"Hello, my name is Andrew, and I'm an alcoholic" - Six months later (4848 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.54 on 133 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by hidden101 <hidden101.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-06-16 08:36:03 EDT
addiction is a crazy thing...
it can make a healthy mind go completely insane and it can make a good person do terrible things. you think you have it all together, you're on the right track, you're getting promoted at work, everyone loves you, life is just going great. then one day, you have a drink. no harm there, right? most people drink. then you start to do it some more. no big deal, right? you're just young and having fun. it's not hurting anything. your life is still going great, you're still on the right track. then, you start to do it some more, and you realize that you can't remember the last time you went a whole day without drinking. in fact, you realize that you haven't eaten in a week. your body has been running purely on alcohol and maybe the occasional bag of chips or candy bar out of the vending machine. then, people start to avoid you. they tell you that you've changed and they don't like it. you start coming in to work late (and drunk, because you can't function without the alcohol). your coworkers start to notice. work stops being pleasant and your performance on the job has sunk so low, it's pathetic. you stop talking to your family. they leave you messages, wondering where you've been, but you don't get them because you're passed out drunk. you wake up depressed every morning, so you have a few drinks to start the day so maybe you won't feel so bad. you wreck your car and then tell everyone that the roads were just wet and you didn't expect it to be so slick around that turn, but you laugh it off, because your insurance company just bought you a new car. then you start spending almost your whole paycheck on alcohol. you miss bills, because you spent all your money. then you pawn some things to be able to pay the bills, and on the way to pay them, you stop at a bar just to get a quick drink, but end up staying for hours and spending all the money you had from pawning your things (which wasn't much, because you pawned the good stuff last pay period). you don't have enough to pay your bills now, but there's a little bit left for an 18 pack of beer that you know you'll need tomorrow. you'll need that 18 pack, because it's your only friend now, since all of your other ones won't talk to you anymore. well, except for the ones that go out drinking with you, but those aren't friends. those are "drinking buddies". then you realize that alcohol has completely taken over your life. you realize that you always find any excuse you can to drink, and instead of facing your problems, you get drunk to try and forget about them. you realize that you can't even walk up the stairs to your room without getting out of breath. you feel tired all the time. the smell of alcohol emits from your pores. you look in the mirror and don't see the twinkle in your eyes anymore, rather, they look dead. your skin is white as a ghost, and you have gotten fat and lost that muscle you had when you used to be in great shape. you feel abdominal pains every day, and you spit up blood sometimes. the doctor tells you that your liver is in very bad shape, and may fail soon if you don't make a drastic change and stop drinking immediately....
....your whole world has just spiraled completely out of control.
how did you get here? what happened to the good person that used to be so happy, so full of energy, so kind and caring, so driven to succeed? how many people had you hurt, besides just yourself? how much damage has been done to your life, and can it ever be repaired?
those were the questions i found myself asking when i looked in the mirror after i had experienced all of the above things. i had to change. i didn't want to destroy my life. i remembered all of the goals i had set for myself, and realized i would never be able to achieve anything in this state. i couldn't live the rest of my life like this. i probably wouldn't have made it much longer anyway.
quitting is hard when you're alone. thankfully, i had someone to help me through it, and i am forever grateful. i've always been able to do anything i put my mind to, without anyone else's help, but this time i knew i needed support. this was the lowest point of my life. i couldn't do it alone. it was the hardest thing i've ever had to overcome, but i tried my best. it was hard to convince my mind that i didn't need alcohol anymore. sometimes i would find myself trying to rationalize the desire to drink. "just one drink. it's no big deal. you can handle just one." i would snap out of it, and just try to keep the thoughts out of my head. i felt like i was going insane. it was a mess in that head of mine, but somehow, i kept it together. my body, however, was a different story. it NEEDED that alcohol, and there was no convincing it otherwise like i was able to do with my mind. i would wake up in a puddle of my own sweat with terrible hot flashes. then it would get cold. then it would get hot. my whole body ached terribly. i kept telling myself to hold on, and that i was going to make it. i was terrified to think i wouldn't be able to function normally without alcohol. my hands would shake violently when i felt like drinking, which was almost 24/7. ever see the movie Leaving Las Vegas? remember the part where Nicholas Cage can't even sign the check because his hands were shaking so badly? then he goes and gets a drink, and seems perfectly normal, and comes back to the bank and signs the check. that happened to me. i was at the store, and the guy in front of me had a couple bottles of alcohol. the people around me had done a good job of keeping alcohol out of my daily routine, so when i saw them, i went insane. i almost dropped the things i was buying, and my hands started shaking badly. when it was time for me to check out, i tried to write the check, but i couldn't. everyone was staring at me, like i had Parkinsons disease. i pulled out my credit card instead, and handed it to the cashier and asked her to swipe it for me, because "i wasn't feeling very well."
my body eventually adjusted without alcohol. i was making progress. it felt good, but i still felt tired all the time, and unmotivated. i had to change that. i wanted to feel normal again. i hadn't been myself for so long i almost had forgotten who i was. it would all come back to me. i had faith.
a friend of mine told me she would help. she made a deal with me- she'd spot me in the weight room if i'd help make her a better runner. see, i used to be a very intense runner. i ran with two guys that were training for the olympics. i used to run about fourteen miles a day and spend two hours in the gym, lifting weights. i was in about the greatest shape a human could get in. i sure did miss that. ten miles? no problem. i can knock that out in under an hour. that period of my life was long gone now... so i started going to the gym every day. i was very weak. i couldn't even lift half of what i used to be able to lift. i had lost most of my muscle mass, and gained quite a bit of fat. guys at the gym looked at me funny. was this skinny guy with a beer belly really working out with a girl? i wanted to give up every day, but my friend never let me. she kept me going. i kept pushing her on the track, too (she has a great stride now, can go farther, and is much faster). eventually, i lost the beer belly, and the other fat on my body. i could kind of see my abs again. my chest and arms were getting bigger, and i was getting much stronger. now, instead of a flabby 150lbs, i'm at a more muscular 160lbs. i have more energy. i'm happier. i'm back on track. i'm also wiser, and my perspective on a lot of things has changed. i've come a long way, but it's not over yet. i'm going to get an upper endoscopy performed in a couple weeks to see what kind of damage the drinking has done to my insides. i often have problems with my throat, and my stomach. the alcohol tore me up inside pretty good. i'm crossing my fingers that the doctors will be able to fix me up eventually.
i never thought it would happen to me.
addiction is a crazy thing...
User Reviews
Submitted by Wallstreet (user info) at 2005-02-05 02:59:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I tried laying off the booze for a little bit.......
It worked wonders. Went to meetings and had to hear everyones sob story.
Thinking of "the program" and "the steps" every day of my life wasnt going to cut it.
Now I am just drinking my as off on the weekends and not touchin it during the week.
Thats MY program!
Submitted by heater (user info) at 2004-08-09 19:43:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A little shot of heat beats a BJ hands down....get it?
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2004-06-28 01:19:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by skitty (user info) at 2004-06-25 11:29:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I've had it with you and your incessant whining about your deteriorating health (all of which could have been prevented), your agnosticism coupled with the strong belief that God truly hates you, your chicken and cheese diet, and your recent "cancer scare." The last two years has been one big pity party and everyone was invited. This said, I didn't read your post. So sit on it. And spin.
Just joshing, guy.
As a foreword, I would never do you. You are repulsive and you have um, unusual equipment. But I did notice that you looked great the the last time I stopped by the house this week. To come to think of it, I don't think I ever complimented you. It was always 'Hey, Tater Head!' or 'Remember Virginia?' or 'How's the b-acne?'
The alcoholic Andy kicked so much ass, no offense. However, I do remember cruising with you down 410 to our house in the Southside, right after stopping at Subway (the same day I introduced you to your imaginary girlfriend), and talking about finding some moderation in your life. You seem like you're headed in that direction. Or relapse. Who knows.
