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My retarded girlfriend (NSFW) (1361 hits)

Category: None

Rating: 0.2 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)

Submitted by Pol Pot (View user info) at 2004-07-05 02:43:42 EDT

The upsides of dating retards/"handicapables"

a) If she has no legs you can tie her into a wheelchair and affix it to a home-made track that does a circuit around the kitchen. She'll cry in frustration at first, but eventually she'll get bored and nine times out of ten a four course meal will be ready for you by the time you get home from your job.

b) If she has no legs and she ever falls pregnant you can paint two red rings around her neck and put her on the front porch as an ornemental novelty gigantic bowling pin.

c) If she has no/deformed (and thus tiny boneless) arms and legs, if you ever go on a trip together you can fit her safely into the overhead compartment and put your feet up on her seat.

d) If she is blind you can rearrange the furniture in your house every morning and film the mishaps on digital video. If her bed fits horizontally through your front door you might want to try dragging her while in her bed into the middle of your street.

e) If she is retarded you can punch her in the face, cause they don't feel pain like we do.

f) If she is retarded and loud you can put a dog barking collar on her and fill the collar's compartment with pepper spray.

g) If she is disabled and you ever want to dump her, you can just walk out of her house you have been mooching in for the duration of the relationship with no strings attached. That is, unless you want to keep her house. Then you just convince the retarded bitch to hand over control of the property and the second her shaky mongoloid hand crosses an X on those papers you dropkick her out into the cold world.

h) If she is retarded you can just feed her dog food, which is cost effective and simple to prepare. If she is just physically disabled she can prepare her own food, but it is still going to cost you up to $10 a day to keep her fainting during one of your vigorous love making sessions.

User Reviews

Submitted by ubersitemakesmypenistemble (user info) at 2004-07-07 16:25:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

die

Submitted by ubersitemakesmypenistemble (user info) at 2004-07-07 16:25:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

-2, you cunt.

Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-07-05 23:10:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

I did not mean to laugh at this but the meantal images made me.
I am going to have to do cumminuity service to undo the bad karma

Submitted by gassygirl73 (user info) at 2004-07-05 17:06:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

This is so bad.

Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-07-05 12:17:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

g) If she is disabled and you ever want to dump her, you can just walk out of her house you have been mooching in for the duration of the relationship with no strings attached. That is, unless you want to keep her house. Then you just convince the retarded bitch to hand over control of the property and the second her shaky mongoloid hand crosses an X on those papers you dropkick her out into the cold world.

Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-07-05 11:45:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

No Comment

Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2004-07-05 07:04:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

+2 for the bowling pin
-2 cuz the rest sucked

Submitted by Fleadh (user info) at 2004-07-05 07:01:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

Kickass

Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-05 06:40:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

No Comment

Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2004-07-05 05:14:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Funny. And I read ALL of it.

Submitted by RapSupaStar (user info) at 2004-07-05 05:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by kakhuis (user info) at 2004-07-05 04:45:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

WE SHOULD GET SOME MORE OF THIS

Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2004-07-05 04:29:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Ha ha.

Submitted by PolPot (user info) at 2004-07-05 04:04:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

These scores are fucked. You made a logic error in the new scoring system, you fuck.

Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2004-07-05 03:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Nope, not fat and covered with zits, just plain old oops-I-fell-from-the-ugly-tree ugly.

Submitted by PolPot (user info) at 2004-07-05 03:12:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

These scores are fucked

Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-07-05 03:04:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I don't know why I'm back in here, must have been a flashback from the war.

Submitted by PolPot (user info) at 2004-07-05 02:52:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

http://www.ubersite.com/m/26900

Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-07-05 02:48:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Hey--you can make fun of her here, but she's the best you're ever gonna get.

Is she fat and covered with zits too?

Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-07-05 02:48:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

NSFA.