Giving Head (hey look at me im original) (12394 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.77 on 222 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <alilmeow.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-06-30 18:21:57 EDT
Okay, so I recently lost my virginty to my boyfriend. (wo0t go me) And well, frankly I have always hated the thought of head and well... anything to do with the god damned penis. But that is partly how we started talking, about head. And, when he took that thing out of his pants, I wass all over it. I gave him head 3 times, once for about 30 minutes, and well, he didn't cum. But he said it was the best head he'd ever gotten (no, I'm not actually going to believe that. Though I feel a mighty good job ^.^) but, even though he didn't come, he fucked my brians out for a good hour or so in my bathroom, and he didn't even cum that much there. Now, my question is, was he just tired or was I really that fucking bad?
Oh yah... and I'm looking for some goood tips on making him cum. :p
BTW, thats me, just thought I should add it, no reason. -=^.^=-
User Reviews
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2007-12-04 22:38:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This is a serious writer's forum.
Submitted by Oxymoron (user info) at 2006-02-09 16:11:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've never came from head. Not sure why, I don't have any problems cumming from sex or masturbation(when I'm not 3 sheets to the wind). I still enjoy getting my knob slobbered on, but have always wondered if my orgasm feels different when getting head.
As far as your BF goes. Him not coming from sex is most likely not your fault, (unless you have a kung fu grip on his stick). I would find out if he is taking any medication, such as anti-depressents. Sometimes these can cause men to be incapable of reaching the summit.
This post was submitted like 6 months ago, so the odds of you and him still being together are slim, but thought I would throw my $.02 in.
PS: Do Felatio induced O-gasms feel the same as Intercourse induced O-gasms?
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-02-09 16:03:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-06-30 18:35:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
try biting it. hard. maybe he'll beat you.
***********************
I may be inexperienced, but I'm not an idiot. -.-
===================================================
Actually, you are a fuckin' idiot. And how old are you exactly? Twelve? Thirteen?
My honest guess in 15/16. This post sucked cock worse than you! OHHHHH!!! SHIT, SON!!!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-02-09 15:58:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-09 15:22:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
where the fuck are all these old posts coming from
Submitted by sleepingmonkey (user info) at 2006-02-09 15:49:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Next time (if there has been one) jam a finger up his ass while you give head. If he doesn't cum, you'll at least get a fantastic reaction.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-02-09 15:39:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"even though he didn't come, he fucked my brians out for a good hour or so"
BEST
FUCKING
LINE
EVAR
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-02-09 15:38:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
BROOMHAHAH
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-09 15:32:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
blowjob post with 13 yr old in a camwhore. +2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-02-09 15:24:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahahahahah
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2005-11-16 06:34:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you little slut you can suck my pussy if you want
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-11-16 06:15:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Reserect this alter Georgie, she was so much fun.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-11-16 06:08:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
4. Altoids. Let them sit in your mouth, go down on him and then blow lightly after you have gone down for a minute. Then repeat. If you blow on it, and then go down, it creates a cold to hot sensation which should feel very nice for him.
-------
I hate that. Having a cold willy means having a limp willy.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-11-16 05:44:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha i love this fucking website, it's been entertaining me for 2+ years and running
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-11-16 05:35:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Classic old post
Submitted by Boon (user info) at 2005-09-17 21:20:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
still funny
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-07-09 15:22:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
where the fuck are all these old posts coming from
Submitted by Innocent23 (user info) at 2005-07-09 15:05:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You look kind of like what Lacey Chabert used to look like.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-07-09 14:32:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hey this bitch's website was an ALOD
I remember that picture
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-07-09 14:30:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Put your fist in his ass.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-07-09 14:04:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Now, my question is, was he just tired or was I really that fucking bad?
_________________________
I don't really think it was either. I think he can't get past the fact that he's trying to enjoy statutory rape. But don't worry; there are crusty, smelly men waiting on street corners who will gladly shoot some wad in (or on) you. I bet you'd get some nice cash out of it, too!
Submitted by Pr0j3ct (user info) at 2005-07-09 13:35:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Try to get him close then let him finish off and cum in your face"
Girls actually DO THAT!?!?!?!?
DAMN....Why didn't anyone tell me..?
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2005-07-09 13:15:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
whats with the recent reviews on this post? it sucked
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-07-09 12:43:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. I am oddly attracted to you.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-07-08 22:13:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
dubbya
tee
eff
Submitted by MrFunions (user info) at 2004-07-24 16:52:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'll be thinking about that when I'm done pissing on your grave.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-07-24 16:43:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why am I rating this?
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-07-07 23:01:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Remember that time in Happy Gilmore when Adam Sandler gives a big thumbs-down motion and accompanies it with a farting noise?
Submitted by Jewbersite at 2004-07-06 22:52:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Oh yah... and I'm looking for some goood tips on making him cum. :p"
touch his wiener! duh
Submitted by KayBee (user info) at 2004-07-06 22:49:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nah, you just suck (no pun intended). Go back to barbies, you cant fail with those.
Submitted by Lady_in_the_radiator (user info) at 2004-07-06 18:21:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://kevan.org/brain.cgi?real%20child%20of%20hell
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Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-07-06 17:21:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
theres something about your face i really DO like....
Submitted by Punk-not-dead (user info) at 2004-07-06 05:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Okay, so I recently lost my virginty to my boyfriend. (wo0t go me)"
This cant be real, if it is, so help us god
Submitted by Theory_Eyed (user info) at 2004-07-06 03:37:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
theres sopmething about your face i really dont like....
Submitted by CoachMagirk (user info) at 2004-07-05 17:42:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Don't use teeth for the love of god! It is murder! If you're doing it right, maybe your boyfriends gay?
