Callous (646 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.7 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MOssiah (View user info) at 2004-06-22 14:06:53 EDT
The rain showed no signs of stopping.
He was just hungry. That's all.
Creeping silently into the dark house, he shook off the water that was cascading from his hair. Perhaps it was his lucky day after all. Whoever lived here had left the heater on. Standing in front of it, he attempted to rid the chill from his skinny and drenched little body. His stomach was cramped with hunger pains. Keeping close to the walls to avoid detection, and making no sound on the wooden floors, he made his way through the house. He came to a bedroom where he could hear music being played softly and he carefully tip-toed past it to where he thought the kitchen might be. Hopefully the inhabitants would be asleep. It was worth the risk, he hadn't eaten for days.
Light flashed through the room and he panicked, diving into the shadows. His heart was pumping, adrenaline flowing, it was a moment before he realised that he wasn't caught. No one had woken up. It was just the lightning that briefly flooded the room. The thunder did little to calm his nerves.
After composing himself he continued searching, and found the remainders of a loaf of bread. Tearing through the plastic, he stuffed chunks into his eager mouth, relishing the soft texture of it and it's slightly sweet taste. After scouring the rest of the kitchen he found only a few scraps. It was better than nothing. Time to head off again before someone woke up and found him. In the adjacent room, he smelt something that was a little pungent. Curiosity got the better of him or maybe it was just that he was putting off heading back into the rain. Upon investigation he found a small clump of food on a wooden surface. It didn't look too appealing, but beggars can't be choosers, so he took an experimental bite.
The serrated metal edge of the mousetrap came down hard on his neck, breaking it and killing him instantly.
His dead body was thown in the trash with disgust the next morning.
User Reviews
Submitted by MOssiah (user info) at 2004-06-23 01:15:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey there Tom, MickGinny, Phinch.
Thanks. I've been ok. What's the goss? Anything different around here, or is it still the same ol same ol?
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-06-22 22:33:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2004-06-22 21:38:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
good stuff...
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-06-22 21:22:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i didnt even read this yet the +2 is for seeing your name on the front page again. welcome back man!
now i am off to read what you have to say.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-22 16:40:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MOMOMOMOMOMO! How's it goin?
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-06-22 14:51:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice, I thought it was going to be a dog. Good twist.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-06-22 14:36:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Keeping close to the walls to avoid detection"
i figured it out at this line.
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2004-06-22 14:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice twist at the end.
Submitted by Jaybles (user info) at 2004-06-22 14:28:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, great piece. Kick ass ending.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-22 14:25:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's why I am against mousetraps.
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-06-22 14:10:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awww i got a little teary at the end