The Ineptness of the Lowly Pizza Delivery Man (616 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.12 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Marblehead Johnson (View user info) at 2004-06-18 22:27:04 EDT
I sometimes question why I look at, rate on or post on Ubersite sometimes. Mostly its because I have nothing to do at work. I have no idea what I'm going to post about so here we go...
Why are there still fifty and one-hundred dollar bills in circulation? Every other fucking time I go to use one someone says "sorry I don't have change for that." This usually results in me either A)Walking out of the store swearing and cursing the stupid broad who won't let me pay for a fucking pack of cigarettes with a fifty dollar bill or B)Arguing with the jackass at the counter until they fess up that they do infact have that elusive $45 they would need to give me my change it would just mean they would have to do a little extra work to get that change for me.
What the hell is the deal with this? I have money, they have products I want but they will not let me spend money in their store. Maybe if they kept a tiny bit more money accessable they wouldn't lose sales and could afford to build the little bullet-proof plexi-glass box. I mean what does it take?
Pizza delivery drives are another story in and of themselves. I ordered a pizza the other night and went to pay with a fifty, guess what happened. When the driver saw I was paying with a fifty the driver said "if you're going to pay with a fifty you have to tell us in advance otherwise we don't have change for it." How am I, a reasonably intelligent person, supposed to know that the driver won't have the measley $25 dollars its going to take to give me change? So after this little, "I don't have the change" bit I retreat back into my humble abode momentarily to see if any of my friends have anything other than a fifty. I should also mention that while in my house trying to find change the pizza delivery guy heard the barrage of my "fuck this, what fucking good is a fifty fucking dollar fucking bill if I fucking can't fucking spend the fucking fucker? How the fuck can you operate a fucking god damn son of a bitching piece of shit company if you fucking don't fucking accept fifty fucking dollar bills." I then proceeded back to the waiting pizza delivery driver with the bad news that the only thing I have is a fifty. Upon returning the driver he somehow managed to pull change for a fifty out of his ass. Well well well, did the driver have change for a fifty the whole time? Unless he started shitting out dollar bills like an ATM on the fritz then he did. The lying mother fucker had change for fifty the entire time. So instead of just saying up front that the driver had change he had to jerk me around and nearly give me a stroke. That son of a bitch. I could barely contain my shaking fists as a I accepted my $25.17. How could some cunt so inept at dealing with the general public get a job where a good portion of the task involves dealing with assholes like me? Given its not the most illustrious job but they have to have some sort of screening process other that making sure you're at least 50-75lbs over weight.
If anybody who reads this is a good pizza delivery person or a good cashier I apologize. If any bad cashier or pizza delivery person has this read to them by their mom then fuck you. Get a job where you don't have to deal with the public. May I suggest cleaning peep show booths with your tongue?
P.S. I don't care about grammatical or spelling errors so don't point them out.
P.S.S. I know just because I said that some cunts going to.
User Reviews
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-06-20 18:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really don't mean to be a link whore. Well... I do. This somehow ties in to all of this: http://www.ubersite.com/m/33185
And by the by, you're absofuckinglutely right, fucking change-whores!!
Submitted by sosjtb1999 (user info) at 2004-06-20 18:35:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2004-06-19 02:18:03 (#)
Ranking: -1
I think you meant "Ineptitude". And you used "sometimes" twice in the first sentence. Other than that, the post was complete shit! See ya!
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Submitted by krootons (user info) at 2004-06-19 20:32:28 (#)
Ranking: -1
The word (as previously said) is ineptitude. It's not their fault that they aren't trusted
with enough change to break a $50, and you swear too much (it really is childish).
Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary
One entry found for inept.