Love,
Peepoepoewitz
Submitted by doomcloud <doomcloud87.at.aol.com> at 2004-07-05 17:12:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by CystMaster (user info) at 2004-07-05 15:32:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hate you.
Submitted by TheEmuQuack (user info) at 2004-07-05 15:11:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why don't you use just let this post die?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-07-05 11:57:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
pute
Submitted by Mike at 2004-07-05 09:48:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You look like you're about 12 years old. Maybe you should do your math homework rather than study up on how to be a great slut. You'll have your 20's to think about that. Twit.
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-07-05 09:34:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Cjad_teh_Nord (user info) at 2004-07-04 02:29:32 (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm sorry, but...
j00 ju57 g07 pwnt!1!!1!!!!11!1!!
this was the most thought provoking thing I read all day. I'm going to have rampant sex in the bathroom now...
___________________________
this fuckwit doesn't even know the meaning of rampant
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-07-05 09:32:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ugh
you're not atractive
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2004-07-05 02:48:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You scare me.
Submitted by Sicgrrl (user info) at 2004-07-05 01:27:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
eww fuck me, lick my pussy. i'm so funkn horny, i want cex. Love yr eyes.
Submitted by Sicgrrl (user info) at 2004-07-05 01:16:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lets have lezbos cex. Respect whore!!!
Okay ya - I did read ya guys notes, an well fucking sweet.
Submitted by Blitzen (user info) at 2004-07-05 01:03:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
whoa. for a minute i didn't know what site i was on...
that was wierd and i'm scared now
plus i think i need to go to bed
Submitted by CystMaster (user info) at 2004-07-05 00:58:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
One more.
Submitted by CystMaster (user info) at 2004-07-05 00:57:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHhkjhk8i89789HHHH98IUOLJH. Stop commenting on others reviews. Give up, everyone hates you. Oh yeah, Slim Fast.
Submitted by FallenFrank (user info) at 2004-07-04 23:18:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And by the way he probably just jerked it 50 or so times that day thats why he "didn't cum that much" when a guy goes he goes all the way, he doesnt loose it alittle bit, the whole load goes but if you jerk it or have sex alot that means your balls have to get more giz so your stupid bastard of a boyfriend either jerked it alot or had sex many times that day. Also this would explain why it took him so long, when you jerk it twice in a day and do it again any guy will say the third time around it takes a while even up to hours and you get a smaller load, now for this i demand you have sex with me I am currently jerking to your picture in another window! hahaha!
Submitted by FallenFrank (user info) at 2004-07-04 23:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm going to masterbate to that picture, and you are a stupid bitch.
Submitted by repsik (user info) at 2004-07-04 22:56:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-07-04 11:24:43 (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm going to use my bad-ass detective skills and make sure your parents read this.
---
Rifksicles.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-07-04 22:39:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Be careful, Fetish might start trying to e-sex you up.
He does that to every female that comes here.
Submitted by Punk-not-dead (user info) at 2004-07-04 21:56:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YU LoK L1k 5lUt @+ +hu 8oT0m oF 0YUr c0rn3R 5+R1+, wHER 5 u$@! moN135 9It $UCKy $UCky!
Submitted by koreanboi2030 <koreanboi3.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-07-04 20:54:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YU LOK LIK SLUT AT THU BOTOM OF OYUR CORNER STRIT, WHER 5 USA! MONIES GIT SUCKY SUCKY!
Submitted by MisterD (user info) at 2004-07-04 17:02:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Try smiling
Submitted by doomcloud (user info) at 2004-07-04 16:45:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
blink 182
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-07-04 11:24:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm going to use my bad-ass detective skills and make sure your parents read this.
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2004-07-04 10:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Losing your virginity in the shithouse... bad.
Telling the ubersite world about your experience... worse.
Having that post make it to Most Heated... fucking awful.
My advice to you regarding your problem - threesome (seriously, no joke whatsoever. he'll be splooging everywhere, and you'll enjoy it too)
My advice to you regarding the top statements - cut your losses and never post here again.
Submitted by Punk-not-dead (user info) at 2004-07-04 06:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If you had tits i would masterbate over you.
But unfortunately you don't.
In conclusion, fuck you.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-07-04 04:25:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"All that being said, he probably couldn't cum because you're an ugly trollbeast. Stop posting on ubersite, go get a McJob and save up for plastic surgery."
BHBFKAYUFJASASB YFGASHDUIAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHAHAHAHAHSHASGHFUIPU ANSPA BLABAGHAHSAF A *RYUGNRurw/45665 6 484516onetwoseventythreetwelverandomlettersandnumbersnajfuhwyf 38ujahahahahhahahahahaahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahaha
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-07-04 03:19:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh... your nickname is 'meow'?
Sorry, Meow. My mistake. That makes you far less pathetic. No, really. I mean it.
Submitted by Cjad_teh_Nord (user info) at 2004-07-04 02:29:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm sorry, but...
j00 ju57 g07 pwnt!1!!1!!!!11!1!!
this was the most thought provoking thing I read all day. I'm going to have rampant sex in the bathroom now...
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-07-04 02:06:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
NANANAGANS!!!
Submitted by Jerkface at 2004-07-03 22:57:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No doubt TheEmuQuack.
Submitted by TheEmuQuack (user info) at 2004-07-03 22:25:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, you guys are pretty harsh. This poor little smoulderlishish-teach-me-to-be-a-stank-girl probably will grow up to be a little skank because of the way she is being treated.
Anyone ever think maybe this wasn't shenanigans and the girl just wanted to make her 30 yearold boyfriend cum, but now she feels like a whore who will never amount to anything and now is going to whore herself around seeking someone to care for her and get into abusive relationships foever and die from a OD of crack.
That would suck... Hehe, lets keep tabs on her.
