George greets Mr. Hernandez: Tales of the monoculous kind. (694 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.61 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dr. Monoculous (View user info) at 2004-06-19 15:27:03 EDT
"What's this?" The Monkeysaurasrex asked.
"That's a genetically enhanced Venus Flytrap." I responded.
"A Venus what?"
"Venus flytrap."
"Well, that's weird. What does it do?"
"It eats flesh of course."
"A plant eats?"
"Certainly."
"But how? Where is its mouth?"
"See, this is interesting. I combined this rainforest plant called an Elephant Ear with the flytrap. It's leaves are sticky. When flies buzz onto it to eat the stick sap, it gets stuck and the plant then sends up acids to digest it."
"Weird."
"No kidding."
"So why are you doing this?"
"Most every pass-time I partake in I partake in because I have nothing better to do. Now, lets go look and see how my sea monkeys are doing."
I rolled over in my chair to another end of my desk where I had a tank of water with small things swimming around in them.
"Brine shrimp?" George asked.
"Nope. Chimps."
"Wha?"
"Take a closer look." To George's surprise, there were little aquatic Chimps swimming around and eating algae.
"How did you do that though?"
"Eh, don't ask. It's too complicated to explain without an entire chalk board."
"How big will they get?"
"Not much bigger I hope."
"What else do you have down here?"
"A lot." I paused for a moment. "Oh it's time for some tea."
With George on my shoulder, we walked up the stairs to get our tea. I placed the kettle on just in time for the doorbell to ring.
"Why HELLO Mr. Hernandez!" I greeted him.
"Listen Monoculous, I'm going to get you for blowing up my dog."
"Still on the subject of the dog are you?"
"Yeah still on the...wait a minute what is that?"
"What is what? Oh this? This is George."
"Wha...what is it?"
"Well I'm a Monkeysaurasrex." It said to him.
"What?"
"What do you mean what?"
"Ok, I'm going to go home."
"Goodbye sir." I slowly closed the door.
"Why does he act so afraid?"
"Hmm, oh I know why. Where he comes from, a place called Utah, it is customary for him to seem confused." I smiled.
"Really?"
"Yes, it means that he likes you." I nodded.
"He does?"
"Absolutely. In fact, why don't you take these flowers over there right now and give them to him."
"Should I?"
"Go for it. Oh, it might be in his culture to run. If he does, chase him making high pitched screeches while flailing your arms and snapping your teeth together."
I sent the little fear-master on his way. He hopped into the open window and walked into the house. I stood there at my front door. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Ah there it was, Mr. Hernandez screaming.
"Oh well look at that. Mr. Hernandez is running from George out his front door." Shortly after Mr. Hernandez took off out the front door, George was out after him, chasing him down the sidewalk, flailing his arms and screeching.
"Oh, sweet sweet Doctor, you truly are a bad person." I chuckled to myself.
User Reviews
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-06-21 02:39:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would like a George of my very own.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-20 11:23:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-19 17:58:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
DRDRDRDRDR
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I think I'm going to create a bunch of new usernames to +2 my posts.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-06-20 02:20:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SoxSexSax (user info) at 2004-06-20 00:30:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, deserving of a +2 but surely if you can create posts of this quality you'd be better off doing it under your Tom user name to obtain more hits?
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-19 17:58:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DRDRDRDRDR
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-19 17:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahaha!!!
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-06-19 16:42:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bout time you got back to this.
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-06-19 16:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good - not quite as good as the first one, but good.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-06-19 16:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. You were right. Bizarre.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-06-19 15:39:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-06-19 15:38:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Loving it.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-06-19 15:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-06-19 15:30:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
in soviet russia, mr.hernandez meets george