The almost perfect Murder (1025 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.18 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by tshia (View user info) at 2004-06-16 06:43:51 EDT
Bob Lane was the last to know, he would be the first to forget.
The call came at night. The sheriff, Andy Simms was on the phone, Andy had to tell Bob the news. They found his 18-year-old daughter, Betsy, dead outside a local gas station, and there was evidence of a struggle. Andy Simms said it seemed Betsy had been raped before she died, he said that DNA tests could identify her killer, her rapist, and that they would be ready shortly. Bob couldn't wait.
He talked to his ex-wife Martha, Betsy's mother; the sheriff had called her first. She said she knew the gas station attendant, she said Betsy knew the gas station attendant, she said she thought the attendant was the killer, she said she thought the attendant was the rapist. The attendant's name was Kyle Myers, he was also 18, he had recently dated Betsy, Betsy's friends described him as violent, abusive. They had recently broken up. Bob thought the attendant was the killer, the rapist, too. He told Martha not to tell the police about Kyle.
By midnight the next night Bob Lane was insane with rage, it would be a week before the DNA tests returned, a week before the police would be sure. Even then there would be no justice, all that the killer, all the rapist would receive was a jail sentence, was that justice? Was that fair? Bob didn't believe so, and Martha hadn't told the police about Kyle. Bob had a Kimber 1911, a powerful handgun. He kept it to protect himself. Tonight it would protect his family. Bob called his wife on his cell phone, and didn't hang up.
Bob took the gun, he took his car keys, he drove to the gas station. The police had finished their investigation there, everything had been cleaned, the gas station was open for business, and behind the desk sat an older man. Bob went in.
"I'm looking for Kyle Myers" Bob said upon entering.
"He only closes Mondays and Fridays" The old man called, unconcerned.
"Where does he live?"
"Why should I tell you that?" The old man was more curious than indignant. Bob looked in his wallet and found a 50-dollar bill, he pulled it out.
"Do you have a surveillance camera here?"
"No tape in it" The old man returned.
Bob drew his gun, "Then tell me where he lives or die" malice filled his voice. His daughter had been killed, violated. Nothing would stop his justice.
Moments later Bob left the station and went to his car. He had the address now. When he reached the house the old man had told him he saw someone was sitting in the front yard. Bob parked his car and got out. He saw it was an older boy, maybe a young man, either way a corpse. Bob asked "You Kyle Myers?"
"Yeah"
"Why are you out here?"
"This girl I knew, she, well, she" The boy couldn't continue.
"Her name Betsy Myers?"
"Yeah, hey, who the hell are you anyway?" The man stood up.
Bob tossed him his car keys; the boy caught them in the air. Bob drew his gun, get in the car, you are driving. The boy was scared; he got up fast and went to the driver's side. The doors were unlocked and Bob slid into the passenger side keeping his gun trained on the man.
"Listen man, I didn't do anything, who are you?" The boy's voice quaked as he asked.
"I'm Robert Lane. Drive." The boy obeyed, and Bob directed him out of town. They drove for hours.
"What are you going to do to me?" The boy asked.
"My wife can't stand having you in town, she can't stand looking at you. I have arranged for someone to take you out of the state, prison wouldn't be justice anyways".
"I didn't do anything"
"Stop here" Bob commanded, the boy did. An abandoned stretch of road in the middle of the night, nobody was around. "Get out"
"Who would meet us here?" The man demanded.
"Out" Bob released the safety on his gun. The boy got out of the car. "Kneel"
"What? No please, please don't" The boy was terrified. He was shaking visibly.
"Kneel" Bob pulled back the hammer and the boy knelt. Bob placed the barrel on the back of the boy's neck, angled upwards towards his skull.
"Don't, please" The boy was crying now.
"I hope you go to hell" Bob said, but no one heard him. His words were inaudible over the gunfire. A single bullet tore through Kyle's head and it killed him instantly. Bob had a shovel in the back of his car, and he buried Kyle Myers on the side of the road. He walked a ways away from the road and dug another hole. He buried his gun. Then Bob returned to his car and drove home.
The police would never find the body of Kyle Myers, and if they had they could have never proved the killer. The murder weapon was hidden and it would never be found. The gas station attendant could not identify the gunman who had demanded to know where Kyle lived. Bob Lane's cell phone records showed he was in a conversation with his wife during the time the murder took place. Martha was quite willing to vouch for him. Indeed it seemed Bob Lane had committed the perfect murder, until about a week later that is, then the DNA test returned. The rapist was not Kyle Myers.
The night Bob Lane learned the identity of the rapist he drove to Kyle's grave, he walked out and found the grave of his handgun. He dug out his Kimber 1911 and place the barrel in his mouth. That night Bob Lane forgot his daughter, forgot her rape, forgot her murder, and forgot his murder.
User Reviews
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-06-21 19:06:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why, oh why did I do that to myself?
It's like looking at your shit after taking a big dump--you just can't not look.
That's the best compliment I can pay to your...uh...writing 'ability'.
So have a zero. That's what I feel your life is worth.
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-06-16 18:17:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Somewhat cliched, but then, there's nothing original under the sun, particularly deus ex machina conclusions to Ubersite tales. My main problem lies with the grammatical lapses, of which there are many.
Submitted by DoctorMonoculous (user info) at 2004-06-16 17:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You write at about my level.
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-16 15:54:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Saw it coming a mile away. Would have been more satisfactory if Kyle had been the mother's ex er & she has planted the DNA on her daughter after they fought & Betsy was killed.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-06-16 15:32:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Predictable ending, but i've seen worse.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:01:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
whatinthefuckwasthat?
Submitted by legallady (user info) at 2004-06-16 08:18:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought it was one of those "whodunit" clue things...like there is a dead fish, glass,
water, what happened??? Lets say Kyle did fuck the girl and kill her....
would that have really been the perfect murder? A very wide trail of evidence ...and plus
the family would always be suspect in a vengence revenge killing...
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-06-16 07:53:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I felt nothing for the people in the story and the halting narration was flat out distracting. It sounded like a telegraph communication.
She was murdered stop
she was raped stop
He was mad stop
He would make someone pay stop
Submitted by Fr057m0urn3 (user info) at 2004-06-16 07:50:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for effort
Submitted by squattail (user info) at 2004-06-16 07:50:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Good thing you said she was 18 and not 17, otherwise this might be an illegal creative writing piece. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT.
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2004-06-16 07:39:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this was so unpredictable. i never saw the ending coming!!!! how do you do the voodoo that you do?
-Black Ninja
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2004-06-16 07:37:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool story.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-16 07:27:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bob drew his gun, "Then tell me where he lives or die" malice filled his voice
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA