Foreplay is the key to great Orgasms - Real Foreplay (1930 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.08 on 50 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by GassyGirl73 (View user info) at 2004-06-19 10:01:34 EDT
My boyfriend of about 6 months is great in bed. We mesh well. We are still in the early stages of a relationship where we are pretty much hot for eachother all the time. Its nice. He is very attentive to my nipples, ears, neck, etc.- as I am him during foreplay.
But the other day he came home while I was in the shower and hops in with me. No big deal, thats alway fun. Naked bodies wet and covered in soap is a good thing. But he decides he wants to wash my hair.
Ladies - Holy Shit. Pure ecstasy. Intense joy and delight. My entire body went into a whole other realm, the intensity took me beyond self control. The best idea hes ever had.
For all the men out there who have not done this yet, do it. Make your woman tremble from something entirely sweet and loving and she will repay you ten fold. I'm sure of it.
oh yea, and heres the finger for all of you bashers.
User Reviews
Submitted by cheruboo (user info) at 2004-08-13 10:20:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your ugly. Lose weight.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-29 17:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/36933
Submitted by SoxSexSax (user info) at 2004-06-24 17:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Who gives a fuck how the woman feels?
Submitted by Jocko_Johnson (user info) at 2004-06-24 17:29:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd fuck you in the mouth.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-06-24 16:04:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-24 11:29:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
fetish is right, ashlee.
and no it's not like you came here and said " oooh.. um good job but i don't like it"
you came in here with you fucking cunt attitude and started shit.
___
A) I didn't say "good job but I don't like it" because I didn't feel it was a good job. At all.
B) I did not "start shit." I came and gave this post the review I thought it deserved, with my comment being the word "no." I don't know how you get attitude out of "no," but really, it's just a word.
____
how many times did you review this, ashlee? twice? was this post THAT bad that
you felt you had to drop the ratings? you couldn't just -2 it and leave. you had to stab the author then come back and give the knife a twist for good measure.
becaue you're a fucking DOUCHE BAG CUNT! she wasn't talking about killing kids,
she wasn't making fun of your mongoloid mom, she wasn't arguing abortion
or gay rights that could make someone heated.
she talked about fucking foreplay. are you that against foreplay? are you lonely ashlee?
do you take your frustrations out on other people?
_______
I *did* leave a -2 and move on, until the author decided to launch a personal attack (given, it was not a very good one, but the principal remains.). Unlike you, miserable whore that you are, and this girl, some people in the world can handle criticism on thier posts without getting all bent out of shape. I don't see how I "stabbed her in the back" with the word "no," but then, some people take things way more personally than they really should. You seem to be one of them.
Oh my, is that a "your mom!" attack I see? How very... laughable. I do hope you realize that once you've left grade school behind, "your mom" insults just don't pack quite the same punch that they used to.
Furthermore, I'm married, you stupid, sad little loser. I get to have sex whenever I want. You call *me* lonely, yet you're the one who drools over guys you've never even seen because they were nice to you on an internet forum. And I must say, with regard to the way you act towards your little golden boy, I honestly see you as one of those people that would "date" someone, tell your friends about him and how you love him, and inevitabley end up moving to wherever he is to be in a relationship with him, all before meeting them in person. I can only hold onto the hope that you do this, and your Prince Charming turns out to be a madman who locks you in the basement and keeps you as a sex slave, the grand finale being that he beats you to death and displays your head in a little glass case on his coffee table.
_____
i didn't even have any opinion of you until a few days ago. i heard people
bitching about you and i just ignored them. then i came face to face with you
and you are a fucking venemous bitch. how am i the moron when half the people in here would like to see you die a horrible death?
________
I don't know how you got "venemous bitch" from those two times I've directly adressed you here, but again, you seem a tad oversensitive. Although, I do think it's absolutely wonderful that people told you about me, I love it when I make enough of an impact on someone that they feel the need to talk about me when I'm not around. I'd like, though, to know who all these people are; You see, I do know a few enemies of mine, namely fetish and tartpumper, but fetish is a fucking idiot and tartie's only around once in a great while. I have attracted my share of little morons that need to pick fights with me after I've handed them their ass, but, as a rule, they tend to disappear within a month or so (for example: Franger, and that little weirdo who hates Kristen and myself). But your claim is amusing, for it's quite the contrary, I'm friends with a great many people from Ubersite. If some people can't handle the fact that I'm better than they are, well, that's really their problem, isn't it?
_____
maybe you should reevaluate your life. realize that you are worthless
and your a fucking thorn in people's sides.
______
Blah, blah, blah, blah, grow a thicker skin you worthless twat.
_______
go find a nice rope, a beam and a chair. you'd
make the world a better place you fucking skank bitch.
_________
After you.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-06-24 16:00:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
-2 for the post.
