Kerry + the Ketchup Queen=Hot dog deliciousness! (619 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: 1.28 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <freaky_person87.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-06-22 13:46:04 EDT
God...I can't stand it. I know I just posted my Modern-Day Witchhunting manual literally moments ago, but my TV is blaring one Kerry commercial after the other. The man is a weenie, and I don't throw that horrible term around carelessly, you simpering weenie.
Behold the power of listerine.
(The following quotes are recounted to the best of my recollection)
"In the richest country on the face of the planet, everyone should be able to get healthcare."
Correction, Mr. Kerry. When you factor in the deficit, the debt, the surplus, etc. etc. Japan is far richer than us, and Communist China will surpass Japan in the next five years.
And as for everyone having health care, please, who will pay for it? That's right. I will. I will be paying, with my hard-earned money, for some crack whore to take her deformed crack baby to the hospital for crack treatments and for some dumbass who's abusing worker's comp. But will Kerry be the first to empty his pockets? Hell no. Not when the Ketchup Queen is buying him nice new cars.
"This is a country of optimists."
Optimists? Americans? What? Whenever one little tragedy occurs, we all go hiding and cry to our mommies/daddies/2 mommies/2 daddies/67 mormon mommies. This is not a country of optimists. If anything, we are the most pessimistic country in the world. The smallest thing makes us cry. "Oh, let's go help those poor fucks who are blowing us up!" "Let's stop the injustice of killing the horshoe shrimp that you can buy at the bait store for $1.95 a bucket!" "Boo hoo hoo!"
And when we "recover"? We look for the next thing to complain about because absolutely nothing makes us happy.
"I voted for the war in Iraq, BEFORE I voted against it."
Waffles are for breakfast and flip-flops are for the beach. So this means if a fundamentalist muslim goes around screaming "kill all christians and jews" and then says "oh wait, no, that's wrong" we should take his word for it and reward him? I rest my case on this one.
And then there are others, but I'd rather not die of hypertension in my bloodstream.
And, so no one goes off on me by saying "Yeah, well Bush isn't so great, blah blah blah" I agree with you there. I hate the fucker. But to be truthful, I hate Kerry a lot more.
There's even a John Kerry sucks petition! Fun fun! Search for PetitionOnline and then search for the JK sucks petition. I signed it. Did you?
User Reviews
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-22 19:53:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great post......I found myself wanting to read more.........so screw the potential heart attack and write some dammit......
Kerry is a penis wrinkle.
300 on the Defib!
CLEAR!!!!
BEEEEJESUSZZAAAAAPP!
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeblipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeblipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeblip
Submitted by matchstickman (user info) at 2004-06-22 19:34:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd vote for a pack of Tic-Tacs before Bush, it doesn't even have to breathe to be better than him
And there is an alternative to voting for Bush and Kerry, besides Nader, besides not voting at all. It's called move to Canada.
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2004-06-22 14:44:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I couldn't agree more. I'm going to end up voting for Bush, but only because there is no alternative. Every time I hear Kerry talking about the issues I hate him more. I see that same stupid health care commercial, and he says something about how health care should be a right. What the hell is going on in that guy's brain?
Really, I wish I was as apathetic about politics as most of my peers/contemporaries are. Then I could just vote a straight party ticket, or not vote at all. I guess in this case ignorance would be bliss.
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-06-22 14:43:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I live in Boston. Kerry had the fire hydrant that was in front of his Beacon Hill (rich ass community in Boston)removed so that he could park his humvee there. For all you treehuggers, out there, please don't ask me to find back for this, there's probably none, my father works for the Mayor's office, it is true.
Submitted by transcendent (user info) at 2004-06-22 14:25:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"KERRY was the best the democratic party can do?" ... and BUSH is the best the Republican party can muster?
Shit, I'd vote for an actual elephant before I voted for Bush.
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-06-22 14:15:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2 cause I hate Kerry and any moron who wants more of my tax dollars for idiots who get knocked up, can't keep a job, etc..
Submitted by Mentor (user info) at 2004-06-22 14:06:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Let them flame me. Everything is minty clean with listerine.
And thank you, Blitz for authoring that petition. It made my day when I found it. ^^
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-06-22 14:00:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You don't win any points on Uber for pointing out the facts. KERRY was the best the democratic party can do?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-06-22 14:00:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I authored the petition.
Submitted by SundanceKid (user info) at 2004-06-22 13:50:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're going to get flamed for this... I hope you realize that now.
Of course, posting it on here, maybe you just want that.