Where is the love? (a fourth happier uber compilation) (1214 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.73 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (View user info) at 2004-06-10 21:07:36 EDT
And it's that time again.
For those of you who missed parts one, two, and three (http://www.ubersite.com/m/27118 and http://www.ubersite.com/m/29126 and http://www.ubersite.com/m/32193), this collection is about spreading the love around uber, and finding the best plus two's out there. It's a spin on the regular negative two compilations, and is intended to inspire friendly feelings towards your fellow uber users.
Have fun folks, here's the cream of the crop of May plus twos, with a few random ones thrown in there.
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Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-05-28 14:26:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know what it is about you, but whenever I look at your posts I get a hard on.
Then I bounce around the office jerking off and wailing like a baboon, is that normal?
Mom? Where's my calculator?
Vagina.
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Submitted by Jewtoast (user info) at 2004-05-23 08:32:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
.".".".
(` `) _.-=-.
'._.--.-; .-` -' '.
.-'`.o ) \ / .-_.--' `\
`;---) \ ; / / ;' _-_.-' `
`;"` ; \ ; . .' _-' \
( ) | | lawyer/ .-.-' -`
'-.-' \ | .' ` '.-'-\`
/_./\_.|\_\ ; ' .'-'.-.
/ '-._ \` / _;-,
| .-=-.;-._ \ -'-,
\ / `";`-`,-"`)
\ \ '-- `\.\
'. '._ '-- '--'/
`-._ `'----'`;
`"""--.____,/
\\ \
// /`
___// /__
(`(`(---"-`)
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Submitted by JohnGalt41 (user info) at 2004-05-18 19:27:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
....Q: If a girl gets on a train in Chicago, and you get in a train in New York, and both trains travel toward each other at the speed of light, will you get an STD if you shine flashlights at each other?
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Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-05-13 15:43:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Last one
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Egon: My mouth is closed
Peter: Mine is a little bit open
Ray: Mine is totally open
Winston: I'm black!
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Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-05-07 17:01:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oatmeal?
Oatmeal?
Oatmeal?
Oatmeal?
Jalapeno Omelet?
Oatmeal?
Oatmeal?
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Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-05-21 13:40:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
I salute you. Sluts rule. If you get an STD do you get a purple heart? Or do you just wait for something else to turn purple?
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Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-06-03 13:13:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Girls dont poo.
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Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-05-31 12:34:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Bustards
Fatherless children riding the short yellow bus.
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Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-05-23 21:49:42 (#)
Ranking: 1
In the beginning, Ubersite was people complaining about life.
Then, Ubersite became people complaining about Ubersite.
Then, Ubersite became people complaining about people complaining about Ubersite.
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Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-06 23:50:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
This couldnt get any gayer if RuPaul himself had written it
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Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-05-23 11:30:05 (#)
Ranking: 1
"I constantly print out pictures of myself for masturbation purposes."
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Whoa dude, that like violates the laws of masturbational dimensional theory.
If you masturbate to yourself while looking at a picture of yourself, you break the time space continuum
YOU COULD TRAVEL BACK IN TIME
Use your skills wisely
GO RUSH WOO!!
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Submitted by Nigga (user info) at 2004-05-27 18:46:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
white people
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Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-05-25 10:41:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
I got hit in the face with a junebug at 75 miles an hour on a motorcycle.
fuck bugs. bugfuck.
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Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-05-20 13:46:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hidden- "man, i am fuckin' HORNY! "
Where do you live? I have a chainsaw.
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Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-05-16 16:55:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Will you do porno pickters with me?
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Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2004-05-13 19:45:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I like a nice set of balls. You might have a spectacular sense of humor, a wealth of fascinating knowledge and a warm smile, but if you don't have a huge honking pair of perfectly symmetrical, meticulously groomed, powder-fresh plums, your ass is out the door. I think we can all agree, every girl digs a great set of gonads.
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Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-05-11 00:44:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHAHAHAHA Internet rebels.
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Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-05-19 05:44:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
First you have to seduce your boss. Then tell him you enjoy being a dominatrix, then take him to the bathroom, blindfold him and pee in his butt. He'll be totally confused, and will most likely have an epileptic seizure. While he's writhing in a puddle of urine, have a friend, preferably one with superpowers, steal the dog and run/drive/fly/teleport to Kansas, the obvious rendezvous point. Give your piss-soaked, shivering boss a reacharound to put him in a good mood. While he's in his post-orgasmic haze, replace the dog with a mop (HE WON'T KNOW BECAUSE HE'S BLINDFOLDED) and do cartwheels (that way bullets can't hit you) all the way to Kansas. If this fails, I will eat my hat.
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Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-05-30 23:58:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think Emeril masturbates with garlic (audience hoots and claps).
I said garlic (audience hoots and claps).
Malone
garlic (audience hoots and claps).
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Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-05-21 08:11:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you wearing white make-up, or have you just spent the last year with the morlocks?
Either way, have fun at the prom, cradle robber.
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Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-05-11 01:12:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a belly button.
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Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-05-28 14:16:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was talking to satan lastnight, he said you can have your soul back if you quit writing.
And then he farted in my living room and did a back flip.
Fucking asshole.
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Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-05-20 22:26:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Bullshit
Everyone is either German, Black, Mexican, or dead
Thats just the way it is
GO SOX WOO!!!!!
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Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2003-10-17 02:06:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
I've always found that girls who spell their names ending in "I" where normally it would end in "Y" (with the exception of girls named Cyndi) usually are such big sluts and whores that by the time they are 28 years old, their uterus falls out.
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Submitted by bob at 2004-05-17 12:34:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
tom, for the last time, stop being such a whore.
no wonder why your mom got the clap.
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Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-05-14 15:58:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
I got one for you godking. People think that I can read and speak any Asian language because I'm a black belt. What the hell is that supposed to do for me?
Japanese person: Hello how are you?
loki: bow, ready, fight, stop
Japanese person: What is your name?
loki: upper block, side kick, reverse punch, turn
Japanese person: You're American aren't you?
loki: seek perfection of character; be faithful; endeavor; respect others; refrain from violent behavior
Japanese person: I'm calling the police
loki: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10
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And finally, here are a few that don't quite fit, but were priceless nonetheless:
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Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-07-31 10:34:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
Those facial features come from generations of continuous inbreeding.
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Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-08-14 07:27:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
WHEN I ASK YOU SOMETHING, ANSWER ME BOY!!
DID YOUR MOTHER HAVE ANY CHILDREN THAT LIVED?
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Submitted by juniper1168 (user info) at 2004-05-19 15:39:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
u guys r gona think im a slut but my sn is like 20 somethng (i dont relly now, i get drunk a lot)
but im only 17 \and ive only been havin sex for like 7 months lol
but i have a friend(keely) and shes like a total slut she has had sex with about 30 people and shes been having sex for like a yera!!\
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My heart is brimming with love for all of ubersite (yes, even polyamorousaj...okay, maybe not him),
Vivian.
Google image search for "happy love bunny":
User Reviews
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-06-17 17:42:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post reminds me of when I was ten.
I was in bed and noticed that a corner of the wallpaper was coming free. Earlier that day I had eaten all my glue, my only choice was to jerk off and secure the wallpaper with semen. Which I did repeatedly.
In fact I haven't stopped in almost 17 years.
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2004-06-11 10:04:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for putting in the work to find these.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-06-11 09:15:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is stuck in my head right now.
If you don't get this, your parents screwed up in raising you:
One two three, four five.
Six seven eight, nine, ten.
Eleven Twelve.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-06-11 07:12:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHA!
Wow, at the_lone_stranger....that was beautiful, thank you, apparently I AM a pathetic loser.
I thought this one was actually slightly under par, I didn't have nearly as much time, due to my boyfriend ("the tool" according to aj and method), so I pretty much took three days this month and went through as many as I could.
My favorite finds were actually the really, really old comments from when McBain posted his picture.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-06-11 06:53:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes! DMD makes his triumphant return to rating compilation lists!
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-06-11 01:22:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It is very important to me to positively re-enforce this behavior. Not only does this series of yours give people a vain justification to write clever reviews, but it really is funny as hell, and it reveals many comments that most of us with lives have no time to read.
You truly are a pathetic loser, and I love you.
Now suck my balls.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-06-11 01:15:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oatmeal?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-11 01:06:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Habeebs comment had me cracking up. Crazy fucker.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-06-11 00:54:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is all a buncha tree huggin hippy crap.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-06-11 00:15:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-06-11 00:06:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAR HAR, +2 BABAY!
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-06-10 23:52:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yum.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-06-10 22:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And now for another round of "My Favorite Spinoff!"
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-06-10 22:16:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That child is DRUNK.
But so was I, 4 days our of 5 completed of this week, so really, I got nothing.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-06-10 22:10:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-05-20 22:26:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Bullshit
Everyone is either German, Black, Mexican, or dead
Thats just the way it is
GO SOX WOO!!!!!
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I don't know why, but that is one the funniest things I've ever read.
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-06-10 21:48:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOO
I said 2 funny things
GO BEARS WOO
AH DEATH STORMS
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-06-10 21:33:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
These should be bigger.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-06-10 21:21:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmph
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-06-10 21:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Daking, you're mr interesting things to say man, and you tend to be a hard rater (that's a good thing), though I did have one by you in my initial document. I lost that entire file and had to redo it, I musta lost you in the process.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-10 21:14:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
-2 I hate this series.
+1 I was dumb enough to click on it.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-10 21:12:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-05-20 13:46:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hidden- "man, i am fuckin' HORNY! "
Where do you live? I have a chainsaw.
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Oh dear god! That comment is all kinds of weird and nasty when it's taken out of context.
Actually... it was pretty weird and nasty anyway. What the hell is wrong with me? This little rate box brings out a strange side of me.
+2 I love these posts!
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-06-10 21:12:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok so I must be a miserable cunt after all not to have gotten a mention on this post opnce again.
I'll just go shoot myself now OK.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-06-10 21:08:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meow...
That baby was not supposed to turn out so large.