The Tale of Crotch, the Children of the Corn, and "Free Refills" (3778 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.98 on 67 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Badlands (View user info) at 2004-06-14 13:59:27 EDT
Ten years ago, I was 19. And what a time it was. I was coasting through college, sponging off my parents, and tapping kegs (and ass) at an alarming rate. In short, I was your typical red-blooded, young American male. Life was good. Until the day my parents made me get a real job.
You see, it was my father's steadfast belief that I, his baby boy, was what he called, a "Glider." For those unfamiliar -- BitterOldMan Dictionary defines Glider as: A smart-assed little bastard who doesn't know shit about the real world or what it's like to work hard, and seriously thinks that his con-artist smile and bullshit charm is going to get him through life.
Don't bother looking it up. Trust me, it's an accurate definition. I had it memorized. Basically, the deal was that if I wanted to continue living rent free, and benefiting from their tuition assistance, I'd get a job.
So, I became a waiter. And on top of having to be quick, accurate and efficient, I also had to learn to put up with people's shit. You see, while most people are kind and generous, there are still those select few that haven't learned to abide by the Cardinal Law of dining out.
It's a simple rule, really - Do not. Under any circumstances. For whatever reason. Draw the ire of your Server. Ever. No matter what. Don't do it. Seriously. Just don't. Because you'll pay. Dearly.
I think this rule is best summed up in a song I once heard, the chorus being:
You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the Lone Ranger
And you don't fuck with your Server, dumbass!
Anyway, the crux of this tale focuses on a certain guest who had obviously never been privy to this rule. She sits down to her table while still on her cell phone, a mother and her four children. For the sake of this story, we'll refer to them simply as 'Crotch and the Children of the Corn'.
Once seated, the kids begin to break up the crayons given them by the Hostess, and start throwing them around the restaurant. Little fuckers. Crotch meanwhile, turns a blind eye, still chatting away on her phone with what must be her pimp, ignoring the disruption.
I glance at the floor plan. My section. My table. My headache.I begin to make my way over, notice Crotch on the phone, and decide to hang back. Approaching her now would be rude.
But Crotch sees me and—-while still chatting-—begins to snap her fingers with her free hand. I look over, see her waving her big mitt at me, and immediately begin walking in the opposite direction. Oh no, dear lady, you must be joking. Snap at me? I think not. Now you and the Children of the Corn will wait for service.
After a reasonable amount of time has passed, I, being the benevolent Server King that I am, deem her time-out to be over and approach the table.
"Good afternoon, ma'am..."
"Didn't y'all see me calling you over before?"
"You mean when you were snapping your fingers at me? I thought maybe you were just really into in the muzak playing in the restaurant. It's Neil Diamond. Sometimes his melodies get me snapping too."
"You tryin' to be funny wit' me, boy?"
Boy? Oh, no. Deep breath. Serenity now...
"No ma'am. Not trying to be funny at all. May I tell you about today's specials?"
"The refills on y'alls drinks be free?"
"Um, yes ma'am. Refills on soft drinks are free. Now, today we're featuring fresh sea bass, grilled lightly in a lemon-pepper sauce, with a hint of..."
"We's thirsty. Get us drinks. Then we order."
Rudeness. Took me half the day to memorize those damn specials. Another deep breath.
"As you wish, ma'am. Might I suggest today's featured beverage, the Dreamsicle—-a frozen slice of Heaven on Earth, made with a refreshing blend of...Ow!"
Shit. One of the Children of the Corn—-Malachi I think—-just hit me in the eye with a crayon while Isaac, Damien and Beelzebub laugh their asses off. Crotch does nothing. Just looks at me as if I'm the asshole.
"You got ice tea? There free refills on that?"
Rubbing my bloodshot eye, "Uh, yes ma'am. Refills on the iced tea are free."
"Good. I want one ice tea. And bring me four refills with it."
"E-Excuse me?" I stutter.
"Ya'll heard me. I want one ice tea. And four refills."
"You want four refills? Now?"
"What ain't you gettin'? I says, bring me five drinks."
I do a quick count. One Crotch. Four Spawn of Satan. That's five. Okay, she wants five iced teas.
"Alright then, five iced teas coming right up." I turn to leave, still not entirely sure what's taking place.
"Whoa there. Hold up boy. It's one ice tea. And four refills."