Submitted by Jerkface at 2004-07-03 19:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A few good tips on making him cum:
1. Go shopping for groceries
2. When asked whether you want paper of plastic, ensure you choose paper, and then ask for one plastic bag.
3. Print out picture of Jessica Simpson's face.
4. Paste on paper bag, cutting out the eyes so you can see.
5. Place bag on head
6. I am sure you're boyfriend will have a great time.
7. Don plastic bag on head and breathe deeply.
8. At your wake your family members will make snide remarks on how closely you resemble Donkey from the movie "Shrek".
9. Stop writing posts.
Submitted by TheEmuQuack (user info) at 2004-07-03 17:10:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why don't you just let this thread die since its so crappy.
Submitted by cwl989 (user info) at 2004-07-03 16:14:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You can me can practice fucking and you can practice giving me head.
Practice makes perfect, after all.
Submitted by hooligan at 2004-07-03 15:15:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, easy you guys! kidding...kidding... If you didn't find it funny, I'm sorry. I thought it was funny when I read it, even if the person who wrote it was serious.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-03 14:41:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your email address translates to 'a little meow'
Actually Alil is my name backwards, lay-la, and meow is my nickname, resulting in layla meow. both names. shit head, trying thinking for once
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-07-03 09:05:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
shit.....ha ha ha......after looking at her pic again.....I'd say she's trying to really look ....well.......UBER"
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-07-03 09:03:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-07-03 08:34:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Aye, but Slapshot, the line 'look at me, I'm smouldericious' just sums up the look she has on her mindless twatty little face so perfectly.
=================================================================================================
I have to totally agree with you kiddo........
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-07-03 08:34:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Aye, but Slapshot, the line 'look at me, I'm smouldericious' just sums up the look she has on her mindless twatty little face so perfectly.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-07-03 08:13:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
+1 for Lady and Harmless.. I agree.
+1 for shitfuck. He fucking rules.
-2 for reminding me of a nasty ass whore that I went to high school with.
-2 for having an STD.
You DO have an STD, don't you?
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-07-03 08:06:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I thought it was a female-I-just-got-fucked-in-a-doublewide-bathroom-because-i'm-worth-it version of ZooLAnder's famous "BLUE STEEL".........copyrighted as... "Frosty Blowjob".
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-07-03 07:42:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your email address translates to 'a little meow' (sweet fuck, shoot me) and you're trying so hard in that picture to look pouty and sensual with your hair over your face and... hahahahaha... you took it in a bathroom. I can see the towel rail, which means you spent a bit of time looking in the mirror first to get that look just right; your little 'look at me smoulder.. see how smouldering I am? I'm smouldericious...' look. That is just so. Fucking. Sad.
He didn't blow in your little wanna-goth mouth? Now why doesn't come as a big fucking surprise?
Submitted by Lady_in_the_radiator (user info) at 2004-07-03 03:05:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Harmless (user info) at 2004-07-02 22:48:07 (#)
Ranking: -1
Poorly written, and biology only allows so much sperm.
Also, I hate this person with every thread of my soul. Hooligan, I will kill you one day:
_______________________
Submitted by hooligan at 2004-07-02 17:42:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Here are a few facts about kissing everyone should know
People with crooked teeth kiss better then people with straight teeth
When you chew gum before you kiss,It actually makes your breath smell
worse
because of the salivary glands
Mints work better
Guyz: Its much more romantic to kiss us in a fancy restaurant or under
the
stars then to kiss us in your disgusting bedroom or the movies
Girlz:Just because aguy kisses you every ten minutes doesnt mean hes
using
you....hes just a little horny;-) and theres nothing wrong with that
People with the same hair color kiss better then with different hair
color
Your first kiss isnt always your best kiss
If you can tie a knot in a cherry stem with your tounge, does not mean
your
a good kissser, it just means your tounge muscle is strong
Brunettes kiss better then blondes! YEAH!
All girls are not hoes, and all guyz are not playaz we just all get a
little
horny sometimes!!
______________________
Goddamn. I agree with Harmless. Hooligan, you need to watch your back, for should I ever find you, your immenent death will follow shortly. ACK! Every time I read it, it just gets worse. I WANT TO BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH A MEAT TENDERIZER!
Submitted by Sacrew (user info) at 2004-07-03 02:55:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And here we see Humanity.
Submitted by CanucksFan (user info) at 2004-07-03 02:15:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You see...he must have looked at your face right before climax, resulting in the self induced 'male version' of the shocker.
Submitted by bean (user info) at 2004-07-03 00:29:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hmm... Last time I checked this was a post, not a...uhhh...campsite. So, uh...stop...camping. I guess that's what I'm trying to say. Man, that had so much potential...
Submitted by Poorbusker (user info) at 2004-07-03 00:13:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your boyfriend must be a loser cause your uguly as hell......................stay away from men and just become butch
Submitted by Harmless (user info) at 2004-07-02 22:48:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Poorly written, and biology only allows so much sperm.
Also, I hate this person with every thread of my soul. Hooligan, I will kill you one day:
_______________________
Submitted by hooligan at 2004-07-02 17:42:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Here are a few facts about kissing everyone should know
People with crooked teeth kiss better then people with straight teeth
When you chew gum before you kiss,It actually makes your breath smell
worse
because of the salivary glands
Mints work better
Guyz: Its much more romantic to kiss us in a fancy restaurant or under
the
stars then to kiss us in your disgusting bedroom or the movies
Girlz:Just because aguy kisses you every ten minutes doesnt mean hes
using
you....hes just a little horny;-) and theres nothing wrong with that
People with the same hair color kiss better then with different hair
color
Your first kiss isnt always your best kiss
If you can tie a knot in a cherry stem with your tounge, does not mean
your
a good kissser, it just means your tounge muscle is strong
Brunettes kiss better then blondes! YEAH!
