I am Superior! (653 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.84 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mentor (View user info) at 2004-06-22 19:01:49 EDT
Just to prove how much better, how much of an arrogant, elitist, messianic bastard I am than you, I've pulled from my personal archives of bitching material my "Top 10 Things you Absolutely Need to Know". Don't waste your breath criticizing it. I know I'm right.
Behold, the power of listerine:
1. Coke and Pepsi are one and the same. One is sweeter? Who gives a fuck? Cola is cola. One has more sugar. That's it.
2. The Earth is flat. Ignore science. You know they've lied to you in the past. What makes you think this one is true?
3. Gravity is a THEORY. Don't ever fucking say the "law of gravity". The THEORY has never been proven, so therefore, it can not be a law.
3.1. Gravity does NOT exist. We are kept on this planet by its inertia. There is no such thing as gravity.
4. Idaho does not exist.
5. Neither does North Dakota.
6. Civil disobedience is still disobedience. (Case in point: California and the marriage licenses. Get a life, GLAAD and ACLU. Bother a cow or something.)
7. All people are equal before the law, but no one is above the law. If you break the law, you get punished. Simple as that, fuck-tards.
8. The Cacao bean is going extinct. This means no more chocolate.
9. The same is true for the banana.
10. I'm right; you're wrong. Deal with it.
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Items 2, 4, and 5 can all be disproved by science, geography, and geography, respectively. I concede on those. As for the rest, piss off. Take your science elsewhere. It won't help you in my personal little reality where you are the whale-loving whore of Babylon and I am the first eight incarnations of Vishnu and have a clock in my tummy.
Look! Lesbian porn!
Ha...made you look.
I have spoken.
Obey.
User Reviews
Submitted by SAECULUM.AUREUM (user info) at 2004-06-23 08:59:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There's too much...superiority complex...floating around here as it is. Go do something useful, like fix my office computer, and shut the hell up...please.
Submitted by sliver (user info) at 2004-06-23 08:13:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
huh..man this shit is stupid
Submitted by s at 2004-06-23 08:12:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Fag <ifuckchickens.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-06-23 01:57:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
1: Wrong -1
2: Wrong -1
3. Correct +0.5
3.1. Wrong -0.5
4. Wrong -1
5. Wrong -1
6. Correct +1
7. Wrong -1
8. Correct +1
9. Correct +1
10. Wrong -1
-3... pretty bad
Submitted by Kris <mightymouse.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-06-23 01:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Yeah, you better believe that Idaho exists. The rest I agree with you upon.
Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2004-06-23 01:23:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Besides the fact (not theory) that this post is stupid and boring, you're wrong.
Gravity is a result of mass.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-06-22 21:27:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mentor - Nice try, but once again, there's a flaw. Space has zero pressure. Therefore, any laws/theories of pressure do not apply to outer space. Pressure has to do with the atmosphere, and because outer space has absolutely no atmosphere at all, then the revolution of planets around the sun cannot be because of low-to-high or high-to-low pressure. The 'Theory' of gravity, as you put it, still seems to be the only explanation.
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-06-22 20:40:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Know why there's no Miss Black America Pageant?
Nobody wants to be Miss Idaho.
Submitted by DeadKennedysKid (user info) at 2004-06-22 20:28:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ass.
I like you.
Submitted by Mentor (user info) at 2004-06-22 20:20:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You make a compelling argument, maiorano, but how can you *prove* that that's gravity sucking everything into the black hole?
When you drink from a straw, you lower the pressure in your mouth. The water flows through the straw because the straw suddenly has less pressure than the liquid and air in the cup. The air pressure pushes down on the liquid and the liquid is, in turn, forced up the straw and into your mouth.
A friend of mine and I were in an argument about the state of the universe. We came to the conclusion that everything is in freefall, and thus, there is pressure beyond what we like to call the atmosphere.
So, what if there is just less pressure in the black holes, and so everything around them is being sucked in? And as for the orbit thing, I draw you back to the liquid in the cup with the straw.
You may not notice it, but when you begin drinking through the straw, the liquid begins rotating around the opening of the straw in the liquid. My friend and I did a couple experiments with this.
The stars could just be a low-pressure blob in the universe that draws combustable gasses into it. The gasses, by their very nature, ignite and become shiney. The planets that form from the other gasses spinning around the low-pressure area fall into the orbit because everything is being drawn into the low-pressure void. Believe it or not, every full rotation of the Eart is slightly closer to the sun than the one before it. We lose 5/100ths of a second every year due to this.
So, explain the existence of gravity to me again. Because, so far, no one has ever satisfactionally "proved" it's existence.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-06-22 20:09:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Interesting argument, but flawed:
Let's say that inertia does indeed hold us to the ground (blatantly wrong, but ok, whatever). What exactly holds the moon in orbit around the earth? And the earth around the sun? And what force, exactly, causes stars to orbit around black holes? And if a black hole is a star that has collapsed into itself, what exactly is the force that sucks everything nearby into it? Gravity does exist, my friend. Believe me, it isn't inertia that causes the revolution of planets and stars.
Nice try. +1 for effort.
Submitted by Mentor (user info) at 2004-06-22 20:02:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If inertia doesn't hold us down, then what does? I've already stated that gravity doesn't exist. And you can construct a model where inertia holds us down on a spherical surface.
_
/ \ Direction of movement
| |A =========>
\ /
-
That's my pitiful exuse of an ASCII sphere.
You are at point A. The sphere is moving in the direction of the arrow (as stated). As you move around the sphere, the sphere moves in relation to you so that you are always at point A. (Point A, in essence, moves with you, even though you technically never move from that spot except in relation to the lateral movement of the sphere).
This gets into a whole big mess about "what about the other people moving around?". Quantum Physics and String Theory explains that mess, but the point is that people who cling to gravity are simply doing so because it makes them comfortable. It is human nature to cling to what makes you comfortable and dissavow all knowledge of anything else. This is a highly philisohpical issue, but so is the existence of God. But you don't hear me going up to Christians and Muslims and Jews and saying "Hey buddy, there is no god. Prove it. You concede that there is no proof? Then there must be no belief because how can you believe in something that doest exist?"
Et-cetera.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-06-22 20:00:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Way to not be funny, Maddox.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-06-22 19:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
LOL OMF UR SO FUNNY HAHAHAHAAHAHA
Submitted by gbusman (user info) at 2004-06-22 19:49:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
If you concede, 2 is false, than so must 3 and 3.1. You cannot construct a model where inertia keeps us in a spherical surface.
And this isn't funny.
Except calling Idaho non-existent, I've never seen it.
-Bus
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-06-22 19:30:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by R.Duke at 2004-06-22 19:26:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking exceptional! i laughed hard! Idaho does not exist... heh heh
=============================================
LOL
Submitted by R.Duke at 2004-06-22 19:26:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking exceptional! i laughed hard! Idaho does not exist... heh heh
Submitted by Mentor (user info) at 2004-06-22 19:24:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
First of all, you only know if it's crap if you've stepped in it or it's been thrown at your face by an angry baboon.
Secondly, what I do in my own time is none of your business, unless you're willing to pay for that blowjob.
In closing, I support equal rights for cheese.
Submitted by Snuggles_The_Assassin (user info) at 2004-06-22 19:17:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You planning on posting anymore crap today you fucking cocksucker.
Submitted by Despiadado (user info) at 2004-06-22 19:08:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Where's the lesbian porn?