This Man Saved Your Life (31016 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 0.11 on 1876 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Cyst Master (View user info) at 2004-07-05 00:34:30 EDT
The legend of Jon Perry spawns back to the year 2001. An unrelenting young lad ravaged the fields of outer space disposing of intergalactic ruffians in search for a suitable planet that he could call his home for a base of operations. From the deep reaches of space he traveled millions of light years from Qo'noS to settle on planet earth. Along the way to his discovery of earth, he met and battled phosphoric gnomes of Premerotonausor, General Bat'Leth of the Roast Beef Hymen Clan, and Wookie like creatures similar in appearance to Robin Williams of the planet Depswa Da La Nagel. He settled on earth and became this planet's first interstellar galactic warrior.
The legend of earth's savior was most notable for his battles right here on earth under secretive actions. Why have you never heard of Jon Perry, the intergalactic space warrior before? Because he is shy, and enjoys Atari games, but keeps his secrets of space travel to himself in fear of intergalactic war.
Jon Perry although very humble, has never spoke ill of his honor. Jon Perry saved earth from an evil saboteur neurolytic pathogen invasion. The creatures invaded a zipper factory and stole a few couches from Pier 1 Imports.
Accessing his tricroder nebular contrivance, he threatened the weak defenseless carbon units, "Lower your shields and prepare to be assimilated." Replying with squeals of fear for surrender, he turned on his jet pack and soared fifteen feet above the ground and dismembered seventeen neurolytic pathogens and still managed to release a plasma grenade into a bin of zippers exploding upon impact. Sharp plastic teeth fragments launched in every direction slicing tiny little eyes and spraying brain casing on crotches as the little bitches ran for cover.
Jon Perry, not noticing the plastic pieces imbedding themselves into his tender child like pink skin and under his finger nails, hurdled himself into the air, did the Metroid 30 revolution summersault thing and landed on a hoard of school children crushing them into a thick paste.
After shaving his pubic hair he gathered the few remaining living beings into the breast pocket of his stealth jacket and brought them to Chancellor Martok so he could survey his mightiest warrior. Upon leaving the chancellor's male harem, he stopped for a bowl of Ferengi Starfleet Brand Oatmeal and asked the Andorian Imperial Guard if they wanted to go to the bathroom with him and cross streams.
Then he jumped on his turbograv hover cycle and patrolled the streets of downtown Warwick, Pennsylvania. There he found a wise janitor named Ki'rok Molor contemplating the prophets. With his tantalus field lowered Jon Perry totally trucked the dude and kicked him in the throat then sliced off his head with a light saber.
Then he encountered a strange bloated being which he automatically engaged as a threat. It was a pregnant woman, so he sliced open her stomach and gave her a rough light saber c-section. She had it coming for her. He pulled out the baby, ripped off its head and punted the body fifty yards. Then he whipped out his hydro carbon nun chucks and beat Christopher reeves for being lazy.
He then flipped his van over and yelled at a lamp. Soon after he threw broken bottles at some joggers on the street and pissed on his neighbor's dog.
To make a long story short (haaaaar), Jon Perry, also known as earth's mightiest intergalactic warrior, is some kid with severe autism, who pretends to fly around on jet packs powered by the sweet scent of little girls and fat Samoans.
So we pulled down his pants and threw rocks at his ass. And it was awesome.
User Reviews
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-11-17 18:07:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
last review.
http://www.lost.eu/6c115
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-17 16:22:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am flummoxed as to how I could have missed this all these years as it seems it would almost have to have been on the mrr for most of 2006 at least. insanity.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-17 15:21:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what the fuck just happened here three years ago? .1 on 1873 reviews? how the fuck?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-10-17 15:15:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When I see this post back on MRR it gives me a NHO.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-10-17 14:36:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
blurghe
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-17 14:17:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck, how I miss this post.
And The Cyst Master. Cystie was such a pleasant lad...