If you really want to try something, try having him kneel you on the bed, with your hands on the backboard. Then if you lift your hands, he stops whatever he is doing.
I did this to my girl, and she REFUSED to lift her hands. So I kept going until she grabbed me. Then I just stopped. Then she fucked the shit out of me. All over the house. She literally grabbed my dick and drug me into the living room and threw me on the couch. It was the best sex we have ever had.
+4 for everybody ripping on ashlee.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-24 15:40:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i like your name - person below me.
Submitted by lickalotopuss (user info) at 2004-06-24 15:19:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
whatever happened to good old fashioned oral? now i have to wash your hair too?
Submitted by lickalotopuss (user info) at 2004-06-24 15:12:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
like that shampoo commercial?
Submitted by ferrisbeuller (user info) at 2004-06-24 13:23:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Queen Ashlee is just jealous. She was an outcast in school.
No one invited her to any birthday parties. Maybe you should pity her.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-24 11:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
another +2 becasue i don't believe one person's (ashlee's) rating
should count more than once...
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2004-06-24 11:34:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, sorry scrub that.
I hope you get AIDS, cancer, diabetes, one of your lung collapses and then you get eaten by a rabid dog.
All within 30 seconds.
Bitch.
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2004-06-24 11:31:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope you fall face first into the worlds most powerful hedge strimmer ashlee you fucking lonely whoar with rotten teeth.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-24 11:30:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i count 5 -2's from ashlee
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-24 11:29:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fetish is right, ashlee.
and no it's not like you came here and said " oooh.. um good job but i don't like it"
you came in here with you fucking cunt attitude and started shit.
how many times did you review this, ashlee? twice? was this post THAT bad that
you felt you had to drop the ratings? you couldn't just -2 it and leave.
you had to stab the author then come back and give the knife a twist for good measure.
becaue you're a fucking DOUCHE BAG CUNT! she wasn't talking about killing kids,
she wasn't making fun of your mongoloid mom, she wasn't arguing abortion
or gay rights that could make someone heated.
she talked about fucking foreplay. are you that against foreplay? are you lonely ashlee?
do you take your frustrations out on other people?
i didn't even have any opinion of you until a few days ago. i heard people
bitching about you and i just ignored them. then i came face to face with you
and you are a fucking venemous bitch.
how am i the moron when half the people in here would like to see you die a horrible death?
maybe you should reevaluate your life. realize that you are worthless
and your a fucking thorn in people's sides.
go find a nice rope, a beam and a chair. you'd
make the world a better place you fucking skank bitch.
Submitted by johnyboyny <johnyboyny.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-06-24 11:23:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thats cute that fat girls still get laid.see im right there is somebody for everyone
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-24 11:19:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Usually, when I rate a post, I do so with little to no bias."
---
Come on Asslee. If I ever were to write something of JMG caliber, you'd still -2 it.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-06-22 23:01:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-19 21:56:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
well you don't have to be a fucking cunt about it. that was your 2nd -2
on her post. was it THAT BAD?
__________
God you're a moron.
Let me explain it to you since you're clearly too thick to get it on your own. Usually, when I rate a post, I do so with little to no bias. If I think it was good, I give it a positive rating, and if I think it was bad, I give it a negative rating. However, when the person who wrote the post gets all up in arms and acts like a 3rd grader because I gave them a poor rating, I find myself annoyed by their apparent stupidity. If someone attacks me, they can expect nothing less than a retaliation on my part. If I find someone immature, stupid, or annoying, you can damn well bet that I'll point it out. And if you got your head out of your ass for ten seconds, I'm sure you'd understand why.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-20 19:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for being doable.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-20 15:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2004-06-20 00:02:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahahahaha Mick!
Queen Ashlee is a real cunt. Isn't she?
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-06-19 22:26:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Johnny Boy at 2004-06-19 14:19:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
Cat fight!
For the gentlemen out there. This is a little known trick in bed that will bring you great pleasure. Have your girl -you ready?- put your penis in her mouth. It's so great. I can't believe no ones ever thought of it before. The reason for the zero is because I'm not logged in and my ratings don't count.
--------
HA HA.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-06-19 22:16:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hmmmm....I must be doing something wrong.
I tried washing my hair and it didn't turn me on at all, so I went back to spitting on my hand and watching re-runs of Trauma, Life in the ER....instant wood and a satisfying orgasm, followed by pretzel rods and MXC. Life is good.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-06-19 22:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:03:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
you know what other bathing activity you might want to try as foreplay?
have him scrub you down with a push broom in the parking lot like a circus animal.
PURE FUCKING ECSTACY!
__________________________________________
Now that was worth reading.
This post really wasn't. At all. It had absolutely no merit. "My boyfriend washed my hair and it felt good! I'm going to write about it!"
