Wal-Mart & Mexicans (1109 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.77 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bad ASCII <rivermojado.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-06-24 22:46:20 EDT
Isn't it funny that illegal Mexicans shop at Wal-Mart and buy the stuff they used to make when they lived in Mexico? Of course, they couldn't earn a living so they escaped the labor camps and crossed the border.
I decided to fuck with the illegals in my local area so I dressed up in official-looking attire and walked into the Evil Wal-Mart Empire's largest store in the area.
I approached a Mexican who was obviously illegal. He had nearly his whole family there, and not one could speak English.
"Where is your green card?" I said to him. He looked puzzled.
"Donde esta la fucking green card? La migra." I said and he looked scared that time.
Everyone in his family stayed put as I pulled out one of those hand-held motorola radios and called for my buddy to pull around the van.
My friend pulls up to the front doors with a full-size Ford van with black tinted windows.
His family is in panic mode. I flash a badge and tell them "Vaminos." And direct them to the van.
People are watching and some start applauding, actually. It was pretty funny, as nobody asked us for real identification. I think they were glad that it appeared someone was doing something about the illegal aliens.
So now, they start crying, pleading with me. My knowledge of Spanish isn't good, but enough to scare the shit out of them. So I start saying shit like "cárcel" (jail) and stuff. They cry more.
Now, I have 7 dirty ass mexicans in the back of this van driving down the road trying not to bust out laughing. They are begging and pleading with me... Obviously as they are on their knees crying and shit.
They offer up one of their daughters...a slightly overweight chick with decent sized melons. I tell them no and point to one of the better looking women.
One man in the group says "no, no, no. Esposa." Whatever the fuck that means. I reply with "cárcel" again. A couple other of the men in the group push the woman towards me to the objections of the other guy. So we drive to an alley and I pull her out of the car and nail her standing up on the side of the van.
We kicked those mexicans out of the car and told them to get lost, or we'll bring them to jail next time. The one guy looked pretty upset that I had sex with that woman, but I could care less. We drove off with their groceries, too.
Me and my friend divided the goods and wound up tossing most in the trash. Mexicans buy SHIT, let me tell you.
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-08 15:46:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahhahahha
Submitted by Killer Rabbit at 2004-08-14 23:59:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sounds like Hitlers wet dream if Hitler was 6.
Submitted by The Rage <none> at 2004-07-24 13:51:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you. You are a fucking waste of life.
Submitted by genocidic001 (user info) at 2004-07-24 13:38:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Rape + racism = -2.
I hope you die.
Submitted by satan at 2004-07-24 13:00:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
mexican men work mowing lawns. and mexican women work at hotels.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-07-24 12:57:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Voy a tener que llamar merde en esto.
Submitted by Bowlo Cholo <GlueHuffingMexicans.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-07-24 12:28:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The story would have been better if you wouls have locked them all in the van and set it on fire.
Terrible to waste a good van like that though.
Submitted by stupidMex <stupids.at.stupidmexicans.com> at 2004-07-22 01:08:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome story, however I don't support the rape aspect. But very funny
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www.stupidmexicans.com
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Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2004-07-08 18:25:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And another one. just to make sure: -2
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2004-07-08 18:24:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ah just for the principle. I've read your other post. have a (1+1)*-1 here, too!
Submitted by TheEmuQuack (user info) at 2004-07-03 22:13:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Esposa = Wife
Esposo = Husband
I found absolutly no humor in that. Since when has being a racist been humours (is that spelled right?) to anyone. Well, a little racisim can be funny if done correctly, but taking it to the extent to rape is just sick.
Submitted by cheruboo (user info) at 2004-07-03 21:55:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
did you ever know that your my hero?
Submitted by Cypher (user info) at 2004-07-03 21:16:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh. A zero.
Bah, this sucks.
Submitted by Cypher (user info) at 2004-07-03 21:12:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What... I gave you a 1?
Submitted by Cypher (user info) at 2004-07-03 21:09:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Esposa? I'm thinking that means that that was his wife.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-25 10:39:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you are a piece of shit
shenanigans!!
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-06-25 10:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I keeeel you beeetch!
Submitted by Captainallthat <cat.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-06-25 10:26:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I sincerely hope you catch a venerial disease.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-25 10:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-06-25 10:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
+2!
Rape is hilarious!
+2!
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-06-25 10:08:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope that man finds you by yourself and murders you.
Submitted by johnyboyny <johnyboyny.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-06-25 09:57:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that wouldve been funny as hell if it was true
no no not my wife lolz
Submitted by squattail (user info) at 2004-06-25 09:56:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the 3rd best post on ubersite.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-25 09:54:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, this is the best thing I've ever read here. Seriously.
Submitted by Dave3811 (user info) at 2004-06-25 09:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Esposa = Spouse, a.k.a. Wifey.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-25 08:34:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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-->"That would've been funny, had it happened."
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Dude, it was funny anyways; givin' me ideas ;)
Submitted by sliver (user info) at 2004-06-25 07:33:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
EEWWWWWWWWWW you fucked a taco
Submitted by misanthrope (user info) at 2004-06-25 02:24:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by bowbag (user info) at 2004-06-25 01:28:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-06-24 23:30:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I hope this really happened because now your cock is going to rot off and you're gonna die in a couple of years.
Submitted by atz (user info) at 2004-06-24 22:58:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That would've been funny, had it happened.