Oh, I remember that time he had taken me to Jon Perry's Gramma's house. Gramma Perry was such a limber, well-adjusted old whore. She had taught Sir Jon everything he knew about violating a woman's rectal cavity with respect. Yes, I can recall vividly how Gramma Perry showed us her collection of vaginal scabs, the ones she had peeled off so very carefully over the course of her many whoring years. What a sweet ol' Gram!
And then Cystie violated her rectal cavity in a manner that would have made Jon Perry weep with pride. PRIDE, I tell you! I mean, TCM lubed up with tabasco sauce & rock salt and just plowed away at that awaiting, ancient anus. It was a glorious sight to behold, and I was honored to be there that day with him.
We miss you, Cyst Master...
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-16 17:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Having read some of these reviews I cannot accept it when anyone says Uber was better 'back then' than it is now. This post is immortal and, therefore, I am now immortal too.
Har Har at below, dick head!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-09-16 16:17:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Last review.
Ever.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-08-11 17:43:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i think CystMaster was murdered by an asian.
jihad on asians.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-08-11 17:17:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-07-21 11:22:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
live from berlin
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-07-01 01:29:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
come back Cyst Master.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-06-06 10:45:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i enjoy an opened poot about every third Sunday.
it's glorious
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2007-06-02 15:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am sneaky.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-05-31 14:46:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
worth it for the glory of all the opened poots coming my way
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-05-31 14:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i had to hit enter and put a space underneath to get it through
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-05-31 14:45:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
open your poot
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2007-05-28 23:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
worth reading
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-05-28 14:20:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ugh
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2007-05-28 13:44:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Open YOUR poot.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-05-27 21:35:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
open your poot
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-05-27 21:12:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'll try to type that on every post and see what happens.
a real travesty. must be corrected.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-05-27 19:52:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and seriously when i type "open your poot" it won't submit as a review
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-05-27 19:52:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i registered with this site just to review this post
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2007-05-22 03:22:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shutup dickhead.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2007-05-21 19:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-05-21 18:40:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is this the most reviewed post on uber?
--------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44213
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-05-21 18:40:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is this the most reviewed post on uber?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-05-21 17:50:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
open your poot
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-05-21 17:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if you type "open your poot" it won't submit as a review.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-05-21 17:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what's going on
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-05-21 17:20:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what the fuck? open your poot!
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2007-05-20 01:37:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For fuck's sake. Just shut up and drip it.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-05-18 00:19:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no blank comments anymore?
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2007-05-16 03:02:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jeannnne I fucking hate you.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-05-13 23:17:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaha, YEAH
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-05-13 23:01:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bohme (user info) at 2007-05-12 23:24:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-05-12 23:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You all might as well give up now, because I have left myself a note which can only be opened in 2037 that tells me to go back here and review this post.
Submitted by Bohme (user info) at 2007-05-12 23:24:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2007-05-12 22:57:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God fucking dammit.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-05-11 20:43:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-05-11 20:29:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LAST REVIEW!!
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-05-11 20:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you picked a great place to leave it.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-05-08 23:48:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this will be my last review ever on this website.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-05-08 23:18:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HE SAVED MY LIFE?
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-05-03 19:12:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I WAS JUST WAITING LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO STOP CHECKING!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAFHJKSDFHNAF033NFGDAHAHA I HAVE LAST REVIEW NOW NIGGA
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2007-04-22 00:20:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AAHAHHHAHHAHAHAH I WAS LULLING YOU ALL INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY!!! I WILL HAVE THE LAST REVIEW!
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-03-05 23:52:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YEAH, LET'S GANGBANG THIS POST!!!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-03-05 16:46:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
SERIOUSLY, FUCK THIS POST
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-03-05 16:43:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-03-05 16:26:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-03-05 12:07:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-03-05 11:49:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
last comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-03-05 16:26:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-03-05 12:07:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-03-05 11:49:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
last comment
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-03-05 12:07:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-03-05 11:49:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
last comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-03-05 11:49:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
last comment
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-02-21 23:57:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you fucking fagatron! you stole that story from me:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37531
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:53:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just shit my pants and immediately thought of you
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:51:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The end.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK YOU!
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:50:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Once upon a time......
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:50:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Want to hear a funny story?
