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Mild Anal Leakage (4150 hits)

Category: Science & Environmental

Rating: 0.61 on 46 reviews (Rate this item) (V)

Submitted by Fetish gets scientific again < http://contact.webhop.net/ > (View user info) at 2004-06-22 10:41:42 EDT

This post is the sequel to Battle Royal -- Aspartame versus Sucralose: http://www.ubersite.com/m/36276

While looking for information for that post, I also found a copious amount of Olestra hate pages. I remember picking up a bag of Wow potato chips a quite sometime ago seeing a label similar to this: "...may cause gastric pain, distress and anal leakage."

No thanks. I think I will stay away from those things. Today I looked at a bag of fat free chips, and the warning was gone. Did Olestra magically stop making people shit themselves? On the other hand, was the FDA paid? Let us see what Google has to say about Olestra.

When one ignores all the pages that are blatantly biased, such as Proctor and Gamble's and the CSPI's website, we have nothing much to go on. It seems like there is nothing but propaganda out there.

What is Olestra? Olestra is a sucrose polyester that is composed eight fatty acids that are crowded around alcohol groups that hang off a ring of sucrose. (1) Olestra acts just like a regular fat, and it is possible to fry with it. It has been used mainly for snack foods.

According to Procter and Gamble, who discovered the substance in 1959, it is made from vegetable oil and sugar. (2) The Olestra molecules are too big to be broken down by the process of digestion and are not absorbed by the body. This means that while still being a fat Olestra is a calorie free food, it simply passes through the body unchanged.

Where does all that undigested fat go? According to the original warning label, it may be rolling down your leg at any time. This is where the many claims of anal leakage, discomfort, and spontaneous projectile bowel movements, among others, come from. Are theses claims valid? According to many websites, there have been more than 20,000 complaints filed with the FDA. (3)

As for myself, I am afraid to try theses things. Anal leakage is one thing I can do without. I can just picture myself walking along and wondering what that is rolling down my leg and think to myself "Wow!" This does not sound very pleasant to me.

From what I have read, I do not see where this stuff would cause a problem when consumed in moderate amounts. The problem is that many people will tend to eat an entire bag of the chips, because they are fat free. I hope these folks have plenty spray n wash to get the mud tracks out of their drawers.

One interesting note: PepsiCo has changed the name of the Wow line of snacks to the Light line. If a product gets a negative reputation just change the name. It worked for Kentucky Fried Chicken. Or did it?

The Google search also turned up a photo of what happens when too much Olestra is eaten. That is right; he took a picture of his underwear, complete with anal leakage. You will find it included in the collage below.

References:
1- http://w3.ouhsc.edu/phar5442/Lectures/Olestra%20Slide%20Show.ppt
2 - http://www.olean.com/cgi-bin/newsware/questions/index.cgi?Detail=13&Field=key_field&Key=.%2A&Sort=order&Sort_num=on
3- http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-toolbox/news-archives/olestra-warning.html

leakage.jpg (39 kB)

User Reviews

Submitted by equaIizer (user info) at 2004-10-21 07:57:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Equalized! 536556

Submitted by equaIizer (user info) at 2004-10-21 07:21:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Equalized! 3350173

Submitted by equaIizer (user info) at 2004-10-20 22:47:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Equalized! 1507357

Submitted by EricRice (user info) at 2004-10-17 20:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

If sex were fast food, you'd have and M-shaped arch over your head.

Submitted by Fake_BargIed (user info) at 2004-10-17 13:53:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

No Comment

Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-25 07:03:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

...

Submitted by StabkiII (user info) at 2004-08-23 22:30:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm so sorry Fetish. I was feeling a bit left out. No one likes me.

Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-08-23 04:52:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Damn these posts suck ass! I will need to seek help after the brain cells I have lost tonight.

Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-08-12 20:06:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Just remember who started this shit!

Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-09 11:40:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I read about this shit in some magazine a while back.

Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-08-09 11:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

No Comment

Submitted by FetishII (user info) at 2004-08-09 11:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by TheToddfather (user info) at 2004-07-11 19:32:19 (#)
Ranking: -2

Don't know which one's spammin, so you both get it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by PolPot (user info) at 2004-07-08 03:45:53 (#)
Ranking: -2

No Comment

Submitted by TheToddfather (user info) at 2004-07-11 19:32:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Don't know which one's spammin, so you both get it.

Submitted by PolPot (user info) at 2004-07-08 03:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

No Comment

Submitted by PolPot (user info) at 2004-07-07 10:54:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

I have a bad back I like comfortable couches I can rest my back on

Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-01 16:53:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

hmm

Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-25 18:02:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-06-24 01:38:53 (#)
Ranking: -2

this gave me extreme projectile dio.

curse you!
---
Thanks for sharing.

