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Submitted by itchy <Mritchytoyou.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-06-15 08:54:56 EDT
LETTING ANONYMOUS FOLK ON THE INTERNET DETERMINE YOUR MAJOR LIFE DECISIONS IS A GOOD IDEA.
Yesterday, my best buddy in the whole world called me. "itchy" he says, to me, "I have to be in town today for a court appearance at 1:00, are you free to do lunch?"
"You betcha, buddy'o'mine," I says to him.
So we meet for lunch. Over the course of some mighty fine burgers and draught Newcastles, he 'splains to me, "itchy, my firm is looking to hire a new associate. I think you would be perfect for it. But I need to know right quick if you are interested."
"Well shit," I says to him, " this is something I really need to talk to my wife about, not to mention solicit meaningful advice from the folks on Uber. After all, they were the ones who helped me get my whole ADD thing straightened out."
"Fair enough," he says, "just make sure to let me know before we get together for golf on Friday."
"No problem," I says.
So here we are, I've spoken to my wife, and explained that this little gem of a gig would be in a town approximately 45 miles away (commute from Hell), would entail approximately a $25,000 cut in pay, and provides absolutely no benefits. Compared with my current cushy corporate gig, the picture is clearly not very appealing.
However, there are benefits as well.
1) I would be using my lawyerly skillz much, much more. Doing things like: going to court on a regular basis. Since I am still paying the student loans I acquired in order to get that training, some part of me feels like I should be actually USING it to its full potential. I have some weird sort of guilt/failure complex about that - despite the fat little paychecks I get for being a corporate whore.
2) The firm he works for does not currently have anyone specializing in the areas of probate, estate planning, corporate law or real estate. All of these are areas where I have specific interest in specializing.
3) I would be able to work with my best buddy in the whole world. Every day.
4) Whereas in my current job, there is potential to climb the ladder, in a private firm I would be charting my own course, and the POTENTIAL for advancement is limited only to the amount of work I can drum up and my willingness to work 80 hours a week (I NEVER have to work more than 40 in the current gig, a big plus with a wee one toddling around the house).
Okay, I think that's it. Come on oh wise and powerful Uber, give me the answer I seek. What should I do with my life?
__________________________________
And now for something completely different:
THE HISTORY OF ADAGES
Next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isnt' just how you like it, think about how things used to be . . .
Here are some facts about the 1500s.
*Most people got married in June because the took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell; so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide their body odor.
*Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children last of all, the babies. By then, the water was so dirty, you could actually lose someone in it, hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."
*Houses had thatched roofs of thick straw piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm. SO all the dogs, cats and other small animals (i.e. mice, rats and bugs of all sorts) lived in the roof. When it rained, it became slippery; and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof, hence the saying, "it's raining cats and dogs."
*There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs (and other droppings) could really mess up your nice clean sheets. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
* The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet. So they spread thresh (Straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, the kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door, it would start to slip outside. A piece of wood was then placed in the entrance way, hence the label, "threshold."
*They cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the food in it had been there for quite a while, hence the rhyme, "peas porridge jot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot, nine days old."
*Sometimes the could obtain port, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests, and would sit around and "chew the fat."
*Those with money had plates of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach into the food, causing lead poisoning and/or death. This occurrence happened most often with tomatoes. So for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
*Most people did not have pewter plates, but had trenchers. Trenchers were made of a piece of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Often trenchers were made from stale bread wich was so old and hard that they could use them for quite some time. Trenchers were never washed and, a lot of times, worms and mold got into the wood and old bread. After eating off worm and mold infested trenchers, one would get "trench mouth."
*Bread was divided according to state. Workers got the bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the "upper crust."
*Lead cups were used to drink whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were then laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days, and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait to see if they would eventually wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."
*England is old and small, and they started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, many coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside, and they realized that they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead the string up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (i.e. the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."
. . . . and that's the truth . . . (and whoever said that history was boring?!)