She's glaring at me now. A wide, devilish grin invades her pudgy face-—a single gold tooth, glinting at me. She's waiting for me to flinch. Daring me to make a move. I slowly realize that the game is most definitely on. Alright Crotch, let's dance.
"So...five iced teas for you, then. Anything for the youngsters?" Giving her an opportunity to stand down.
"The youngsters," she mimics, "will be drankin' my refills."
And there it is. Blam! Crotch just busted a cap. The ball is now squarely in my court. She's Clint Eastwood, asking me if I feel "lucky." And I'm the punk who now has to decide if she's got another round in the chamber, or if she's bluffing. It is SO on.
I slowly take yet another deep breath, and speak.
"I apologize ma'am. This is entirely my fault. I should have explained to you that while our 'free refill' policy is quite generous and fairly non-restrictive, it does—-I regret to inform you—-only apply to a single diner. In short, if you order a beverage for yourself, I am obligated to refill your glass after—-and only after—-you've completely imbibed the contents of said beverage and, with thirst not yet slaked, desire another. I cannot, in good conscious, bring refills to your table in anticipation of future thirst, or as a means for you extend your generosity to fellow diners who may, at said time, be beverage-ally challenged."
I smile warmly. Now, I'm not even really sure what I just said, but I figured the more polysyllabic words I use, the better. It's a showdown now. Even the Children of the Corn have silenced. They realize that 'She Who Walks Behind The Rows' is about to unleash Hell.
"Mothafucker, I know you mocking me! I ain't never been treated so badly in my 'ho life. Get me yo' manager. Now!"
She's like a volcano ready to erupt. I quickly agree to fulfill her request and head back to the kitchen, grinning the whole way. Fuck her.
It's over. My manager will never stand for this. She's a goddamned nutcase! I'll simply explain the situation, he'll walk out, take one look at this family of freaks, explain that it is our policy to refuse service to Satan, and she and her brood will be escorted to the door. Check and Mate.
Only that didn't happen. Five minutes after walking up to her table, my manager walks back into the kitchen, with his head down, practically shaking.
"Get that fucking bitch her five iced teas, get her and her fucking kids fed, and then get them the fuck outta the restaurant."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He was just going to roll over for this woman. I had to say something.
"Jim...are you serious? You're really going to let her...where's your pride, man?"
He looked up at me, clearly frustrated and completely disheveled.
"Look Frankie, she's out there making a ruckus, telling me how rude you were to her and her children. She's disrupting the other guests, threatening to call the district office, and..."
"I was NOT rude to her, Jim!"
"I know. But we've got a busy night ahead and I don't have time for this. Just suck it up, do your job, and get her out of here."
"But..."
"Not another word." He says, stomping off at a pace that revealed his shame. Coward.
Now I was ready to erupt. Where is the Justice? The battle of good versus evil just took a major hit, and I had to do something. I had to strike a blow for humanity. Ooohh, Crotch. You think you're above the law. But you're not above my law.
I made the 5 iced teas begrudgingly—-dropping lemons in each. One lemon, two lemon, three lemon, four lemon, 5 le...wait a minute. What is that on my shoe? Looks pretty nasty. Ah, yes. That baby who threw up in the restaurant an hour ago...I must have caught some of the puke splatter on my shoe. Disgusting!
Well, I clearly couldn't go back out into the dining room with baby vomit on my shoes. I'd need to clean them. But with what? There were rags in the sink, guess I could grab one of those. Although I have read that applying a lemon to a leather shoe can help return its lustrous shine. And I did just happen to have a lemon in my hand.
With an Angel on one shoulder begging me to turn the other cheek, and a Devil on the other warning me not to be a pussy, I made my choice.
And by the time I'm finished, my leather shoes are shining like mirrors. Of course, the lemon looks like hell due to the fact that I accidentally stepped on it a few times. I'm can be clumsy like that. In any event, I squeeze what little juice is left in the lemon slice into Crotch's glass and toss it in.
I place the glasses on my beverage tray, put my happy face on, and head out to the table. As I get there, I notice she's gloating—-giving me that big, fat toothy grin again. At that point, I'm blinded by the gold tooth and almost drop the entire tray. But I don't. I'm a professional.
"What took so long? I told you we wuz thirsty!" Baiting me.
All I want is to punch her in the throat. And kick her in the pancreas. But I don't. I'm a professional.
