Ubersite RPG 4: The Battle Continues (1566 hits)
Category: HumorLabels: RPG
Rating: 1.95 on 35 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Matt Maiorano (View user info) at 2004-06-16 13:27:44 EDT
BART: You know Phinch, I can never get a break, can I?
PHINCH: Nope.
BART: I mean, did I ask to be put in some geeky RPG series?
PHINCH: Nope.
BART: Did I ask to be the hero of every chapter?
PHINCH: Nope.
BART: And why the hell am I wandering around fighting random Uberusers? I mean, is there any plot to all this? I don't even like fighting..... I just want to go home, manage my website, take a hot bubble bath, and dream of Orlando Bloom-
PHINCH: What?
BART: I said..... uhm...... Orlando in bloom. It's really quite nice over there.
Kracka joins the party
KRACKA: Hey guys.
BART: Oh great, so now this post is gonna play the race card too.
PHINCH: What the hell are you talking about?
KRACKA: I think he means that he's white, you're Asian, and I'm black. A little convenient, don't you think?
PHINCH: Hmmmm..... doesn't bother me too much.
BART: Yea. As long as we don't come across a treasure chest filled with chopsticks, country music, and fried chicken, I think we're pretty safe.
Mystiamoon appears
MYSTIA: Was that a racist remark I heard, sir!?
BART: What? Where the hell did you come from?
MYSTIA: I won't have any racist remarks in my realm, mister.
KRACKA: Uhm..... that wasn't really all that-
MYSTIA: Don't worry, I'll get this bigot for you!
Bart, Kracka, and Phinch have entered battle
BART: Hey, look lady, I don't know what your problem is but-
Mystiamoon casts silence
Bart is silenced!
MYSTIA: That should teach you. Now you won't be able to make any more nasty remarks.
PHINCH: What the fuck is wrong with you, woman!?
KRACKA: Bitch, I'm about to slap you silly.
BART: *middle finger*
Mystiamoon lets out a screech!
Bart, Kracka, and Phinch are hit!
Bart takes 250 damage
Kracka takes 184 damage
Phinch takes 276 damage
MYSTIA: SO YOU GUYS ARE A BUNCH OF WOMANIZING ASSHOLES, ARE YOU!?!
PHINCH: Oh dear God, my ears are bleeding!
KRACKA: Let's show this bitch.
Kracka pulls out his nine
Mystiamoon takes two to the chest
Mystiamoon takes 786 damage
Phinch busts out with crazy ninja skillz
Mystiamoon is hit!
Mystiamoon takes 633 damage
MYSTIA: Oh, you bastards.... you're gonna pay for that.....
Mystiamoon casts Lunar Mystery
Total damage switched!
Mystiamoon is fully recovered
Bart takes 0 damage
Kracka takes 786 damage
Phinch takes 633 damage
Kracka is paralyzed!
Phinch is paralyzed!
MYSTIA: Mwahahahaha! Prepare to die, you racist womanizing sons of bitches!!
Mystiamoon is gathering energy....
Unleashing Moon-Shine in 3....
PHINCH: Bart, do something! You can ban her, can't you!?
BART: *Shakes head*
KRACKA: He can't cast anything, remember?
Mystiamoon is gathering energy....
Unleashing Moon-Shine in 2....
PHINCH: But.... but.... we can remove it, can't we?
KRACKA: We're out of Double-Middle-Fingers. Not much we can do.
PHINCH: Well what about this?
*Bart receives DDT!*
Mystiamoon is gathering energy....
Unleashing Moon-Shine in 1....
*Bart drinks DDT!*
Party is fully recovered!
Status ailments removed!
Bart's attack and defense up!
Kracka's attack and defense up!
Phinch's attack and defense up!
Bart, Kracka, and Phinch: Tri-Attack!
Racial-Rage!
*Cut to long and drawn-out magic sequence*
Mystiamoon is hit!
Mystiamoon takes 9999 damage
Mystiamoon has died
*Battle has ended*
27500 Exp.
100 Gold
Bart gains a level!
Kracka learns tech-skill: Hotwire
Phinch learns Kung-Fu!
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2004-11-23 16:52:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-10-21 09:15:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You should have just kept it going with the dialogue it was pretty good. That RPG crap didn't do it for me.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-20 15:19:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by enraged_baboon (user info) at 2004-09-17 15:11:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
schweet one
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2004-07-16 02:43:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how did i miss this? and i get to team with phinch and bart?!?!?! and i get a nine and learn hotwire? it is just too much for one man to take in. thank you matt. thank you.
-Black Ninja
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-20 02:33:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and also i am drunk woo!
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-20 02:33:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oops. i didnt realize that durae was logged in. the previous commetn was actually from me.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2004-06-20 02:32:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mystia is hot.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-06-20 02:18:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My Lunar Mystery brings all the boys to the yard.
....and lojope too!
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!
Submitted by jcricket (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
always great
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-18 14:57:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don, ooooh Dooooon...
weren't you supposed to have made a post a la Star Wars with us uberers in it?
Or did i miss it?
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-06-18 14:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've always wanted to learn kung fu.
this rocks.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-06-17 22:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Superbly funny. The picture makes it more so.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-06-17 22:13:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Because Phinch knows to use his powers of Photoshop only for good, and never for evil.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-06-17 22:05:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why didn't Phinch do a damned photoshop?
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-06-17 02:34:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, I knew Mystia was a bitch, but my imagination didn't do her justice. I'm so glad you lent me a view into your imagination.
Just kidding,
Dave
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-06-17 02:10:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Clas Fuckin sy
But i'm supposed to be back, let me assist in another badguy asskicking Damnit!
fuckin hillarious.
Submitted by cnympho247 (user info) at 2004-06-17 01:56:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heheh.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-06-16 20:07:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-16 20:04:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well done, fucker. I liked this one almost as much as I hate Mysti.
(The above comment is a dramatization. May not have been said)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HAR HAR Dork.
Be online after I get off work so I can send you my baby picture finally.
Sorry for the delay I've had alot of stuff going on lately.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-16 20:04:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well done, fucker. I liked this one almost as much as I hate Mysti.
(The above comment is a dramatization. May not have been said)
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-06-16 19:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow that was funny as hell, but hard to read. I had an eye appointment today so my pupils are the size of quarters.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-06-16 19:22:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmm.... I thought this would've gone over better.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-06-16 15:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oops sorry for my zero Matt.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:56:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:49:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
C'mere Matt I have some moonshine for your ass!
---------------
My name is Matt.
I drank moonshine two weeks ago.
My ass is well known on this site.
Um, yeah, im scared.
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WTF?
I wasn't even talking to you. I was talking to my FRIEND Matt, the author of this post.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:53:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funnee shit
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:49:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
C'mere Matt I have some moonshine for your ass!
---------------
My name is Matt.
I drank moonshine two weeks ago.
My ass is well known on this site.
Um, yeah, im scared.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
These are so awesome.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:41:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:38:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow I'm a super femme bitch.
I think I'll go with that.
Ok Uber I must go for now because I have a death to plot.
Watch the 11 O'clock news for a bulletin regarding the remains of Matts body found in pieces and neatly packed in bubble wrap.
C'mere Matt I have some moonshine for your ass!
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:35:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't not give this a 2.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:32:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha! i love these posts!
i bow to your talent!
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Never gets old.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-06-16 13:29:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaha... best one yet. Now when do I get to be in one of these?