All girls are not hoes, and all guyz are not playaz we just all get a
little
horny sometimes!!
_______________________
Submitted by Snuggles_The_Assassin (user info) at 2004-07-02 22:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by daniel <a7x38.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-07-02 21:41:49 (#)
Ranking: 1
thats really sux...dont worry its prolly not you that cant make him cum,the sex thing and no cum is the odd part. but anyway, yeah your fucking hot, email me some time and ill give you my AIM address if you want tips, i used to swing that way...
---------------------
Hey Daniel,
You know this isn't http://www.mensuckingmen.com.I would never leave my e-mail address and then admit to sucking men popsicles. Don't worry I am leaving it at every gayb\ porn site. Oh and drink some apple juice it cures homosexuality.
Submitted by daniel <a7x38.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-07-02 21:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
thats really sux...dont worry its prolly not you that cant make him cum,the sex thing and no cum is the odd part. but anyway, yeah your fucking hot, email me some time and ill give you my AIM address if you want tips, i used to swing that way...
Submitted by theres_a_cow_in_my_underpants (user info) at 2004-07-02 21:03:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
i can't believe this post is still floating around.
Submitted by beeg412 (user info) at 2004-07-02 20:47:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When he finally does cum, I wanna see him blow in your mouth, then smack ya in the back of the head so the juices come spewing out your nose. That would be a picture. Go angry dragon
Submitted by Pennywisdom (user info) at 2004-07-02 20:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are one fricken ugly bitch.
The average male testicle produces 7,000 sperm a second
Bite his knob, that will make him squeal
Submitted by hooligan at 2004-07-02 17:42:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Here are a few facts about kissing everyone should know
People with crooked teeth kiss better then people with straight teeth
When you chew gum before you kiss,It actually makes your breath smell
worse
because of the salivary glands
Mints work better
Guyz: Its much more romantic to kiss us in a fancy restaurant or under
the
stars then to kiss us in your disgusting bedroom or the movies
Girlz:Just because aguy kisses you every ten minutes doesnt mean hes
using
you....hes just a little horny;-) and theres nothing wrong with that
People with the same hair color kiss better then with different hair
color
Your first kiss isnt always your best kiss
If you can tie a knot in a cherry stem with your tounge, does not mean
your
a good kissser, it just means your tounge muscle is strong
Brunettes kiss better then blondes! YEAH!
All girls are not hoes, and all guyz are not playaz we just all get a
little
horny sometimes!!
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-02 17:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1) your fucking hot
2) give me head instead
3) guys can only cum so many times, after cumming 3 times like you said, it would've taken 3 heidi klums teabagging him at once to make him cum
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2004-07-02 17:26:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Stop posting on ubersite, go get a McJob and save up for plastic surgery."
Hahaha that's too good!
Oh, and for the author, stop posting so much on your own damn submission. It's supposed to be for rating OTHER people's work, not for getting up in arms against everyone who disagrees with you. This post blows...if not for the content, or the picture, purely for how horrendously it was written.
Next time, post a picture of one of your hotter friends.
Submitted by Galgos27 (user info) at 2004-07-02 16:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What? Where's the BOOB shot? You could have at least put a boob shot in the post.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-07-02 16:39:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
*sigh* Okay, this is gonna be my only comment about it, so go ahead and make sure all you ladies (and curious men) bookmark to this.
The Art of a Good Blowjob...
Spit is the operative word here. There should be lots of it on his shaft so...
Start out by taking as much of it as you can in your mouth. Do it a few times till the whole shaft is nice and lubed up.
From then on, focus mostly on the head and an inch or so below it. Curl your lips over your teeth, inhale ever so slightly, and make sure there is a vacuum seal around his penis. Then...go to town.
Try to keep a consistent rhythmn. Whilst sucking, place your hand on his lubed shaft (the spit, remember?) and start jacking him off in rhythmn to your sucking. As your head goes up, the thumb and forefinger circle of your hand should go up with it.
If you're doing it right the hand doing the jerking should be touching your lips at all times, and moving in accordance with them. From then on just vary your method and rhythmn and ba da bing, you're done.
All that being said, he probably couldn't cum because you're an ugly trollbeast. Stop posting on ubersite, go get a McJob and save up for plastic surgery.
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-07-02 13:42:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good form. Welcome to Ubersite.
A note though, you can't rate your own posts. You can try, but the points won't count. Just don't try to +2 your own post, everyone will give you shit for that.
---------------------------------------------
I was giving myself 0's when I was posting, and just gave myself the -2 for shits and giggles, I wouldn't +2 myself, thats just idiotic.
Submitted by Adam_Hussein (user info) at 2004-07-02 13:23:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would do you from behind.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-07-02 13:21:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hehe I'm purtier than her.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-07-02 11:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is a joke.
That girl is disgustingly ugly. White trash in training.
Submitted by none <none> at 2004-07-02 11:43:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you can give me head
Submitted by Fartman <Fartman.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-07-02 11:10:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by squattail (user info) at 2004-07-01 01:32:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
If he punches you in the nose at the end, you know it didn't go so well.
***************************
Ahahahahahahahahaha. Squattie rules.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-02 10:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Half Moroccan, eh? YOU NIGGER!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-07-02 09:44:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ask him for a donkey punch. He'll love you forever.
Submitted by melkorthedelerious (user info) at 2004-07-02 04:02:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-07-01 23:49:33 (#)
Ranking: -2
I -2 myself for getting on "Most Heated".
Gooooo Newbie Bashing!
...
---------------------------------------
Good form. Welcome to Ubersite.
A note though, you can't rate your own posts. You can try, but the points won't count. Just don't try to +2 your own post, everyone will give you shit for that.
