Piss on a stick (926 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.94 on 51 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <oleannder.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-06-17 10:49:43 EDT
I've been feeling rather off for he last month, well off might not be the best way to describe it.... maybe severely fucked up is the best way to go. I'm constantly dizzy interspersed with headaches & muscle pain. This week has been especially delightful as vomiting as been added to the mix. Oh yeah.... and I missed my period.
So of course my Doctor is preparing me for the worst - pregnancy. It doesn't matter that I have had four frickin' pregnancy tests & they have ALL come back negative, I still went for blood tests on Tuesday night. I hate blood tests. I am terrified of needles. I usually just sit there & cringe & cower until it's all over or I pass out - whatever happens first. It does not help that the lab tech who takes my blood looks oddly like my Grandmother on my Fathers side, or as I like to call her, Satan. (I hate my Grandmother but that is another story to be told).
Why bother with the other tests if he wasn't going to trust the results anyways? Does my Doctor think that I enjoy squatting & peeing on a stick? Maybe I do it for fun on my own at home... maybe I involve by boyfriend in the little game?
"Hey honey!!! I bought another test today!"
"Ooooh.... more fun the Monopoly! Can I hold the stick?"
"Hang on, I need to drink some water so I can tinkle"
Not bloody likely. I am on the pill & the odds on me passing two Doctors tests & two home tests & still being with spawn are so minimal that I'd have a better chance of winning the lottery while getting married to a newly widowed Brad Pitt. Just not gonna fuckin' happen.
My biggest question is this: why am I not being tested for anything else? I am starting to get pretty paranoid now. What if he is wrong and in 9 months I give birth to a beautiful 7.5 lb tumor? I already know what to do if I am indeed pregnant - make an appointment with a vacuum cleaner - but after a month shouldn't there be more possibilities? I'd like a CAT scan now!!!!!
I asked to at least be treated for the dizziness & nausea but was told that he wouldn't give me anything just in case I was knocked up. It might hurt the baby. I was astounded by this since I had already told him that if I was pregnant.... I wouldn't be for long. He then gave me pamphlets about taking folic acid to help the baby in this growth period. Is he deaf? Do I need to shout "I am not having a baby!" into a megaphone at him? I have known since I was a child myself that I did not want to give birth. I would be a TERRIBLE mother. I am incredibly selfish & I really hate it when other people touch my stuff, I am pretty sure a baby would want to touch my stuff. So I have been on the pill for the past 8 years to help ensure that I don't have any unpleasant visits from the Mother Fucking Stork.
I guess I will have to let it ride until I find out on Saturday, but if it comes back negative & he STILL thinks I'm knocked up.... I need a new Doctor. Or he will.
User Reviews
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-06-18 18:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
just end it all. tonights the night.
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-18 17:10:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Love you too Bob.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-06-18 17:09:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It just keeps getting worse and worse...
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-18 17:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-18 17:01:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
Will -
"Embrace what you find appaling."
I'm not going NEAR oleannder.
--------------------------
Fucking load off my mind. Now I don't have to get all those extra antibiotics.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-18 17:04:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-18 17:01:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fetish is a dick.
---
Your +2 doesn't count.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-18 17:01:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Will -
"Embrace what you find appaling."
I'm not going NEAR oleannder.
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-18 17:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fetish is a dick.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-18 16:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-18 11:49:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-06-18 11:40:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ladies, if we can't laugh about abortions...what can we laugh about?
Embrace your fear. Embrace what you find appaling
---------------------------------------------------
I love you Will. YOU get it.
For giving your own post a +2.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-18 12:03:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-06-18 11:40:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ladies, if we can't laugh about abortions...what can we laugh about?
_______________________________________________
jesus H christ on a fucking stick ... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
i am sorry to laugh at that ... I'm sorry.. everyone is fighting
and he pipes up with THAT.
Loren1 I agree - healthy debate. I just stated my entire
opinion in that one reply. I will not argue semantics when
I am too tired from fighting crime in the city of boston all night
in my catwoman suit.
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-18 11:49:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-06-18 11:40:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ladies, if we can't laugh about abortions...what can we laugh about?
Embrace your fear. Embrace what you find appaling
---------------------------------------------------
I love you Will. YOU get it.
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-18 11:43:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-18 11:25:03 (#)
Ranking: -2
"You really are not pro-choice at all are you? You may say that you are but.......... "
You grow more and more stupid with each reply you post.
----------------------------------------------------
That is a thought provoking response.
Allow me to retort with "Bite me you uptight, narrow minded, dried out cum-bag."
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-06-18 11:40:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ladies, if we can't laugh about abortions...what can we laugh about?
Embrace your fear. Embrace what you find appaling.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-18 11:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"You really are not pro-choice at all are you? You may say that you are but.......... "
You grow more and more stupid with each reply you post.
If you were smarter, you could have been a good lawyer, because if nothing else, you have the gift of twisting words around to your advantage, and the fact that you actually believe them would have made you a force to be reckoned with.
Adios
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-18 09:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-18 09:40:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Key words here are: "Something" and "it" and especially "I"
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You really are not pro-choice at all are you? You may say that you are but..........
If the fetus (that better your highness?) were to be reffered to as a baby by me then it WOULD be a baby & therefore difficult to get rid of. Are pregnant women determined to have abortions supposed to refer to the fetus as though they were going to give birth to it? Wouldn't that make a hard decision even harder? By giving it an identity then having an abortion would be like murder (at least in my eyes). If taken care of now when there is no attachment or identity placed on the fetus it becomes a much easier process & has fewer lasting effects.
I fully expect that if I am indeed pregnant & have an abortion I will have remorse over the potential life & what could have been. However knowing that I am currently unable to provide a child with a stable & happy home is more then enough to help me through the process.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-18 09:40:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Why run the risk of becoming attached to something that I don't want now? If I am pregnant & can get rid of it now why wouldn't I? I already know that if I went through with a pregnacy I would not be able to give it up. "
Key words here are: "Something" and "it" and especially "I"
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-06-18 07:53:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your defense of this makes me like this even less.
I'd give this a -3 if I could.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-18 07:13:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-17 17:37:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-17 16:54:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm fully capable of reading... You need to write in a coherent understandable manner.
Oh, and go here for sex: http://www.potatomanjack.com
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I got your coherent understandable message right here douche-bag.......
I don't go around giving -2 posts for every reply that I do. You know why? I'm not a frickin' single minded cornhole muncher with a hate-on for everyone that disagree's with something I say.
Why do you have to be such a fuckwit? If I am going to put a reply in for something I have already rated then the polite (I know its above you) thing to do is use a 0. So pull your Daddy's dick outta yer ass & be a human for once lest a few of the poeple you have pissed off (or on) decide to follow your example.
---
Generally speaking... When you insult someone because of their rating you get a -2 with the reply. I've seen this time and time again. You need to go back to AOL...
http://contact.webhop.net/
Submitted by convicted_child_rapist (user info) at 2004-06-17 17:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You missed your period because I snuck into your room and raped you repeatedly for two hours.
That and my friends have been collecting random peoples semen and saving it.
I injected it into you with a turkey baster.
Have fun getting full blown AIDS you slag.
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-17 17:37:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-17 16:54:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm fully capable of reading... You need to write in a coherent understandable manner.
Oh, and go here for sex: http://www.potatomanjack.com
---------------------------------------------------------
I got your coherent understandable message right here douche-bag.......
I don't go around giving -2 posts for every reply that I do. You know why? I'm not a frickin' single minded cornhole muncher with a hate-on for everyone that disagree's with something I say.
Why do you have to be such a fuckwit? If I am going to put a reply in for something I have already rated then the polite (I know its above you) thing to do is use a 0. So pull your Daddy's dick outta yer ass & be a human for once lest a few of the poeple you have pissed off (or on) decide to follow your example.
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-06-17 16:59:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BITCH FIGHT
WOOOOO
GO SLAPS WOO!!!!
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-06-17 16:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Fair enough, most people who say they would be terrible mothers probably would be. It's your choice- I see little point in bringing a kid into a world where he's an 'unwanted accident'.
You could be a little less callous, though. It cheapens your argument a little.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-17 16:58:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-17 16:54:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
And leave Munkey alone while you're at it. At least she can tell what I'm talking about.
---
What about munkey? I like munkey...
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-17 16:54:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And leave Munkey alone while you're at it. At least she can tell what I'm talking about.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-17 16:54:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm fully capable of reading... You need to write in a coherent understandable manner.
Oh, and go here for sex: http://www.potatomanjack.com
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-17 16:51:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aparently Loren & Fetish do not know how to read. If anyone else can find where I mention that I'm on the pill TWICE raise your hand. And not that it's any of their business but we use condoms too. Abortion as birth control? Where are you getting that from?
I'm prpbably NOT pregnant. Thank Christ. But if I were it is nice to have a plan in advance so that I can take care of business.
I say Yay Me for being upfront about the situation. I have done my agonizing about this already, why crap all over my being prepared?
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-17 16:44:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-17 15:21:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
This made me sick. Now I guess I know how you're feeling.
I'm adamently pro-choice, but women like you who can lightly say things (on a public forum no less) like "make an appointment with a vacuum cleaner" you sound like filthy 2-bit whores.
Abortion is not something you should take or even talk about lightly. Have you no shame at all?
---
I never thought I'd say this... But, I agree with Loren. You do sound like you plan on using abortion as a method of birth control.
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-17 16:44:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-17 16:29:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's up to me to take whatever point I want out of a post. That's my choice
----------------------------------------
Well you missed another one. I also said that I would be unwilling to give up a child of my own to adoption. I'm not going to go through 9 months & then the hell of childbirth just to give my baby up. Why run the risk of becoming attached to something that I don't want now? If I am pregnant & can get rid of it now why wouldn't I? I already know that if I went through with a pregnacy I would not be able to give it up.
Evaluate me all you want. At least I know myself.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-17 16:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Munkey, do you have a strong/heated opinion on anything? Healthy debating is good for the soul and IMHO, it can make you a more interesting person. Try it some time.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-17 16:34:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hey, Olea. You do what you have to do. Whichever way this turns out
you are the only one that has to live with that decision
and until other poeple walk in your shoes they have no basis on which to judge.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-17 16:29:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's up to me to take whatever point I want out of a post. That's my choice.
"Yes I will be 30 in less then two years, what is your point on this. At least I know that I am not only not capable of caring for a child but I know that I really don't want to. How is that selfish? I am not allowing a life to grow out of me when I KNOW that it will not get the love, attention or financial support needed for a happy & healthy child. "
If you were at least HONEST about it, I would maybe respect you a little, not that you give a shit.
But if your attitude was soley based on you thinking you couldn't provide for the child, then you would give that *said* baby up for adoption. Why not come clean and admit you just don't want to go through a pregnancy? Maybe you have a decent figure you don't want to ruin, maybe you're afraid of childbirth. These are all well-noted, very real fears, I have them myself, just stop lying through your fucking teeth about it.
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-17 16:14:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-17 15:57:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
And 28 may not be "old", but it's old enough that the use of "only" in front of it to form some sort of excuse for being selfish and immature has fully expired. You'll be 30 in less than 2 years! Come on now! I'd expect this from a 17 or 18 year old maybe, but 28?
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So at 28, by your ever so high standards, am I too old to abort or too old to make a joke about it?
Yes I will be 30 in less then two years, what is your point on this. At least I know that I am not only not capable of caring for a child but I know that I really don't want to. How is that selfish? I am not allowing a life to grow out of me when I KNOW that it will not get the love, attention or financial support needed for a happy & healthy child.
You say that you are pro-choice...... I doubt it. Maybe if some poor teen gets knocked up sure, but look out if a grown woam has made a decision to terminate.