Now if only you can get your facial hair to grow evenly. AND BE NICE TO MR. KITTY!
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-06-23 08:43:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1065378545878925842
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-22 19:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I made a point?......Really?........Whatever little man...keep living UBER large....You've found your niche..(albeit electronically)..Relish it..Protect it..and remember to feed it...We'd all like to be an couple of inches taller in real life. Fancy that, You've found a place where you can be. Good on you kiddo.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-22 18:52:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thank you for making my point about you.
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-22 18:35:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
kills me.......you write all this crap down..........wanting people to admire you for your strength in getting over on this beast... when its your weakness that got you into this fucking mess...oxymoron for life I'd say...I mean..WHY?........Are your problems so horrible?..Anytime you want to play "Problem" war I'm game.
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-22 18:06:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Get off my post, asshole. for being as old as you are, you sure don't have much in the ways of maturity or intelligence" said the kettle......I wouldn't know personally, but I hear DT's are a BITCH. You most certainly are a human misery parade right now, Andrew. Throw me some beads too. Reap what you sow, for you are the master of that domain. I do feel sorry for your plight. No...wait...no I don't.....you're the dipshit that got yourself INTO that mess being cool at parties and pubs....whatever.........here's a shovel.........get yourself out...and please pass me a tissue. This is a touching story ........CRY ME A RIVER
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-22 17:52:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thats because you're "trendy' right? dipshit.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-06-22 12:24:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is wrong. You might wanna see this Hidden.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/36376
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-21 21:34:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry, i meant to say "put question marks at the end of STATEMENTS".
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-21 21:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
get off my post, asshole. for being as old as you are, you sure don't have much in the ways of maturity or intelligence. did you have a formal education? if so, you might be able to win a lawsuit against the schools you went to if you show them how you can't spell worth a goddamn years later and put question marks at the end of sentences.
ps- i didn't see any double standards contained within Lisa's reply. people are quick to shout hypocrisy when they don't have a goddamn clue what someone just said to them just because they think it's an effective way to refute someone's argument.
pss- you'll be happy to know i don't have the "miami vice" stubble anymore. i was growing a goatee, moron- http://www28.brinkster.com/andrewrules/peons_all_of_them.JPG
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-21 21:10:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Andy..........I think I've found one of your "hidden" roots.......<rolling my eyes towards Lisa's direction>
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-21 21:06:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2004-06-21 19:35:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd like to remind most of you, just one more time, that I fucking hate you from the bottom of my soul. I've never seen a bigger bunch of know-it-alls than I do on Ubersite. "You're this, and what you need to do is that. Trust my advice, these few paragraphs about you grant me exhaustive understanding of your situation." Just shut the hell up. Rarely do I read posts requesting some personal input, yet for some reason you're all willing to offer your worthless judgments and crappy advice, like there's a significant chance they might apply to some Internet stranger, or that he'll actually give a shit about them. That's something about human nature that completely astounds me. We all seem to think we matter much, much more than we do. Why can't you just rate the goddamn post according to your liking, maybe try to write something entertaining, but forget about making personal assessments and offering your nuggets of wisdom, like you're Confucius, or something. Few of you have ever met Andy or anyone else on this website, and I can almost guarantee you that few people on here give the smallest gerbil turd about what you honestly think, you ignorant, irritating wastes of life.
====================================================================================================
"Sounds like someone has a case of the MONDAYS"
For some reason, that pent up frustration fucking turns me on to no end?
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-21 21:03:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm double standards are quite tasty...and sharp.....wouldn't you agree?
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2004-06-21 20:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Booze is a motherfucker. It takes a man to face it head on.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2004-06-21 19:35:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd like to remind most of you, just one more time, that I fucking hate you from the bottom of my soul. I've never seen a bigger bunch of know-it-alls than I do on Ubersite. "You're this, and what you need to do is that. Trust my advice, these few paragraphs about you grant me exhaustive understanding of your situation." Just shut the hell up. Rarely do I read posts requesting some personal input, yet for some reason you're all willing to offer your worthless judgments and crappy advice, like there's a significant chance they might apply to some Internet stranger, or that he'll actually give a shit about them. That's something about human nature that completely astounds me. We all seem to think we matter much, much more than we do. Why can't you just rate the goddamn post according to your liking, maybe try to write something entertaining, but forget about making personal assessments and offering your nuggets of wisdom, like you're Confucius, or something. Few of you have ever met Andy or anyone else on this website, and I can almost guarantee you that few people on here give the smallest gerbil turd about what you honestly think, you ignorant, irritating wastes of life.
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-21 16:57:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Some cite the lack of control over addictions......I think its more a lack of Charactor personally. I applaude the fact that you have beaten it to a point. I hope you have found the deeper roots of your problems that have caused you to stumble. Maybe a dose of maturity and different friends are what the doctor ordered. I've seen some of your video post's and to be frank..you're still a typical drunk punk with regards to adult things and adult situations. Which in itself is a shame because you're a good looking, smart and somewhat likeable guy. Not to blow up you're already T-Rex sized ego, but just like in "GOODWILL HUNTING", are your friends holding you back?.....
p.s. The "Miami Vice" stubble thing went out back in the mid-eighties
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-06-21 14:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, I read the responses - at least until I got bored of the whole thing - started skimming - and quite frankly I'm surprised at the utter bullshit that is being spewed here. What the fuck is wrong with you people. I don't give one solid Mexican food induced shit what you have or have not done. OOH you have a cocaine problem - well congratulations, you're a fucktard. What exactly does that have to do with Andy's drinking problem? No one here has a patent on misery nor do any of us have all the answers. So fucking what if you beat some addiction of your own and think you know the score. Write your own post if you have the balls for it. I think that what Andy did here is commendable. In fact, I wonder if he had read something like this back before he started drinking if he could have taken a different path. When I was reading it, what struck me was that this whole time that we were all laughing at drunk hidden posts, I had no idea how far he had sunk and kind of feel bad about not recognizing it at the time. I'm proud of what he's accomplished and pulling for his continued success. There are people out here who are concerned about him and care. I'm glad he wrote this, I'm sure it was quite cathartic.
Someone, your concern about him here is quite touching. Really it brought a tear to my eye.
in conclusion:
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-06-21 11:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good show old boy
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2004-06-21 11:34:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good for you man. It isn't over though. Don't get cocky. You could be right back there tomorrow if you let your guard down.
Still, I'm glad to hear things are going well for you. Will keep you in my thoughts with regard to your upcoming tests.
Your story is inspiring too, thanks for that.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-06-21 07:36:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You need to celebrate your new found health with a serious bash. A two-keg celebration with friends.
Strippers & lots of booze, drugs, etc...
Oh? You can't do that anymore? Well what fun is your pathetic life now? You'll probably get cancer anyways and die miserable instead of with a happy buzz you chose to ignore and condemn as evil.
Submitted by Rosencrantz (user info) at 2004-06-21 07:03:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Anyone else think that hidden101 looks a little like Christopher Lambert in Highlander?
I need a beer.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-06-21 04:45:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah sure thing EH, what's the internet for?
But out of interest...why DO you have imaginary friends?
Submitted by EH (user info) at 2004-06-21 04:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where the hell are the servers for uber bart? The time is off by almost 3/4 of an hour.
Submitted by EH (user info) at 2004-06-21 04:41:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Everyone needs to be told they're doing a good job, you can't rely on telling yourself you're doing great all the time."
This is pretty good stuff, do you mind if I use this at my next shrink appt... My doctor has been nagging me as to why I would need to create imaginary friends.... Then he started asking me why my imaginary friends needed imaginary friends too.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-06-21 03:48:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The problem is, you feel the need to express it over a fucking website so you can get alot of "awww" and "keep strong, big guy!" to make you shitty self esteem reach just a little bit higher.
