Attack Stench (549 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.5 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <oleannder.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-06-21 11:28:59 EDT
I don't know how to feel about my neighbors downstairs. We live in a very large converted house that hosts 2 sides & 4 apartments. Our side faces two beautiful lawns (front & back) as well as some great trees so that we get some privacy. With our apartment we can enter from the front entrance or climb some steps to the rear & get plenty of sun for our various plants.
The problem with living in an older home is that things have a unique was of traveling. We live above a hard working single Asian mother & her two adult children (who don't seem to work). We hear all & worst yet..... we smell all. Our neighbors are really nice people but they have some strange habits.
The son likes to leave his 'hommies' waiting out back in their sad little Astro-van blasting a steady hum of ear-smashing booms as he changes his shoes for the fiftieth time. He is polite & considerate for the most part & even offered to help us when we moved from the other basement apartment to the one we are in now. My only issue with him is that he & his friends like to talk at really high levels just outside of bedroom windows at 3AM, and while this is annoying, it doesn't happen enough to get all spazy about it.
The daughter likes to wait until no one is home before she cranks up the stereo & practices her audition for 'Canadian Idol'. She is unbearably bad & seems to really like to play the same 3 songs over & over & over & over & over again. Sometimes she will rewind to the part in Black Eyed Pea's 'Shut Up' where the girls starts shrieking & just do the shrieking part for an hour or so. Try taking a relaxing herbal bath with that stupid Britney / Madonna song being basted up at you. Not gonna happen. Considering that we can hear the off pitch screamy cries over our surround sound system speaks volumes about this girls vocal range.
Oddly enough it's the Mother & her boyfriend that I really have taken a disliking to. He has a loud voice that seems to boom tough the floor. When he hasn't taken my parking space he likes to move to concrete dividers so he can drive right on into the courtyard & park his shit-mobile next to their front door so he can clean it out. That makes much more sense then moving a trash can doesn't it? I mean come on.... all three pieces of paper in the car clearly needed to be removed with extreme care rather then just a quick walk to the trash. I am so glad that he doesn't actually live in the building.
The Mother is actually a very nice & quiet woman who keeps to herself. Very little noise is heard from their place when she is at home but she does like to leave a lasting impression just in case we forget about her when she's out. This woman has the unique ability to make the stinkiest meals on the planet. Sometimes I wonder if she has slaughtered a Ton Ton from 'Star Wars', stuffed it full of burnt onions & left it to rot in the kitchen. It reeks & the smell rises to fill our apartment even after we closed the vents. Our ability to have guests over is seriously compromised. When confronted by the foul odor they tend to curl up their lips & noses & look at us like it's our fault that the woman downstairs is running her own abattoir. Short of a nuclear bomb, there is nothing that will kill the stench. It's even worse in the hot weather that we have been having: hot air + no wind = no nasal escape.
Although I am forced to vomit nearly twice a day from the horrible smells that protrude from below (seriously, they do make me ill). I am loathe to confront her about the stink for two reasons:
1) she is providing a meal for her family that they clearly enjoy or she wouldn't cook it so often.
2) I'd have to go downstairs & get an unfiltered whiff.
The best I can hope for is that the Mother decides to marry the Stupidest Man Alive & that they move out since there is not enough room for 4 adults. But I do fear what could possible move in next.
User Reviews
Submitted by Vermin (user info) at 2004-06-22 00:50:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As per http://www.ubersite.com/m/36288, although I am sure that this post is wonderful and deserves this +2.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-21 16:12:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Take B_Bob's advice. He always knows best!
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-21 13:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-06-21 13:17:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
Try making them leave by using voodoo against them. This is best accomplished by lighting their shit on fire when they aren't around.
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With my luck I'll set the building on fire.
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-06-21 13:17:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Try making them leave by using voodoo against them. This is best accomplished by lighting their shit on fire when they aren't around.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-21 13:03:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for telling me what to do.
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-21 13:02:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-21 12:59:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
"I am forced to vomit nearly twice a day from the horrible smells that protrude from below."
Do you have an unwashed Queen Ashley down below?
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Holy shit.... 2 posts that don't have a -2 in them? Is it my fucking birthday?
Keep your tiff with Ashlee out of my stuff. If you two want to take pot shots at each other do it on your own crap.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-21 12:59:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I am forced to vomit nearly twice a day from the horrible smells that protrude from below."
Do you have an unwashed Queen Ashley down below?
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-21 12:47:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-21 12:33:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-21 12:09:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Although I am forced to vomit nearly twice a day from the horrible smells that protrude from below (seriously, they do make me ill). "
That's just morning sickness.
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My god that was funny.
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You are both a friggin laugh riot. Guess again, I got the all clear from my Doctor - I am NOT pregnant.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-21 12:33:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-21 12:09:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Although I am forced to vomit nearly twice a day from the horrible smells that protrude from below (seriously, they do make me ill). "
That's just morning sickness.
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My god that was funny.
Submitted by TripinDayZ420 (user info) at 2004-06-21 12:10:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i think this was funny. i have similar problems with the mexicans that live across the street from us (for 11 more days that is, thank god we're moving) and their goddamn oompapa oompapa music at 6am which is when they get off work from third shift at the chicken plant. fuckers.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-06-21 12:09:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Although I am forced to vomit nearly twice a day from the horrible smells that protrude from below (seriously, they do make me ill). "
That's just morning sickness.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-06-21 11:54:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Get creative.
Buy a couple of hoedown CDs and set them on repeat if you go out for the night. If you're allowed to have animals, get a dog. Not just any dog now. You want the dog with the biggest feet that you can find so that when it runs around, it sounds like the apocalypse is going on overhead. Then again, they might want to eat the dog if they're Cambodian.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-06-21 11:47:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ever time i try to take a relaxing herbal bath somebody rings my doorbell. The nerve!
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-06-21 11:38:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That can suck buddy. Hang in there.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-21 11:31:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
yeah in my building we have a lot of ethnic peoples. the hallway always
smells of stinky ass food that meakes me gag.