Queens--The Bellybutton of the Universe. (1068 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.5 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lita <cpcreed2000.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-06-21 01:20:30 EDT
I'm a New Yorker. I have been my whole life of eighteen (too-soon-to-be nineteen) years. It's part of my character. I cannot hide from it. It's what I see. What I breathe (exhaust *cough cough*). It's cliche, but what more can I say.
In addition to being a card-carrying New Yorker, my place-of-residence is in Queens.
Now, contrary to popular belief, New York City is not just Manhattan--there are four other guys included in there:
There's the Bronx...Home of the Yankees. 'Nuff said about that.
Brooklyn...Coney Island and Astroland. They have the best hot dogs and summer fireworks. Also the home of the truely annoying Brooklyn accent.
Staten Island...Wonderful trash heap with a nice view.
Which brings me to Queens....
Queens is known for Shea Stadium, a crap stadium which holds an at-best mediocre team; The World's Fair, which was actually held approximately five thousand years ago give or take a few; and being the most diverse place in the world. Being diverse is great but if you only know English and you'd like to actually understand someone, Queens may not be the place for you. Try walking around Main Street, Flushing or 74th and Broadway without feeling totally confused. Aside from this, I feel the general public knows little else.
The Media is of little help in the matter. To them, anyone from Queens is either a whiny nanny, a gangster, or an old Jewish lady. While these stereotypes are used, more times than not, Queens isn't even included in the whole New York equation. I was watching "The Day After Tomorrow" and noticed this. There is this huge wave coming in, hitting Statue of Liberty and then downtown Manhattan. While on screen this seems to make perfect sense, I just paused, did a double-take, wiggled my finger and screamed "What the fuck?!" Apparently, that whole Queens-Brooklyn peninsula is totally invisible.
Even though I find the disregard of Queens to be mildly annoying I cannot blame them. Queens is very much like a bellybutton. It is interesting at first, but it quickly becomes boring and linty. Queens is fucking boring. There is nearly nothing to do. If you depend on public transportation, getting anywhere in Queens is like getting to bumblefuck. And if you are fortunate enough to afford a car there is fuck all to go.
Sometimes it takes those who truly love and understand someone to be able to accurately pass judgement. I'm from Queens. I have savored the dry, leftover crumbs. I sucked up that last amount through the straw. I think I have the right to say that Queens really is the bellybutton of the World: Forgotten, linty, and right near more interesting prospects.
User Reviews
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-16 23:50:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
butts.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2004-11-03 23:36:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
check your e-mail
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-06-21 21:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For a first post, this was really good. Especially that last line.
Submitted by we_made_a_rhythm (user info) at 2004-06-21 21:17:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A fabulous description of our large yet smelly and boring borough. I would award you with a bag of barbeque potato chips but alas, I am in College (Garbage) Point. Baaaarf.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-21 11:50:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-06-21 09:27:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Queens has not been the same since the boys in blue went west.
Submitted by shadowdragon (user info) at 2004-06-21 02:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Anyone else think that The Day After Tomorrow was terrible but not as bad as The Core?
And what did the title have to do with the movie??
"Way to change the subject, asshole!"
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2004-06-21 02:50:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mine is SatonAMoogleOuch
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-21 02:49:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shutup bargledslut, i thought of it first
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-06-21 02:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fucking AIM name thief!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-21 02:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, ubermethod - real original, I know.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2004-06-21 02:37:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh my fucking god. He disappeared for a while and I saw him recently and I was so happy. I surprised myself at how comfortable people become with routine...or maybe I was momentarily insane. However, I haven't seen that guy in a while. Hope he's okay...You on AIM or something--correspondance would be a bit quicker.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-21 02:33:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A little creepy, heh
You forgot to mention the blind guy that's been on Main street for like 20 years, playing his little electronic keyboard, singing and dancing for spare change. That guy rules.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2004-06-21 02:31:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Really?! I'm in Whitestone/Flushing. Not too far. Pretty cool, I must say.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-21 02:29:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Live in Bayside, work in Astoria
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2004-06-21 02:26:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was gonna go tomorrow (that is, today) but I have work. What part of Queens are you from?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-21 02:22:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Its not so bad, I sleep a few hours at work, so I get to head out to Jones beach during the week when its not so packed.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2004-06-21 02:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Awww...Thank you, hair!
#
Submitted by hairsphincter2 (user info) at 2004-06-21 02:09:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this, Lita.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2004-06-21 02:05:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Eight hours late shift? Fuckin crazy job you got there...With hours like that, I would understand you taking it out on me.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2004-06-21 02:03:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"let me guess:
You wear too much make-up, wear push up bras, have your hair braided (cornrows!) and lip/tongue pierced."
I rarely wear makeup at all, I don't need a push up bra, my hair is short and unbraided, and I only have ear piercings. Alas, I do not live up to your expectations...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-21 01:56:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Eh, I'll go easy on you, since you're from Queens.
Plus, no one showed up for work except me, and I'm stuck here doing nothing at all, so Im in a good mood for getting paid to do nothing for eight hours.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-06-21 01:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Descriptive, witty(?), and easy to read.
let me guess:
You wear too much make-up, wear push up bras, have your hair braided (cornrows!) and lip/tongue pierced.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2004-06-21 01:47:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you!
Anyhows, being a shitbag is in and of itself a quality trait.
As long as you're not being a shitbag to me, of course.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-06-21 01:35:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Up ya nose wit a rubbah hose!
I know nothing about New York.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-06-21 01:33:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Forgotten, linty, and right near more interesting prospects."
hahaha!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-21 01:32:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh, a fan of my stuff, when im not being a total shitbag, I suppose.
This is a great first post, keep it up.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2004-06-21 01:26:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
# Thanks! This is my first post...Hope it gets better...
I'm a fan of your stuff Method.
#<~~pounds.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-21 01:24:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And yes, Queens does kick ass.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-21 01:23:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because you mentioned Queens, and now I'm not the only one from there.