----------
This is where human nature is hard to describe. If you ask me my opinion, I say that Andy probably did post this even slightly to get some sort of recognition for his achievement. But there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone needs to be told they're doing a good job, you can't rely on telling yourself you're doing great all the time.
And anyway, posting here, while not always lovely, is an experience, and it does give you a wider view of the world. Ubersite is a melting pot of cultures, ideas, opinions, personalities, and that all serves to make everyone else wiser. Sharing information (not just facts) is a fantastic achievement, so why not use it?
Also, I think I need to briefly comment on Andy's role in the andy-someone argument down there: If "someone" really had gone through that addiction and come through it, then he's gone through the same as you. You have to remember that coming through alcoholism sure as hell made you much wiser...but only much wiser than you were. There are people everywhere who suffer, and go through all sorts of pains. Yours is just another form of suffering; you're not any wiser than them for going through it, you just know the finer details of what you suffered.
Keep on with the good work.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-21 03:27:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I believe the question is what motivates people to turn to such substances when they know fully well the possible consequences."
a very good question.
the only thing i had ever been addicted to before i joined the military was running. it was a natural high. i didn't know anything about addiction. i just thought people got addicted to any drug (legal or illegal) because they were worthless pieces of crap. now that i've lived a little longer and experienced a little more, i understand. it can happen to anyone. some of the brightest minds of the last century were addicts. it's not a matter of stupidity. Winston Churchill couldn't pass up a drink to save his life. W.C. Fields put down a quart of scotch a night. Hemingway, Edgar Allen Poe, C.S. Lewis, George Washingston Carver, Thomas Paine; i can name plenty. the thing about alochol is that the ill effects of alcohol consumption is not taken seriously because the enjoyment of alcohol is socially accepted and even encouraged in many cultures. the process by which an occasional drinker becomes an excessive drinker, and then finally becomes dependent on drinking can be gradual. a lot of people don't understand this. someone can call me a piece of crap alcoholic here because they can control their alcohol consumption now, and then find themselves wondering why they started drinking every day a year later.
ok, i'm done preaching. i just hope that my story can help open some eyes and make people think. if even one person can get something out of my story, i'm happy. addiction can destroy your life and you never even see it coming. you only live once, so make it good.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-06-21 03:25:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantastic Andy. Although JMG said it perfectly at the very beginning, I wanna say that I'm very happy for you. It takes a lot of will power and resolution to do what you've done.
Well done.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-20 23:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Alwaysaneagle, I believe I was being retarded before, but I have to disagree because addiction to any substance is not isolated. I have a family history of alcoholics and drink socially... I don't find myself addicted to it like my two brothers who grew up in the same environment as I have. Those same two brothers are more risk takers than I am and that's why I threw that out there. Addiction is also a degree mental. I can't say if it is more physical than mental, but I believe the question is what motivates people to turn to such substances when they know fully well the possible consequences.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle <notloggedin> at 2004-06-20 11:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Also, I don't believe that bullshit list below listed by some user about ranking addiction to a specific substance. I would never place alcohol addiction higher than cocaine because alcohol is legal. There is a huge risk difference between being addicted to alcohol (which you can get legally from a store) and being addicted to cocaine (an illegal substance the results in jail time). I believe risk to using something was not a variable in that bullshit study."
It has nothing to do with penalties under the law. It's talking about the physically addictive properties of the various drugs. Risk doesn't have anything to do with physical addiction. Maybe rationalization, but not the actual addictive properties.
And from way back...rant, rant, rant, and then wraps up with..."no ciggarettes in two days"
No cigarettes in two days and you present that like it makes you better than Hidden? Ok.
Hidden, I am extremely impressed with your accomplishment, which it is. That is a wonderful picture of you, and you look happy. Congratulations, dahlin, and hang in there.
Submitted by EH (user info) at 2004-06-20 01:19:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You made a typo!!!!11!!!!!11!1!!!! one.
"he doesn't used alcohol to deal with every problem,"
Submitted by Britta and Jennifer <brittalindsay_45.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-06-20 01:13:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Andrew,
We know what you are going through. Our cousin is suffering from addiction with drugs. And it is really hard to see this person that he has become. We are very proud of you for not drinking anymore. We will keep you in our prayers. May God Bless you Always... *Britta and Jennifer*
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-20 00:31:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Murphy, i wasn't going to reply to anything at all, but i got in a bad mood, and completely forgot that it's useless to try and make someone understand where you're coming from when you know good and well they don't want to listen because they are too set in their ways. i'm not going to do it anymore. you're completely right. anyway, i'm looking forward to your email. actually, i'm probably just going to call you tonight to see what you've been up to. i haven't heard from you in a while, and i've been wondering lately where you've been.
Random Joe- it's no big deal. Murphy wasn't saying you have to experience rock bottom addiction to know hardships. he was just saying that passing judgement on someone without walking a mile in their shoes isn't cool. sometimes people turn to vices to deal with problems, and that's a normal part of human behavior. a buddy of mine said that when his brother died, he went to the bar and drank and cried. he doesn't used alcohol to deal with every problem, but abusing yourself when you feel like you just got hit with a ton of bricks is a part of humanity. unfortunately, i did it every day. i was able to break away from it, thankfully, and this is my story. i'm happy now. i'm not looking for pity. i just wanted people to learn a little bit about how your life can go the opposite of how you expected it to. some people here just want to lash out in anger and not listen. they say they understand, but they don't. people that chain smoke cigarettes have called me a piece of shit alcoholic and told me i have no restraint and that's why i was an alcoholic, but i guarantee you that those same people couldn't quit smoking that same day. they are addicted. i was just addicted to something else. (well, i was addicted to nicotine, too. there's still lots of times when i get the urge to smoke.). after a while, it's not just your mind. your body needs that substance to function normally because it's used to it. when you take that away from your body, it reacts in negative ways. the shakes were the worst part of quitting drinking. the night sweats and hot flashes were pretty bad, too. sometimes i felt like i would pass out. anyway, i just hope i can educate people a little more. that's all i wanted to do. Murphy is right, i don't have to justify anything. i'm happy and sober now, and that's the way i want to be. they can take all the low blows they want at me, but i'm bigger than that.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-06-19 22:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-19 22:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thinking about it, I'm being a dick. Sorry about that stuff below. What I don't understand is why you turn to this stuff. I drink all the time, but don't use it as an escape. When I get stressed out I go for a run, hike, or just get into something that keeps me busy.
I'm apologizing because I've been drinking Heinekens for the last few hours and realizing how badly I felt about my two brothers. Best wishes, Andy.
Random Joe
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-19 21:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's right Murphy; only addicts know what hardships are in life. The fact that I have never been stupid enough to use alcohol as an outlet for my problems makes me naive compared to all those that have turned to it.
From now on, I'll drink my problems away so I can truly understand hardships.
Submitted by Murphy1844 (user info) at 2004-06-19 18:37:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why, oh why, do you try to justify yourself hidden? Coming from someone whose been there... fuck, whose still THERE, I can say that, unless another person has been in the position you were once in (and hopefully never return to) they will. not. understand. I don't know why you defend yourself man... I know this is a sensitive topic but if someone rips you for "one-upping" or other such nonsense, LET IT SLIDE. THEY DON'T "GET IT."
This site attracts a lot of angry people who are much too pussy to evenly and honestly express themselves in real life. They come here to put people down and express their anger... so they can feel better about themselves. I can't say I'm not one of those people from time to time but I think you should be more aware of this, hidden, and once again ignore these people. Your feelings are your feelings and to the people who think they know you and can "read" you and so forth, fuck them. The only reason I even bring this up is my anger that you constantly feel you need to justify yourself.
It also pisses me off when someone has the courage to honestly talk about themselves and their weaknesses and people climb all over it and use it as a way to attack someone. Fucking people.
