FBI leaked document (1040 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.4 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by squattail (View user info) at 2004-06-30 23:09:11 EDT
A classified document pertaining to an FBI plan for the elimination of internet spam was yesterday leaked to several representatives of the press. In the brief, details of the plan are outlined and indicate the operation is a joint task between the FBI, the CIA and the US Army. FBI spokesman Paul Bresson responded to this leak with an official statement to the press earlier this morning:
"Quite frankly, the FBI is sick of handling complaints about internet spam filed by obese, unwashed nerds who are hunched over their sperm-stained monitors viewing pornography 18 hours a day. The FBI is working with the CIA and US Army to get rid of internet spam at the source. Online gambling, college degrees, phallus enhancing pills and Bonzai Buddies; somebody must be buying into these things else the spammers themselves wouldn't bother."
"Currently the FBI is tracing credit card transactions for the online purchase of the aforementioned goods and services. If you have ever bought big dick pills or signed up for $10 free casino credit, we're coming to find you. You had better be in Mexico or Canada by the time our troops come back from Iraq, else we going Elian Gonzales on your small-dicked, lonely-ass with your fancy online degree."
User Reviews
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2005-02-03 19:09:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is actually a good squattail post.
We need to bring squattail's fame/notoriety back to Uber. C'mon! For the newbies! Everyone needs to know about squattie.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-07 21:36:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-07-01 21:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that and isn't squattail really a man (or at least supposed to be one?)
A flame that just went terribly bad...It can happen to anyone.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-07-01 10:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Eh... Yeah, I don't know. But I'd do it!
(Sometimes my hands type something my mind doesn't think. That's what I get for typing like 80WPM+)
Submitted by Natsukau (user info) at 2004-07-01 10:03:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was fucking hilarious. And StabKill, exactly how would you punch one'a "fast" in?
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2004-07-01 09:58:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
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Submitted by squattail (user info) at 2004-06-25 07:59:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and btw: I'm gay
http://www.ubersite.com/m/36673
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Submitted by dinnerkraft (user info) at 2004-07-01 09:47:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-07-01 08:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
but that thing about helping a guy get money out of Nigeria, that's real right?
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-07-01 08:08:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What's with your attitude? +1 for the post.
-1 for your attitude.
And -2 for the fucked up old ass picture .... that shit is 4 years old now.
After reading your posts, I want to bash your fast in with a 2x4. It's bitches like you as to why guys go gay.
Fucking snapping off for no reason.
Here is some advice...FIND A GOD DAMN BOYFRIEND. If he beats you, you better just fucking take it because you probably deserve it anyways.
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2004-07-01 02:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"...else we going Elian Gonzales..."
Just enough time has passed - funny stuff
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-07-01 01:06:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You just gotta love the guy.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-07-01 00:34:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good stuff.
Submitted by Vermin (user info) at 2004-07-01 00:24:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have bought all the big dick pills. They don't work.
Submitted by gbusman (user info) at 2004-07-01 00:12:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
brilliant.
-Bus