Submitted by Sacrew (user info) at 2004-07-02 03:16:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This can't be real.
It just CAN'T.
Submitted by Juggalo_John (user info) at 2004-07-02 03:09:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 just cuz your hot.
For real you dont Shouldn't be worrred about him. You need to look at sex like (As long as i get mine) kind of way.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-02 01:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wanna make your boyfriend cum?....blindfold him. then he can picture an actual hot chick.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-07-02 01:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would fuck you, Ms. Gothic Trash.
Submitted by Vermin (user info) at 2004-07-02 00:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your nose looks like a patato.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-07-02 00:07:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-07-01 23:47:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oi, my head hurts from all this bitching and complaining, just one -2 gets the point through.
As for the depressed Blink 182 thing. Just because a person doesn't smile in a single picture doesn't make them depressed. I actually have a very close relationship with my mother, and well, the crap about not doing homework when I was in school was pretty dead on. C+ Average way to go!
(I wasn't being serious about being happy, just so the stupid asses who take me seriouslly know I'm not being serious)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ahhh HA! You like Blink 182!!!
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-07-01 23:49:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I -2 myself for getting on "Most Heated".
Gooooo Newbie Bashing!
...
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-07-01 23:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oi, my head hurts from all this bitching and complaining, just one -2 gets the point through.
As for the depressed Blink 182 thing. Just because a person doesn't smile in a single picture doesn't make them depressed. I actually have a very close relationship with my mother, and well, the crap about not doing homework when I was in school was pretty dead on. C+ Average way to go!
(I wasn't being serious about being happy, just so the stupid asses who take me seriouslly know I'm not being serious)
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-07-01 22:04:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Let me translate this post for anybody that cant speak retard:
"Hey look at me, i'm an attention starved 15 year old. I had sex with my boyfriend because all my friends were doing it and i felt out of the loop. I hate my parents and i love Blink 182, my favorite thing to do is have some alone time with my teachers so i can get good grades and not have to bother doing homework or attempt to do anything on my own."
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2004-07-01 22:00:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you look like you need an aids test
skanky bitch
i crack meself up
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-07-01 20:47:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ehh but -2 for the post and YOU ARE NOT FUCKING SMILING!
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-07-01 20:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because you're fucking pretty.
Call me!
Submitted by hooligan at 2004-07-01 20:31:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
holy shit, I wouldn't let that face reach fifty feet of my dick, EVER.
Submitted by repsik (user info) at 2004-07-01 19:39:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You have acne on your tits
Submitted by Quetzallan (user info) at 2004-07-01 19:37:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You lost your virginity in a BATHROOM?
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-07-01 19:31:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:12:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, that answered my question...
Here's another one.
Whats your (any guy out there) favorite techniques a girl uses on you?
---------------------------
Sleeping with me and then never talking to me again.
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-07-01 19:18:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-01 04:30:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you posting this was a good thing to do. You're trying to be a better lover, and that's a trait I, for one, look for in a girlfriend.
Don't beat yourself up about him not cumming, it's probably because he was nervous.
===================================================================================================
are you kidding me, Dr Ruth?
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-07-01 19:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-01 10:47:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:41:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Er, heh he hasn't gone down on me, well because heh, I was sorta full on in my period."
====================================================================================================
Any guy worth his weight in gold, already has his REDWING badge. Nothing wrong with walking around with a "Joker" face painted on.
------------------------------------------
You've got to be fucking kidding me?!
====================================================================================================
You seem like you might be able to tie your own shoes...what do YOU Think?
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2004-07-01 17:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, although it is a rookie faux pas to post your picture before you are established I'm glad you did cause you're hot.
Anyway, Im sure by now with all the response you have gotten that you have the gist of the "Uber Rules" so I hope that you keep coming (or to make a bad pun on your post...cumming) back.
To get to the point, if you want to give good head, learn how to deep throat. Also concintrate on different parts of his dick until you find the most sensitive spot (every guy has a different most sensitive spot) and then go wild on it. Basically thats how every chick who has given me good head has done some variation of that.
And if you really want to get good at it call me up...you can practice on me.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-07-01 16:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Were you pulling that face when he was giving you some? If so, was he pulling this one:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37253 ?
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-07-01 16:27:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're fairly pretty, in a 15 year-old girl kinda way. God, I gotta take a shower, wash off all those paedophile vibes.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-07-01 16:17:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Losing your virginity in a bathroom...What a classy guy.
Submitted by gain (user info) at 2004-07-01 15:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
how's being a goldfish working out for you?
Submitted by WRECKER (user info) at 2004-07-01 14:48:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Get some AIDS, that will make him blow the baby batter all over tha plase hahahloloololol!!!!!111111on3on3on311111111!!!!!!!
Submitted by vodka7tall (user info) at 2004-07-01 11:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Abstinence is the best policy, especially if it stops YOU from procreating.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-01 10:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:41:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Er, heh he hasn't gone down on me, well because heh, I was sorta full on in my period."
====================================================================================================
Any guy worth his weight in gold, already has his REDWING badge. Nothing wrong with walking around with a "Joker" face painted on.
------------------------------------------
You've got to be fucking kidding me?!
Submitted by sunjunkie04 (user info) at 2004-07-01 10:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Ask him to give you a hot Karl next time. Then he mushroom stamp you for being some emo/wannabe goth 12 year old.
Submitted by Homsar (user info) at 2004-07-01 10:34:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I declare shenanigans...this is poppycock!! No way in hell this is real.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-01 10:33:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Good sex cums with time and experience . . . you'll have to grow up. Leave the adult things to adults
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-07-01 10:32:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I smell shenanigans and tomfoolery is afoot!