Sorry if that was preachy.
I'll email you later... and again, congratulations. I admire your will-power and honesty.
Murphy
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-19 17:26:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes, John lives.
this is not the place to discuss the details, though. i will tell you later.
Submitted by EH (user info) at 2004-06-19 16:43:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lisa,
john didn't kill himself but we thought he did. Apparently his girlfriend suggested it to crash, and some things lined up and crash assumed he killed himself. In reality he just kinda disapeared for a few days.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2004-06-19 13:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
John killed himself, Andrew?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-19 04:07:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I gave you a +2 because I was hoping for intellectual debate (which has been lacking on your part)"
yeah, you're a real intellectual juggernaut...
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-06-19 02:43:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
and i never said a cocaine addiction couldn't compare, and you know it. i just said that if he really had a bad cocaine addiction, he wouldn't be talking like this. he told me i didn't know anything about a cocaine addiction
-------
Fuck you you lying piece of shit. I never said anything of that sort, I was simply trying to say that I have been addicted too. You're right, this isn't a pissing contest, which is why in all my time writing on ubersite i have rarely, if EVER discussed my past addictions. But you know what, your right. You can say your the victim and not anyone else(like me), you can say your special and have had more shit to deal with over your 23 WISE years of living, and you can say I have no clue what I'm talking about. You avoid valid discussion matter and piss all over sidepoints and "im better thatn you"'s. You know what, thats fine. But in about two mnutes, a very attractive girl will be walking out of my bathroom and stripping naked right into my bed, and at this moment, I could care less about your "addiction" (read: cries for help, self-pity, arrogance/ignorance, self-indulgence, no restraint) and instead I praise the beauties of alcohol and how it impares judgement.
P.S.- I'm drunk, you're jealous, aren't you you lonely bitch. Again, stop putting words in my mouth. Also, thank you K.M and Kaelic, perhaps two of the more intellegent people who see through you "help me i need attention"'s.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-19 04:01:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i think i've argued my points quite well, and i don't feel the need for any further debate. i don't care what any of you think about me. you can say what you like, but i know, and others know this isn't a pity party, but go ahead with your benighted assumptions. i've never asked anyone for pity in my life, and i certainly didn't ask for it here. like i said, i just felt like telling my story. i'm sorry if you didn't want to read it, but no one forced any of you to do so. the only thing i wanted to convey with my story is that it can happen to anyone and i was hoping my story might help others that can relate. no one plans to be an addict. it has nothing to do with lack of mental capacity or restraint. people don't just say "i want to be addicted to drugs". my buddy John certainly didn't say that. he blew his brains out last night after years of addiction to coke, heroin, and alcohol and he never asked for pity once in his life, no matter how shitty things got for him. most addicts don't want your pity. they just don't want your judgements until you've walked a mile in their shoes.
i'm done with you, someone. you're not proving any points to me, but instead are talking worthless nonsense. i'm not going to argue with someone that doesn't have the capacity to understand. like i said, anyone that knows me can tell you i never asked for pity once. my attitude about it is that shit happens. in the end, i'm happy with how things turned out for me and people can judge me all they want, but it doesn't bother me. i don't expect anyone to understand. i don't need for any of you to understand. it won't change anything. one lesson i've learned from life quite well is that people are going to try and kick you in the balls any chance they get for varying reasons. you have to let it roll off your back. take your shots. i'm fucking bulletproof.
Kenny, just fucking drop it. i'm tired of arguing about something so silly. i don't care about your girlfriend. i was hoping i could help you realize that there will be plenty of others (assuming you can prevent your antisocial tendencies from driving them away). i wasn't insulting your intelliegence, but i do think you are a bit immature when it comes to certain aspects of life. that's not a crack on you, i really do think that. you're too stubborn to get what i'm saying. you think i'm trying to argue with you, but i'm trying to help you out in my own cruel way (i'm not going to anymore, though. you're too fucking stubborn). the last time i cried over a girl was when i was a teenager. you know what my dad told me? "suck it up." and i did. i quit crying about it and just met another girl. suck it up and wait for the next one to come along. crying about it and posting triste poems doesn't help you in any way whatsoever.
RIP John
1970-2004
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-06-19 02:47:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Also, I gave you a +2 because I was hoping for intellectual debate (which has been lacking on your part) and gave you a -2 on a previous reply because I was frustated with your stupidity with replying to my inquires. Come on, you have a [much] larger head then normal, there must be a semi-intellegent brain in there somewhere......I mean, you do understand the concept of capalizing words, DONT YOU?
Murphy- You rule, glad to see you back on a side note.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-06-19 02:43:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and i never said a cocaine addiction couldn't compare, and you know it. i just said that if he really had a bad cocaine addiction, he wouldn't be talking like this. he told me i didn't know anything about a cocaine addiction
-------
Fuck you you lying piece of shit. I never said anything of that sort, I was simply trying to say that I have been addicted too. You're right, this isn't a pissing contest, which is why in all my time writing on ubersite i have rarely, if EVER discussed my past addictions. But you know what, your right. You can say your the victim and not anyone else(like me), you can say your special and have had more shit to deal with over your 23 WISE years of living, and you can say I have no clue what I'm talking about. You avoid valid discussion matter and piss all over sidepoints and "im better thatn you"'s. You know what, thats fine. But in about two mnutes, a very attractive girl will be walking out of my bathroom and stripping naked right into my bed, and at this moment, I could care less about your "addiction" (read: cries for help, self-pity, arrogance/ignorance, self-indulgence, no restraint) and instead I praise the beauties of alcohol and how it impares judgement.
P.S.- I'm drunk, you're jealous, aren't you you lonely bitch. Again, stop putting words in my mouth. Also, thank you K.M and Kaelic, perhaps two of the more intellegent people who see through you "help me i need attention"'s.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-19 01:10:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Also, I don't believe that bullshit list below listed by some user about ranking addiction to a specific substance. I would never place alcohol addiction higher than cocaine because alcohol is legal. There is a huge risk difference between being addicted to alcohol (which you can get legally from a store) and being addicted to cocaine (an illegal substance the results in jail time). I believe risk to using something was not a variable in that bullshit study.
Submitted by random joe at 2004-06-19 01:09:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
People get dumped all the time. Hmmm... people drink alcohol all the time, but not everybody because alcoholics. Don't give me that genetic bullshit either. If behavior is genetic, then ALL behavior is genetic. Perhaps Kaelic's disposition is being attached to women like you're attached to alcohol. Personally, I'd rather be attached to a piece of ass than a bottle of lite beer.
Hidden, you are throwing a pity party here. Despite the fact that alcoholics telling their stories at Alcoholic Anonymous, it is still "anonymous" and not in a public forum. I grew up with alcoholics and both of my brothers are alcoholics. It's a bullshit cop out for not handling your problems. Everybody tackles the same pressures in life, but most do not become addicts. The few weak do and to look for pat on the back because you've put the bottle down is bullshit. Nobody comes to me and says, "good job random joe for dealing with everyday problems efficiently" or, "wow, random joe, your have great courage for not drinking under ordinary pressures that every other human being feels in their lives."
But, this is a free country. You want to throw a pity party, then enjoy the cake.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2004-06-18 23:29:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And here's my last addition to that initial thought --- yes, people do get dumped all the time. But I wasn't prepared at all for this. There were no warning signs. There was no drifting apart, there was only moving closer. I was planning on selling my motorcycle to buy her a diamond bracelet. I was thinking about asking her to marry me. I was a fool for never seeing it coming, never even thinking that what could happen did, but will you -please- stop trying to trivialize the way I fucking feel just because you don't understand it (which I am sure you will argue, but based on the way you are responding to how I feel, it doesn't seem like you do)? It was not just "a girl". I did not just get "dumped". And I'm not just "sad". OK? Thank you.
