Illustrated News II: Brawl at the Old Folks Home (1331 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: 1.95 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Habeeb Thomas <cr3do2000.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-06-08 14:58:04 EDT
Illustrated News I: Redneck Shenanigans - http://www.ubersite.com/m/35280
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Elvis: I was dreamin'. Dreamin' my dick was out and I was checkin' to see if that infected bump on the head of it had filled with pus again. If it had, I was gonna name it after my ex-wife Priscilla and bust it by jackin' off. Or I'd like to think that's what I'd do. Dreams let you think like that. Truth was, I hadn't had a hard-on in years.
http://www.polkonline.com/stories/030304/loc_fight001.shtml
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WINTER HAVEN - A brawl at the salad bar at Spring Haven Retirement Community sent three senior citizens to Winter Haven Hospital Sunday.
Administrators say a 62-year-old resident who threw the first punch will leave the senior residence. All participants waived criminal action in the incident. No serious injuries were reported.
"This is the first time in 25 years I've ever heard of something like this happening," said a shaken Jill Andrew, Spring Haven spokeswoman.
According to police, the battle erupted after fellow diners accused the man of foraging among the lettuce leaves on the salad bar. Words were exchanged leading to the ballroom boxing match. Witnesses say the man punched an 86-year-old accuser in the face and bit a 78-year-old resident on the right arm.
The man's 80-plus-year-old mother told police that her son, "only likes a certain kind of lettuce." Others accused him of playing with the salad greens while inspecting the crop. His mom conceded, "that it did appear that he was playing with the food."
She was slightly injured trying to help her son during the struggle, police said.
The lettuce lecture was actually the last straw in a lengthy history of bad blood, Andrew said. At least one resident was injured when he was knocked to the ground by diners fleeing the battleground, according to police.
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Damn yo,
Hate to find out what happens when these old guys get horny....
GO BEARS WOO!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-01-10 15:32:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-08-18 08:52:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH *Inhales* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAH H AH HAH HA HAH HAH AH HA HAH H A THE CANDLES T SHIRT HAHAHHAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-08 19:37:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bring this back, Beeb!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-08-08 18:52:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-08-24 16:32:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Polk Online?
Submitted by ferrisbeuller (user info) at 2004-08-20 12:06:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This news series is great!
I love when old people fight. It amuses me to no end.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-06-11 14:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by WRECKER (user info) at 2004-06-11 14:18:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-06-09 09:51:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to give this another.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-06-09 09:48:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this may be the first +2 I've ever given you...
Submitted by moneyshot (user info) at 2004-06-09 00:13:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking Hillarious! Ruff Ruff landing! Hahahahahahahahahahahah!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-06-08 23:59:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Skullcrusher (user info) at 2004-06-08 18:45:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Always remember to breate in and out. ha ha ha
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-06-08 17:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, so it was funny..
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-06-08 17:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not worthy of +2.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-08 17:03:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kicker of all ass(+2)
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-06-08 16:18:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Habeeb, I think I just might be in love with....
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-06-08 15:55:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd say this is your best post yet.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-08 15:51:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh. I like the posters.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-06-08 15:50:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
holy crap this one was really funny
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-06-08 15:45:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"...and bit a 78-year-old resident on the right arm."
Hilarious.
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-06-08 15:20:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear god..
Submitted by DancingHobo (user info) at 2004-06-08 15:07:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ARM DANDRUFF!
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2004-06-08 15:05:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-08 15:05:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bahahahahah old people rule
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-06-08 15:04:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The old guy on the right made me laugh.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-06-08 15:03:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahhahhahahhahahhahahahahahhahahahahcandlesahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahahaahaha
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-06-08 15:00:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehe.