I Made You A Kite So You Would Have to Look Up (696 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.61 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mary Mathis <pirynne_18.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-06-14 11:18:10 EDT
I am in Recovery, Rehab, AA, The Program, whatever you want to call it, that's me. I was doing pretty good on not drinking and acting like a fool, but I just lost it about a month ago, had a nervous breakdown episode and signed myself in the mental part of the hospital. I spent a week there. I had a lot of downtime to think how I really fucked up my fucking life. When I got out I quit my fulltime job as a nanny of three wonderful kids. I was diagnosed with ADD, depression, night terrors and alcoholism. I lost a lot of things when I fucked up including someone I really loved.
"I Made You A Kite So You Would Have To Look Up" is one of the reflections in my Day of Healing, Day of Joy book. It's about a man who made his friend a kite so he could always be looking up at the sky, instead of moping and looking down. It's sort of a metaphor in ways. That is what good friends and good people do for each other in recovery. They cheer each other up and are always there to listen, cry with you, hug you, love you, be honest with you, and make a lot of kites so we can all help each other at looking up. I think of my one friend Rob, he is always lifting my chin up when I cry and says, "Keep your chin up girl."
But anyways I prefer to think of all of the bad times as over and in the past. It will be on the back of my mind every single day, but I have to move ahead. I think that I have been doing a great job of that...I got a job I love doing floral design and my boss said I am one of the most naturally talented people that has ever worked for her. Her and I are working on putting together a portfolio.
I have recorded two of my own songs onto a CD and I am working on recording more. A lot of people have heard the CD and say that I will be hanging out with PJ Harvey at Lollapolooza. Yeah I wish I was there at this point.
I am making new friends, female too which is good for me cause I hardly have any girls to have girl chat with. It's cool cause one of the girls I met in rehab is so similar to me...both alcoholics, adopted, fucking crazy!
I really do take my recovery day by day. I just enjoy my days, go to meetings, do my floral design work on my music. I try not to worry about the future and I try not to dwell in the past. Neither will help.
It's really hard in recovery. I feel like giving up a lot...I feel like just going and getting tanked when anything doesn't go my way...but that's the drunk me that I don't like and neither does anyone else. At those times I look to the new friends I have made...they are the best.
I have to just keep looking up.
User Reviews
Submitted by Aphrodite (user info) at 2004-06-16 06:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck Raimee.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-06-14 16:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best wishes.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-06-14 15:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good luck ramiee.
Submitted by Raimee (user info) at 2004-06-14 14:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kaelic-why don't you ask Rizzo to his face.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2004-06-14 13:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So what's the real story of why you and Rizzo broke up? You just went nutcase on him, or what? Just wondering. I don't really believe in alcoholism, but hopefully you'll work things out.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-06-14 13:31:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck.
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-06-14 12:16:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-06-14 12:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i love crazy drunk bitches!
I dunno why, but that came into my head so i wrote it. i am an asshole.
the most important thing i learned was that i was responsible for my own recovery.
good luck raimee.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-06-14 11:56:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck, Raimee.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-06-14 11:52:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Stay well, Jo. Just keep swimming.
Submitted by Raimee (user info) at 2004-06-14 11:45:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks Insane! I hope you are doing well.
I might be coming to Florida sometime soon so I'll visit u.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-06-14 11:39:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-06-14 11:34:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well now, it's nice to read something from you. Sounds like you are putting some major effort into feeling better, I am happy to hear that.
It won't be easy, as I'm sure you know.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-14 11:25:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A bit gay, but otherwise OK.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-14 11:23:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aww, best of luck to you!