Yeah, I just got that as a handout at a conference I attended earlier this year. I make no claims as to its validity or accuracy. But it is KIND OF interesting. Maybe. A little.
_________________________
I HAVE ADD - PROOF
Or maybe not. I was going to scan in the doodles I drew instead of taking notes at the above-referenced conference, but some clerk is using the scanner and I don't feel like waiting on her. Maybe another time.
Oh well, this is a pretty worthless post anyway. Maybe I should try to fit a talking penis into it somehow. . . . nah.
_____________________
Oh yeah, I had what I think might be a pretty cool idea for a piece of fiction. However, it will be ABOUT UBER, so those of you who are offended by such things, sorry, but I think the story will outweigh your objections. I also wanted to put Uber on general alert that if I actually do this, you may find yourself in the story. It won't be like an Uber-pulp or Uberia thing. I'm not asking what role you want to play. The way I envision it, you will play the role you play every day on here. If you appear in the story, I will try to keep the character "you" as close to the real "you" as I can. That being said, if you DON'T want to be in it let me know.
__________________
I'M A SCHMUCK
AlwaysanEagle - I DID get your e-mail and you are the roxxors. Awesome tips and I plan on using them as soon as I get to the doctor to figure out what is going on with my ankle. I think I might have torn some cartilage in there or something. The thing just ain't healing right.
Sorry I didn't write back to thank you, but as I said, I'm a schmuck.
__________________
RUN, DON'T WALK TO YOUR NEAREST RECORD STORE
That's right folks, I'm here to spread the Good News (as if you didn't already know). If however, you have been living under a rock, the news is this: Today, June 15, 2004 is the day that the new Beastie Boys CD "To the 5 Bouroughs" is released. I haven't heard any advanced reviews, I haven't downloaded any advanced tracks from it. I don't need to. If it is Beastie - it is gold. Nuff said.
_________________________
LOKI - I overpaid $2,200 on my taxes last year. I want to tweak my witholdings to quit that shit. I think the witholding calculator at IRS.gov is whacked. Any pointers? Also, and advanced word on what the 2004 tax brackets are going to look like?
User Reviews
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-02-02 12:37:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhhh decisions decisions oh man this is way too long
One one hand you can work with your best buddy and see your wife less [both excellent unless your wife is a good cook and is a hellcat in the sack]. You can also move up the corporate ladder faster, depending on if you're a slacker or not [you put in the hours and see the pay riiiiise, and possibly get some new underlings or even some temps and have to work a whole lot less]. Once you've had it with this job... this will look fucking awesome on your resume (esp. if you kick ass at this new job) and you will most definately be altered to a new, higher-up higher-paying job if you feel like it [more responsibilty here = less responsibility and more delegation somewheres else]. Plus, you'd be challenged like a motherfucker and learn a whoooole lot [and maybe be able to start your own company later].
On der other hand, that commute sounds like it sucks asshole from a chronic diahreah(?) sufferer. The pay cut sucks balls too. It doesn't sound like you have shit for stock options at said job. No benefits = HELL [better not fucking get sick or hurt or need dental... the ankle thing sounds like a cash vaacuum]. Plus if your wife is a good cook and a hellcat in the sack... why bust your ass for less pay, a longer commute and more hours if she's gonna be waiting up and pissed at you every night? And Dog forbid, what if you hate said job and end up hating best buddy? College loans are a bitch to pay back, too.
I dunno, if you're young, dont' have kids, ambitious, don't sleep and have lots stowed away for emergency health shit in the bank/stocks/funds/low-risk bonds (and in switzerland/carribean islands and/or mafia schemes), fucking go for it because it will help you out in the future if you want a cushy management job and you get to work with your best buddy. Who knows, you might be able to move closer in a less costly apt or house if you take new job. And when you bust your ass at said job and request for temps (who are soooooo underpaid, trust me) or underlings (entry-level workers who you can underpay), you'll have to work a whole lot less than 80 hours, which is the opposite of gay.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-02-02 10:39:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ah......
the old days.