"My apologies, ma'am. Now let's see here...one iced tea," I say as I carefully place the vomit-tainted glass in front of her, "and four refills." And I give the Children of the Corn their clean glasses, though they deserved worse.
After setting the last drink down, I look over at Crotch, only to find her big, nasty chapped lips sucking the life out of that poor, tainted lemon. Then a huge gulp of pukey tea. She finishes with a big "Aaaaaaahhhhhh", followed by a large belch. And I notice, hanging on to the corner of her mouth, a small piece of regurgitated food that was no doubt floating in her glass just a moment ago.
After slamming the rest of her drink she glares at me, nothing but contempt in her eyes.
"We's ready to order now. And I wants another ice tea."
I smile now. And it goes on for miles.
"Another iced tea, ma'am? Of course, I'd be happy to get you another. And you're ready to order food as well? Perfect. I'll personally see that your meal is prepared exactly to your liking."
She snorts now. "Your manager must've ripped yo' ass. 'Bout time you learned to give some respect."
"Yes, ma'am. Of course. Respect. Now regarding your order...how is it that you'd like entrée prepared again? Grilled? With extra lemon, you say? Ah, perfect. A wise choice..."
User Reviews
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-06-02 11:23:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
With an Angel on one shoulder begging me to turn the other cheek, and a Devil on the other warning me not to be a pussy, I made my choice.
---
That line just became a personal favourite
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2008-02-23 21:35:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2007-09-26 20:22:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, Comment.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-02 16:53:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Badlands, how I love thee, let me count the ways...
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-10-22 15:03:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was AWESOME.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-10-22 14:57:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
was she a redneck?
Submitted by djhurricane (user info) at 2006-10-22 14:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One of the best stories I've read.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-12-21 14:31:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh yeah...
Submitted by Faithless_Whisper (user info) at 2005-03-17 14:20:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
badlands, you are my hero. I love you. I can't even count how many times I wanted to do something like that. You are the best
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-03-17 14:01:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh yeah, but i got angrier than you in mine. and i didn't care about my job.
meh.
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-03-17 14:00:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhhh, southern white trash rudeness. *takes breath of fresh air* AHHHHHHHHHH! it warms my sould to hear this. Automatic +2 for "Big Jim Walker" reference. I wish I could give you more cause I have a similar story. It's time fooooooor Linkwhore!:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59047
Submitted by sc0oterpie (user info) at 2005-03-17 13:44:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, I hate serving tables...especially those kinds
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-03-17 13:38:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Best story.
Submitted by gibsonha at 2004-09-22 23:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I remember once I was working in a restaurant doing a function for Real Estate Agents. This one dude- a solarium tanned, plug haired, teeth bleached weasel actually licked his lips at me when he passed me his plate. I dumped the entire contents of my arms (4 or 5 plates with scraps and cutlery on them) into his lap, then threw his ass out the door.
My manager high fived me for it. I made a complete tit out of him and it was fantastic
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-09-14 15:30:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, I'll be the first to say it. As a disclaimer, allow me to also say that I subscribe to the Chris Rock school of prejudice!
Niggers like that shouldn't be allowed into restaurants! I was a server once too, and the fuckers NEVER tip! NEVER! I once had this guy who came in with 'ho and his 4 future Penitentiary Residents and ate a full course meal with the most impeccable service I could provide, and then WAITED while I brought him his 78 cents back on a $60-$70 tab.
Fuckers! I hope they all die!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2004-09-12 11:31:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
when i was a waitress we would spit in peoples food or make sure we "dropped" it and put it back on their plate. I was like a waitress temp so i worked all over. I once worked with an ex- navy bloke who claimed that he pissed in Prince Andrew's soup. He did it because his royal highness had made him iron too may of those white uniforms. Prince Andrew gave the soup nothing but compliments, allegedly.
Submitted by AndyD (user info) at 2004-09-12 10:48:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love it when arsey fucking customers get what they deserve! Nice one! As a fellow customer service professional i salute you.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-09-12 10:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would say "bullcrap", except I know stuff like this happens. That's the reason I could never be a server in any capacity - something like this would happen and a person will get deaded.
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2004-09-12 10:27:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Badlands is the fucking man
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2004-09-11 10:07:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-09-11 10:02:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great post
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-09-11 09:48:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damnit, now I'm gonna be paranoid whenever I eat out. I always try and be nice, but still... Who knows what these bastards do to my food?
