An Untitled Account....of Lenore (607 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.6 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mentor (View user info) at 2004-07-02 01:47:30 EDT
Note: To prove just how truly insane I am, and to show you what you can accomplish while tripping on acid/sleep-deprivation, I present you with
AN UNTITLED ACCOUNT OF THE ADVENTURES OF LENORE
(Chapters I & II for first installment)
CHAPTER I: FROM HOME TO AWAY
Lenore was a normal girl. Slightly childish, very imaginative, and hardly courteous to her studies. It was all too common, though, for her to be walking around the garden when she should be with her tutor. The problem, however, is that the tutor did not mind. Lenore's parents did not mind. As long as she kept the grade, she had free reign over her leisure.
It happened that this particular afternoon, Lenore was out exploring the gardens with her white kitten, Delilah. Lenore had just finished her Latin lessons and would return after tea for geography, something Lenore hated more than anything in the world. Even escargot.
"It is a strange thing, indeed, Delilah, that we should have walked so far and yet gone no where at all!" This was a very curious exclamation from Lenore, especially since she had not walked more than twenty paces through the full hour of her exploration of the gardens around the house. The white-furred kitten in her arms simply purred; Lenore found it difficult to discern a "yes" purr from a "no" purr.
"Oh, simple-minded kitty! Why do you not make different noises so that I may tell whether you understand me or not?" Lenore brushed her kitten with her fingers and proceeded to make her way in a more or less forward-going fashion away from the house made of glass.
Around noon-day, when Lenore felt that the forest upon the horizon should be upon them now, Delilah jumped from her arms and ran away down a path lined with roses. Lenore pouted for a moment and stamped her foot. "Pooh!" said she, and Lenore took off at a relatively easily-paced run to catch up with the little white kitten.
CHAPTER II: INTO THE FOREST OF CURIOSITIES
After a few moments of running, Lenore found herself at the edge of the wood upon the horizon. It was not like the geography of her grandparents' estate to change so often. In fact, Lenore found it strange that the topography of her favorite vacationing spot kept changing. First, hills were over there. Then forests were here. And now, a railroad track was running through the forest!
Following the track awhile, Lenore found herself deep in the wood. It was dark and the rose-lined path had disappeared. A few moments after Lenore realized this, a scarlet-red train went barreling past. As the last car approached, the entire train slowed to a halt and the carriage door opened.
A kindly-looking gentlemen with white hair and a tuft of green upon his chin and brilliant blue spectacles adorning his gleaming yellow eyes bowed out of the door and grinned. And this is what he said:
"It is a wonderful pleasure, let me tell you,
To be serving a girl, I do not say 'adieu'.
Welcome aboard, O! welcome aboard
The Siffilin, Sillinous, Caribou-Fjord!"
Lenore found this to be a very bizarre thing to say, in the least. She did not understand why he spoke in verse, and did not understand what he meant by siffilin...sillinen...whatever he said. "What a strange name for a train, if it is the name of the train!" thought Lenore.
"Why, the train that you ride, it is this one, oh yes!
Do not be alarmed, O! do not, my lass!
Welcome aboard, O! welcome aboard
The Siffilin, Sillinous, Caribou-Fjord!"
Lenore did not bother to wonder if he had just made a lucky guess or if he had read her mind. Instead, she curtsied and smiled and climbed aboard with the help of the man's extra-large hands adorned with extra-long fingers. Gingerly kissing her hand, the man pulled Lenore up and into the carriage.
Suddenly, a loud noise made her jump. A great iron door had come down, blocking Lenore's path. The man's face turned grim as he looked at the young girl.
"Really, miss, do you honestly believe you can ride a train, even a train such as this one, without a ticket?" ("How curious! He did not speak in verse!" thought Lenore.)
"Well, I'm sorry, sir, I was not aware that I had to. You see, the train simply stopped where I was standing and--"
"Well! That is precisely what the train is supposed to do at the station!"
Lenore looked out the doorframe and saw, to her amazement, a station filled with many, many people and animals all trying to get on the train. But, to Lenore's surprise, she was holding them up.
"Please, miss, if you want to buy a ticket, depart from this train and go purchase one over there from the frog. Then, wait for the next train traveling in this direction and board again."