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-21 16:35:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I pooped out of my mouth.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2007-02-20 01:58:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My mom keeps calling me. It's fucking annoying.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2007-02-18 19:18:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nothing beats saxaphone assholes.
They just can't be beat.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-18 18:53:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cocks and Bugles. The food, not the horn.
That's what I eat every morning.
After I eat an asshole and a saxophone.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-02-18 01:12:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
but don't call him that. it's racist.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-02-18 01:12:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dude, zach braff is a jew!!
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-14 10:49:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy VD day Jon Perry!
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-12 22:58:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Poon slime.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-12 22:58:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's just gross.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-12 22:58:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That wasn't mine.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-12 22:58:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would never beat off with a shit covered palm.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-12 22:57:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
In fact, in a few seconds you won't even be matter.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-12 22:57:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It don't matter.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-12 22:56:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I mean, fuck. He's a jew.
Right?
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-12 22:56:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would not consider Zach Braff an attractive man.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-12 22:55:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, remember black people?
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-12 22:55:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
On the weekends I slurp the shit out of my own ass with a hacked section of garden hose. But only on the weekends.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-02-12 16:27:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
taste the awesomeness
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-02-10 15:38:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
same thing happened here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/37531
WOO 1800 niggas
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-02-10 15:38:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i totally agree
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-02-10 15:37:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that's my average time, by the way
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-02-10 15:37:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i can solve a rubik's cube i 3 seconds
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-02-10 15:37:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'll be honest, i'm just working this up to 1800
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-02-10 15:36:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
all one word
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-02-10 15:36:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
p.s. i named my dog DildoMagic
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-02-10 15:36:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2007-02-10 13:42:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
That...is a lot of fucking reviews.
---
read them all, they run together and form a brilliant story!
Submitted by Manitou (user info) at 2007-02-10 14:24:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This post needs more wookie.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-02-10 14:00:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2007-02-10 13:42:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That...is a lot of fucking reviews.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-09 07:42:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Covered in fuck.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-02-09 07:41:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When I fart I dream of clovers.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2007-02-07 01:28:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucking hate you people.
Submitted by cera (user info) at 2007-02-04 16:16:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-02-03 16:34:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The albino beat his manhood furiously, all the while fantasizing of race-based genocide and back alley abortions.
As the pressure in his swollen balls grew to the limit, he used his free hand to slide the rusty wire coathanger from his urethra.
He was just in time as his filthy seed spilled out, each burst punctuated by his exclaimation "Pappy!" in a high pitched squeal.
Letting his now limp member fall back into the nest of nylon curls that adorned the dolls head, the albino examined his masterpiece.
Drying in rivulets on the old, worn wallpaper, the composition of thick fluid and faded blue daisies touched something in his head.
"Looks like the profile of Abe Lincoln," giggled the albino as he massaged his taint with the doll's curly head...
Submitted by exposed (user info) at 2007-02-03 16:08:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This man shaved your wife
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2007-02-03 15:52:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
balls
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-02-01 22:56:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah right fag.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2007-01-31 21:36:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really like beer.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-01-31 00:22:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
holy shit, i think this guy saved my life!
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-01-28 15:36:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/38008
learn it love it
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-01-28 15:33:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-05-07 00:22:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
I love fucking little boys.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-01-28 15:33:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
back on MRR. word
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-01-28 15:31:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-12-09 11:53:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-12-03 15:57:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-11-30 23:27:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-30 22:48:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-30 11:20:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-30 11:17:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally agree! Same thing happened here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/96331
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2007-01-28 15:29:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is allowed on MRR again?
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2007-01-25 20:46:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fags
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-01-25 14:33:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hi Jon Perry, welcome back to MRR
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-25 14:33:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
stop it guys this is the last comment
Submitted by blackeyedbitch (user info) at 2007-01-25 14:13:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-01-23 23:53:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-01-23 23:36:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet jesus titty fucking christ.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2007-01-17 02:35:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I LOVE SMUTS
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-01-16 19:23:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
woooooooooooooooooord
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:59:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA YOU ALL WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR MOMS
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-01-10 13:59:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I pooped my dick.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-01-10 01:49:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
get a room
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2007-01-10 01:37:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dicks
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-12-27 23:30:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Post between this post and the next post I make if you want to have sex with your mom.
