Word Perfect Help Line (692 hits)
Category: Computers & InternetRating: -1.55 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Broz <www.the-avenue.us> (View user info) at 2004-06-15 10:58:55 EDT
This is a true story from the Word Perfect Help line which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired, however, he/she is currently sueing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee
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SERVICE: "Ridge Hall computer assistance, may I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
SERVICE: "What sort of trouble?"
CUSTOMER: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
SERVICE: "Went away?"
CUSTOMER: "They disappeared."
SERVICE: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
CUSTOMER: "Nothing."
SERVICE: "Nothing?"
CUSTOMER: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
SERVICE: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
CUSTOMER: "How do I tell?"
SERVICE: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
CUSTOMER: "What's a sea prompt?"
SERVICE: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
CUSTOMER: "There isn't any cursor. I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
SERVICE: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
CUSTOMER: "What's a monitor?"
SERVICE: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a T.V. Does it have a little light that tells you when it is on?"
CUSTOMER: "I don't know."
SERVICE: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
CUSTOMER: "Yes, I think so."
SERVICE: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
CUSTOMER: "Yes, it is."
SERVICE: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
CUSTOMER: "No."
SERVICE: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
CUSTOMER: "Okay, here it is."
SERVICE: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
CUSTOMER: "I can't reach."
SERVICE: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
CUSTOMER: "No."
SERVICE: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
CUSTOMER: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
SERVICE: "Dark?"
CUSTOMER: "Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
SERVICE: "Well, turn on the office light then."
CUSTOMER: "I can't."
SERVICE: "No? Why not?"
CUSTOMER: "Because there's a power failure."
SERVICE: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
CUSTOMER: "Well, yes. I keep them in the closet."
SERVICE: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
CUSTOMER: "Really? Is it that bad?"
SERVICE: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
CUSTOMER: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
SERVICE: "Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer."
User Reviews
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-06-15 20:53:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Cunt
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2004-06-15 15:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Pack your computer up...
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-06-15 15:29:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/35854
that drawing.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-06-15 15:17:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
piss off and die
Submitted by Adereterial (user info) at 2004-06-15 11:58:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Been there. Seen this. Got the fecking T-Shirt.
Nil Points.
Submitted by TripinDayZ420 (user info) at 2004-06-15 11:53:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-06-15 11:08:22 (#)
Ranking: -2
This has been posted on the Web about 387 times....don't beleive me?
www.generationterrorists.com/ quotes/misc/wordperfect_helpline.html
groups.or.id/pipermail/altuji/2003-December/000018.html
www.bleacheatingfreaks.com/ files/News.5.4/customerservice.htm
www.gopusa.com/cgi-bin/ ib3/ikonboard.pl?act=ST;f=21;t=12137
freespace.virgin.net/mike.jacqueline/dsa12cs.htm
www.glariosa.ch/ackermann/d/schraeges5.htm
p072.ezboard.com/fassessriskforumfrm2. showMessage?topicID=16.topic
www.write101.com/W.Tips55.htm
ppp.themenumenu.com/scripts/as_web.exe?humor_ pages+B+Why%20are%20your%20customer%20service%20c
its also been on uber before
________________________________________________
you da man, man. but i believed you in the first place.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-06-15 11:39:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
One post per day, twatwaffle.
Submitted by Swimproduct (user info) at 2004-06-15 11:16:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
........You........Are..........Fucking...........stupid............
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-06-15 11:08:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This has been posted on the Web about 387 times....don't beleive me?
www.generationterrorists.com/ quotes/misc/wordperfect_helpline.html
groups.or.id/pipermail/altuji/2003-December/000018.html
www.bleacheatingfreaks.com/ files/News.5.4/customerservice.htm
www.gopusa.com/cgi-bin/ ib3/ikonboard.pl?act=ST;f=21;t=12137
freespace.virgin.net/mike.jacqueline/dsa12cs.htm
www.glariosa.ch/ackermann/d/schraeges5.htm
p072.ezboard.com/fassessriskforumfrm2. showMessage?topicID=16.topic
www.write101.com/W.Tips55.htm
ppp.themenumenu.com/scripts/as_web.exe?humor_ pages+B+Why%20are%20your%20customer%20service%20c
its also been on uber before
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2004-06-15 11:03:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
haha.