Not to mention that you missed the point of the post. The odds on my being pregnant are teeny tiny. I want a Doctor who will look at other possibilites besides pregnancy & begin treating me for the symtoms I have. Actually listening to what a patient says is kind of a bonus too.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-17 15:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The only 7.5 lb. tumor you have that should be removed is the one you mistakingly call a brain.
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oleaner -
"What am I supposed to be ashamed about here? Knowing that I will have an abortion if I am pregnant or trying to make a very heavy situation in MY life a little bit lighter by making my own jokes about it?"
-----------------------------------------------------
You just answered your own question by forming 2 multiple choice answers for yourself. The shame is in making jokes about it when it is far from a joking matter.
And 28 may not be "old", but it's old enough that the use of "only" in front of it to form some sort of excuse for being selfish and immature has fully expired. You'll be 30 in less than 2 years! Come on now! I'd expect this from a 17 or 18 year old maybe, but 28?
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-17 15:40:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-17 15:21:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
This made me sick. Now I guess I know how you're feeling.
I'm adamently pro-choice, but women like you who can lightly say things (on a public forum no less) like "make an appointment with a vacuum cleaner" you sound like filthy 2-bit whores.
Abortion is not something you should take or even talk about lightly. Have you no shame at all?
------------------------------------------
What am I supposed to be ashamed about here? Knowing that I will have an abortion if I am pregnant or trying to make a very heavy situation in MY life a little bit lighter by making my own jokes about it?
For the record I have had 2 sexual partners in my life. Since I am only 28 years old that hardly makes me a whore, 2-bit or otherwise. I am very careful about who I invite to my bed, you have to be in this day & age.
Since I would be unwilling to give a child of mine up for adoption this leaves me with very few options - abortion or have an unplanned & unwanted baby.
I think that if it does turn out that I'm pregnant.... I'm doing both of us a favor.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-17 15:21:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This made me sick. Now I guess I know how you're feeling.
I'm adamently pro-choice, but women like you who can lightly say things (on a public forum no less) like "make an appointment with a vacuum cleaner" you sound like filthy 2-bit whores.
Abortion is not something you should take or even talk about lightly. Have you no shame at all?
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-17 13:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-17 13:40:09 (#)
Ranking: -2
This should have went under the science category..
----------------------------------------------------
You must have a huge hate-on for me to be willing to come back twice and give it two -2's. It's kind of sad really.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-17 13:40:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This should have went under the science category...
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-06-17 13:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-17 13:23:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-06-17 12:20:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for "make an appointment with a vacuum cleaner"
awesomly raw.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you Will. I appreciate that.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-06-17 12:20:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for "make an appointment with a vacuum cleaner"
awesomly raw.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-17 12:13:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-06-17 12:08:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-06-17 11:21:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-17 11:16:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2004-06-17 11:06:25 (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope you're not too, as you really don't sound like you deserve to be
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Thank you. Even though you meant it in a rude way, I don't think I deserve to be pregnant either.
I have said that I would be a terrible Mum. I know this & am resposible enought to make sure that I don't bring an unwanted life into this world. A baby at this stage in my life would be resented. At least I am honest enough to say that I would not be capable of giving a baby what it needs to have a good life.
I am a step-mother & a pretty good one. But I am not around her 24 / 7, thank god for her. We get along great but I don't know what kind of parent I would be if I had to deal with a child 24 /7. And I don't want to take the risk of flippping out & ruining another humans life.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2004-06-17 11:11:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"Piss on a stick" ... How eloquent.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-17 11:08:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sounds kinda like vertigo to me
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2004-06-17 11:06:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope you're not too, as you really don't sound like you deserve to be.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-06-17 11:06:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-06-17 10:59:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Take two RU-486s and call me in the morning.
================================
HAHAHAHA!!
Seriously, change practitioners. ask for a copy of your records to take elsewhere.
Submitted by TkdMoose (user info) at 2004-06-17 11:05:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for the use of the work 'tinkle'.
-1 for the thought of a period. Yuck.
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-06-17 11:05:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-06-17 10:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Take two RU-486s and call me in the morning.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-06-17 10:53:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment