A picture tells a thousand words (NSFW) (2723 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: 1.39 on 50 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by squattail (View user info) at 2004-06-12 22:51:03 EDT
#1: An alcoholic. Currently collects welfare checks for her deceased parents.
#2: Once reversed her car into a cyclist riding past her driveway. Asked her boyfriend to tell the police he was driving the car at the time, who is currently serving 5 years in prison for manslaughter. Has warts and a rash on her inner buttocks.
#3: Is a prostitute with a long-term heroin addiction.
#4: Currently infected with HIV he contracted from a tattoo parlor. Has sex with a different woman every weekend without use of protection, to date has infected dozens, many of whom do not know it. Is fucking #5.
#5: Is an abusive mother who neglects and beats her two children. Her husband left her because of her paranoid and aggressive behavior, but could not retain custody of his children. The father is currently kidnapping the kids and has three air tickets to the UK in his car.
#6: Sells date-rape drugs outside of nightclubs and bars. Has only one testical, the other was lost to cancer twenty years ago.
#7: Once threw a brick from an 18th story window at a family of Orthodox Jews walking down a Manhattan street, which impacted upon the father's collarbone leading to a stroke.
#8: Puts on wife's panties while she is not home and masturbates. Has left the stove element on at home with a roll of paper towel sitting next to it, currently catching alight. His shih-tzu is locked inside the house.
#9: Fills tennis balls with sulfur match heads and leaves them on the street for strangers to pick up. Last year a stray dog playing with one blew its jaw off and had to be put down.
User Reviews
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-14 08:22:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-13 21:21:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/35657
very original concept you've got here
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Yea, because I always check all 50,000 previous posts before I submit something. Are you telling me you've got a patent on the idea of identifying people in a photo with numbers and then captioning those numbers?
Did you invent God too?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-11-20 13:29:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-11-14 04:24:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-11-14 02:36:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
Werd up you fucking whore, I like how you waited two weeks after I had done the same thing to submit, just so nobody would accuse you of stealing my idea, which you did.
_____________
I didn't, you know. This post never even crossed my mind while I was writing mine. I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but your posts aren't exactly memorable.
Also, mine was a fair bit better.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/36936
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-08 07:07:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-06-14 19:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jocko_Johnson (user info) at 2004-06-14 15:39:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
har har peener
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2004-06-14 12:35:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
jesus.. description of the person doesn't match the face at all... you suck..
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2004-06-14 10:53:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funny shit
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-14 05:17:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Look closer, dumbasses, you can clearly see the leg of Number 4 behind and to the left of the legs of Number 5.
Submitted by Rosencrantz (user info) at 2004-06-14 04:38:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ooohh. He is so wise...
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-06-14 03:11:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I gave you your heat. Hope you're happy.
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-06-14 03:10:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They die because you post over them, and people don't like checking you user info because so many bad posts scare them. And this was onely 283 words including the number signs and numbers. I can't rate because of that though. Yeah I can, nevermind.
Submitted by squattail (user info) at 2004-06-14 01:08:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh shit, almost most heated. This has happened to 3 of my last 10 posts, just before hitting most heated they DIE.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-06-14 00:44:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
#4 is wearing shorts and has a wide stance. You can see part of his leg behinf the legs of #5.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-06-14 00:23:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think number 4 was photoshopped in.
Submitted by Chris_Atler (user info) at 2004-06-14 00:12:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
#9 looks like my friend, although my friend has not had any incidents with blowing a dogs jaw apart
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-06-13 21:07:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOw I DON'T want to work in that company!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-06-13 18:39:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Fluffhead (user info) at 2004-06-13 18:01:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny, sorta weird though.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-06-13 17:57:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The only ones that really bothered me were the last two, about the dogs. *sad noise* puppy!
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-06-13 17:50:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Instant classic. Give this man a medal.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-13 17:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
#8 totally WOULD have a shitzu!
This cracked me up.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-06-13 16:42:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Number 7 had me on the floor.
Submitted by jimbobjoe (user info) at 2004-06-13 16:21:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-13 15:07:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
wow
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2004-06-13 13:03:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
fuck that last one is sick. i have to try it
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-06-13 12:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You could do better. Remember truth is stranger than fiction!
Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2004-06-13 10:29:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i hope you didnt sleep with him either...
UUUUUUGGGGOOOOOO
Submitted by texgirl (user info) at 2004-06-13 08:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha that's cute. Where did you get that pic?
I think i went to school with #4.....
....i hope that i didnt sleep with him
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-06-13 07:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Looks like a staff line-up at a place I worked. Old boss looks scarily like No. 6, although I can't vouch for how many testicles he has.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-13 06:57:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Not his best work.
Submitted by helium_the_balloon (user info) at 2004-06-13 06:50:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'M NUMBER 9!!
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-06-13 06:38:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by McMuffin (user info) at 2004-06-13 04:04:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny.
Submitted by magical_invisible_torso_man (user info) at 2004-06-13 03:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
where do i get some of those matches?
Submitted by Vermin (user info) at 2004-06-13 03:26:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You sir are the best poster on this site
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-06-13 02:45:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahah
good show
GO BEARS WOO!!!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-13 02:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-06-12 23:20:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Where the fuck are number 4's legs
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-13 02:21:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't know I could hate someone and love them at the same time.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-06-13 01:44:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know why but I thought this was awesome.
Submitted by atz (user info) at 2004-06-13 00:54:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-06-12 23:20:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Where the fuck are number 4's legs
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He's floating! He's a damn wizard! Actually, you can see his legs if you look closely.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-06-13 00:54:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-06-12 23:20:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Where the fuck are number 4's legs
This reply made me laugh my ass off.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-06-13 00:36:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:)
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-06-13 00:23:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good work.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-06-13 00:06:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2
Submitted by Rixes (user info) at 2004-06-12 23:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds like one of my family reunions.
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-06-12 23:44:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny - I like this a lot, I think.
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-06-12 23:20:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where the fuck are number 4's legs
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-06-12 23:19:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why is this nsfw?
And what just happened.
Jeebus, I am really really weirded out.
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-06-12 23:09:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
w00t