Main Entry: in·ept
Pronunciation: i-'nept
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle French inepte, from Latin ineptus, from in- + aptus apt
1 : lacking in fitness or aptitude : UNFIT
2 : lacking sense or reason : FOOLISH
3 : not suitable to the time, place, or occasion : inappropriate often to an absurd degree
4 : generally incompetent : BUNGLING
synonym see AWKWARD
- in·ept·ly /-'nep(t)-lE/ adverb
- in·ept·ness /-n&s/ noun<------------------------------LOOK AT THIS, IT IS FROM MERRIAM WEBSTER
Main Entry: in·ep·ti·tude
Pronunciation: (")i-'nep-t&-"tüd, -"tyüd
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin ineptitudo, from ineptus
: the quality or state of being inept; especially : INCOMPETENCE
Jackass!
Submitted by krootons (user info) at 2004-06-19 20:32:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
The word (as previously said) is ineptitude. It's not their fault that they aren't trusted
with enough change to break a $50, and you swear too much (it really is childish).
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-06-19 11:32:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Try working pizza delivery before you jump down peoples throats about it. Remember that these people are working for a living too, and the nicer you are to them, the less chance they'll masturbate on your pizza next time.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2004-06-19 02:18:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I think you meant "Ineptitude". And you used "sometimes" twice in the first sentence. Other than that, the post was complete shit! See ya!
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-06-19 01:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Pizza Man at 2004-06-18 22:35:06 (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm a pizza man, and you know why I can't always give change for a fifty? Because I'm only given twenty dollars in my bag. So when I have three deliveries in my car, and I give all my spare money to you, I'm fucked for the other two. Maybe you need to look at how much of an idiot you are. If you always have trouble with this, why don't you just carry smaller bills? It's always got to be someone else's fault but yours, right? Pull your head out of your ass.
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I was a delivery guy too (I even had a series of posts about it that were mildly successful), and I really have to agree with the things written above. However, even though you don't have a very good knowledge of the shit we have to go through, at least you aren't dick who says "ALL PIZZA DELIVERY GUYS ARE AWFUL AND I GIVE NO TIPS WHATSOEVER BECAUSE THEY DON'T DESERVE ANY CUT OF THE MONEY I WORK MODERATELY HARD TO GET!" +1 for that.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2004-06-19 00:04:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
P.S.S. I know just because I said that some cunts going to.
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It's P.P.S. you fucking cocksucker.
Submitted by CDizzle (user info) at 2004-06-18 23:47:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I work at papa johns, and AMEN. I wish those bastards would give us enough to change a 50. Or better yet, get a safe with something other than a 20 minute delayed lock so if someone does come in with a 50, the safe can be opened to make change.
Submitted by A-Daamage (user info) at 2004-06-18 23:01:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Where I work, they only give us 15 in change. It is done this way to prevent a major loss of money because delivery drivers do get robbed. If this happens, the jerk only gets a maximum of 15 dollars and feels like a jackass for robbing a delivery driver which should hopefully (if he has any brains at all) cause him to reconsider ever doing it again and to go rob someone who carries more than $15.
I have never had this problem myself because when I'm at the bank, I ask for twenties. I do this because unless I plan on purchasing something that's more than 40 dollars, I don't want to have to go through the hastle of searching for smaller bills because larger bills aren't accepted for smaller orders most of the time. Not to mention you can just pull out multiple twenties/tens anyway. Instead of blowing your stack and sounding like a retard, have a little forethought and ask for twenties. People like you are the reason delivery drivers aren't as pleasant as they used to be. Settle the fuck down and plan ahead.
Submitted by sosjtb1999 (user info) at 2004-06-18 22:40:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I see somebody's mommy has read them a bed time uberpost
Submitted by Pizza Man at 2004-06-18 22:35:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm a pizza man, and you know why I can't always give change for a fifty? Because I'm only given twenty dollars in my bag. So when I have three deliveries in my car, and I give all my spare money to you, I'm fucked for the other two. Maybe you need to look at how much of an idiot you are. If you always have trouble with this, why don't you just carry smaller bills? It's always got to be someone else's fault but yours, right? Pull your head out of your ass.