Submitted by phredde2 (user info) at 2004-09-04 21:08:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Never piss off your barber, either
Submitted by oxanar (user info) at 2004-08-25 16:02:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All too familiar...by the way, did Crotch want a scraw with which to sip that Ice tea?
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2004-08-25 15:36:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God this rules.
Submitted by heater (user info) at 2004-08-18 15:44:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Popcorn!!! Yeah, you get that when Heat meets corn.
Submitted by Chief_Rugger (user info) at 2004-08-18 15:36:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate people like that, thats why I don't work in food service, only for them: by kneecapping assholes like dat when they pull that crap.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-08-18 15:10:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-08-18 14:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man Badlands, you rule ass.
I used to live in Vail Colorado, where I worked as a server in a restaurant called "The Red Lion." I also played music on stage as well. One night, when it was particularly packed and I was trying to deliver a check in a crowd packed as tightly as the front row of a Metallica concert, I repeatedly asked a customer to move his chair in so I could get by him. He continually ignored me, so I just shoved my way behind him after a while. He got superpissed and told my manager. My manager knew that his version of the story was shit and calmed the situation as best that he could. The guy was still pissed. Later in the night, right before I changed into my stage clothes for a set, the guy started pissing on the bar. Me, my manager, and two beefy security guys that check ID's at the door, threw him out and used his face to open the side door. It was awesome.
Can't wait to read the next one...
Submitted by Brianthetruthspeaker (user info) at 2004-07-27 17:54:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Badlands
I read about 30+ posts a day, I do want to write about bull shit, peeners Jew toast and boobies however some of the post are so painful, they do not know how the government in the USA works
And make sweeping statements that are just ignorant and badlands I have to respond.
If they just stuck to, having sex with poor retarded children, licking bums assess or what ever depraved crap you want to write about. Id have nothing to post. I tried to write about stupid shit I did. But like you I can only take so much.
And to reply to your closing comment.
When you throw a rock at a pack of backing dogs and one of them stops to whimper, that's the one you hit.
Now I'm going to read some of your posts I hope there good.
Dude that was a great post..my hats off to you.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-06-28 23:02:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good times. I've had to deal with some of the most awful people you could possibly imagaine.
Although I personally have never done anything to any of my customer's food (I much prefer exacting my revenge in other ways), I've watched other servers do some of the nastiest shit, and people will gorge themselves like it's the best meal they've ever had. It's hilarious.
On my last day at Outback, a few servers got together and pooled $50 bucks for me to "accidentally" dump an entire pitcher of tea on this one hellbitch. She may've only tipped me like two bucks, but the satisfaction I got from doing it was SO worth it, even if I hadn't gotten the money from my coworkers.
Submitted by Vermin (user info) at 2004-06-22 00:49:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As per http://www.ubersite.com/m/36288, although I am sure that this post is wonderful and deserves this +2.
Submitted by Christ (user info) at 2004-06-15 17:44:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2004-06-15 14:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"...it is our policy to refuse service to Satan..."
That's damn funny.
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2004-06-15 07:42:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I worked as a barman, and I know the shit that can happen when only drinks and obnoxious fuckwits are involved. When food and obnoxious fuckwits are in close proxiity, all hell can break loose.
Submitted by JewdoMaster (user info) at 2004-06-15 05:50:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not even gunna call shenannigins on this one; I've worked as a waiter and it is hell. Don't do it, people.
Submitted by Fleadh (user info) at 2004-06-15 05:38:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ye should have some form of liquid laxative to add to the kids drinks. Or at the very least have some deadly poisons in a petre dish brewing on a top shelf for such occasions.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-06-15 03:13:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ok I think there has to be a better way to crucify a bitch like this.
Let her get her free refill, let her give it to her kid,
charge the kid with recieving and her with theft.
Ok they could transport a kid for stealing a loaf of bread in the olden days, I am sure you could still charge this bitch with theft. That is if your manager wasn't such a woosie arsehole!
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-06-15 02:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good job.
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-06-15 02:19:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was great. So very pleased to see fresh talent on here.
Malone
Lucifer Industries LLC
http://www.luciferindustries.com
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-06-15 00:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'triffic
Submitted by grlpisces (user info) at 2004-06-15 00:14:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hats off to my fellow server! I actually don't mind the occasional rude customer it gives me an excuse to blow snot into people's food. It is a real tension reducer!!