Submitted by lilbill87 (user info) at 2004-06-18 23:26:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
personally I think it takes balls to do what you did, and the guts to talk about it....good job and keep it up..+2 for the post
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2004-06-18 23:22:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And just so you look at the below reply in a neutral light, I really don't hate you, Andrew. I don't have any real feelings for you at all, good or bad. I am just wondering if you are oblivious to the way you are, or what.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2004-06-18 23:19:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Man, where do -I- start.
"Kenny, you can keep trying to use "alcoholic" as an insult, but it doesn't do a damn thing. i know you think it's a low blow that will hurt me, but you're so far off, it's pathetic. it's pathetic that you even try in the first place. i just want you to know that if i call you a puss for crying over a girl, it's not because i'm trying to hit you with a low blow. it's because PEOPLE GET DUMPED ALL THE TIME. it's a part of life. someday you might be married and think back to the time it happened, and feel glad it did, because you are now happily married. obviously, if the girl left you, it wasn't meant to be, you stupid fucking dolt. get some fucking perspective, dumbass. you have a lot of maturing to do, Kenny. you are going to look back on this and laugh one day. i'm not trying to insult you, despite what you think. i'm trying to make you realize how much of a pussy you are for crying over a fucking girl. ok, we get it, you're sad. it's time to move on. if you don't want to move on, then jump off of a fucking bridge and spare us your shitty poems and letters to god. i know you're going to take all of this the wrong way, but that's not my fault. go on a goddamn date and realize that she is one girl out of billions. DO IT. WHAT ARE YOU STILL SITTING IN THAT CHAIR FOR? GO! GO NOW! i may sound like an asshole, Kenny, but you're so difficult, i have no idea how to get through to you."
After reading that paragraph, and almost all of the replies, I am under the assumption, and I am being completely serious here, that alcohol has damaged your brain. Just to the point where you are in a stage of denial, when you attempt to argue with anyone else.
First off, I don't see how you can write the above paragraph, and then say that you're not trying to insult me. You're insulting my intelligence just saying shit like that. OK, so I should spare everyone my shitty poems and posts (even though a bunch of posters have said they liked them and could relate), but it's OK for you to post your grab at sympathy because you're six months hanging tough? Tell me how you are not being a hypocrit? Please, answer me that? Do I not have every right to post how I feel? Those are all rhetorical questions, Andrew. Don't answer them.
Secondly, I've read several places where you tried to take shots at me because I experiemented with cocaine a few years ago. I did it twice, didn't like it, and never touched the stuff again. I'd like to point you out at a hypocrit, again, because now you are claiming you have done cocaine. So which is it? Have you or haven't you? This isn't a case of "I never inhaled". It's just fucked up of you to be such a double standard holding hypocritical douchebag.
Seriously, you have never and will never admit that you are wrong. I haven't seen you once. All you do is rebuff the things people say, try and shout them down and make fun of them. Has alcohol damaged some key function in your brain that has to do with reason? And I ask this because my father is very similar in that he -always- has to win an argument, always, and he hasn't gone a day since thirty without at least two drinks.
I agree with K.M. and someone, though. You showboat your addiction and play it up for sympathy way too much.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-18 20:27:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fine, Kyle. you're entitled to your own opinion of me from the information i give about myself on this website. there's nothing wrong with that. i just don't think it's very fair for people to make assumptions based on opinions that were formed with very little information and without ever having met someone in person.
i don't think it's wrong for you to have an opinion, everyone is entitled to their own.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-06-18 20:14:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My hatred for you, or lack thereof, is not blinding my perception of you, or your addiction. I just said "that's a reasonable assessment" based on your numerous posts, and replies about your addiction, and you told me to shut my mouth. That's it, that's all. End of conversation.
On a side note, I would like to give a shout out to the person who paid a hard earned dollar to solemnly inform us of Tom's activities regarding his relationship with several african american males.
On another side note, murphy is back, which is cool, because I was sort of worried about him considering a few of his past posts.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-18 20:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Murphy, where have you been??? i've been wondering how you've been doing, man.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-18 19:59:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
KM, or can i call you Kyle? i think i'm going to just call you Kyle, so this can be on a more personal level- now you're just letting your dislike for me cloud your judgement and that is why this will be my last reply to you. i'm not going to argue with someone that doesn't want to listen because they are too stubborn. just look at your hero, someone. after my last reply, the only things he could reply with were my poor sentence structure (but still a perfectly cohesive sentence), and a typo, and then he had to give me a -2 with his little tantrum. yes, i'm a stupid fucking moron. i made a typo. what's even funnier is that he makes more typos and spelling mistakes than me. nice try, someone.
if anyone is trying to "up the ante" it's him, and anyone that can't see that is either blind or is refusing to do so because they don't want to. *ahem*. he's the one that said, and i quote "I've been addicted to things that would make alcohol look like Diet Coke." like i said, i was just trying to tell a story, he wanted to start a pissing contest, as if it were really, really mature to say "i'm more of an addict than you!" come on, i'm 23 years old, not 10. i'm not up for it.
"I mean, you are acting as if you are the only person who has battled addiction, and you try and discredit everyone who disagrees with you as having no experience with it."
everyone? more like "SOMEONE". the only person i said anything to, because me makes himself sound like an idiot here, NOT because i'm trying to discredit him. re-read my post, and then try to tell me if there is even a slight hint of arrogance. tell me if it honestly sounds like "i know everything, i'm the best, and you don't know shit". sounds more like a story to me.
and i never said a cocaine addiction couldn't compare, and you know it. i just said that if he really had a bad cocaine addiction, he wouldn't be talking like this. he told me i didn't know anything about a cocaine addiction, and i never would, and i told him that i knew about cocaine addictions that spanned years, and that were a lot more destructive than his little run with it for a year where he "almost lost some friends" and "went broke" (which isn't so bad when you live with your parents). i'm talking about REAL cocaine addictions that killed people and got other people murdered. this isn't a pissing contenst for me. all i'm trying to do with my replies to him is make him realize that he doesn't know what he's talking about, because he's never been in my shoes. he doesn't need to paint a picture for me about addiction, because i've already been there. all i wanted to do was share my story. i didn't post it for sympathy, otherwise i wouldn't have posted a picture of me smiling.
this wasn't even meant for Ubersite. i was writing, and i started to get into the above subject, and i thought to myself "people on Ubersite are always asking me how i'm doing, why don't i post this?" and i figured i would write it in the second person to hopefully allow people to better understand how addiction can take you over. it's not called "self restraint". it just doesn't work that way. you probably won't listen, but i'm going to explain it to you, anyway. i was in your shoes once, also. i always thought "well, why can't they just quit?" or "they shouldn't have ever started drinking/doing drugs in the first place!" i know you drink and do drugs, Kyle, so i hope you aren't niave enough to actually believe it's impossible to happen to you. it just depends on the person, and any psychologist will tell you that lack of self restraint isn't why people become addicted to things, so you can pull your head out of your ass now.
you might have your own opinions about me and you might think i'm just talking a bunch of bullshit, and that's fine. but keep it to yourself unless you can honestly say you know what you're talking about 100%, without a shadow of a doubt. i know you don't like me and you love to see anyone disagree with me so you can have some more ammo, but this time it's just ridiculous and immature and you know it. you just don't want to admit it because you can't possibly bear to be wrong when you hate me so much.
Submitted by Murphy1844 (user info) at 2004-06-18 19:37:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This makes me happy, Hidden. I identified with just about everything you wrote here. Congratulations and I wish the best for you!
Murphy
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-06-18 18:54:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hadn't even rated this post, because we had a nice "Just Keep Our Mouths Shut" vibe going on, but Someone was right, when he said that you flaunt this around. I mean, you are acting as if you are the only person who has battled addiction, and you try and discredit everyone who disagrees with you as having no experience with it. Then, when Someone says that he battled a cocaine/othernarcotics addiction, you try and Up the Ante, talking about all your Health Problems, Pawn Shop Escapades, etc. It's as if you are trying to top him, by saying that a Cocaine addiction simply can't compare to what you went through.