Lenore had no choice. She climbed off the train and onto the platform. In an instant, all the people and the train had disappeared; she was left alone on the platform with the frog and the station.
Walking up to the door of the station, she went to open it. But, she could not grasp the doorknob! The frog shuffled up to her and whispered hoarsely,
"The entire station is simply painted cardboard. That is why I sell tickets out here."
Lenore shook her head in bemusement. The frog continued. "I only say this because you are so obviously a foreigner. The others were impatient and did not want to hear your excuses for being foreign. It is all rush, rush, rush around here and nothing is ever full of summersalts."
Lenore, gravely mistaken as to the last word the frog had said, giggled and did a somersault for him. She was becoming used to these curiosities, so she said "There! Now the day is full of somersaults!"
The frog scratched his slimy head and laughed. "You see! You are an obvious foreigner! That is not a summersalt! Summersalts only appear when everyone sits down and drinks Lurple ink. And since that happens less and less these days, few summersalts are ever seen."
Lenore, instead of pressing the issue, changed the subject. "How can I look less like a foreigner?"
"Change your clothes."
"What!? I cannot do that in the middle of the day! It would be presumptuous of me."
("My, what a large and dangerous word!" thought Lenore to herself. She only hoped she had used it correctly.)
The frog shrugged his tiny shoulders. "Then I cannot sell you a ticket."
Lenore was about to protest when the frog pointed at a sign painted on the station. It went like this:
STATION RULES
1. Obey rule number 2.
2. Obey rule number 1.
3. No foreigners shall be sold tickets unless they can cleverly disguise their foreignness with clever clothing choices and speech patterns.
4. Never break the rules.
5. Obey rule 4.
6. Disregard rule 6.
"Well, that is just bizarre!" exclaimed Lenore. "Only rules three and four make any sense at all!"
The frog scratched his head thoughtfully. "Well, I think rule five makes sense, good or bad...and rule one doesn't make any sense without rule two, and vice-versa. And rule six, well, if it must be disregarded, there must be a rule stating so. So...all in all, I think all the rules make perfect sense."
Lenore hadn't thought of it like that. So, instead of fretting her brain much longer, she simply sighed and said "Alright. I guess they do make a lot of sense..."
"No. They make perfect sense. A lot of sense can be imperfect. You must always make sure you mean what you say, or else you might offend someone who does not know you are a foreigner."
With that, the frog promptly removed a large magenta ticket from his waistcoat and handed it to Lenore. Her tiny fingers took it gently. She went to curtsy and dropped the ticket. Fearing that it may blow away, Lenore jumped on it.
Suddenly, a great gust of wind rushed through the station. The ticket was lifted up, with poor Lenore riding atop it!
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More coming soon!
User Reviews
Submitted by Theevilbunny <theevilbunny.at.aol.com> at 2004-08-20 16:12:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, the whole thing reminds me far more of "Lenore-The Adventures of a cute Little Dead Girl", a comic about a gothy little girl named Lenore that has been around since the early 90s. Try Google-ing it and watch the magic. Or just type in "Roman Dirge". Probably easier.
Submitted by Mentor (user info) at 2004-08-10 02:56:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Link to the Internetti!
http://home.indy.rr.com/sterile/index.htm
Submitted by Mentor (user info) at 2004-07-02 10:32:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lenore was heavily influenced by Alice. It's a Victorian English setting, except Lenore is goth. (which you'll find out later) and this little wonderland is wonderland's and hell's bastard love child. ^^ Chapter three is entitled "Into the Soup". Just think of the possibilities that I've already written down.
Submitted by DeadKennedysKid (user info) at 2004-07-02 09:36:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
[Krista]
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-07-02 09:21:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I really like this so far. I look forward to future installments.
Submitted by euripidestrousers (user info) at 2004-07-02 09:13:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by mike at 2004-07-02 06:43:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's a bit like Alice in Wonderland though isn't it?
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-07-02 04:35:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want some of whatever you're on!
Submitted by squattail (user info) at 2004-07-02 03:40:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is a rock concert not the bleedin' splish splash show
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-07-02 01:59:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this isn't all that objective because I really didn't read it, but.....
Lenore made me remember "the raven" by edgar allen poe +2 for that