Submitted by GMCrayon (user info) at 2006-12-26 01:53:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Merry Xmas Jon!
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-12-26 01:24:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-12-23 16:05:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-22 00:31:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-19 18:18:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-19 10:19:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the last review ever on this post.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-12-24 21:27:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fags.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-12-23 16:05:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-22 00:31:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-19 18:18:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-19 10:19:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the last review ever on this post.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-22 00:31:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-19 18:18:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-19 10:19:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the last review ever on this post.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-12-21 14:59:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Aweshum.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-12-19 18:24:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1755...oh yeah?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-19 18:18:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-19 10:19:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the last review ever on this post.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-12-19 18:05:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FALSE
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-19 10:19:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the last review ever on this post.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-12-19 10:02:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH dibs me signing next.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-12-17 18:40:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Next person that signs this is gay as hell.
Submitted by GMCrayon (user info) at 2006-12-17 11:35:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He saved my life!
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-12-17 11:23:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope everyone has a Merry Flag Day.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-12-16 23:50:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your wish is granted.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-12-16 16:43:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i have never reviewed this post...
but i love Cyst Master, so here i am. now maybe he will let me anally violate him.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-12-16 16:05:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Right on.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-12-16 11:42:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I love this post because no coloreds are allowed
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-12-16 11:02:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Liar.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-12-16 10:53:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
that man did not save my life
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-12-16 10:45:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://stuff.ubersite.com/11564810315827659/1/Miss-goatse.jpg
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-12-15 23:23:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Filipino boys with wide set vaginas and a heavy flow?
Why, yes.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-12-15 21:35:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got you a present for Christmas. Hope you like Filipino boys.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-12-15 21:17:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
word
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-12-15 20:50:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
drunk on fuck
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-12-15 11:15:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What're you, drunk?
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-12-14 14:38:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Best forever yes thing world in it YES!
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-12-14 14:29:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I say fuck in a totally homosexual way.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-12-12 07:14:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So this guy walks into a bar, right?
HE SAYS OUCH!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-11 16:26:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-12-11 16:16:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Caterpillars will take over the world when we're gone.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-12-10 09:31:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I POOPED IN AN ELEVATOR
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-12-09 11:53:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-12-03 15:57:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-11-30 23:27:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-30 22:48:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-30 11:20:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-30 11:17:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally agree! Same thing happened here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/96331
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-12-03 15:57:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-11-30 23:27:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-30 22:48:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-30 11:20:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-30 11:17:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally agree! Same thing happened here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/96331
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-12-01 21:15:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Iliketodostuff.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-11-30 23:27:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-30 22:48:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-30 11:20:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-30 11:17:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally agree! Same thing happened here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/96331
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-11-30 23:02:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like salty buns.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-11-30 22:56:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wow, that's some good photoshopping
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-30 22:48:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-30 11:20:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-30 11:17:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally agree! Same thing happened here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/96331
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-30 11:20:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-30 11:17:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally agree! Same thing happened here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/96331
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-30 11:17:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I totally agree! Same thing happened here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/96331
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-11-30 01:01:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
W00t we passed 20K!!!
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-11-30 01:01:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BOOM!!!1! Struck down like undapantz!
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-25 16:19:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate you.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-25 14:02:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What is that stench?
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-11-25 13:11:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Five days later, and I'm still the king. Bitch-ass Wijormiclat, when will you ever learn...
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-20 01:07:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What was I reading?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-11-19 01:36:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ss
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-17 01:31:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am going to open your butt with the jaws of life.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-11-16 00:36:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
!
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-16 00:17:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-15 18:49:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DUDE WE CAN PLAY SUPER SMASH
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-15 15:57:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll be back sunday. Shooting lasers and shitting like a champ. As always.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-15 15:21:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you coming home for thanksgiving you slutty little monkey?
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-15 07:37:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Burning.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-11 23:47:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am good at pooping.
Submitted by foster (user info) at 2006-11-10 22:18:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yup. Last review here.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-10 21:50:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK YOU ALL STOP NOW PLEASE I WILL PAY YOU
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-10 07:24:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate when I poop a little when I fart. No, wait. I got that backwards. No. I love it.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-11-08 11:15:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-08 10:55:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know, but the jerk store called, and they're running out of you.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-07 22:46:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who brought the jerk?
1700
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-11-07 20:21:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
did the retard escape?
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-07 20:18:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Does yo chain hang low?
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-07 18:34:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sure, I'll jack your cum bomb...
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-07 09:09:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
cum bomb
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-07 09:08:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-07 09:07:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
jack
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-07 09:07:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
will
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-06 22:41:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Q: What does FUBU really stand for?
A: Farmers Use'ta Beat Us.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-11-04 11:40:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So this Elvis impersonator was lost in the deserts of New Mexico, right? He had been looking to get a job at the FDR Memorial chocolate factory, but had taken a wrong turn somewhere. So here he wandered, dreaming of BBQ Buffalo wings and scat porn, all the while growing more despondant. Eventually, he came upon a displaced seal who had been fired from Sea World under suspicious circumstances. The seal was plowing his seal-like cock into the mouth piece of a trumpet.
"Feels just like otter pussy!" exclaimed the seal.
The Elvis impersonator had never shoved his dick in an otter before, female or other wise. He prefered the feel of warm feces caked around his manhood and was slightly apprehensive about inter-species relationships. Regardless, he nodded at the seal and gave an enthusiastic thumbs up.
The seal continued his primal thrusts, punctuated with grunts and an occational, "Yeah, take it slut."
"Have you by chance seen the FDR Memorial chocolate factory any where around here?" asked the Elvis impersonator.
Through his grunts and moans, the seal replied, "Didn't you know, man? Jon Perry came down from outer space and claimed that bitch in honor of himself. All the chocolate factories the world over have been teleported to Saturn so that they could created a giant chocolate statue of him."
As the Elvis impersonator considered this turn of events, the seal began plunging at the trumpet rapidly. Sweat ran off it's little face and it muttered something about its mother as its eyes began to roll back. Just then, the seal began to ejaculate. It's filthy seal sperm fired from the end of the trumpet like a cannon, and strangely, its passage produced a tune that sounded much like the opening gutair line to "Sweet Home Alabama."
Spent, the seal pulled the trumpet from its flaccid member and held it towards the Elvis Impersonator. "Wanna try?"
With a sigh, the Elivis impersonator started to undo his belt. As he smacked his cock repeatedly to get it hard, he tried to think pleasant thoughts and not of the hero Jon Perry on a far away planet with his chocolate statue...
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-11-04 11:09:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shiddick
lolz
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-11-04 10:47:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1,688 fags below
Submitted by foster (user info) at 2006-11-04 09:49:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is the last review.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-04 09:36:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah me too.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-04 08:30:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuckity.
I mean I'd fuck a pile of shit.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-11-03 09:58:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Foster is a dick.
Submitted by foster (user info) at 2006-11-03 08:06:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Last review.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-11-03 07:46:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it a bird?
Is it a plane?
NO!
It's the GAY NIGGERS FROM OUTER SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-03 07:35:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got spicey shits.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-11-01 19:22:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I make poopy.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-10-31 17:37:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was talkin to AM radio
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-10-31 10:16:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Whatchu say?
Fuck you.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-10-30 01:34:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to shoot you all in the cunt.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-10-29 09:23:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-02-26 02:04:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
Final review.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-10-29 09:17:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You can't do SHIT without your BALLS, Wijormiclat!!!
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-10-27 18:57:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I fell asleep. I'll be over soon with treats.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-10-27 15:57:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ballsack lol
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-10-27 15:54:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'll call your ass to see if he wants to come over.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-10-27 15:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey, wormy cat - come over now
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-10-27 15:53:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HOLY SHIT! MRR! NO WAY! WORD!
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-10-27 15:47:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why? The 11 I've done aren't enough for you?