But if not:
Don't even post this kind of literary diahrrea again. Talk to the Sunday Night Sex lady if you want "tips". This is neither the time nor the place. Nobody really wants to hear about a pubescent girl getting her brains fucked out. Partly because if anyone enjoyed that, it's probably illegal. So please...have some consideration and don't post stuff like this.
Submitted by akrofiild (user info) at 2004-07-01 10:31:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You look pretty damn cute and you lips are... never mind.
Don't worry there's hope. First you have to love it. I mean he has to see that you are loving it (the head). I mean really just look like you are having the time of your life. Don't look at him too much or at all. At the risk of sounding offensive, when giving head you are the equivalent of a sexual utility so act like one. The most sensitive area is the little section is the head area (especially the head area thats on your tounge if you are doing things standard). Tease a little (lips, no tounge work great for this). Use at least one hand and don't forget the balls.
If you refine youre technique and shit still won't splooge there are three possibilities for your bf:
1.) He is gay.
2.) He is really, really ... REALLY nervous.
3.) He shit malfunctions get Viagra.
PS What does "and he didn't even cum that much there." mean? He either busted nut or he didn't.
PPS How many times did you come?
PPPS If you get tired of Mr. Misfire just hit me up.
Submitted by bignasty (user info) at 2004-07-01 10:08:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you should die before procreating
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-07-01 10:06:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
he is a gaylord
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-07-01 09:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-07-01 02:30:06 (#)
Ranking: -2
Euuuuuuuuuuuwwwww, you put a winky in your mouth???
_________________________________________________________
All my dreams are crushed
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-07-01 09:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A little poem
"Perineum" (The bit of skin between his nuts and his ass.)
Stroke it, poke it, lick it, flick it, rub it back and forth,
do this while your givin head; he'll bust forever more.
Watch out though for spillages, don't get it in your eye,
Or on your moms best cushions, it don't come out once dry.
Hope this helps.
PS If this doesn't work, i'm always game for fuckin young rock chicks
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-01 04:41:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and:
http://images.google.com/images?q=condom&ie=UTF-8&hl=en
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-01 04:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you posting this was a good thing to do. You're trying to be a better lover, and that's a trait I, for one, look for in a girlfriend.
Don't beat yourself up about him not cumming, it's probably because he was nervous.
Where's SpikeGoddess when you really need her!?
-Random Joe
Submitted by Adam_Hussein (user info) at 2004-07-01 04:24:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Come join me and mi bitches, we will give you a few pointers: http://www.ubersite.com/m/36975
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-07-01 04:09:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Go to Google. Type in "how to kill myself."
And boys have cooties, didn't you know?
Submitted by im_evelyn (user info) at 2004-07-01 02:40:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Fuck. I made a mistake in my haste. Oh well and I agree with Kristen
Submitted by Jesstar (user info) at 2004-07-01 02:40:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Okay, so I recently lost my virginty to my boyfriend. (wo0t go me)
My mind is still boggling at the lack of intelligence of this female. You're a dumb bitch.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-07-01 02:40:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HMMMMMMMMMMM
Now what were you doing tonight Anansie.
Feel like a flight to Australia?
Creedance perhaps yo boyfriend was dis geezer. It would explain his problem.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/36983
Submitted by im_evelyn (user info) at 2004-07-01 02:38:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Die. I would have to agree with that. I have been reading Uber for probably a year now, off and on, and then I left comments. The people here kick so much ass its scary even though some of them are perverted they are intelligent. They write interesting and informative things for me something to read. You sound like a idiot that cannot spell or write correctly.
Atleast try figuring out that sarcasm is spelt like that not "sarcisms(SP??!!!)" and you have alot more grammer/spelling mistakes that make me want to puke. How can you be 19? You write like you are 14. "W00T!!!!!! im so0o0o L337!" Don't lie.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-07-01 02:30:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Euuuuuuuuuuuwwwww, you put a winky in your mouth???
Submitted by gle_ek (user info) at 2004-07-01 02:28:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
2 words
charles bronson
-2 bad
+1 you have enormous balls
Submitted by Pennywisdom (user info) at 2004-07-01 02:18:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
he didnt cum, fucking impitent.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-07-01 02:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
god i am getting tired of all of these teenage assholes.
you give teenages a bad name.
Ubersite is a writing forum. This my prepubescent dear, is a piece of crap.
No one wants to hear about your 30yr old boyfriend's erectile dysfunction.
ready for this...
it may be a shocker...
do you even know what the shocker is???
oh well, im off topic...
NO ONE GIVES A SHIT!!!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-07-01 01:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by squattail (user info) at 2004-07-01 01:32:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
If he punches you in the nose at the end, you know it didn't go so well.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ahahahaha!
Goddammit, I'm bored.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-07-01 01:55:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh for Gods sake!
Submitted by Armadilo (user info) at 2004-07-01 01:32:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
He probably drank sixteen pints of guiness and ate a fuck off hot chicken Phal curry went to you're place had a wank in you're bog and then let you get on with it. Either that or he was asleep.
Come see me i'll give you something to swallow
Submitted by squattail (user info) at 2004-07-01 01:32:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If he punches you in the nose at the end, you know it didn't go so well.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-07-01 01:17:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Um, yeah, I accidentally repeated #8, but so what, it's the most important one, and needs repeating anyway.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-07-01 01:12:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I know you are asking for advice, but this post is poorly done.
I'm not going to scroll down to see what anyone else said, so here:
1. Let him come in your mouth. The orgasm is interrupted and not as enjoyable if he has to worry about pulling out.
2. Play with his balls. Don't squeeze the motherfuckers hard though. A good technique is cupping them both and handling them the way you would handle those chinese stress balls... a kind of twirling motion. DON'T twist them, though. Just the same hand motion you would use for the stress balls. Is that what they are called? Anybody know? If ball hair doesn't bother you, then, suck the balls too.