It's just ignorant.
The difference between you and him, is that you have made post after post about your addictions, harvested the goodwill of hundreds of people to feed your ego, actually compared yourself and drew analogies to a cancer victim, posted dozens of posts designed explicitly for sympathy and moral support..... and he just called you on it, fairly casually, while admitting that he has battled addiction in the past so you don't put your fingers in your ears and start screaming YOU DON"T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!1111.
Wisdom comes from age and experience? Get this Andrew—You're being a moron, and your logic is flawed. I don't have to become an alcoholic to learn that it's a terrible thing to be. It's called self restraint, something I was born with. I don't need to "learn" it, after four years of drunken stupidity.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-06-18 17:28:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone you wanna come over and give me some head.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-06-18 17:22:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*ignorant
Oh and one more thing, this drabble:
"but while cocaine can fuck you up pretty bad, a year of doing it every day is not going to do what years of drinking every day will do and don't say i don't know. you have no idea what my experience with cocaine is. it's pretty funny that you think i don't know, nor will i ever, like i've never done coke in my life."
Is a PERFECT example of why WINNERS DONT DO DRUGS. Nice coherent sentence douchebag.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-06-18 17:19:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm sorry, but you sound like a moron. you really do. did you even read my post? maybe you should go back and read it so you don't look so stupid the next time you try to reply. i didn't write this for the encouragement. i don't need anyone to tell me "good job!" to keep me sober
--------------------------
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Wow the irony is amazing. You know what hidden, good for you. You are a recovering alcoholic, you did it all by yourself(YAH!), and you've also done coke, quit cigarettes, AND, lets not forget, experienced more then [I?] ever have in my short ignoratnt life.
PS. YOU ROXXXX!!!!1
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-06-18 15:56:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hidden you fucking rock.
Someone can I come to your house and stick a spoon in your eye you fucking twit. I've done coke and have had a drinking problem. I give props to anyone who can quit either. You are a fucking moron, die.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-18 15:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
by the way, you'll notice that i didn't reply to any of this until last night. that's because i haven't been watching it. like i said, i have my reasons for posting this and none of your guesses were correct.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-18 15:20:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-06-18 10:40:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
I stopped reading your drivel after the first two sentences.
A year of doing cocaine on almost a day to day basis, then going cold turkey almost immediately. You have no idea what that is like, nor will you ever. The amount of money I blew, the friends i almost lost, my health......
Furthermore, I'm not saying you WEREN'T addicted. Try reading what the fuck I wrote. The problem is, you feel the need to express it over a fucking website so you can get alot of "awww" and "keep strong, big guy!" to make you shitty self esteem reach just a little bit higher.
The thing is addicts, real addicts, they barely like to talk about their past. You however, run around with a sign on your neck and a empty beer bottle up your ass screaming "I'm sober" and that pisses me off.
================================================================
the friends you ALMOST LOST? how about the friends i lost? the amount of money you blew? how about, i was pawning and selling all of my earthly posessions to buy alcohol almost every other week. your HEALTH? i'm sorry, but while cocaine can fuck you up pretty bad, a year of doing it every day is not going to do what years of drinking every day will do and don't say i don't know. you have no idea what my experience with cocaine is. it's pretty funny that you think i don't know, nor will i ever, like i've never done coke in my life. i may not have lived as long as Mickginny, but i sure as hell can relate to a lot of his stories. i don't tell my particular stories here, because now is not the time for it. maybe i will someday soon. i've had a handful of friends that did coke like i drank. one of my friends almost died in my fucking basement from it. i watched another one of my friends do more lines than i've ever seen anyone do and then get in his car. guess what? he didn't come back that night. he ran into a Mack truck and it crushed his car like it was made of aluminum foil.
this isn't a pissing contest, though, despite what you think. i'm trying to talk about the realities that i've learned about; nothing more. i'm sorry, someone, but you just make yourself sound like you're trying to win a pissing contest about something i never wanted to be involved with in the first place.
i'm sorry, but you sound like a moron. you really do. did you even read my post? maybe you should go back and read it so you don't look so stupid the next time you try to reply. i didn't write this for the encouragement. i don't need anyone to tell me "good job!" to keep me sober. i quit on my own. don't talk about "real addicts" because you don't know. for the record, i quit cigarettes the day i quit drinking, also. do you know how much harder that made it on me? every person that knows about my struggle knows that i don't need pats on the back. i've shown incredible strength and i don't need the "awws" because my strength comes from within. the people that i know that tried to overcome addiction (much less severe addiction than mine, even) that did need attention and support from other people, were never able to make it more than a month until they were back to their vices, crying themselves to sleep every night again.
i don't care if my story about my experience with addiction pisses you off. i posted this to give some people a little perspective on what it's like and hopefully educate them a little. it's the whole reason i wrote the first part of it in the second person. most people have to make their own mistakes to learn about life, but some people can read something like this and steer clear of it in the future, and i'm hoping that's what this does, even if it's one person.
KM- i have two simple words for you- shut. up. come back here when you've grown up a little and you know something worth knowing. wisdom comes from age and experience. and don't tell me "but i'm only four years younger than you!" like you know what you're talking about. i've experienced twice as much since i was 19 like yourself than all the years before that age. you haven't even been to college yet, so i don't want to hear any of your opinions about me, because sometimes opinions can be wrong.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-18 14:15:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Who cares about your fucking problems. You look like a fucking fag.
Submitted by Uberfuck (user info) at 2004-06-18 12:35:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-06-18 10:40:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
I stopped reading your drivel after the first two sentences.
A year of doing cocaine on almost a day to day basis, then going cold turkey almost immediately. You have no idea what that is like, nor will you ever. The amount of money I blew, the friends i almost lost, my health......
Furthermore, I'm not saying you WEREN'T addicted. Try reading what the fuck I wrote. The problem is, you feel the need to express it over a fucking website so you can get alot of "awww" and "keep strong, big guy!" to make you shitty self esteem reach just a little bit higher.
The thing is addicts, real addicts, they barely like to talk about their past. You however, run around with a sign on your neck and a empty beer bottle up your ass screaming "I'm sober" and that pisses me off.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Real addicts don't talk about their past? Have you ever heard of Alcoholics Anonymous you fucking ignoramus? For some people, getting together once a week for discussion and support is the only thing that keeps them from going back to the bottle.
Not everyone who drinks a lot is an alcoholic. Alcoholism is a disease that makes people powerless over alcohol. Self control or discipline will not help an alcoholic. Some of the most successful and intelligent people in the world have been alcoholics and never managed to quit drinking. I came from an alcoholic family, so I've seen it.
Making fun of someone for getting fired, writing a dumb short story or getting dumped by a girl is one thing. But making fun of them for being an alcoholic is like making fun of someone because they have cancer. And if this "hidden 101" guy wants to tell his story and get some positive reinforcement, then good for him. Making fun of him over this just makes you look like an ass.
And for the record, alcohol is more addictive than cocaine. A study by Dr. Jack E. Henningfield of the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, the federal government's National Institute of Drug Abuse, and Dr. Neal L. Benowitz of the University of California's medical campus, ranked six substances by their addictiveness. in order from most addictive to least:
1. heroin
2. alcohol
3. nicotine
4. cocaine
5. caffine
6. marijuana
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2004-06-18 12:22:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"
Furthermore, I'm not saying you WEREN'T addicted. Try reading what the fuck I wrote. The problem is, you feel the need to express it over a fucking website so you can get alot of "awww" and "keep strong, big guy!" to make you shitty self esteem reach just a little bit higher.
The thing is addicts, real addicts, they barely like to talk about their past. You however, run around with a sign on your neck and a empty beer bottle up your ass screaming "I'm sober" and that pisses me off.
