The Top Ten Things to Say After Sex (Another list you wont see on Letterman) (2711 hits)
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Rating: 1.61 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by spacemonkey (View user info) at 2004-06-11 10:30:15 EDT
Of course everyone knows that sex is fun. What is not so fun is figuring out what to say after.
It can get a bit awkward, but don't worry I'm here to help.
Here are the top ten coolest things for any guy to say after sex. Husbands, boyfriends, even random joes can earn a lot of points, and get sex more often, if he just casually utters these phrases, after and even during sex.
Remember that I'm here to think, so you don't have to.
10) Go make me a sandwich, bitch.
9) It was so short, because you are just that hot.
8) What's your name, again?
7) Do you have a younger sister or something?
6) Hmm, dinner was thirty; the movie was twenty, which kinda makes you a fifty-dollar whore.
5) YOU-I'll call you Linda...
HER-My names not...
YOU-Don't worry it's all up here (point to your head and reference a steel bear trap, then call her Linda again)
4) I like sharing my feelings, after sex... naw I'm kidding, get the hell out of here.
3) I sure hope she doesn't regain consciousness for another five minutes.
2) I don't usually do this, but your pretty. And by do this, I mean get laid, and by pretty I mean pretty drunk.
1) I hope you have medical insurance.
User Reviews
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-06-12 06:29:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for yours
+1 for Envenom
"Have you started yet?"
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-06-11 16:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Oh really? Sorry, I must have slipped." Explaining away an "accidental" anal intrusion after the fact. Funny post.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-06-11 16:04:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was priceless!
I no longer trust you with my sex life...
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-06-11 12:13:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(Making another notch on the bedpost) 2438...
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-06-11 12:02:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very nice.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-06-11 11:59:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty funny.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-06-11 11:57:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, I'm bored at work...
10)Damn, I think we have to do it again the tape ran out.
9) I can tell by the cavernous shape of your vagina you've done this before.
8) I have a strange craving for tuna.
7) You suck dick just like my wife.
6) Wait till the guys at work here about this!
5) Is it too late to use a condom?
4) Is it too early to use a coat hanger?
3) That reminded me of this one time in prison...
2) (moment of clarity -post ejaculation) You're not going to tell the girls at Jenny Craig about this, are you?
1) I've had better
Submitted by Snuggles_The_Assassin (user info) at 2004-06-11 11:40:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot the always fun "Now what are you gonna stick in me"
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-11 11:24:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-11 11:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"4) I like sharing my feelings, after sex... naw I'm kidding, get the hell out of here. "
That's my favorite
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-11 11:01:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-06-11 10:42:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
I spit my pomegranate juice all over the screen with,
--------
I love it when JMG spits his juice all over stuff.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-06-11 10:56:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I always say, "Good Night".
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-06-11 10:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
6) Hmm, dinner was thirty; the movie was twenty, which kinda makes you a fifty-dollar whore.
hahahah
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-06-11 10:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-06-11 10:42:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I spit my pomegranate juice all over the screen with, "Hmm, dinner was thirty; the movie was twenty, which kinda makes you a fifty-dollar whore."
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-06-11 10:37:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
8) What's your name, again?
Perfect. And #1 was pretty good too.
Although I always prefer "hand me that lighter and the roach clips."
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-06-11 10:36:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/12492
This was good, but mine was funnier.
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-06-11 10:34:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed at number 1.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-11 10:34:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha!