Partisan Politics in the Home (774 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.25 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mentor (View user info) at 2004-06-23 13:25:54 EDT
Just a warning: Some will understand, other's won't. Those that do, congratulations. Your home-life sucks ass. Those that don't, stop supporting child-labor in the Far East when you buy Old Navy and A&F...rich bitch.
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I was talking to my cousin on MSN last night and he made the comment "I'm only online right now because I'm downloading AC2 again. My dad deleted it"
Now, here's some background before I get too far and you don't understand.
My cousin is an AC2 junkie. He lives and breaths Asheron's Call 2. He is my god because I do not have AC2 and I want it. Asheron is calling me for the second time, you might say. Heh....not funny. Don't make fun of my disability.
Anyway, my cousin had AC2 on his computer for an ungodly amount of time. Suddenly, his dad deletes it. The cousin makes the comment "I'm going to have AC2. Nothing's going to stop me!" And it hits me. The partisan politics that have divided the capital for so long have finally infiltrated the average American home. The average, working-class, live from paycheck to paycheck American family has become divided into haves and have-nots. They are politicians. *Gasp!*
So, I have decided to class people into two new political groups: the Otm Shanks of the world and the Jacque Chiracs of the world. My cousin is an Otm Shank, and his father is a Jacque Chirac. They are political opposites in the family that is life! My Otm Shank cousin says "AC2 for everyone!" and my Jacque Chirac uncle says "Not if I can help it, bitch!"
I liken the situation to the Kerry v. Bush debate. Kerry says "Welfare for everyone!" and Bush says "Not if I can help it, bitch!" I'm not saying that the Otm Shanks of the world are Democrats and the Jacque Chiracs of the world are Republicans, because my cousin is neither and I won't even talk to my uncle about politics. My point is that family squabbles are turning into what seem to be black and white issues. The family divides into two camps, the Otm Shanks and the Jacque Chiracs.
A case in point is my family. I support gay marriage because, hell, gay people already act married, why not make it official? My parents are completely opposed to gay marriage because it's "wrong" and "it will lead to legalized polygamy". Please...my mom says that gay marriage will open the door to polygamist weddings. I simply counter with "Gay people just want what you have. The bottom line is that heterosexual marriages opened the door for homosexual marriages." My sister supports me on this one.
In the end, the Otm Shanks of the world and the Jacque Chiracs of the world will never get along. In fact, they will be holding parties together in the exact way that Democrats and Republicans don't. To make my story complete, I'm sure you are all dying to know: "Why Otm Shank and Jacque Chirac?"
Well, for those of you who are Simpsons fan-savants, you will know who Otm Shank is and I won't have to elaborate further. I just like that name. So, for the group that I sympathize with, they are Otm Shanks. As for Jacque Chirac, he's a pussy bitch. The group that is opposed to the one I sympathize with are the Jacque Chiracs.
In closing,
BOMB IRAQ! THEN CHIRAC!
I love that bumper sticker....
I have spoken.
Obey.
User Reviews
Submitted by matchstickman (user info) at 2004-06-28 00:43:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
btw im his otm shank cousin. thanks.
and its a legal download, not off p2p or anything like that.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-06-23 18:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ARMORED CORE TWO IS TEH PWN BUT I HAVE IT FOR PS2
Submitted by Mentor (user info) at 2004-06-23 18:22:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did I say I didn't agree with downloading games and movies? The problem is that they often have virii and spyware! Oh boy!
'Tis the reason my computer is free of shit like that. I don't do it. I have a comfy job that provides enough money for me to order that shit off the internet.
Submitted by joe <Blow.Your.Load.at.Your.Mom> at 2004-06-23 15:20:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
DUDE, downloading games is pimp... i get all my games and movies online...
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2004-06-23 14:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-06-23 14:17:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2