetry then I apologize.
Lastly telling me to choke on my own vomit, responding to other people, and the ilk are far from constructive. Unlikely as it may be I do sincerely hope you are banned for no other reason than anything that inconveniances you would bring me pleasure.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-08 00:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No one asked you, Matt. AJ got banned because he was repeatedly spamming posts with -2's and no constructive criticism. If I'm going to take my time and write out a review like the one I just did, you're damn skippy there's gonna be a fat -2 to go along with it.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-06-08 00:40:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Method - Ok, but you can stop anytime now with the -2s. One is enough to prove your point. This is the exact reason AJ was banned.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-08 00:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I am also very offended that you believe my review had anything to do with gender discourse. It was an allusion to your atrocious use of sexual terminology to describe the suffering that the protagonist of your "poem" was going through.
Your boorish use of the standard AA BB form of poetry leaves much to be desired, and is honestly neither ground breaking nor thought provoking. It tends to leave the reader feeling like he or she was robbed out of an experience that could have been much more fulfilling.
Your personification of the spider and the fly - "black wife of the dead" and "trapped airman" were predictable and boring, making me feel as if you put absolutely zero effort into developing their characters. This is a real turn off.
Yes, it is possible to develop a character in such a small work of literature. There have been writers that have spoken volumes through a few words. You, unfortunately, are not one of them.
Please, before you go around calling people like myself lackwits, learn how to spell, learn how to properly argue your case, and learn how to write decent fucking poetry.
In short, I did not enjoy this, and I hope you choke to death on your own vomit.
Submitted by SoxSexSax (user info) at 2004-06-08 00:21:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Uh, this doesn't exactly scan very well, and you have no real metric or rhythm. For example:
"Quite pleased by their flowery lees"
8 syllables "Duh DUH duh duh DUH duh duh"
"Everything happened before it could make a decision"
15 syllables, and I'm not even going to bother to show you the difference in emphasis points for this one...it doesn't even nearly fit.
"Filling his body was the antithesis of bliss"
13 syllables. Need I go on giving you examples?
Being able to make two sentences rhyme does not make poetry. I can forgive a couple of minor gratuitous twistings of the language, and I can forgive a couple of slightly out of time lines. But not to this extent, I'm afraid.
Please take this as constructive criticism, as this is the spirit in which it is intended.
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-06-08 00:07:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you really expect minute deconstruction on Ubersite? I personally didn't like it because I found that your unwillingness to stick to a set metre when the overall structure is the basic one of rhyming couplets to lend the thing a halting, laboured quality. Furthermore, I found the rhyme of certain couplets (the first, for instance) to be rather contrived and awkward. For me, these two factors combine to give the impression of this being an early draft rather than a finished piece, and make it difficult for me to enjoy it in its present form. It appears already that your ego permits nothing but illiteracy on the part of those who would criticize, so to bother with anything other than a line or two of criticism would be rather futile, no?
You should be grateful: I've posted poetry on here to be met with little but "-2 I donnt liek peotry" from the various knuckle-draggers. You must have done something right to generate ad hominem attacks.
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-06-08 00:05:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
method as kind and polite as your obnixiously pendantic review was I am going to have to call you a lack wit. Since you replied to my review its obvious you read it, and equally obvious you did not understand it.
I don't care if you give me a minus 2 and I don't care if you dislike my writing. The reason I addressed you was because you were horribly wrong about what you believed I had written. The poem is not meant to be feminist, "This made me want to tuck my penis in between my legs" and it is not written to insult the male gender. Honestly I want to know how you could possibly think that?
My earlier responce was addressing people who misunderstood the poem, or who tried to make themselves sound clever, as if they had interpreted some special meaning, and you are, in my opinion, the epitome of that flaw.
Want to minus 2 me because you dislike my post? Fine. Want to minus 2 me because you dislike me? Fine. Want to minus 2 me because you stupidly misunderstood what I was writing about? Fine. Whatever you want to do is fine by me, in the same vein though if I want to reply to you I will do it as well. So, how about you learn to read and shut the fuck up? Okay? Okay.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-07 23:51:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Stop, you're hurting my feelings.
Honestly, I didn't enjoy this. As has been said a million times before, the ratings system is there for a reason. People -2 me all the time, but I don't bitch about it. Why? Because that individual felt a certain way about my writing. Some things "fly" here, and some things don't. You'll figure that out through trial and error. You will also find out that this site is full of immature, vindictive assholes, and will gleefully take any opportunity to blast your writing. It doesn't mean you should stop, nor should you take it so personally.
I just didn't enjoy this. Take my apologies and my -2 and shut the fuck up.
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-06-07 23:43:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, I'm a sensitive person and if these critisims were made by people intelligent enough to use proper vocabluary or who could employ other liteary tools than nonsensical formations of gibberish I would truly be offended. As is though all I feel only a slight pity for most of those who have reviewed this thus far and a slight irritation as well.
I am not asking that you recognize my literary genius or that you give me anything other than the minus 2 you feel I so deserve but why may I ask is it necessary to attempt to validate your view with some ostensibly witty comment that in reality portrays you as moronic jackass?
Take my dear friend lilbill87 for example, "an orgasmic adventure"? Unless this was read by someone who has some kind of wierd fetish for bugs and sadism I doubt anyone found this "orgasmic" personally though I found you "moronic".
Method, your amazing display of your ability to read and interpret literature has made me quite glad that I will be on your team for the Team Wars debate, assuming it ever begins. Oh, and sense you almost certainly won't be able to tell on your own, I was being sarcastic.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-06-07 23:38:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A lot of fucking effort went into this, so quit bashing on the girl. Fucking dipshits.
Tshia, I think this was an excellent piece. Keep it up.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-07 23:30:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This made me want to tuck my penis in between my legs and go to a Broadway show.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-07 23:27:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The title totally cracked me up.
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-06-07 23:22:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Just not good - satisfactorily concise, I think you'll agree.
Submitted by lilbill87 (user info) at 2004-06-07 23:18:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
orgasmic adventure into the world of a fly.....how...sexy?
Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-06-07 23:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Flak
I like how you deduce my gender and sexual preferance by a rhyming poem about a fly, that is very clever of you. For your information I'm male and straight. Better luck next time though
Genko
I would hate to sound defensive but how exactly is this poem pretentious? Before you try and use a "big" to insult someone I suggest you make sure you know what the word means. For example an adaquate word to describe you is dumbass, I know what that word means and I know it describes you quite accurately.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-06-07 23:05:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
pretentious.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-06-07 23:02:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck?
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2004-06-07 22:59:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That really sucked, you lesbian man-hater.