News at 11 (662 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.86 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Phinch ‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^› (View user info) at 2004-06-23 12:51:07 EDT
I was watching the news last night, and this is what I can remember. Is it me or is the infotainment that passes as evening news getting worse and worse?
"...And back to you Denis."
"A report By the American Coucil of Information and Public Misdirection shows that milk contains the same ingrediants as ROCKET FUEL. According to the report, the American Public should immediatly panic and stop drinking milk. Susan?"
"Thanks Denis. In related news, the ACIPM has also found low levels of mercury in many tuna brands. Who cares what caused the build up of Mercury, We recomend boycotting all stores that carry tuna and/or milk, and huddling in your house with the lights off and a blanket over your head. Back to you Big-O-Double D."
"Thanks Susan. Please don't call me that, My name is Denis."
"Sorry, D-fresh."
"Whatever. In other news, Mary-Kate Olsen, of the Olsen twins, has been admitted for treatment to a clinic regarding an eating disorder. If you haven't heard yet Susan, They have been legal since June 13th."
"Oh hell yeah, D. I'd hit that."
"Shut up the fuck up, Susan. Up next what Scott Peterson's 12 year old cousin had for breakfast."
User Reviews
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-07-21 18:01:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The other day, my local news was covering a hostage situation at a convenience store. There was a man live on the scene and an anchor lady covering from the studio-- they stayed with the story ALL DAY until it was over. It was funny how they both kept speculating what was going on--
Deborah: "I just saw something move in the window."
Dave: "No, you're wrong Deborah."
Deborah: No, something moved.
Dave: "Speaking of moving, how would you like to be 'moved' from your position, Deb?"
Deborah: "Back to you, Dave."
====
Later in the news during sports, the sports guy was reporting the results of a game-- he quoted something like "Hey Deborah, did you see that? I think I saw something move."
Either way, it was funny live.
Submitted by Dashel (user info) at 2004-06-23 19:20:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey! Let's interview another b-list actor so we can model our lives after his!!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-06-23 15:09:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love it when they do a news story about a tv show.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-06-23 14:18:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-06-23 14:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Stuff
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-06-23 14:04:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Heh. This is why I prefer not to watch the news...
...I'd much rather make it.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-06-23 13:35:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In other news, can bees think? Studies show that no, they cannot.
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-06-23 13:25:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Washin' ma brain.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-06-23 13:07:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by cf7 at 2004-06-23 13:05:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FOX sux.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2004-06-23 13:02:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I cannot handle watching the new for more than 45 minutes. Otherwise my head explodes.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-06-23 12:59:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-06-23 12:54:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
I watched CNN for the first time of my life yesterday...I'm scared. I almost made a post out of it.
I thought I was watching the WWF. I've seen such biased patriotic shit in my whole life.
Maybe it was a prank...I don't know.
----
The propoganda of a war machine. Its strange, is it not?
+2 for phinch.
As for M-K-O, I bet Danny is going to sit down and have a gooey, sappy talk with her. Hugs and canned emptahy included.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-23 12:57:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-06-23 12:55:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so true.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-06-23 12:54:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I watched CNN for the first time of my life yesterday...I'm scared. I almost made a post out of it.
I thought I was watching the WWF. I've seen such biased patriotic shit in my whole life.
Maybe it was a prank...I don't know.