Maybe if you'd put it in as part of a story, or part of a "The reason your woman won't fuck you is because you don't do shit like this:" tutorial, or something, anything. On its own it wasn't worth the time it took to read it.
And is that you in the pic? You work with a computer and yet you fuck up with monotonous regularity?
Almost funny enough to deserve a 0. Almost.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-19 21:56:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:28:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
No.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:52:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
I've had my hair washed by a guy before, sorry, it just didn't do anything for me. When you've been in a relationship for 4 years, you go around the foreplay block more than once, and sorry, but there are things that are WAY more arousing than a guy doing my stylist's job.
==========================================================================
well you don't have to be a fucking cunt about it. that was your 2nd -2
on her post. was it THAT BAD?
Gassy, thanks for the tip.
Submitted by mad_monkey_mojo (user info) at 2004-06-19 15:35:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If that's you in the pic giving the finger, I'll wash your hair any day. You get a +2 for being edible.
If that's not you, then enjoy the +2 and I hope your boyfriend turns out gay.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-06-19 14:56:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh come on. This had at least a chance of being a semi-decent post, but you took that chance and hit it with hard right hook, kicked it in the mouth a few times, planted a knee firmly in its groin, and finished it off by running around bitching about how your hand hurts from the first blow. This post sucked- miserably. The only reason that I don't rate this -2 is that you finally got that whole picture thing down.
Oh wait... -2 anyway.
http://www.despair.com/demotivators/incompetence.html
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-19 14:29:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for happy memories.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-06-19 14:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Personally, i prefer giving my girlfriend's vagina a thorough scrub down with my penis.
And as for a rating, I'm gonna try out this hair washing stuff, and get back to you based on the results ;D
*meows at impending catfight*
Submitted by Johnny Boy at 2004-06-19 14:19:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cat fight!
For the gentlemen out there. This is a little known trick in bed that will bring you great pleasure. Have your girl -you ready?- put your penis in her mouth. It's so great. I can't believe no ones ever thought of it before. The reason for the zero is because I'm not logged in and my ratings don't count.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-06-19 13:56:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You mean the picture you couldn't attatch properly? IT ISN'T THAT HARD.
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-06-19 13:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
At this point Management has asked me to refer you to the finger above.
Have a nice day.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-06-19 13:46:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You really are a moron, aren't you?
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-06-19 13:16:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:52:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
I've had my hair washed by a guy before, sorry, it just didn't do anything for me. When you've been in a relationship for 4 years, you go around the foreplay block more than once, and sorry, but there are things that are WAY more arousing than a guy doing my stylist's job.
_______________________________________________________________________________
It sounds like not much of anything can do it for you with that attitude. And this is just one of the many pleasurable things we enjoy that I thought would be overlooked because it is not the most obvious. Most obvious like your bitch-box.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-06-19 13:01:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Stupid.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another for asslee.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You'll have to excuse Ashlee. It's that time of the month for her: http://www.ubersite.com/m/36059
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:52:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I've had my hair washed by a guy before, sorry, it just didn't do anything for me. When you've been in a relationship for 4 years, you go around the foreplay block more than once, and sorry, but there are things that are WAY more arousing than a guy doing my stylist's job.
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:49:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cum swab cum swab cum swab cum swab
thanks.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:46:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Funniest thing MickGinny has ever said.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:40:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
saying cum swab = -2
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:34:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:28:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
No.
__________________________________
You must be a dumb cum swab to say no to that...
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:30:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:03:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
you know what other bathing activity you might want to try as foreplay?
have him scrub you down with a push broom in the parking lot like a circus animal.
PURE FUCKING ECSTACY!
-----------
Dude, I'm laughing so hard I'm fucking crying here. Jesus...
Anyway, I don't see what all this foreplay shit is about. I have great orgasms ALL the time, and I don't even talk dirty to myself. And don't any of you assholes knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love. Settle down, I'm bullshitting. I'm married. My wife makes me do all kinds of dirty shit. Pity she had to die.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:28:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:13:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:03:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
you know what other bathing activity you might want to try as foreplay?
have him scrub you down with a push broom in the parking lot like a circus animal.
PURE FUCKING ECSTACY!
---------------------------
Funny as fuck.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-06-19 12:03:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you know what other bathing activity you might want to try as foreplay?
have him scrub you down with a push broom in the parking lot like a circus animal.
PURE FUCKING ECSTACY!
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-19 10:47:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Agreed. My ex used to wash my hair for me all the time. It was the best.
Submitted by shadowdragon (user info) at 2004-06-19 10:31:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I better write this down somewhere...on the inside of my eyelid maybe.
Submitted by Fag <ifuckchickens.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-06-19 10:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHA that was very entertaining
If such a person existed he would be a complete moron
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-06-19 10:08:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd jack off on your face.