The Superhero Fiasco (588 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.14 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tenyuki (View user info) at 2004-06-13 14:16:19 EDT
For years, the earth has been under mass chaos. Deaths are on a rise, disease is rampant everywhere, and a massive war could potentially begin. Yet, our lives are in the hands of mild mannered humans known as "politicians". Unbeknownst to most on this lovely planet of ours, these politicians are the biggest threat to mankind as we know it. So who can we turn to to help save our lives?!
That lies in the hands of superheroes. Over the years, the likes of Spider-Man, the X-Men, the Fantastic Four, etc. have been handling super villains who threaten our lives on a monthly basis. Sure, these villains are capable of wiping out mankind, but we know that. It's all on the surface. "We're here to fuck with you and your loved ones. And we're gonna be stupid idiots and proclaim it to the public!" Hey, at least they have the balls to admit their world domination plans to us, whereas politicians do it under the guise of "stopping terrorists".
But this is not enough. We need more superheroes to save our lives; Superheroes that go above what is asked of them. Yes, we need superheroes that can not only save our lives on a day to day basis, but also superheroes that can protect us on a long term basis as well.
Knowing this knowledge, I propose the "OMGWNMSHOEWGDF", or the Oh My God We Need More Super Heroes Or Else We're Gonna Die Foundation. Through this foundation, we can train the mild mannered Peter Hamilton in Office Room 304 to become Ultra Mega Life Protector, complete with blaster cannon wrist watches AND a 401K for when fighting evil villains becomes too much of a hassle. By day, Peter Hamilton will be fighting the dreaded nemesis known as "The System", defending the poor, out-of-a-job-every-day-man in court. And by night, he shall vanquish evil with his vast knowledge of the law... or with a big ass laser. Come on... lasers are cool as hell.
An example of an OMGWNMSHOEWGDF member can be seen every Sunday night at 10:30 PM Central Standard Time on Cartoon Network. Yes, my friends, he is Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law. While he is not out zapping evil doers, he is defending the Average Joe from marijuana possession, child custody, etc... the list goes on!
I'm sure this will vanquish all evil off of the planet. Or if not, we can all just turn to the superhero ska band known as:
THE AQUABATS!
"And if we die before the battle's through, tell our moms, tell our dads we were SUPER RAD!"
User Reviews
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-06-16 17:59:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Tenyuki (user info) at 2004-06-13 18:50:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well thank you all the positive people... or something.
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2004-06-13 16:39:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
eh? I thought this was good.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-13 15:54:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-06-13 15:25:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Dum.
Submitted by gbusman (user info) at 2004-06-13 15:10:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
keep trying.
Submitted by Tenyuki (user info) at 2004-06-13 14:53:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, it was completely uninspired once I got to the OMG...etc.etc.etc. I was still feeling the great amounts of happiness of witnessing the Aquabats live.
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-06-13 14:50:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I second that "Meh".
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-06-13 14:29:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i read this then said "Meh" aloud.