3. There's an area between the balls and the anus that if you press during an orgasm, could make it a very nice, long orgasm. Some men don't like it however. You could ask for a heads up (haha)on when he's about to come, or you could be aware for tell tale signs, such as increased, heavy breathing, intensified moaning, and his cock will probaby jump and pulsate a bit right before he comes. If he doesn't like it, don't do it.
4. Altoids. Let them sit in your mouth, go down on him and then blow lightly after you have gone down for a minute. Then repeat. If you blow on it, and then go down, it creates a cold to hot sensation which should feel very nice for him.
5. Suck the head hard for a minute, then go down the shaft quickly, then make your mouth into a suction cup, and come back up slowly.
6. Don't be afraid to use your tongue.
7. Teeth can be good if done extremely, extremely lightly. Some men like it, some don't.
8. If you are sexually active, go to the doctor and get birth control immediately. Use condoms, even if you trust him. He might have something and not know it (unless he's a virgin).
9. If you are sexually active, go to the doctor and get birth control immediately. Use condoms, even if you trust him. He might have something and not know it (unless he's a virgin).
10. Try to come up with better posts.
11. Die.
Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2004-07-01 01:03:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just tried to make some insant rice. Man, don't ever put your face in that shit with the burner on. Fucking stings.
Bleh? Yeah I'd do ya. Only if you can get me my sweater back, though.
Submitted by Jesstar (user info) at 2004-06-30 23:57:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
w00t omg sexZ0r is teh koolz ur my new idol.
Shut the fuck up bitch, you suck dick- and not very well by the sounds of things.
"Oh yeah- that was the best head ever, excuse me while I go jack off"
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-06-30 23:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
To summarize:
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-06-30 23:52:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what the hell is wrong with you?!
does this look like fucking deadjournal to you?
go there, post poetry, post your fucking 14 year old face all over it, and then you can say things like OMG HEAD!!!!1111ONE WOOOO!OO!O!!!!! EVENESCENESE ROXORS MY WORLDZ!!!!11
and by the way, he cant come because either:
1) he realises he's fucking a SEVERELY underage chick and its scaring him
2) you're ugly
3) DIE
get the fuck off this site, bitch.
Submitted by Snuggles_The_Assassin (user info) at 2004-06-30 23:51:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet you are fun to fuck doggystyle
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2004-06-30 23:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
bahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha hahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha ahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *cough* *cough* hahahahhahahahahhahahaah *cough*
damn you suck
Submitted by Maleficus (user info) at 2004-06-30 23:43:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Does anyone realize they're giving a 14 year old girl advice on giving head?
Is it just me or is that absolutely...
Submitted by Snuggles_The_Assassin (user info) at 2004-06-30 23:22:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
IM me for BJ tips
SnugglesAssassin-AIM
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-30 23:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:12:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
are my periods...(ellipsis) really that annoying?.I just use them to break up trains of thought.
_______________________________
i do the same thing... don't fret
honey, you DO NOT look fat. don't listen to these egg heads. you are new so they
are gonna harass ya.
there are a few things you can try. now, not all men can cum during oral. try
1) tickling massaging his grundle or "taint"
2) play with his anus during oral
3) try different strokes. as you go down and gobble his cock have your hand in front of
your mouth. in other words stroke *with* not againt the current.
4) that little apex under his penis where the head meets the shaft? concentrate on
there. that's a sensitive spot.
5) play with yourself while you gobble, most guys love that.
I wouldn't worry if he doesn't cum while you suck him off... not all guys can.
Try to get him close then let him finish off and cum in your face.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-06-30 21:53:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmm....interesting
Submitted by emily (user info) at 2004-06-30 21:50:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah, guys like warm liquid in your mouth... It's called cum.
Why don't you try sticking some fingers up his ass? That's what Cosmo always recommends.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-06-30 21:49:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha. No, he either
A) Just got done choking the chicken
or
B) Just got done fucking somebody else
Congratulations, you're a whore!
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-06-30 21:41:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I remeber reading on a site, that having a warm liquid in your mouth adds to the sensation (i cant spell today)
Would any of you guys be interested in that, or to scary?
Submitted by geofroley (user info) at 2004-06-30 21:36:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Snuggles_The_Assassin (user info) at 2004-06-30 18:30:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Wanna hang out?
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-2 for this post
+2 for that response
But I'm going to -2 you anyway.
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-06-30 21:27:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, how does wanting to make someone you care about feel good make you a slut.
Just trying to get some direct male opinions on how they like to get head.
Submitted by downerSTAIN (user info) at 2004-06-30 21:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-1 for being a dumb slut, and -1 for giving bad head.
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-06-30 21:13:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Goth thing? All there is is (wow) black hair eyeliner and shirt. (Heh, no commas.) Not quite gothic to me...
Submitted by PatheticCapitalistFuck (user info) at 2004-06-30 21:05:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
he fucked my brians out for a good hour or so in my bathroom
+fucking2 for that....i can only imagine how many brians could fall out of you in an hour in a bathroom...
Bahahahahahaahahahaha
By the way, the whole gothic thing doesn't work for you.
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-06-30 21:02:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just to clarify some things, I am 19, not 14 or any other stupid age. That picture just makes me look different.
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-06-30 21:00:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've said it once, and I'll say it again...
Ronald McDonald that ass!
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Heh.. I read that thing of yours.
But I didn't want him to while I was on my period.
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:58:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hah! Okay, I found my problem.. I got a bit lazy at the end and started to just give him a hand job... Heh.. Okay..That was a no-no.
-blush-
I guess I should have known that.
Thanks for the tips you guys. Google was starting to be a bother.
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:57:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What are you like 15?
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:56:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what a skank!
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:56:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've said it once, and I'll say it again...
