Ralph Nader and the Crew Transform (Batteries Not Included) (722 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.6 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by I <3 Fetish? (View user info) at 2004-07-05 01:14:20 EDT
This is kind of the first part: http://www.ubersite.com/m/36917. I don't think it is necessary that it be read to understand this.
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"I'm John Kerry and I support this message."
"Boy, I'll tell yeah, Ted," said Ralph as he shut off the T.V. at his Pacific coastal house, "This election is going to get rough, rougher than usual."
"Exactly my thoughts," replied Ted Kennedy, "...Ralphy...you have to drop out of this race. There is too much on the line. Don't do this to us."
Nader stood up and paced back and forth, as though he was actually thinking about dropping out.
In a calm voice, Ralph spoke, "Shut the fuck up, Ted. This spoiler effect nonsense is pissing me off."
"Well it's true! You can't hide from the facts. Drop out now, or pay the price," Ted demanded.
Just then, Hillary Clinton busted into the room, questioning, "Are you two arguing about Ralph dropping out of the race again? Give it a rest; you go at it every ten minutes."
"Go at it every ten minutes? I think you've mistaken us for your husband and Monica," retorted Ralph.
"Quit it with..."
"I'm not..."
"Don't make me..."
"He'll win..."
"Didn't happen..."
"No!..."
"Yes!"
The three bickered for a bit until...
"Transform!" shouted the trio as they transfigured (yes, it's a word) into giant robots, busting up Ralphy's domicile.
Robot Ralph instantly fired three missiles at the legs of Robot Ted.
"Eat shit, liberal," he exclaimed with a hint of glee in his voice as Robot Ted stumbled backwards, destroying trees, houses, etc.
Robot Hillary wasn't about to be left out. The shebot undid her bra.
"No, you can't! They...no!," yelped Ralph and Ted in unison.
Hillbot lifted her shirt to unleash her nasty, old, stanking titties. This, of course, blinded the other bots (and anyone who saw them, for that matter) long enough for Hillary to handcuff them.
"All right, boys, get out of your bot forms. Now! I swear I will reveal myself aga..."
"Okay! Okay! We don't want any harm! Please, keep your shirt on!"
Ted and Ralph complied. Hillary went back to human form after everything was calm again.
As Hillary's size reduced, Ted sprung back into Robot form, and flew off.
He came back with a time portal tied to a rope.
"What happened to...uh...the laws of physics here?" inquired Ralph.
Ted didn't like Ralphy's smack talk, "Shut up! This portal is for you. I will send you back to the 1960s so you can't run for president now!"
As Ted's mouth shut, the portal began to shake and rattle (no rolling, though).
Out popped Thomas Jefferson and Thomas Paine (both in robot form)!
"No taxation without representation!"
They blasted at the ground, breaking 16,649 km^2 of land off of mainland USA. They watched as the three aging liberal hippies floated off into the Pacific.
"Tha's wha' I beez talkin' 'bout. Beat dat, Washington," said Jefferson (who is now a rap star).
And that is how Hawaii came to be.
And that's why we celebrate the Fourth of July.
And that's why birds fly south for the winter.
[Insert badly GIMPed Image]
Vagina.
User Reviews
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-07-05 17:16:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Probably the only thing that Kerry can do to screw up his election would be to name Hillary as his running mate.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-05 06:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-07-05 05:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
just so you know, Hillary Clinton for VP 4:58 am july 5th
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2004-07-05 02:31:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-07-05 01:41:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All hope was lost until I saw that magical little word 'vagina'.
+57.3