I don't give a fuck that you drive an SUV. (1129 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 0.6 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Durae (View user info) at 2004-06-20 22:30:21 EDT
Whatever badass, rugged capitalist image that SUVs are supposed to provide, doesn't
seem worth the price of filling up the gas tank. But you disagree apparently, and quite
frankly I don't care what you drive. I'm not an environmentalist saint and I only write
about it because I deal with these issues every day at work. I care about the
environment, in the sense that clean water is kind of important to me and I recognize
that we can't trust monied interests to protect us. You could have raw freakin
sewage in your drinking water and they wouldn't tell you if they didn't have to. So I
knock on doors with the good intention of protecting people. Maybe it's my
penance for littering all the time. The bottom line of this is that I don't care wtf you
drive through the McDonald's drivethru.
However, when I picture an SUV all I can see is my tiny little five-foot tall mom sitting
behind the wheel of one of them. An environmentalist victory in legislation got a law
passed subjecting the auto industry to gas mileage regulation. The entire fleet of cars
any company sold had to average below a certain designated mileage. This made
some people kind of grumpy, so they brainstormed their way out of it by creating the
SUV. SUVs are not categorized as cars and are therefore exempt from the fleet
regulation. But who would be dumb enough to drive these massive gas-guzzling
pieces of shit? Moms who drive station wagons. So they stopped making station
wagons, which are considered cars, and started making SUVs instead, forcing former
sw drivers to buy these outrageously inefficient vehicles.
So if you wanna be like my mom and drive those jackass things, I don't really care.
But I wouldn't glorify it so much, considering when you drive the things, the gas and auto
industries are basically laughing at you for being a stupid consumer. I guess that's the
American way?
User Reviews
Submitted by Big Al at 2004-07-05 01:23:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Durae, I want you to read this directly. I don't mean to be a kiss-up, but I love your work and I would like to ask you if you are going to write anything else. Your messages are true, to-the-point, and fun to read. So, please, are you going to write anymore messages?
Submitted by Phil Osophical at 2004-07-04 21:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your losing your touch jerkface. I'm disapointed.
Submitted by Phil Osopher at 2004-07-04 21:39:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
C'mon, thats just lame! Say somthing funny! After all, I'm a big fan!
Submitted by koreanboi2030 <koreanboi3.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-07-04 20:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YU HAV SUV? KOREA ONLY HAV BIKES GO THARE THIN YU SEE YU WIHS YU USA.
Submitted by JewdoMaster (user info) at 2004-07-04 20:27:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't let the haters get you down, I know what ya' mean.
Submitted by Phil Osophical at 2004-07-04 20:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I am a cock sucker Durae. I wish that I could lick the juicy love particals from between your butt cheeks, while I fuck myself with my peg leg. Argggh!
Submitted by Big Al at 2004-07-04 00:22:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Durae, ROCK ON AND KEEP UP YOUR GREAT WORK!
Submitted by Phil Osophical at 2004-07-04 00:21:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your a genius Durae.
Submitted by Phil Osophical at 2004-07-04 00:05:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
C'mon, Jerkface, I'm ecouraging you! Keep 'em coming!
Submitted by Phil Osophical at 2004-07-03 23:59:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats right! You still crack me up, but now your grasping. You need new material!
Submitted by Phil Osophical at 2004-07-03 23:57:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Check out my confession a few replies down. In fact let me quote it again:
"I am a homosexual ass clown! How did you know?"
Submitted by Phil Osophical at 2004-07-03 23:57:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats great stuff, keep it up Jerkface! You should be a humor writer!
Submitted by Jerkface at 2004-07-03 23:55:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So what you are saying is that you did take offense to them at one point. You are a true Man's Man Phil the Phucker, a true same sex genital lover. Third person is the only way to refer to myself when I am quoting myself, you drippy cumlips, so go wipe your mouth.
Submitted by Cjad_teh_Nord (user info) at 2004-07-03 23:39:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just what the SUV needs, a kick to the croth to tip it over! But I eat other animals, does that make me a bad person?
Submitted by Phil Osophical at 2004-07-03 23:26:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and the queer way you refer to yourself in third-person is also genius!
Submitted by Phil Osophical at 2004-07-03 23:24:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your comments have become so pointless that I don't even take offense to them, I find them hilarious! You truly have a way with words Jerkface. Keep up the good work, I'm a big fan!
Submitted by Jerkface at 2004-07-03 23:15:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Jerkface said that you were a homosexual ass clown, not Grandfucker. Phillip, I am truly sorry that the circus is making you work overtime this week. And on the subject of parents, your mother was quite the show yesterday; she plays a great bearded lady. I am sure that you request to hear gay confessions from every guy you stalk, but please leave your homosexual fantasies to yourself. Yes, Phil the Colostomy Bag, I will continue to insult all of you pillow-biting rectum raiders because Jerkface knows what role cock gobblers like yourself play in this world. You are cobblestones for a greater man to walk on. Go fuck yourself with a battle-axe.
Submitted by Phil Osophical (the real one) at 2004-07-03 22:59:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am a homosexual ass clown! How did you know? But really, whats going on in your life to make you such a bad person? Did your parents divorce? Are you having trouble accepting your homosexual tendencies? You can tell me, I'll listen and give you words of advice. Insult me all you want, but your the one who has to die knowing he made no difference in this world. So, instead of acting like a complete moron, why can't we all get along? I did nothing to you.
Submitted by Jerkface at 2004-07-03 22:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fetish is a fag
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-03 21:01:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-21 09:39:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Alfa_Veloce (user info) at 2004-06-20 22:45:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
lojope, I could love u better than fetish.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Not bloody likely.
---
I just saw this. How sweet. *feels all mushy inside*
Submitted by Phil Osophical at 2004-07-03 20:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I like to have sex with small animals. I am Bozo the ass clown and I am comming to a town near you. Fuck You!
Submitted by Water at 2004-07-03 20:30:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm having a revelation! I love all fuzzy animals and I think your speech is just splended Durae! (P.S. -As you've seen from my insecure, homophobic comments, I am gay)
Submitted by Phil Osophical (the real one) at 2004-07-03 20:28:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ignore "my" last comment. It was oviously an impersonater, a stupid, insecure one at that. Keep up your work and remember, people like you are the reason the human race is still alive. Keep up your great enviromental work and your eloquent speeches!
Submitted by Phil Osophical at 2004-07-03 16:07:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Durae, you are a complete idiot. Please disregard any encouragement that I have given you in the past. I just realized that I am a homosexual ass clown, and I am going to join the circus. Fuck you.
Submitted by Jerkface at 2004-07-03 15:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Somebody needs to drive a hummer up your ass and pop a wheelie. Shut the fuck up with all this environmental bullshit. You use a computer that is comprised of environment hating materials, and has an Internet provider that is trying its best to expand into the rural communities of the world. You are the most unintelligent butt pirate ever to grace the pages of a website. I hope that a flock of bald eagle chokes on some plastic and falls on your family, killing them all instantly. You faggoty ass faggot.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-06-30 23:16:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i like my SUV. it has lots of luxury options, which are nice. i owned a Civic before it, and it couldn't offer those things. i often fold the seats down to haul things. my Civic couldn't do that. i like to take my Jeep off-road often and have some fun. my Civic couldn't go off-road. everyone expects me to drive when i go out with a group of people. while it is true that my Civic was made to seat as many people as my SUV, it's nowhere near as comfortable or safe if an accident were to occur. also, on New Year's Eve, i had to haul a very large group of drunk people, because they were not fit to drive, and i was sober. there was no way to get a cab for any of them, but they could all fit in my SUV if some of them sat in the back, behind the rear seats. they all got home safe. there is no way they all would have fit in my Civic.
my SUV has served me well and continues to do so. and... i can afford the gas. sure, i don't NEED an SUV, which is causing the world's oil supply to go faster, but there's a lot of things you don't need, either. take the computer you are using, for instance. oil was required for it to be manufactured. many will say it's not the same thing, but i don't agree with that logic. i use my SUV for many purposes, just like people use their trucks for their intended purpose. i don't hear anyone saying Ford should stop making F-350's. why? because you can haul things with them. they have a purpose. well, so does my SUV.
Submitted by Phil Osophical at 2004-06-29 15:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And you, Water, don't have the intellegence to write a sane sentence. Why would you sink so low to insult Durae over her logical and intellegent oppinion? Why can't we all just be nice?
Submitted by water (user info) at 2004-06-29 02:46:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you dont have the money to fucken buy one dickhead
Submitted by Phil Osophical at 2004-06-29 02:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My god, you hit home. I really think that most Americans think they can make up for ego-size with car size. The only circumstance where an SUV would be neccesary is for hauling a large family through the wilderness, which, for some reason, I don't think the average SUV driver does. SUVs are utterly useless and I sincerely hope that hybrids will become more popular to aid the enviroment and other drivers as well. Great speech and I hope you do many more like it!
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-06-21 10:32:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here here! Them's SUVs is big yo!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-06-21 10:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
pointless
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-21 09:39:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Alfa_Veloce (user info) at 2004-06-20 22:45:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
lojope, I could love u better than fetish.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Not bloody likely.
Submitted by ninjatut (user info) at 2004-06-20 23:36:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Expect many thanks for helping people realize that SUVs are less fuel efficient and cost more to operate than some cars.
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2004-06-20 23:02:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't care that people drive them, that's just a tribute to the lack of thought people put into their buying habits. We all buy stupid shit. The reason for the post was I wanted to disseminate a little corporate conspiracy that I learned about.
Submitted by DancingHobo (user info) at 2004-06-20 22:52:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Doesn't writing an article on how you don't give a fuck defeat the purpose of your non fuck giving attitude?
Submitted by Jarvis (user info) at 2004-06-20 22:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally agree. I'd much rather drive my V6 Tundra than some shitty SUV.
Submitted by Alfa_Veloce (user info) at 2004-06-20 22:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lojope, I could love u better than fetish.
Submitted by Alfa_Veloce (user info) at 2004-06-20 22:43:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Royally good point I must say. kudos and a biscuit!
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-06-20 22:37:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I agree with the whole "fuck SUVs" idea, but you could have written your opinions better.
Submitted by sharpie (user info) at 2004-06-20 22:37:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I do whatever Sean Hannity tells me to. And he says to drive SUVs (just to keep it real)
-adam
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-20 22:34:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for gratuitous swearing.
Submitted by digsy (user info) at 2004-06-20 22:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You obviously do give a fuck, otherwise you wouldn't write a post about it. Well said though.