Submitted by UberUser (user info) at 2004-06-24 01:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by squattail (user info) at 2004-06-22 21:51:12 (#)
Ranking: -2

This has been done, and done better at that.

http://www.zug.com/pranks/olestra/

Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-06-24 01:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

this gave me extreme projectile dio.

curse you!

Submitted by squattail (user info) at 2004-06-22 22:14:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I read it a while ago, it was good enough to remember. Not nearly as TheSpark's Fat Test though.

Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-22 22:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You actually found the time to search for it and then drop a few -2's. You kickass.

Submitted by squattail (user info) at 2004-06-22 21:54:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

......but of course you knew that, since that is where you found the pictures.

Submitted by squattail (user info) at 2004-06-22 21:51:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

This has been done, and done better at that.

http://www.zug.com/pranks/olestra/

Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-22 21:43:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Ok... I rated your post.

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-22 20:51:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Lojo, I'm still in school. I'll read it after class.

Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-22 19:45:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Fetish, why haven't you rated my post yet?

Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-06-22 19:27:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Here you go.

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-22 19:13:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by itchysfakepersonna (user info) at 2004-06-22 15:10:59 (#)
Ranking: 2

Speaking from personal experience, I would caution anyone from ever, ever, ever sitting down and eating half a bag of Wow! Doritos.

I think I lost about 15 pounds in the aftermath that followed.

That would suck

Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-22 15:45:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-22 14:14:46 (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-22 11:22:02 (#)
Ranking: 2

Fetish, have you ever camwhored anything besides your ass?
---
Nope, just my ass on Urbane's Ass Matcher 2 post. Why do you ask?

~*~*~*~*~*~

Duh, cause I want to see. Come on... I posted my ass for you, you owe me one. Camwhore for the ladies!

---
You posted your ass, I've posted mine. Aren't we even?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

No, because I have posted my face as well, and you haven't. Come on, love, give us a looksee!!!

Submitted by itchysfakepersonna (user info) at 2004-06-22 15:10:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Speaking from personal experience, I would caution anyone from ever, ever, ever sitting down and eating half a bag of Wow! Doritos.

I think I lost about 15 pounds in the aftermath that followed.

Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-22 14:14:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-22 11:22:02 (#)
Ranking: 2

Fetish, have you ever camwhored anything besides your ass?
---
Nope, just my ass on Urbane's Ass Matcher 2 post. Why do you ask?

~*~*~*~*~*~

Duh, cause I want to see. Come on... I posted my ass for you, you owe me one. Camwhore for the ladies!

---
You posted your ass, I've posted mine. Aren't we even?

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-22 13:33:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I could go without man ass.

Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-22 12:37:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

yeah! what Lojo said!

Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-22 12:30:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-22 11:23:48 (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-22 11:22:02 (#)
Ranking: 2

Fetish, have you ever camwhored anything besides your ass?
---
Nope, just my ass on Urbane's Ass Matcher 2 post. Why do you ask?

~*~*~*~*~*~

Duh, cause I want to see. Come on... I posted my ass for you, you owe me one. Camwhore for the ladies!

Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-06-22 11:36:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm all for more anal leakage, as long as it's yellow, pungent and really slippery. None of that watered-down anal leakage for me thanks.

Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-06-22 11:25:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm not clicking on any of those links.

Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-22 11:23:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-22 11:22:02 (#)
Ranking: 2

Fetish, have you ever camwhored anything besides your ass?
---
Nope, just my ass on Urbane's Ass Matcher 2 post. Why do you ask?

Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-22 11:23:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-22 10:46:30 (#)
Ranking: 1

This post kind of reminds me of that MadTV (I think it was Mad) in which they were advertising a product that yielded "10% less anal leakage."
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Sadly enough I remember this episode. I was really REALLY high & eating chips at the time. It made me really paranoid.

Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-06-22 11:22:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Fetish, have you ever camwhored anything besides your ass?

Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-06-22 11:18:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Awesome picture

Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-22 11:08:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I won't touch those things. I'll eat regular fats, thank you.

Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-06-22 11:06:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

i am too stoned to follow this, but it seems like vital work!

Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-06-22 11:05:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I remember that episode:

"Here's how many fries you can cook in in the anal leakage from the competitor's product. And here's how many you can cook in the anal leakage from ours. Ten percent less!"

Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-06-22 10:57:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Either the joke has been used or I saw the same thing Tom. I remember a "10% less anal leakage" punchline from somewheres...

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-22 10:46:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

This post kind of reminds me of that MadTV (I think it was Mad) in which they were advertising a product that yielded "10% less anal leakage."

I must not eat a product with olestra in it. I'm just about vegetarian, and you'd be surprised the kinds of things that can flow if you haven't had a steak in a while. Probably given you too much information there. That's ok.

I've never observed olestra in any of my crazy health food, but then again I haven't been looking very hard.