How the Beastie Boys Stole Father's Day (835 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicRating: 1.57 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by itchysfakepersonna (View user info) at 2004-06-23 10:10:09 EDT
I've been so excited, and I just couldn't hide it. I was about to lose control and I KNEW I liked it, oh yeah. That's right. As soon as I heard the Beatsies were coming out with a new album I was psyched. I was ready. I was willing and able to have them let the beats . . . nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnDROP!
I mean, come on, how can you honestly not be completely out of your mind to know that a new Beastie Album was on the way? Somehow, I managed to hold off buying it when it came out last Tuesday. I did so only because I knew that father's day was coming up, and this is the sort of slam-dunk gift that you have to let your loved one's get FOR you. Otherwise it's a tie, and no one is happy with that. So anyway, I patiently waited and waited and waited until the fateful day arrived. Last Sunday I was presented with a gift from my son and one from my wife. I opened the one from the little guy first. DAMN IT! The Simpsons Fourth Season on DVD! Man, I thought we meant something to each other. Damn kid. Don't you know me AT ALL?
Oh well, moving on, I dove into the gift from my wife. Sure enough, she came through. I think she may have said something along the lines of "happy father's day" or something but I didn't hear her because I was on my way to my entertainment complex to give it a spin. Before I let you in on what I heard though let's take a trip in the way-back machine and see what the Beasties have given us in the past . . .
1986 - that's right, 1986 - License to Ill. Anyone remember "Fight for your right (to party)", or how about "Paul Revere," or "Slow and Low" or "Brass Monkey," or "No Sleep Til Brooklyn." Nearly every cut on this baby is a classic. Sure, it was frat-rock set to hip-hop beats. I'll even permit, for the sake of argument only, that it may have been white punk-rockers trying to cash in on black music. Without question it was produced by Satan himself - Rick Ruben (the same man who ruined the Red Hot Chili Peppers among others).
1989 - Paul's Boutique - Did someone say "legendary." Does the phrase "way-the-fuck-ahead-of-its-time" mean anything to you? Dust Brothers? Who are they? Or, who were they before this album? Answer: no one and nowhere. The Beasties found them and had them create this sample-happy aural stew. "Shake Your Rump," "High Plains Drifter," Egg Man," "The Sounds of Science," "Hey Ladies," and "Shadrach" all stand out as finely crafted masterpieces from this, the epitome of their art.
1992 - Check Your Head - the Beasties switch things up a bit and show that they aren't slaves to the turn-table. Yes, they still play their own instruments, and not only that, but the true depth of their musical inspiration comes to the fore. We get to see some of their old punk roots coming through, but also get exposed to some grade "A" funk as well. This effortless and unapologetic genre-blending is what makes the Beasties an institution to folks like me. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention "So What'cha Want?" Then there is the classic: "Then I saw your female down with them too. I heard she been giving that stuff out to all them graffiti guys." "Yo, shut the fuck up chico-man." "I'd paint three of those murals for some of THAT ass." Bum-bum-ba-dum-ba-dum-de-dum-dum "Professor, what's another word for "Pirate's Treasure?" "Well I think its booty. B-booty. Booty." K-kick Ass.
1994 - Ill Communication - Check Your Head II, as I like to think of it. More of the same themes explored in the previous albums, but done better and with more maturity. More punk, more funk, and all fun. "Sabotage," "Sure Shot," "Root Down," and "B-Boys Makin' with the Freak Freak" are my personal favorites here.
1998 - Hello Nasty - An introduction to Mixmaster Mike and a return to the glorious days of Paul's Boutique. The Beasties almost completely recapture the magic. More experimentation, more awesomeness.
2004 - To the 5 Boroughs - Crap.
I probably need to expand on that last review a bit.
The first thing I noticed is that the Beasties have discovered a couple new words. Those words are "fuck" and "motherfucker." Good for them. I'm not the kind of guy who thinks that cussing is a no-no on albums. I like it, in its place. The thing is, the Beasties have never made that a major part of what they do. They are the undisputed kings of simile and pop-culture references. These are the tools they generally have used to make their music fun to listen to. Now, as their samples proclaim that they are "going to rock this motherfucker like three the hard way" over and over and over again I'm stuck wondering if I'm listening to a DMX or Eminem album inadvertently. The Beasties are better than this, and I for one am disappointed.
The second thing I noticed is that the Beasties have been kidnapped my Loki and are displaying symptoms of Stockholm Syndrome likes their names was Patty Hearst. "Its easier to break than build and correct, we got a President we didn't elect, the Keyoto treaty he decided to neglect" would be just one example of these symptoms.
I know that M.C.A. has been very political over the years and the work he has done to help liberate Tibet (snicker, snicker, guffaw) have been laudable. However, his passion for politics has never invaded the music in such an intrusive way before. Maybe because he was never able to convince the other two thirds of the trio to jump on board, I don't know. In any event, while a band like the Descendents can put out an album declaring themselves to be "stupid 'Mericans" without it coming off sounding stupid, the Beasties just don't have the credibility to back lyrics like this up. It sounds to me like the television from which they tend to draw so much inspiration got stuck on CNN and no one could find the remote.