"
I think that's a reasonable assessment.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-06-18 10:45:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
some of you think you're so smart. i was in your shoes once. i used to say the same things- "lousy fuckin' drunks... why don't they just die in a gutter somewhere?" i thought i was better than them. i said i'd never be like that. well guess what? sometimes shit happens. i don't doubt you've heard that saying. some people have just had more experiences than you, and can tell you how things really are. i don't get mad when any of you tell me i'm a lousy drunk, and that addiction is a state of mind. you know why? because you can't help your own ignorance. you don't and can't know what it's like. some people don't understand something until they've experienced it.
i've been through more shit in 23 years than most of you could see in two lifetimes
---------------
Ok i just read your "2nd post" and I must say two more things. First, I do agree with that first paragraph, and know exactly how you feel when you say "some people don't understand something until they've experienced it."
However, dont make asinine commments like you've been through "more shit in 23 years...blah blah fucking blah" because you don't know people on this website at ALL and statements like that just make you look as stupid as you do ugly.
By the way, no ciggarettes in two days. Bitch
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-06-18 10:40:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I stopped reading your drivel after the first two sentences.
A year of doing cocaine on almost a day to day basis, then going cold turkey almost immediately. You have no idea what that is like, nor will you ever. The amount of money I blew, the friends i almost lost, my health......
Furthermore, I'm not saying you WEREN'T addicted. Try reading what the fuck I wrote. The problem is, you feel the need to express it over a fucking website so you can get alot of "awww" and "keep strong, big guy!" to make you shitty self esteem reach just a little bit higher.
The thing is addicts, real addicts, they barely like to talk about their past. You however, run around with a sign on your neck and a empty beer bottle up your ass screaming "I'm sober" and that pisses me off.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-18 06:02:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no, i don't see what you mean. you didn't really explain anything for me to "see what you mean".
i'm sorry you don't like the fact that i post my picture and don't capitalize, but it's nice you think you know all about alcoholism. i quit without going to "rehab". i did it on my own with more willpower than you could ever imagine. my body wanted to shut down without alcohol (don't you dare tell me you know addiction until you know what that's like), but i wouldn't let it because my mind is stronger. you say you know addiction, but i doubt you know it on the level you think you do. why don't you ask the older, more experienced people around here about it. i'm sure Mick or Rizzo could tell you about REAL addiction.
some of you think you're so smart. i was in your shoes once. i used to say the same things- "lousy fuckin' drunks... why don't they just die in a gutter somewhere?" i thought i was better than them. i said i'd never be like that. well guess what? sometimes shit happens. i don't doubt you've heard that saying. some people have just had more experiences than you, and can tell you how things really are. i don't get mad when any of you tell me i'm a lousy drunk, and that addiction is a state of mind. you know why? because you can't help your own ignorance. you don't and can't know what it's like. some people don't understand something until they've experienced it.
yeah, "damn someone. damn." you know all about addiction, don't you? sure, i'll just quit drinking right now! no problem!
don't lecture me about quitting anything. you talk like you know something. you say you're quitting smoking, huh? "quitting"? if you know so much, why can't you just "quit"? i don't have anything to prove to anyone here, but i want you to remember what you said here the next time you smoke a cigarette while you're "trying to quit".
i've been through more shit in 23 years than most of you could see in two lifetimes. if this whole experience has done anything for me, it's made me very much wiser. i don't expect anyone here to understand except for the few that know what real addiction is like. i expected the ignorant one to speak harsh words. it's easy to say someone is a piece of crap addict from where you're standing until it happens to you.
keep thumbing your collective nose at me. i don't regret a single day of my life. i wrote this in hopes it would educate some of you so that it doesn't happen to you. if it helps one person, i'm happy. even if it doesn't, it felt good to get it off my chest.
at least i didn't write some whiny, sniveling piece of shit about how some girl left me.
Kenny, you can keep trying to use "alcoholic" as an insult, but it doesn't do a damn thing. i know you think it's a low blow that will hurt me, but you're so far off, it's pathetic. it's pathetic that you even try in the first place. i just want you to know that if i call you a puss for crying over a girl, it's not because i'm trying to hit you with a low blow. it's because PEOPLE GET DUMPED ALL THE TIME. it's a part of life. someday you might be married and think back to the time it happened, and feel glad it did, because you are now happily married. obviously, if the girl left you, it wasn't meant to be, you stupid fucking dolt. get some fucking perspective, dumbass. you have a lot of maturing to do, Kenny. you are going to look back on this and laugh one day. i'm not trying to insult you, despite what you think. i'm trying to make you realize how much of a pussy you are for crying over a fucking girl. ok, we get it, you're sad. it's time to move on. if you don't want to move on, then jump off of a fucking bridge and spare us your shitty poems and letters to god. i know you're going to take all of this the wrong way, but that's not my fault. go on a goddamn date and realize that she is one girl out of billions. DO IT. WHAT ARE YOU STILL SITTING IN THAT CHAIR FOR? GO! GO NOW! i may sound like an asshole, Kenny, but you're so difficult, i have no idea how to get through to you.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2004-06-18 01:42:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you for writing that. And best wishes.
Submitted by EH (user info) at 2004-06-18 00:58:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yea... quitting smoking. Now that's hard, a very very hard thing to do. I think I've quit about 23 times in the last 6 years. The best I've done was 4 months in afghanistan but I had help, Zyban, patches and prozac! Then I ran out of prozac, got stuck in germany and found myself sitting at a bar. After a few drinks and realizing that my soon to be wife was in fact my soon to be ex, I started drinking heavier and smoking again... Damn cycle.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2004-06-17 23:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn, someone. Damn.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-06-17 23:10:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-17 21:52:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
what do you know about addiction?
---------------------
I know that I've been addicted to things that would make alcohol look like Diet Coke. I never received
treatment, never visited a doctor, I just have been quitting things stone cold, one step at a time.(I am currently
quitting cigarettes, one of my final "addictions", or as I phrase them, "habits"). I used to think rehab, treatement,
and saying "you have a problem" was a pussy cop out, but I realized some things. Different strokes for different
folks, some people just have rock hard willpower, stamina, strength, and all around awesomeness to get sober
alone. Some are weak pansies who have no self esteem, are unactractive yet continually post their picture for
recognition, never type in capitals because they think they are better then everyone else, and write with about the
exact same quality as I am typing this reply.
You see what I mean Hidden? As long as you are doing fine and are happy, good for you man.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-17 21:52:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what do you know about addiction?
Submitted by bobolla (user info) at 2004-06-17 21:10:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
additcion is a state of mind
Submitted by CleverName (user info) at 2004-06-17 19:39:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Way to stay in Las Vegas.
Submitted by TheRef at 2004-06-17 08:12:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You should have a drink to celebrate you sobriety
Submitted by Andy at 2004-06-16 23:20:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You are a worthless drunkard like the rest, please admit it.
Put down the fifth and face reality - you are, and were, and still are, a LOSER.
Reality checks are nice now and then, you drunkard bumm. Enjoy you 10 or so years left, because you will revert to the bottle.
FU very much,
regards,
Andy
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-06-16 21:48:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good for you. Good luck with the moving and all.
Submitted by hairsphincter2 (user info) at 2004-06-16 21:11:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sphincterlicious at 2004-06-16 08:42:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
God, I need a drink.
Ok... that wasn't me.
Andy, gotta say, I think you have done a great job. Proud of your success, man.
Now, about that ghey twinkle in your eyez!!!!11!!1six!!!
Submitted by squattail (user info) at 2004-06-16 19:38:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If this is true perhaps you are on my list. My full list, with hundreds of thousands of names.
Submitted by CobraCommander (user info) at 2004-06-16 19:10:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting the results to be different. Good luck breaking that spiral, man.
