Writers Block (slightly NSFW) (1613 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.53 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <slapshotz69.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-07-03 06:41:09 EDT
"Tonight is the night i'm going to prove my mettle to the Uber Senate"...I've always come home from work with that piercing quest echoing in my head. I'd spend the day gathering my thoughts and looking up references and facts pertaining to what my posting subject was going to be. Believe me, I research my ass off about things i'm under the bell curve for.
I arrive home. Hands sweaty in anticipation of the upcoming task.
I quickly get my duties and chores done...I don't want to be disturbed during my grammatical chorus. Tonight is the night where the uber-elite will see that I can put two sentences together that acually make sense. Tonight I create.
I've been known to run on with my ellipses.(still will)... Running on to the point of causing migraines to some of Uber elite who, unfortunately came across some of my first post before I understood the standing SOP of UBER. I apologize for those first few post's. I'm deeper than that I assure you.
I sit down at my keyboard, cracking my knuckles like Chopin, or Pachelbel before a performance for the royal family. I'm focused. Determined. I raise my hands in a cruel, twisted Beethoven rage ready to strike my keys.
Then it happens. Just like it has happened on countless nights before.
The perfectly manicured hand of my writers block wraps around my face. Stifling a scream from my lips. A long, red-nailed, slendor finger traces an invisible line across my upper lip and moustache. Then its gone as quickly as it appeared. I'm confused, disoriented. My focus is gone.
Anger and frustration take over as my driving forces. Fuck, it took me all damn day to get to this literary-Zen state.
Then it hits me. A thought. A feeling. No its more visceral than that. Dammit... That invisible line traced across my lip. Anger and frustration are soon replaced by an animal craving and need. DAMN HER. She knows I was going to play a symphony for UBER tonight. She knows I was going to squash the idea that I couldn't post something of true weight... She knows me better than I do
Brain is now focused again...as I get up from my desk in an entirely different Zen state.... Maybe tomorrow. I'll have the whole day to start over and do some deeper research. One day I'll be more than a sentence with the sting of an dulled pick.
Blocked again... damn cat...
Its good to be me
User Reviews
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-10-18 00:24:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2004-09-29 07:21:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God damn.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2004-08-14 04:05:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by mymomthinksimcool (user info) at 2004-07-13 18:40:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wow is that ever not your wife. reading this has made me contemplate suicide.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-07-12 02:53:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're wife's hot.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-04 03:08:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 just for your wife's (?) amazing ass. My wife has one just like it; allow me to explain...
When viewed as in the picture, said ass appears vaguely like this:
/\ /\
/ \/ \
Flabby asses, when viewed the same way, appear vaguely like this:
____ ____
/ \/ \
To hell with flabby asses!
Submitted by Cjad_teh_Nord (user info) at 2004-07-04 02:48:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, don't take inspiration from me. I mean, my two posts were:
1) Religious Fanatic gets hit by a car in a humorous fashion
2) A recipe for a Tortilla Pizza
This in itself was a grand, and thought provoking post. Don't give up so easily, bud, just hang in there...
Oh, and I want to meet that woman...for a pleasant talk over coffee, of course...
+2 because of the picture
+0 because you're writing about not being able to write
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-07-04 02:37:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I 'd give that a push
im drunk......+2s for all!!!!!!!!
WOOOO....Go BEARS...I guess...!!!
WOOOOO!!!!!!!
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-07-04 01:06:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"perfectly manicured hand of my writers block wraps around my face. Stifling a scream from my lips. A long, red-nailed, slendor finger traces an invisible line across my upper lip and moustache. Then its gone as quickly as it appeared. I'm confused, disoriented. My focus is gone.
Then a few moments later you say damn cat like it was its fault. The connection either missed me or you forgot that cats don't have perfectly manicured fingers"
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In laymans terms:
basically , she (wife in picture) sneak's up behind me.......all the time........no matter where we are..acts like she's going to lean in for a kiss and traces a line across my upper lip with her "scent"....She drives me absolutely crazy...All men should have a women of this caliber in their lives...
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-03 14:18:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This should really have a higher score.
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2004-07-03 14:09:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I found it mildly entertaining.
Not sure what really happened. I even liked the idea of the writer's block being a thing that came and stopped you, but I think you kind of carried it a little too far.
The description was good enough for me.
The ending is what kind of threw me away. You described writers block as
"perfectly manicured hand of my writers block wraps around my face. Stifling a scream from my lips. A long, red-nailed, slendor finger traces an invisible line across my upper lip and moustache. Then its gone as quickly as it appeared. I'm confused, disoriented. My focus is gone.
Then a few moments later you say damn cat like it was its fault. The connection either missed me or you forgot that cats don't have perfectly manicured fingers
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2004-07-03 13:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
S'nice figure.
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2004-07-03 13:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
nice
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-07-03 12:07:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-07-03 11:33:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Go Snuggles! It's your birthday!
Submitted by Snuggles_The_Assassin (user info) at 2004-07-03 11:27:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow this fucking sucked and now I am going to kill some kittens.
Submitted by chicklett (user info) at 2004-07-03 10:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-07-03 09:49:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wonderful.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-07-03 09:28:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know the feeling well. Usually, I find that after a few drinks, the ideas come flooding in.
Nice photo... not sure about the tattoos though.
Submitted by Slapshot99 (user info) at 2004-07-03 08:48:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks woman...(lo)......it happens to me almost every night...gets aggravating sometimes.....subject tangent ......anyone ever tell you you look like Rachel Harris, the Comedienne?.......something I just noticed
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-07-03 07:52:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice. Very nice.