Seagull baseball (410 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jid Stevenson <JidzRevival.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-06-26 17:40:53 EDT
Ok everyone, I must say that this is my first time posting an article on the legendary Ubersite. Having been a reader for some time I began to think to myself, finally, there are soem people as mentally deprived as me, that take pleasure out of reading things of a strange nature. Thus, I have decided to share my strangeness with you all.
The idea to create my now thriving business, Seagull baseball, occured to me one day while walking down the Ocean City, Md, boardwalk. The seagulls there are obsessed with Thrashers French Fries, they swoop down and grab them right out of your hand, and I must say they have good taste. However, they will only swoop down if you hold the fry out, away from any harmful objects. This makes it quite difficult to whack the ?§¶•ª out of annoying seagulls with a baseball bat.
The answer hit me when I looked out over the water and saw a fisherman baiting a hook. The answer hit me like a boly of lightning. I then went and bought a small trashers, and placed one or two on a fish hook, then tied the hook to a fishing line, which I tied down to the boardwalk. After dropping the fries on the boardwalk, I placed up warning cones around the area to keep tourists from wandering out into my business. Within seconds, a horde of precisely 87 seagulls dove after the fry, several of them sustaining concussions trying to dive faster than the other birds.
The gulls bit down on the fries with such vigor the hook actually pierced their beaks. Haha, the birds were now mine! I scared the rest away, and was left with 10 seagulls tied to the boardfwalk, flying around about five feet from the ground mindlessly.
The test: I grabbed an inflatable bat from a nearby vendor and began to beat the birds sensless. Their great squacks are very pleasing to the ear. Now, I removed the cone and opened up a sign, "Seagull baseball, $10 for 10 hits"
With a roar, the anguished tourists flung themselves at the gulls, taking vengence for the loss of valuble and tasty fries over many years. Come on by anytime you would like, it's great therapy for any cuase. Wife leave you? Get fired.... agian? The problems are endless, and while we don't offer a solution, we offer a way to clear your mind by providing an easy way to wash away your anger. Comming soon: Seagull mini Golf
User Reviews
Submitted by Adman (user info) at 2004-06-26 18:41:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
When you spelled "some" wrong on the second line I got briefly worried, then it turned out to be a pretty good first try, that was actually a story and not just a random gimmick. My first one was a picture of another user with a penis in his mouth -> http://www.ubersite.com/m/29023
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2004-06-26 18:30:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Very good for first time. Kudos.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-06-26 18:11:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck baseball.
+2 because seagulls are fly ocean rats. Fuck 'em.
Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2004-06-26 17:54:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for FRENCH FRIES, and seagulls, and BASEBALL!
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-06-26 17:45:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Seagulls suck.
Welcome to Uber. You'll probably get flamed for this.
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2004-06-26 17:44:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ok everyone, I must say that this is my first time posting an article on the legendary Ubersite.
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I got this far and my suspicions were verified. This is a piece of crap.