Musically, Mixmaster Mike is still top-notch. The samples and beats are deep and richly textured. That's the good part. The bad part is that Mixmaster Mike is the only musician we get to hear. The Beasties are not playing here. Hence there is no funk. No punk. No musical exploration of any kind whatsoever. EVERY song on this album is a hip-hop song. Step 1) Insert drum loop. Step 2) Rap. Step 3) Collect royalties.
Call this an homage to hip-hop if you want. I call it lazy, uninspired and boring, by Beastie Boy standards anyway. I think that is why this album sounds like it plays so quickly. All the songs kind of sound the same, so you don't notice their passage until the disk if over. Older Beastie albums take you on a trip through the scenic countryside of diverse musical styles before they drop you back off at the station. This one's an express.
Therefore, friends and Romans it is my strong recommendation that you pass on this album. If you must have it, download it. Do not pay for this crap, because if you reward them for this kind of behavior, they will just do it again. I would suggest though, that you fill in your collection of older Beastie Boy albums before you touch this one.
User Reviews
Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-06-24 10:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beasties still rock...but I won't buy the CD now either. Thank you.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-06-23 18:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-06-23 15:55:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the Beasties. THANK YOU. I alnmost bought their new album, but I ain't gonna now. You failed ot mention their best of collection "The Sounds of Science" which had some previously unreleased music on it, though.
Oh how the mighty have fallen. I don't think they'll ever be able to top such great songs as "3 MC's and 1 DJ" or "Sabrosa" or "Egg Raid on Mojo." At least their old stuff is still great.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-06-23 18:46:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
country mike's greatest hits isn't included...that's their best album!
Submitted by Oh word? <nicktransfixion.at.aol.com> at 2004-06-23 18:40:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Hey and to all you other guys who've been brain washed don't believe everything you read!
Submitted by Nick <nicktransfixion.at.aol.com> at 2004-06-23 18:34:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
To itcyfakepersona - You my friend are quite a pretentious presumptuous fellow! Spot on for the descriptions of the other five Beastie cds!.... Hey maybe give the 'Boroughs another few listens? Why don't you?
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2004-06-23 15:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the Beasties. THANK YOU. I alnmost bought their new album, but I ain't gonna now. You failed ot mention their best of collection "The Sounds of Science" which had some previously unreleased music on it, though.
Oh how the mighty have fallen. I don't think they'll ever be able to top such great songs as "3 MC's and 1 DJ" or "Sabrosa" or "Egg Raid on Mojo." At least their old stuff is still great.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-06-23 11:40:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
01010010 01101111 01100010 01101111 01110100 00101100 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01010011 01001111 01001111 01001111 00100000 01101100 01100001 01110011 01110100 00100000 01111001 01100101 01100001 01110010 00101110
thanks for the warning, i shall begin the downloads tonight just becasue I have everything else.
ummm...
this girl walked by - she gave me the eye
i reached in the locker - grabbed the spanish fly
i put it with the monkey - mixed it in the cup
went over to the girl, "Yo baby, what's up?"
i offered her a sip - the girl she gave me lip
it did begin the stuff wore in and now she's on my tip
Submitted by itchysfakepersonna (user info) at 2004-06-23 11:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
been had a littly horsey named Paul Revere
Just me and my horsey and a quart of beer
riding cross the land kicking up sand
sheriff's posse's on my tail 'cuz I'm in demand.
I did forget the dick in the potato salad thing. Also classic.
Yeah, Ch-Check it out is supposed to be the single and it ain't all that. What's that tell you?
I will say that the song Crawlspace is kind of interesting only because you get to hear what Adrock sounds like when he talks like a real person, rather than as a parody of a New Yawker.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-06-23 11:08:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Thanks for the heads up.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-06-23 11:02:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i didnt much like "Ch-Ch-Check It Out" at all.
have to listen to more of the album.
I HATE WHEN A BAND GETS POLITICAL!! DAMNIT!
i love the beasties too.
The Fatboy Slim remix of Body Movin is sweet as hell!
Submitted by Robot9598 (user info) at 2004-06-23 10:58:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
010000110110100000101101010000110110100001100101011000110110101100100000011010010111010000100000011011110111010101110100
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-06-23 10:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i only burned a copy, i don't have the linear notes, but after listening to it...i don't think Mixmaster mike had anything to do with this album. The beats are very minimal, not MMM style at all.
I've read that it is self-produced.
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-06-23 10:52:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Shit, if it's going to be that kind of a party I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-06-23 10:48:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pulled out the Jammy,
aimed it at the sky,
He yelled "Stick em up!"
and let two fly
Hands went up and people hit the floor,
I wasted two kids that ran for the door...
"I'm Mike D an' I get respect
Your cash an' your jewlry is what I expect!"
M.C.A. was with it, and he's my ace,
so I grabbed the piano player
an I punched him in the face
Piano players out, the musics' stopped
This boy had keys, so he got dropped.
Mike D grabbed the money,
M.C.A. stashed the gold,
I grabbed to girlies and a beer that's cold.
I think I got it all........???
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2004-06-23 10:38:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dick in the mash potatoes...
?
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-06-23 10:33:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like my sugar with coffee and cream
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-06-23 10:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I did it like this
I did it like that
I did it with a whiffle ball bat.