Grammar Nazism (1631 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.43 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by aliasjxc (View user info) at 2004-06-24 13:18:32 EDT
I am a self-proclaimed "grammar Nazi."
I have certain pet-peeves that just floor me and make me cringe and squirm when I see them in writing. Even--especially--when I see them on a computer screen, I just want to scream at the offending party.
Who's to blame for this? My parents. I was raised by a rabid pack of English majors.
Now, surely, I make typos every now and then (like everyone else), but some things should just
be common sense! If English is not your first language, of course, then you have some immunity.
My actual pet-peeves, if you're wondering...
-Internet "leet speak"
First of all, the word is "elite." Secondly, no matter how many times you type "l33t," you are
probably not a "h4xx0r" and you never will be. Get a life. Learn to spell.
-Internet short-cut typing
I don't mind "BRB" or "AFK." I use them constantly. What bothers me is when I see "u." Does it
really take that much longer to type the "y" and the "o?" It damn well shouldn't! Spell out the
whole word. It makes it easier to understand (what is supposed to be) basic English. "Plz" start
typing it out so I can understand what "ur" trying to say.
-Punctuation and capitalization
Use periods. Exclaim! Want to ask me a question? Well, fuck off; I'm not answering. If you are
making a new sentence, you need to do both of the following: finish the last sentence with a
period, exclamation mark, or question mark; and begin the next sentence with a capital letter.
On that point--only capitalize words that start sentences or words that are proper nouns. "My Dog"
is not a proper noun.
Apostrophes are generally used for possessive nouns (with some exceptions). You should never use
an apostrophe (') if you are writing/typing a plural noun. "Tables" is a plural noun. There is more
than one table. "Table's" means that the table owns something.
-"Alot" is not "allright" to use
If you're described a large number things, the corret term is "a lot." There's a fucking space
there. If you're ok, then everything is "alright." There's only one "l." It's a common mistake.
Learn to avoid it.
-StrongBad Song
If you want to be possessive, it's just "I-T-S," but if you're using a conjunction, it's
"I-T-apostrophe-S!" It's = it is. Its = a possessive pronoun (it). Example: "It's funny to
watch a dog lick its balls."
-Where? Who?
"They" is a pronoun. "Their" is a possessive pronoun. "They're" is conjunction of "they are," and
"there" is a place. Example: "They're taking their cat over there to the swimming pool." While this
is a bad idea, it demonstrates good grammar.
Yes. I'm a bitch. I'm sorry...but, please, if you flame me--use "good English."
User Reviews
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-06-25 12:44:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Circe,
At least it didn't say
"If you can read this, thank you're teacher."
I couldn't agree more with a high standard of grammar!
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2004-06-24 21:46:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Don't call me a Grammar Nazi damnit, my grandfather was a Grammar Jew."
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-06-24 21:41:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What about the your - you're paradigm?
Submitted by humor_me (user info) at 2004-06-24 21:40:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The one that really makes me angry is "should of" versus "should have".
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-06-24 21:35:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You think you're bad? I've been known to succumb to violent road rage when I see this bumper sticker:
"If you can read this, your too close."
(I feel dirty and unclean just by writing that..)
Submitted by hairsphincter2 (user info) at 2004-06-24 21:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Umm... do you mean "use English well"?
I hope that was a subtle gag.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-06-24 21:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-06-24 20:13:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I personally HATE people who get homonyms mixed up. HATES THEM, WE DOES! YESSSSSSS! Oh, the humanity of it all.
Submitted by Amy (user info) at 2004-06-24 19:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No comments
Submitted by Mentor (user info) at 2004-06-24 19:09:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear god...people accuse ME of ripping off Maddox....
I would give it a -2 just out of spite, but the point is important.
Zheng HEIL! (german sp?)
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-24 18:59:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Grammar huh?............you'd love my post's and replies then..........I'm a grammar guru also.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-24 18:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I came here hoping to learn something new, but it's just the same rehashed basics. My negative 2 is symbolic.
Submitted by atz (user info) at 2004-06-24 16:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
When I'm using IRC or some other form of live chat, I don't stick to all the rules. I don't use much capitalization, nor do I end every sentence with a punctuation mark. A typical message from me might look like this:
there's nothing I love more than McDonald's food
I try to make it understandable, but "Haha." just doesn't look right.
On the other hand, I try my best to use perfect grammar on message boards.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-06-24 15:58:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JinkyWilliams I think you're confused; the Grammarnazis is a political party. The Spellstaffel is a military organization whose goal it is to enact violent death upon transgressors of the Granzis' (that's short for Grammarnazis) agenda. Thus, you cannot be a "card carrying member" of the Spellstaffel.
Heil grammar!
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-24 15:56:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
dude this s|_|><><()r3D u suck my ballz and 3//=\\+ my ballz theyre i said its
Submitted by JinkyWilliams (user info) at 2004-06-24 15:20:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am a card-carrying member of the Spellstaffel.
Stay orange.
--JW
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2004-06-24 15:03:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's the internet not 5th period in high school. stop fucking with my head
i know i never capitalize may i be struck down.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-06-24 14:43:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh... That was amusing and insightful.
Are you perchance also a member of the SS? (Spell Staffel.) :D
itchysfakepersonna - use the he/him method. He = who while him = whom. e.g.:
For who/whom the bell tolls. For him the bell tolls. (Answer: whom.)
Who/whom is at my door? He is at my door. (Answer: who.)
So there!
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-06-24 14:36:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Me fail english, that's unpossible!
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-06-24 14:32:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dammit
I gave this post a +2 instead of a -2
Now the Uber space time continuim is destroyed
GO BEARS WOO!!!
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2004-06-24 14:14:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I enjoyed this because I am an English major. I get annoyed sometimes as well, but I think it's because I'm getting set in my ways and have this (correct? incorrect?)idea that only young people have bad grammar. I was raised in Southern Mississippi, so I know that I don't really speak the Queen's English either. Thank God for spell check.
Submitted by itchysfakepersonna (user info) at 2004-06-24 14:09:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now can you give me some help on that "who" v. "whom" thing? I can never keep that straight for some reason.
Submitted by WRECKER (user info) at 2004-06-24 14:03:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ma eyz sw3lld wit teers!!!!1111o1!!!oneone!!!!!11brbjkjklololasdflkdsf
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2004-06-24 13:52:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by aliasjxc (user info) at 2004-06-24 13:45:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I spelled "correct" wrong.
LOL. I'm such a dolt. Major typo, honestly.
Besides, my post wasn't about spelling...it was about GRAMMAR! :)
Submitted by Fartman <Fartman.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-06-24 13:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"You spelled correct wrong."
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA.!!!! ROFLMFAO alot......
Submitted by AlahAckbar (user info) at 2004-06-24 13:32:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
-"Alot" is not "allright" to use
If you're described a large number things, the corret term is "a lot."
You spelled correct wrong.
Submitted by Fartman <Fartman.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-06-24 13:31:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don unnerstan dis post? do u.
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2004-06-24 13:27:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL l33t
U r teh pompous suxor
I pwn U
GO BEARS WOO!!!