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-06-21 15:31:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think...that you should stay put...unless you hate your job.
You kid will grow fast and all that commute time and money making and beer
drinking and golf...will change your focus...you will have
plenty of time for court when your kid is in high school and wants nothing to do
with you.
Submitted by buxton (user info) at 2004-06-15 14:51:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for draught Newcastle alone, that is the kicker of all ass
As for the job, thats a tough call... I have to agree with lojo, IF it will work making the move then go for it, but don't forsake your family for your career. I've seen many people do that, and in my eyes thats one of the worst mistakes you can make. Either way, best of luck.
Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2004-06-15 12:56:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Stay put. To be a large part of your child life is beyond measure.
Really think about it, I'm sure it is tempting (to work with your best friend) but really you giving up time with your family, money and quality of life for what is an essentially an unknownl.
I am getting the new Beastie album today, and I would kill to go to their concert.
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-06-15 12:05:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I remain amazed that the race managed to self-perpetuate when bathing only once per year was the norm.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-15 09:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would always choose happy over super-successful. If the new job will make you happier and will provide enough to live on, who cares about a cut in pay?
Also, reading through this whole this was one of the longest, but still amusing, things I've seen. Huzzah for rambling!
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-06-15 09:48:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-06-15 09:14:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Itchy rules. Seriously. No messing. Itchy is the shizzit.
_______________
What he said.
About the job - if you CAN do it, do it. Don't go for it if it's not workable, but you should always try for what you want if you can get it.
Heh. I just re-read that. Late night incoherency rocks.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-06-15 09:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess so Mr Itchy, but the thing is, if you don't try it how will you know?
Then again I am single with no dependants, worst case scenario? I work in McDonalds.
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2004-06-15 09:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Apollo - I will tell you what the wise old baristers I was working for in undergrad told me on my last day working for them. That being: "Law school sucks."
Wouldn't you know, they were right. I really have nothing good to say about the experience, but keep in mind my law school experience was somewhat colored by: My dad dying during finals my first year; my last grandfather dying during finals my third year; and my last grandmother dying as I was sitting for the bar exam. I'm no psychologist, but I think those events may have given me a somewhat darker view of those three years than I might have otherwise had.
What I can tell you is that, while the financial cost of going is high, there are definite benefits in terms of job opportunities. Theoretically, a law degree makes you more marketable in almost any area. Or at least that is the schpiel they used to give us around tuition time.
You are right about my wanting to practice with my homey. We were undergrad roommates who both decided to go to law school together. Once he graduated (he was a year behind me) we seriously looked at starting our own firm. The timing just wasn't right and in all honesty, he was sort of an unknown quantity. I wasn't sure I could tie the financial future of my family to his work-ethic or competence. Now however, he's proven himself in spades.
So maybe those dreams of the two of us conquering the world could really happen? I don't know. It IS hard to walk away from stability.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-06-15 09:14:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Itchy rules. Seriously. No messing. Itchy is the shizzit.
Firstly this is a bit strange 'cos I was going to put up a post VERY similar to the bit of yours asking about job switching.
I have a fairly well paid job, good benefits etc but I am seriously thinking of quitting it for, wait for it, law school.
I think you should do what you reeeeeally want to do. You are a long time dead.
I reckon you really want to work with your homey.
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2004-06-15 09:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh yeah, coming from someone with an hour-long commute and massive student loan debt, I say stay at your present job. Pay off those student loans and revel in the extra time you're not spending on the road.
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2004-06-15 09:10:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
B-Boys at the 9:30 Club on Thursday! WOO-HOO!!!!!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-06-15 09:06:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stay at your present job. The commute will make you have to wake up an hour earlier in the morning and you'll get home an hour later at night. Plus, the pay cut wouldn't be wise if you're still paying on your loans.
I think that I got the history trivia in an email before.
If you need a villain, I'm your guy.