Music and Kisses (740 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.63 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mary Mathis <pirynne_18.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-06-17 23:30:17 EDT
Thursday night I have absolutely nothing to do except lie on my back listen to my demo CD and daydream about his kisses. It's hard being home all alone when I'm 40 days sober. My parents are in Maryland, my sister out like usual and I just want to drink all the liquor in my house. Tonight seems like the perfect night for a relapse. But Rob, my good ole partner in crime made me promise on us.
I smoke two cigarettes..I go online a little bit and try to talk with my EX. He is up to no good, doesn't want to talk I guess. I watch download some porno online and then masturbate about ten times in front of bedroom mirror. Then I lie on the floor and listen to two tracks on my demo CD about ten times. I think long and hard about whether I should submit it to ASCAP, SONY all that shit. But I can't drink. I can be addicted to cigarettes, sex, good old rock and roll.
Yep in all honesty that's pretty much what I do...when I am wanting to drink. I distract myself with I guess some other addictions.
But there are good things I do like work on my songs and sing at the top of my lungs. Rob and I play CD's for each other and sing over the phone. Today we sang NOFX, Saves The Day, New Found Glory and some other punk rock shit. We talk on the phone alot. We bullshit, we hang up on each other, play "Mary Had a Little Lamb" on the phone keys, what else can we do when we are in recovery??? We act like good little highschool students who never ever go to parties.
Every night before I go to bed I take my meds so I won't have nightmares, it doesn't really work, it's called Clonidine and it's for people with high blood pressure but my doctor swears up and down that it will make my dreams go away. My counselor just told me I should think good thoughts before going to bed. So I read my "Waifs and Strays" book, my Day Of Healing, Day of Joy book, write in my journal and then lie on my back with the light that was on during our first kiss. I just close my eyes and replay it over and over again in my mind. Most of these recent nights it's the only thing that works.
Music and kisses, yep you guessed it my latest two really strong addictions.
User Reviews
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-06-28 10:12:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You say you want to recover, but you aren't doing the things needed in recovery to keep you sober.
Again, this is fair warning: straighten up, or suffer the consequences.
Submitted by Raimee (user info) at 2004-06-26 01:11:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rizzo, You really are a fucking asshole. I work hard everyday. What the fuck am I suppossed to do? jesus. You have NO right to give me fair warning. Look at your fucking bullshit post of suicide and hope. you are fucking hypocrit liar.
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-06-24 20:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You are not working your recovery right.
This is fair warning. Start concentrating on your recovery or you will relapse.
Submitted by Uberfuck (user info) at 2004-06-21 18:35:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Chicks look at porn and masturbate? Cool.....
Seriously, good luck with the sobriety. I'm told that the first 30 days are the hardest, so it sounds like you've hit a milestone.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-18 15:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good luck in your endevours
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-06-18 09:32:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Dump all the stuff in the house out. It'll only call your name.
Rent a movie or start a stamp collection...anything to occupy your thoughts.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2004-06-18 05:08:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What a sweet way to suppress your urge to indulge.
Submitted by misanthrope (user info) at 2004-06-18 02:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hang in there. If you are in recovery, you should probably not have any liquor in your house.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-06-18 00:58:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hang in there. you can do it!
Submitted by Fishtits (user info) at 2004-06-18 00:19:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was going to congradulate you, but the thought of you in front of the mirror kinda
made my mind wander.
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-06-18 00:14:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
?
Submitted by shadowdragon (user info) at 2004-06-18 00:12:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
blawunkiringdoinp
Submitted by Raimee (user info) at 2004-06-18 00:03:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who should be raped dead and why???
WTF
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-18 00:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well fu-hu-ck you.
Submitted by convicted_child_rapist (user info) at 2004-06-17 23:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Both of you should be raped dead.
Submitted by Raimee (user info) at 2004-06-17 23:58:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shut up shitface who ever you are.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-17 23:53:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Give ya a nickel!
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-17 23:52:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fine, be that way.
Oh come on just send me one.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-06-17 23:51:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Paragraphs go great with music too.
But forget all that--you're just a fucking slag. Congratulations! Die!
Submitted by Raimee (user info) at 2004-06-17 23:51:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It will be coming to a store near you very soon.
hahahha.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-17 23:46:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Demo CD? Can I have a copy?