My First Email From Bart (2029 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.66 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (View user info) at 2004-06-21 07:39:32 EDT
I love the Uberboard. I think it's the greatest thing Bart has done with his creation. And rightly so because he needs to help pay for all the bandwidth. Anyway, I thought it was an interesting solution to Uber's bandwidth problem and so I began to participate with great enthusiasm.
I think I blew four bucks on the first day I saw it. I was happy to donate and began freely giving Bart my hard earned cash. And then I began to think that there could be unforeseen consequences to this new addition. So the sick bastard that I am decided to pay for a link to that really fucked up image of mutated babies that someone posted ages ago (note: there's no way I'm as sick as the one who posted it in the first place). Needless to say it got a response. I thought the dilemma itself was humorous. It's a link to something on Ubersite itself and how could he take it down because I gave him a buck for the service he's providing. This in turn made me think there could be other issues. What if someone links to an image hosted on another site. Wouldn't that be stealing bandwidth? I'm digressing.
After my little wacked uberboarding ........ really wacked uberboarding ... I received my first email from Bart. Ever
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From: Bart
Date: Friday, June 18, 2004 5:10 PM
To: Monkey
Subject: ?
What the hell is the matter with you?
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Not a "Thanks for the money". Not a "Thanks for the buck, but you're really fucked up". Nope. I got "What the hell is the matter with you?"
The one true being that I worship does not understand me. How can I go on?
In the end I think I've already donated about seven bucks. And there's more to come.
Here's another dollar for Bart's g-string
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-04-21 20:17:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm still waiting for my first.
And I have called him a LOT of names!
As his likely successor as "Czar of Uberdom", you'd think I would have scored an audience with him by now...a little "thanks" for keeping this dump's heart beating.
But noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-21 19:49:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want my dollar back from when I put tubgirl up here and you took it down within an hour
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2005-04-21 19:44:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You mean this one? http://www.ubersite.com/m/13652
JESUS CHRIST I accidentally looked at it.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-04-21 19:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-08-01 09:46:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't even want to admit how hard I laughed at the combination of that picture and the email.
And let me tell you that the phenomenon of Bart and the wonder of Photoshop are REALLY hard to explain to aging Spanish-speakers from Ecuador. Really. Really. Hard.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-08-01 09:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nippon, q q.... DOG! Ash gala wonderful.... easy rider salad the maaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllll...
Submitted by drstrangedhruv (user info) at 2004-06-25 18:25:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GHEY MENZATRON!!
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2004-06-22 08:22:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What Razor said.
That can't be Bart. You've got the stomach right, but there is too much hair on his arms.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-06-21 20:57:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-06-21 20:36:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you been snapping photos of me as Night Bart?
By the way, not sure if you altered it or not, but I like the shadow of the hair.
Submitted by SundanceKid (user info) at 2004-06-21 15:19:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that picture is awesome!!
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-21 15:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
How did you get my High school year book picture? ...............then have the audacity to photoshop
Dave Foley's head onto it?...thats a crime
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-21 15:02:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 FOR THE PIC!
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2004-06-21 11:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-06-21 11:15:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome email. Great pic.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-06-21 10:45:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Malificent (user info) at 2004-06-21 10:34:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you're talking about Harlequin Fetus, that really is fucked up. :(
Submitted by lush (user info) at 2004-06-21 10:32:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-06-21 10:15:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-21 09:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-06-21 08:27:03 (#)
Ranking: 1
What if someone links to an image hosted on another site. Wouldn't that be stealing bandwidth?
Yes,that's exactly what it would be. A friend of mine had this done to him, so he renamed the file and replaced the linked file with a pic of something disturbing so the next time the person went to there website it was there, making them look like a twisted fuck. Although I don't think that would work for this purpose, since the goal on Uber seems to be a twisted fuck.
---
Some of my sites do that based on referers.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-06-21 09:42:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What Razor said.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-21 09:37:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn. Now I have to go jerk off to Bart. Oh wait.. I was going to do that anyway.
what?
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2004-06-21 09:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed until I shit a re-re
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-21 09:06:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That is the greatest email ever. I laughed out loud.
Cherish it. It speaks volumes if you ask me ;)
AWESOME Photoshop job LSM, but you should have put his head on top of a bikini-clad female.
Wait, what?
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-06-21 08:56:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-06-21 08:00:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
best.photoshop.ever.
Submitted by enraged_baboon (user info) at 2004-06-21 08:50:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
comedy gold
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-06-21 08:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
more bullshit.
Submitted by whataefag (user info) at 2004-06-21 08:30:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-06-21 08:27:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What if someone links to an image hosted on another site. Wouldn't that be stealing bandwidth?
Yes,that's exactly what it would be. A friend of mine had this done to him, so he renamed the file and replaced the linked file with a pic of something disturbing so the next time the person went to there website it was there, making them look like a twisted fuck. Although I don't think that would work for this purpose, since the goal on Uber seems to be a twisted fuck.
Submitted by lamer (user info) at 2004-06-21 08:18:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That pic frightens me
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-06-21 08:12:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another +2 for Jared.
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2004-06-21 08:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah . . . he must work out.
This reply would be a lot funnier if you had the dialogue from "Dumb and Dumber" on constant repeat in your head the way I do.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-06-21 08:00:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
best.photoshop.ever.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-06-21 07:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This made me cry... tears of a sexual nature.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2004-06-21 07:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
he seriously needs to do something about that hair. it scares me.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-06-21 07:51:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-21 07:41:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel ya. "Naked pictures of my 8 year old daughter" got the same response. Evil tyrant Barticus.