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-06-16 16:32:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wear a black tuxedo. Black tuxedo. Black. Black. Black. Black.
Oh my gosh!
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-06-16 16:20:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Has it only been six months? Man, that post seems like an ice age ago.
I've read that it is wrong to congratulate addicts on their recovery because it can sometimes have a negative effect by causing the addict to let his/her guard down because of the scale of their achievement may cause them to think "I've come this far, what harm will one more drink/cigarette/hit off the crack pipe do?"
Here's hoping the next six months are as productive and that you feel even better about yourself.
Submitted by master-beta (user info) at 2004-06-16 14:24:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good for you. I was in a similar situation myself, except that I was never in great shape to begin with, so seeing myself get fatter wasn't quite as shocking. I remember the hot and cold flashes in the middle of the night, the paralyzing body aches, waking up in a puddle of sweat and the constant exhaustion that accompanied my inability to sleep in the weeks that followed my decision to stop drinking. My doctors and I decided that going totally sober for the rest of my life wasn't practical, so we plotted out a timeline to ease back into controlled drinking. Apparently this is a common practice in Europe, whereas here in the US the general approach is to stop cold turkey and never drink again. I went 186 days sober and last Friday was my first drink since I woke up at 3am laying in the middle of an intersection a couple miles from my house in the rain. I had road rash on my face and arms and my ankle was so badly sprained I had to crawl home. My problem was never not drinking, it was knowing when to stop. Though I've started drinking again, I only do it with friends who are drinking too, and I don't have more than two. The memories of the desolation I felt the morning of Dec. 8th, and the pain that followed in the next couple of weeks is enough to keep me from drinking more right now. But I know how it is for you. I know how hard it is, and how even if you're a smart and mentally strong person, you can't stop an addiction alone. I had people who helped me too, who are continuing to help me, and I'm forever greatful. Whatever's working for you is great. Keep it up man.
Submitted by Uberfuck (user info) at 2004-06-16 14:12:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/35928
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:54:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you are moving to chicago?
Submitted by daggotht (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oh and -2 you inflated peppermint shaped head
Submitted by daggotht (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:22:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey drunkard...with that huge face...here's how you'll look like in two decades: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0120494/
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:18:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't be jealous, buddy. Keep kissing ass and one day, you too can be a semi-recognizable name on a website forum. Won't you be proud -- the envy of your entire dungeons and dragons role-playing group, no doubt.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:13:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm happy for you, Andrew. I knew you would be able to do it.
Submitted by Uberfuck (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:05:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I take that as a yes.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-16 12:50:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
oooh didn't notice the pic. i kissed the screen and left a lipstick mark!
:-)
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2004-06-16 12:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, Uberfuck, did you get raped in the ass a lot as a child, you retarded piece of dog poop? What's that? Yes? OK, then, how about shutting the fuck up and leaving the clever insults to the "intelligent" people, rather than slathering a generic childhood reference that has absolutely no basis at all, just so you can kiss ass and be popular like the other cool kids on Uber. Douchebag.
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2004-06-16 12:39:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Gaylord.
Submitted by Hellrazor (user info) at 2004-06-16 12:24:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now this is an issue that should be taken very seriously. Maybe now your ego will go back to normal, and quick posting that ugly ass picture!
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-06-16 12:08:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-06-16 12:03:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice work man. good job.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-06-16 11:32:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great job, Andy. Glad to hear you are getting better.
Ulcers really suck.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-06-16 11:25:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow that first bit described me.
i'm scared.
Submitted by TonyMontana (user info) at 2004-06-16 11:19:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you might have a gastritis from chronic drinking, or you could have a gastric or duodenal ulcer. you should definitely avoid things like aspirins and other NSAID's before you get a chance to talk to your doctor. He might recommend putting you on some antibiotics and maybe tagamet or nexium.
an ulcer or gastritis can be healed fairly easily with proper lifestyle modifications and medications. damage to your liver could be another story, but that doesn't seem likely. the fact that you are not jaundiced (yellow skinned), you have no tremors, no increased abdominal girth, and no cloudiness of thought, suggests that your liver is fine. the liver can be damaged to a very high degree and still manage to regenerate itself. so as long as you stay away from alcohol and other things which can harm the liver (certain medications), then you should be fine.
just some friendly reassurance from your neighborhood med student.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-16 11:12:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-06-16 11:10:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin rock on Andy!
You're doing great. Like I always said, give me a call whenever. Just e-mail me and I'll send you my number.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-06-16 10:32:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Go you big red fire engine!
Good to hear that you've fought it off, and that you haven't given up. Good luck for the fighting that is left. =)
Submitted by Snuggles_The_Assassin (user info) at 2004-06-16 10:24:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well I seem to be on your path, so thanks for giving me something to look forward to. Good shit man.
Submitted by Pittdude (user info) at 2004-06-16 10:23:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Great stuff...
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-06-16 10:19:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Big up, keep at it.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-16 10:19:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-06-16 08:43:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
You are my hero.
Submitted by Uberfuck (user info) at 2004-06-16 10:06:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey "Kaelic", did you get punched in the face a lot by the other kids at school?
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-06-16 10:05:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Life is worth living, Andy. Keeping doing what you have to in order to enjoy it.
I'm proud of you.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-06-16 10:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
At least you didn't get this bad -
http://abclocal.go.com/wls/news/strange/061504_ap_sn_drinkingdare.html
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-06-16 10:03:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how tall are you? Because you don't weigh that much for an adult.
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-06-16 09:56:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i watched my grandfather die from cancer and liver disease
because he smoked unfiltered camels and drank every day
for 50 years. i just wish he would have had the courage
to change his life like you did so that he could have met
my daughter.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-06-16 09:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow, i never got that bad. WHOO HOO!
Submitted by JinkyWilliams (user info) at 2004-06-16 09:44:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Looking good, Hidden. Awesome testimony. This is going in my Uber Scrapbook.
Stay orange.
--JW
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-06-16 09:37:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good stuff. used to do a 33 min 10K myself.... went off the wall for a few years but now Im back. Its hard work, the body doesnt tend to appreciate being fucked around in that way, but it feels great getting back into shape doesnt it ?
Well done!
Submitted by DenDen (user info) at 2004-06-16 09:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done! Good luck with your tests. I had an esophagoscopy (which seems like what you are having) a few years ago. It's not a bad test at all. Maybe they will just put you on Nexium and send you on your way. Hope so. You have won a huge battle--the one for your sobriety. I would think that anything would be easy after that!
Congrats!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-06-16 09:26:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Although Kaelic is in no position to be critical of this seeing his yesterday's post, the review he just made is fuckin' hilarious.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2004-06-16 09:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"quitting is hard when you're alone. thankfully, i had someone to help me through it, and i am forever grateful."
No need to thank me. I know without my vicious taunts and harsh ridicule about your fat, swollen face, you never would have found the motivation to work out and make your face look a little less fat. Like I said, no thanks are necessary ... I now accept paypal.
SERIOUSLY ANDY WHHAAA WHAA WHHAAAAAAA I USED TO BE A ALCOHOLIC AND I WAS IN THE BEST SHAPE A HUMAN BEING COULD POSSIBLY BE IN BUT THEN I GOT FAT AND I COULDNT EVEN WALK UP STAIRS IT WAS THAT BAD WHAAA BUT THROUGH THE LOVE AND SUPPORT OF MY FUTURE WIFE I MET ON THE INTERNET I AM BETTER LOOK JUST LOOK AT MY PICTURE TO SEE HOW MUCH BETTER I AM THERE IS A GAY TWINKLE IN MY EYE SEE SEE
Submitted by Speed2oo1 (user info) at 2004-06-16 09:13:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alcoholism runs rampant in my family. I'm trying to steer away from all that before I have a chance to get too far. Mad props to you.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-06-16 09:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-06-16 09:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
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