They'll Interview Anyone (608 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.85 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by A. Miller <a_bone_to_pick.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-06-21 20:13:14 EDT
TV News anchor: "Tonight we'll be interviewing Bodie Stockstill, a 50 year old mechanic from Alabama who miraculously survived being trapped for 6 hours beneath a Trans-Camaro. It's certainly an awe-inspiring tale."
News Anchor: "Now, Mr. Stockstill, I understand you were trapped under a trans-camaro for 6 hours."
BS, standing outside his f****d up mobile home in Newt's Trailer Heaven: "Yessir, I sure was."
News Anchor: "Mr. Stockstill, would you explain to our audience what a trans-camaro is, exactly?"
BS: "Wellsir, there's lots of combinations, but this here trans-camaro (points to POS car surrounded by 5 other POS cars on blocks) has got the ass end of a camaro, and the front of a trans-am."
News Anchor: "I see. Now, just how did you manage to get trapped under the vehicle?"
BS: "Wellsir, ya see, I was a-tryin' to fix the muffler, when all of a sudden, here come all 5 dawgs runnin' loose, well then I reckon they knocked into that jack that was holdin' the car up, and down it come."
News Anchor: "What did you think, exactly, at that moment when the car fell on you?"
BS: "I thought, wellnow, I'm trapped, just as sure as shit sticks to a blanket!"
News Anchor: "And how did you feel about being trapped?"
BS: "Well, I tried not to panic. I had a 12 pack of Milwaukee's Best in my reach, and half a bag of Doritos."
News Anchor: "Mr. Stockstill, what did you think about, all that time while you were trapped those 6 frightening hours beneath that trans-corvette?"
BS: "I thought about how I was gonna kick my wife's ass for being gone at the flea-market so damn long. And it ain't no trans-corvette, it's a trans camero."
News Anchor: "When your wife finally got home and called 911, how did you feel at that point?"
BS: "About like I'm beginnin' to feel now- pissed."
News Anchor: "How did your wife feel about your accident?"
BS: "She probably didn't feel nothin' but that black eye I give her as soon as I got loose."
News Anchor: "Ahem, I see. Now then, how did your dogs feel, sir, what exactly did they think when--"
BS: "You ain't all that swift, are ya dude?"
News Anchor: "Yes, well, thank you for being with us Mr. Stockstill, and best wishes. (Turns to camera) Later this evening we'll be interviewing Bodie Stockstill's neighbors, and they'll tell us how they felt and what they thought about Stockstill's terrifying ordeal. We'll also be interviewing Michael Jackson's pool cleaner, who has some shocking allegations regarding items caught in pool filters at the Neverland Ranch. Good Night."
This is pretty much what I hear every time some news anchor opens his/her mouth, especially when interviewing someone who has had a "terrifying ordeal". They ask the dumbest questions, the worst being how the interviewee felt about the incident. As in, a baby grand piano falls on a dude from 5 stories high, and the News Anchor asks, "How did you feel when____?"
Arrrgh!
User Reviews
Submitted by Fartman <Fartman.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-06-24 11:57:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hahahah. Where the hell do you live?
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-06-22 10:52:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome
There was a news story here over the weekend about some guy who drowned in the lake. I don't know what was going on, but the family of the guy kept honking horns, yelling, and flipping off the reporter who was on the scene. I believe that fire water may have been a factor.
last words of a good redneck.. "hey y'all watch this"
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-06-22 10:09:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice work!
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-06-22 09:05:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is what our local news looks like. It is getting old. Funny post.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-06-21 20:43:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell it is even funnier when operation desert storm was on.
Because the news hounds were basically kept in hotels all the time they took to interviewing each other.
Now that was just pathetic
Submitted by BonesForBucks (user info) at 2004-06-21 20:42:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whether you know of it or not, what you described has probably happened in the past 10 years. Some redneck, somewhere.
Loved the story, by the way. That's exactly the way they do things.
Submitted by misanthrope (user info) at 2004-06-21 20:21:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What is sad is that the people that they interview in real life are usually too ignorant to come up with any kind of conversation. The anchor does all the talking with almost complete silence on the other end.
Submitted by SundanceKid (user info) at 2004-06-21 20:20:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I miss Alabama... and this is why.
Nice Job!