The time I got high on Ammonium (707 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.07 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by D7 (View user info) at 2004-06-24 10:26:33 EDT
I never really learn
http://www.ubersite.com/m/35982
So I was a geek in high school, straight A's, hung out with a select few of my geek friends. We didn't drink in high school, instead we did things like play paintball and design and build potato guns. I really hated the popular kids, the beautiful people, the football players, and the confident kids.
So one night one of my friends and I were sitting around devising ways to get back at these people we so loathed. This was the mid to late nineties mind you, so a mass school shooting wasn't on the map yet. (That was a pretty tasteless joke, but we're all adults so deal with it).
There was a big football game scheduled for the next day, so a light bulb went off in my head that we should do something to the football field. I wanted to poor gasoline on it and light a match and walk away. My friend wasn't as ballsy as I was though, so he suggested pouring ammonium and laundry detergent all over it, the theory being it would die and look like shit.
We went to a grocery store and bought as many bottles of ammonium and detergent we could carry without too much trouble. We drove to school at around 1am and walked up to the fenced in field. These weren't your normal chain link fences. They were about twice as tall as normal. I climbed over first and told my friend to throw the shit over the fence. He successfully threw over the detergent and the first couple bottles of ammonium. His next bottle of ammonium missed and it fell back to him. What I didn't know was that the cap had shattered on the top bar of the fence. My idiot friend threw the bottle over again. It tumbled in the air and drenched me in ammonium. Luckily I wear glasses, and I shut my eyes in time. Some landed in my mouth, however. I spit and coughed immediately.
I was stunned for a moment, the ammonium rapidly evaporating from my skin, giving me a cooling sensation. All I could mutter was, "You fucking soaked me in ammonium" He climbed over the fence and just stared at me.
"Are we still doing this" he said nervously.
"I'm not turning back now," I said
I uncapped the bottles and turned them down and ran as fast as I could across the field. My friend followed. When we got to the other side I was taking deep, panting breaths. We turned around and ran back the other way, zigzagging across the field. When we reached the fence, I felt sick. I vomited. My friend helped me over the fence and we got in his car.
"Drive to a park", I said
When we got to the park, my world was spinning. I got out of the car and wretched again. I wanted to die. I lay in the cool grass for what seemed like an hour. My friend kept asking me if I was ok.
I told him what a fuckup he was and that this was his entire fault. After a while I felt a bit better and he drove me home. I went to bed wondering if I was going to die.
The morning came to soon, and I went to school. I was giddy with excitement waiting to hear people talking about the damage to the field. I drove slowly by... to my horror, the field was as green and luscious as it had been the night before.
"FUCK!" I screamed and hit the steering wheel hard.
After all that trouble, the ammonium and detergent hadn't done a damn thing. I mustn't have paid much attention in chemistry class ( I'm more of a physics man anyway), ammonium is a key ingredient in most fertilizers. I had never felt so stupid, and wished I had more balls to use the gasoline.
User Reviews
Submitted by DetroitCity (user info) at 2004-07-08 19:50:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
amonnia??
Submitted by JMcBride (user info) at 2004-07-08 17:47:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Robot9698 is gay
Submitted by Robot9698 (user info) at 2004-07-08 15:01:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by hank_scorpio (user info) at 2004-06-30 13:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-06-28 15:33:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
is Ammonium the same as Ammonia?
Ammonium - NH4
Ammonia - NH3
Ammonia is what you can get at a grocery store for cleaning and such. I'm confused.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-06-24 12:48:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-06-24 11:11:42 (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for fighting the power of the popular kids.
+1 for doing something to the football field (I did too, but we won't mention that...)
-1 for using ammonia
-1 for using laundry detergent
(Laundry detergent? LAUNDRY DETERGENT? where the hell did you come up with THAT one?)
+1 for blaiming your friend, and possibly causing him to go on a downword spiral that would have ended with him sucking dick for crack.
___________________
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
This guy cracks me up.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-06-24 12:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're lucky that you you didn't get in trouble for buy mass quantities of ammonia. Ammonia is an ingredient used in prodoction of methanphetamines and various homemade explosives. A purchase like that usually throws a red flag up with law enforcement.
Anyway, the post was funny.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-24 12:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
-2 for trying to vandalize property
+2 for you not succeeding
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2004-06-24 12:19:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Poor mans mustard gas would be onion and something I won't tell you. Hey kiddo! Go on like that and you will not make to your first chemistry class. People tend to die doing shit like that...
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2004-06-24 11:17:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Doesn't mixing ammonium with laundry detergent (certain types) create a poor man's mustard gas?
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-06-24 11:11:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for fighting the power of the popular kids.
+1 for doing something to the football field (I did too, but we won't mention that...)
-1 for using ammonia
-1 for using laundry detergent
(Laundry detergent? LAUNDRY DETERGENT? where the hell did you come up with THAT one?)
+1 for blaiming your friend, and possibly causing him to go on a downword spiral that would have ended with him sucking dick for crack.
Submitted by JMcBride (user info) at 2004-06-24 11:07:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fetish is kind of a dick?
his post was pretty dumb.
Submitted by JMcBride (user info) at 2004-06-24 11:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did anyone find out you did this? Even though it was a failure?
Submitted by JMcBride (user info) at 2004-06-24 11:06:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF?
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-24 11:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That reply you put on my post was better than this post.
Submitted by lawryde (user info) at 2004-06-24 11:05:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh right I should have just put WTF? that would have made more sense
You shit was stupid... even though I love funny anecdotes about things that happen in computer science classes.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-24 10:59:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for the retaliation -2. http://www.ubersite.com/m/36588#611243
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-24 10:49:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Okay...
It was boring... I had to fight the urge to stop reading, and it was pointless.
There you go. Notice that WTF is a good summary of the above.
Submitted by JMcBride (user info) at 2004-06-24 10:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The school shooting joke was funny... cancer funny
Submitted by lawryde (user info) at 2004-06-24 10:48:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tough croud today
Submitted by UlfGabe (user info) at 2004-06-24 10:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you didnt get high on ammonium, it was killin you.
look at the fatal dosage, getting even small amount into your system can kill quickly.
you were close
ammonium is about 10000 more times toxic that urea (nitrogen compound of urine)
do it some more
Submitted by lawryde (user info) at 2004-06-24 10:42:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-24 10:35:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
WTF!!!
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I love constructive criticism
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-06-24 10:36:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hid in a bathroom once in elementary school after knocking over someone's cello. They must've used so much ammonium-based cleanser in that bathroom... I swear, I considered bolting out of it several times, preferring to die by the rending claws of my classmates.
I stayed in there, though, and I still write from there today.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-24 10:35:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
WTF!!!