Ronald McDonald that ass!
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't believe I've given this much time to this..........maybe its because you look like Juliet Lewis........and she is my greatest desire. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh the dank, dark things I would do for her.....
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I can safely say that almost every guy in here has had a bloody nose. Same difference
Submitted by melkorthedelerious (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:45:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, earning the redwings isn't really as bad as it would seem. Also many women actually have their period slow or stop when really aroused, so even full on intercourse doesn't get too messy untill you are laying there afterward.
Submitted by melkorthedelerious (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As for techniques: keep your lips tight, get some good negative pressure going (but not too much if you leave a hickey, we will be in a lot of pain later), start slow and work your way into a faster rhythm. Then as he is orgasming soften the grip with your lips, and slow down. If you can tell before he blows, slow down early and prolong those last few seconds. Also, don't quit at the last second and just jerk him off, we can get that feeling all by ourselves. If you won't swallow, at least wait and spit (not on him). As far as using your hands while at it, you can if you want to (since it does speed things up) but it is kind of cheating. one last thing, as far as oral goes, I prefer 69 with the girl on top, it makes the angle she is going at better, and I just love the taste of box. But then again, that could all just be me.
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:41:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Er, heh he hasn't gone down on me, well because heh, I was sorta full on in my period."
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Any guy worth his weight in gold, already has his REDWING badge. Nothing wrong with walking around with a "Joker" face painted on.
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Er, heh he hasn't gone down on me, well because heh, I was sorta full on in my period.
I wasn't trying to make this seem like a diary, just giving background to the question I was asking.
Submitted by melkorthedelerious (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:30:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I completely understand slapshot, I have a tendancy to use them far too often myself.
but I always only use 3, and it was mostly that one review. as far as broken thoughts go it seems like you were being beat about the head with a plastic bat while you were writing that one.
No harsh feelings it was just a little difficult to read.
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:29:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Jesus, your fucking moronic. This isn't your diary, and we aren't you girlfriends.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ass.
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:24:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Woman.........trust me ........any guy in here will tell you that the mere fact that you WANT to place your mouth on our cocks is going to garner you a page full of gold stars from the Teacher (what a dumb fuck that 14 year old was for busting his hot assed reading teacher for sexual abuse).me.I keep that secret with me all the way to her place until I was like 20. (Talk about a Darwin Award winner)
as for techniques read this post, http://www.ubersite.com/m/36083
the post seems to be the best general consensus advice for the subject in here.
As for the boy toy, do you give him constant updates like CNN when he's licking the fish? Or do you wait around hoping he'll hit the right spot eventually? Eating pussy and sucking dick should almost sound like an AUCTION, or a Triple Crown Derby horse Race announcer.
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:14:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just use them to break up trains of thought.
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I think everyone does sweetie -pats your head-
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, that answered my question...
Here's another one.
Whats your (any guy out there) favorite techniques a girl uses on you?
I don't care if I'm sounding like a whore. I want to make my man feel good. And this time I'm not on my period. Mwahah!! >P
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:12:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
are my periods...(ellipsis) really that annoying?.I just use them to break up trains of thought.
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:10:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Me?...Sarcastic?.Is a frogs ass watertight?
Submitted by melkorthedelerious (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:09:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damnit slapshot, I'm tripping on all those periods you keep leaving everywhere. Pick them up.
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:06:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well then Darling.......you're well on your way to becoming a real treat for some "lucky" fucker.
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Sarcasim (sp?) or no. If no, I'm lost..
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well then Darling.......you're well on your way to becoming a real treat for some "lucky" fucker.
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-06-30 20:00:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
he he he .Smells like Teen spirit......TEEN ANGST.........gotta love it, darlin........The problem is all his..........I assure you....attitude, desire and the mere fact that at his age, he probably rubbed it out atleast 10 times before you tried to hook him. Thus eliminating the "easy" one........If I was him..I'd be weary of the "god damned penis" attitude of yours...one only has to utter "Lorena Bobbitt" in a cold sweat to realize that 'Fear......is indeed a factor for him"...Also....your first time and he warmed you up in the bathroom?.....Theres a memory for ya....Romance..........tenderness...........huge pillow covered shiiiiiit..I got toothpaste in my hair.....dammit.
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See, thats the thing, I though I had the "god damned penis" attitude. But when I saw it, I just wanted to please him (ohhh I'm such a whore now)
Bathroom wasn't the first time hun, a mixture of a futon and the floor. This was out third time with in a 15 hour period. And I'm not saying he didn't like it... well all guys like it. But uh... I don't know what I was going to say...
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-30 19:55:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-30 19:49:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
Shitfuck, Snuggles and I are going to run train on you. Make sure you wear your Care Bears undies, we like that shit.
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What about me fucknuts?.....Or are you scared you won't touch both sides if you go after me?
Submitted by confusedfemale (user info) at 2004-06-30 19:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck! I may be young but I'm not a fucking minor! Get over the fact that some chicks have babyfat, or try, just plain fat! ><
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-06-30 19:53:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
he he he .Smells like Teen spirit......TEEN ANGST.........gotta love it, darlin........The problem is all his..........I assure you....attitude, desire and the mere fact that at his age, he probably rubbed it out atleast 10 times before you tried to hook him. Thus eliminating the "easy" one........If I was him..I'd be weary of the "god damned penis" attitude of yours...one only has to utter "Lorena Bobbitt" in a cold sweat to realize that 'Fear......is indeed a factor for him"...Also....your first time and he warmed you up in the bathroom?.....Theres a memory for ya....Romance..........tenderness...........huge pillow covered shiiiiiit..I got toothpaste in my hair.....dammit.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-06-30 19:49:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shitfuck, Snuggles and I are going to run train on you. Make sure you wear your Care B