The most insane shit happened to me today. (688 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.85 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sence (View user info) at 2004-06-14 22:01:33 EDT
Okay, My father lived in the Miami Florida area mostly his whole life. He recently moved to Pulaski Tenn. to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city. Unfortunately for him saltwater fish like snapper,dolphin and grouper have become fond memories so he normally comes down about 3 or 4 times a year to fish and see the family. This was supposed to be one of those trips,but boy will I never forget today.
I wake up at 2:45 a.m. to meet my father at dade corners by six.(dade corners is a truckstop/baitshop/gas station on the fringes of society in the Everglades)We meet up and his girlfriend looks like she's terminally ill. Along the additional 2 hour drive to chucoloskee she seems to perk up and gets more talkative. We get to the fishing camp and rent a boat and get bait.
We fish for about an hour and limit out on snapper so she asks if we can bring her back to the dock so she can sit in the car because her back hurts. We drop her off and tell her we will be back in two hours. When we return she's not there. We return the boat and clean down our fish. Still not there.
An hour goes by it's now 1:30 and she's still not there. My father calls his bestfriend in Homestead,which is two and a half hours away,to come get us so we can find her and the rental car. While we waited for four hours in 90 degree heat,plus went through an afternoon thunderstorm,we thought of all the things that she could have done. The one that seemed the obvious choice was that she got a hotel room to lie down in.(We were planning on sleeping the night there)
Finally my fathers friend gets there and we systematically checked all the hotels. No luck. Next we file a missing persons report with the sheriffs office. While we're at the sheriffs office the leasing office for the home of my fathers friend calls saying that my dads girlfriend is requesting entrance into his home. IN FUCKING HOMESTEAD!!!! THREE FUCKING HOURS AWAY!!!!
Oh,also,my carkeys are in the rental IN FUCKING HOMESTEAD!!!!. But my car is at dade corners which is backtracking an additional hour. When we finally get there we see that she crashed the rental and didn't call the cops or file a report. She refuses to admit that she crashed the car and won't answer when asked why she stranded us three hours away from civilization.
What the fuck?
User Reviews
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-15 21:12:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey rainer thanks for -2 my post asshole
Submitted by Rainer (user info) at 2004-06-15 19:28:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That's not a pile driver, that's Undertaker's weakass special. A REAL pile driver is where you land on your ass, much more painful.
Submitted by My_dixie_wrecked (user info) at 2004-06-15 19:06:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sounds alot like my family... You should have put in more details.
Submitted by miss_behvn (user info) at 2004-06-15 13:18:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, thats one fucked up bitch. I know the miami area and there are some hot days and some bad thunderstorms.
Submitted by euripidestrousers (user info) at 2004-06-15 11:49:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-06-15 10:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-06-14 22:14:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
what the fuck?
Alright to administer a Power Bomb
- take person
- lift them from the backside into the air
- twist him around
- make sure she/he's upside down and backwards in your arms
- fall to ground
If you follow these properly you should be able to crack her neck.
Take care of her using the previous noted method.
-------------------------------------------
What kind of fucked up powerbomb is that? heres how you really do it.
- Kick them in the stomach
- When they bend over wrap your arms around their waist. You stomach will be on their back.
- Lift them up quickly. The momentum will force them to curl upwards, like they are doing a situp. Their ass will be right in your face.
- Bring them back down hard, they should hit the ground on their upper back and neck.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-06-15 08:33:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How to administer a DDT:
-Facing the person, bend them over
-Put their head under your arm aginst your ribs
-Fall backwards using their head as landing gear
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-06-15 05:38:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What a dumb bitch.
Submitted by indigogecko (user info) at 2004-06-15 03:16:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeesh. Some people are crazy...
Submitted by shadowdragon (user info) at 2004-06-15 00:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Was she hot at least?
I mean, uh,
WHATTHEFUCKISWRONGWITHHER?!?!?1IFIWEREYOUI'DSHOOTHERNOSEOFFTHATBITCH!!!OMGSHEDESERVESTODIE!
Submitted by atz (user info) at 2004-06-15 00:20:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Your dad is far too trusting.
Submitted by ninjatut (user info) at 2004-06-14 22:41:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My buddy crashed our rental in Miami. U-Save Sucks, so do bald tires and freak thunderstorms.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-06-14 22:27:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
How to execute a pile driver
1) Take person by the waist
2) turn them 180 degrees, so that they are upside down
3) place their head in between your knee caps
4) while holding onto their midsection, take a small hop and land onto your knees.
5) let go of the now (hopefully) dead corpse.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-06-14 22:14:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what the fuck?
Alright to administer a Power Bomb
- take person
- lift them from the backside into the air
- twist him around
- make sure she/he's upside down and backwards in your arms
- fall to ground
If you follow these properly you should be able to crack her neck.
Take care of her using the previous noted method.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-06-14 22:07:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
And your father is with this woman..why?