Submitted by Stressedexonian (user info) at 2004-06-15 00:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'Mazing
Submitted by Malachewaii (user info) at 2004-06-14 23:54:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice, nice.. I liked it.. funny shit.. one suggestion.. next time, grab a meat cleaver from the back, and sever the hand that snapped at you. Then, proceed to decapitate each child of the corn, saving the one that threw the crayon at your eye for last, so that he can see his fate, yet do nothing about it.
AND, since it's quite possible that mommy dearest would want reparations for killing her chillens.. just go ahead and ruin her shit, too.
Submitted by GreenBean <marinajane79.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-06-14 23:33:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was awesome! Fucking hysterical!
Submitted by jcricket (user info) at 2004-06-14 22:23:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that was fucking awesome.
absolutely love revenge stories, especially well-written ones.
+2 for the ass-cummer as well.
good for you
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-06-14 21:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude! That made my ass cum!
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-14 21:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-14 14:45:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
I worked as a hostess at the Olive Garden once. We had a regular who used to come with her kids and order the unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks lunch. One order for the whole family, with a lot of refills. We hated her. The whole staff used to get together and serve her sneezers. The managers included.
(we hacked in her drink only of course, we didn't want the kids getting it)
---
Who'd thought Lojope would do something like that...
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-06-14 21:14:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Really, really good.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2004-06-14 20:58:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Quarter-
Badass, Hetfield.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-06-14 20:35:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
**I ain't never been treated so badly in my 'ho life.**
She seems like the type of woman would have a 'ho life. Maybe thats where all the damn kids cane from.
I was out for breakfast last week and had to deal with an extremely rude and incompetent server. I kept my temper throughout the whole meal and would have just left and not come back. But then the waiter comes out as I'm leaving and says to me 'Hey! Where's my tip?' I turned around and said 'The only tip you're going to get from me is the tip of my bot in your ass.'
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-06-14 20:30:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff, though it seems, under the circumstances, that an ebola-infused iced tea would have been more appropriate. Cunts
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-14 19:14:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet she was black. Or white trash.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-06-14 16:37:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This deserves a perfect run
Submitted by Dustbrother <agentdorsey.at.aol.com> at 2004-06-14 16:24:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was magnificent..
I do think applause is in order..
::Applause::
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2004-06-14 16:21:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good job.
Submitted by Snuggles_The_Assassin (user info) at 2004-06-14 15:29:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Grilled? With extra lemon, you say? Ah, perfect. A wise choice..."
-------------------
Truer words were never spoken.
I have worked in several dining establishments and bars, I can attest that several rude fucks had the Brendan special.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-06-14 15:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh yes...
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-06-14 15:23:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is why I eat at home.
Although, I tend to be a generous tipper when I do go out because I'm paranoid of this sort of thing happening.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-06-14 15:19:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I leave my ass un-wiped for such occasions.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-06-14 15:07:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shoulda blew your load on her food.
Submitted by cwl989 (user info) at 2004-06-14 15:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would have killed her. I admire your self-restraint.
Submitted by Beren (user info) at 2004-06-14 14:46:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As a former cook in a national chain during my college years, I can attest that we also did our part to help servers with difficult clients. A lot of foreign substances found their way into dishes.
Submitted by Speed2oo1 (user info) at 2004-06-14 14:45:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes yes yes, exactly how it should be handled.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-14 14:45:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I worked as a hostess at the Olive Garden once. We had a regular who used to come with her kids and order the unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks lunch. One order for the whole family, with a lot of refills. We hated her. The whole staff used to get together and serve her sneezers. The managers included.
(we hacked in her drink only of course, we didn't want the kids getting it)
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-14 14:40:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha normally I am opposed to those types of food server shenanigans
but this woman was the exception!
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-06-14 14:40:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Revenge is a dish best served with lemon.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-06-14 14:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
some people (I use the term loosely) should not be allowed out in public
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-06-14 14:22:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i hocked a big nasty phlegmy loogie in some guys horseradish
because he grabbed my ass. i hope he didn't get that nasty strep throat.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-06-14 14:22:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAR HAR PEENER!
good post.
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-06-14 14:20:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Chalk up one for the good guys