Matt Maiorano's Back-From-The-Grave Movie Review: Gremlins 2 (1467 hits)
Category: Movies & TVLabels: BFTG
Rating: 2 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Matt Maiorano (View user info) at 2004-06-15 14:10:14 EDT
First off, if any of you haven't seen Gremlins 2 you have two choices:
1 - Rent it, curl up with a bucket of popcorn, and enjoy the antics of the Gremlins
2 - Saw your wrists open with a piece of paper until you begin to feel dizzy, then roll up the piece of paper into a tube, and ram it up your nose as hard as you can. If you happen to live, tell the doctors that you demand to see Gremlins 2.
OVERVIEW: A young couple must fight an army of little monsters who take over a high-tech corporate building after their cute and intelligent exotic pet is exposed to water.
The sole reason why this movie kicked so much ass is because of that little fuzzball, Gizmo. Nobody could forget the awesomeness that was Gizmo. First off, he was cute as a button. I bet you all wanted a Gizmo of your very own, but those damn stuffed animals didn't quite cut it, did they? And those shitty Furbys didn't help much either. Hell no, Gizmo was badass.
Remember how he took on that spider-gremlin? That kicked ass. He was pumping iron and everything, then he turned into a mini-Rambo and fired mini flaming arrows into the monster, thus saving the two hotties that were caught in its web of terror. Oh man, it just can't get any better than that.
Of course, there were always the hilarious parts. I know you all laughed your asses off when the gremlins took control over the movie, and started to make shadow-puppets. Then Hulk Hogan made his guest appearance and made all the gremlins put the movie back on. If that wasn't a stroke of genius, I don't know what is.
There are just so many more parts to name, but I fear that you won't enjoy it as much if I just rattled off every part that ruled. Actually, if I named every part that was awesome, I would probably just be writing out the entire movie all over again, and I'm just too damn lazy to do that. This movie is just absolutely delightful.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but if they're digitally enhancing and re-releasing classic movies on DVD like Alien and Star Wars, why the hell haven't they done Gremlins 2 yet? I mean, there's no way that either of those films ever even came close to the level of Gremlins 2. Right now I'm trying to draw up some sort of comparison, but it's not working. The masterpiece that is Gremlins 2 cannot be compared to anything. In fact, it kicks so much ass that I refuse to write about it anymore. I'm done here.
The Maio-Movie-Meter says:
PLOT: 10/10
EFFECTS: 10/10
HUMOR: 10/10
GIZMO BONUS: +2
OVERALL: An unbelievable 12/10!
Watch it again for old time's sake.
User Reviews
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-07-31 00:35:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The slut gremlin was funny lolz
Submitted by cnympho247 (user info) at 2004-06-15 23:48:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gizmo!!!!!! :-D
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-15 22:40:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Gremlins blew ass chunks
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-06-15 20:03:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gizmo fuckin ruled.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-15 19:58:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i fucking loved gizmo
Submitted by Snuggles_The_Assassin (user info) at 2004-06-15 18:56:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The best line of the movie was when the Super-Smart Gremlin blasted the other Gremlin, it was something like, "You see what I just did was fun, but not rational." fuck now I have to go rent it, watch that part and then post the real quote. Fuck you.
Submitted by Uberfuck (user info) at 2004-06-15 18:48:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's funny because I have never seen Gremlins 2, but have always wanted to. For whatever reason I just didn't make it when it was in theaters and never bothered to rent the video, even though whenever I see the box I think "Hey, I really should rent that sometime".
Part of me wants to go rent it right now, but I think it would be cooler to continue to live in ignorance of the "awesomeness" of the movie for my whole life, then regret it on my death bed.
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-06-15 18:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought that both of these movies were as ghey as a pink beachball, but your reviews certainly communicate your enthusiasm for the lower ebbs of the 80's - well done sir.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-06-15 18:28:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-06-15 14:42:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got yer Gizmo bonus, swingin'
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-06-15 14:41:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep
Submitted by TripinDayZ420 (user info) at 2004-06-15 14:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Goddamn who does Gizmo's nails and where do i get a gift certificate for my wife!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-06-15 14:38:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Packed full of cheesy '80s goodness.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-06-15 14:29:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, true. G2=Best flick ever.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-06-15 14:27:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm still waiting on gremlins 3.
"Randal: I'd also like to mention that his Honor Judge Reinhold has never been in a Speilberg picture either.
Judge Reinhold: I was in Gremlins!
Randal: But not Gremlins 2.
Judge Reinhold: Hey, you're right. I'm going to allow it." - Clerks, the Animated Series
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-06-15 14:15:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, that's the truest and best review you've ever done