I have not the time, nor the desire to make a decent post... or even a shitty one...
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-10-26 15:36:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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WIJORMICLAT!!! MAKE A FUCKING POST!!!
WIJORMICLAT!!! MAKE A FUCKING POST!!!
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-10-26 15:27:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What does it mean for one "to penis."
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-10-25 22:52:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi sweety buns.
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2006-10-25 22:36:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-10-25 22:14:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
If everyone stops reviewing this post forever, then I will tell you.
---
GET PENISED HOMO
Never stop reviewing this post. That's an order.
ALSO: Hi.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-10-25 22:14:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If everyone stops reviewing this post forever, then I will tell you.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-10-25 18:07:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wijormiclat? What the hell does that mean?
WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT NAME
FOILS A HORSE MADE OF KRYPTONITE!!!
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-10-24 18:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thumb war in my ass! Everyone's invited.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-10-23 22:04:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1-2-3-4 I DECLARE THUMB WAR
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-23 21:50:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kaos-King rapes under-18 boys with Tigerlilly's severed leg, which he bit off with his mutilated plastic-surgery enhanced vampire teeth.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-22 16:32:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maltese, can I fist your ass in a non-sexual, totally plutonic sorta way? No, no... listen...
Just so you know, I plan on rolling my hand in yellow wood glue first, then dipping it drive-way rock salt, then liberally applying tabasco sauce all about my caked fingers. I may, JUST MAY, be clenching a number of razor blades as well.
Anyhow, I'll bend you over and use a staple gun to clip your anus wide, because Cystie tells me you like to tighten up. We can't have that! I figure I'll work my middle knuckle into your awaiting rectum then just plunge away. I'm quite curious to see how far of a depth I can achieve before you pass out. I've worked out a very complex equation based on pain VS blood loss, but I won't go into that here.
Seriously, this is nothing personal... please don't take it that way! I've already offered my services to Axolotl, but for some reason he won't respond to my e-mails anymore. Avergae_Dan really wanted to participate, but I heard his anal cavity is as wide as The Grand Canyon, and I really need a bit of friction for this experiment.
So, whaddaya say???
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-10-22 16:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Over my dead body will anyone have the final review on this post.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-10-22 16:13:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FINAL REVIEW. FUCK!!!1!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-22 15:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sorry wijormiclat.
I'll go dig up somebody's dead grandma and launch bottle rockets out of her decaying vagina to make you feel better.
You like bottle rockets, right???
I know I like bottle rockets, especially when they have the stench of cunt rot on them...
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-10-22 15:16:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A week and a fucking half. That's how long I was on top. You ruined it. You fucking faggots.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-22 04:47:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because Jon Perry demands a tribute!!!
(and Cystie like to jerk it to sick shit)
>>>>NSFW links you silly little bitches!!!<<<<<
http://poetry.rotten.com/dismemberment-ii/index3.html
http://poetry.rotten.com/cab-driver/
http://poetry.rotten.com/lisboa/
http://poetry.rotten.com/goiter-ii/index1.html
http://poetry.rotten.com/weightlifter/
http://poetry.rotten.com/meat-grinder/0002/
http://poetry.rotten.com/customs/
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-21 22:51:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
jkljj hju hjb
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-10-21 21:54:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
because jon perry has super stellar space powers and uses them to hunt babies
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2006-10-21 21:51:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How is this still not rate/hit capped...
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-10-21 21:40:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DUDES, I JUST BOUGHT A SYBIAN!!! IT'S NOT GAY!
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-10-09 16:58:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Niggaz is mad I get mo' butt than ash trays.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-10-09 10:16:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Suck ma cock!
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-10-09 10:16:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....positive rate-age!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-10-09 03:47:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Listen here, I say, listen here you!!!
It's one thing to dress up Down Syndrome children like Hitler before you cram your fist up their tightly clenched little buttox, but MUST you listen to Beethoven's "Ode To Joy" every time you engage in this practice? I grow weary of that particular tune!
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2006-10-09 03:35:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell no beeeyotch
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-10-06 16:32:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!